Hostlestuck

[Valtarshol]

It's because we brought you down to Earth so you'd stop being too fly for our bullshit.




Nice try. You're on an airplane, though, so obviously your logic is flawed.

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How the fuck do I roll for that.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> Possess the Pilot, loot your corpse.

[2Cre@te]

> Switch to Alpha timeline.

[Absol]

>Airplane: Crash.

[Valtarshol]

Posess the pilot, loot your corpse.




You easily posess the PILOT.



You head for you CORPSE, but you have a nasty feeling that you're forgetting something...



Oh yeah, you're on a FUCKING AIRPLANE. Oops.

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7, then 2.

[xeroticDeceiver]

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I love AND hate the dice. >.<

> Use your parachute.

[Valtarshol]

Use your parachute.




You reach for your parachute and OH GOG IT'S THE SURPRISE INTERMISSION.

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Why roll for the SURPRISE INTERMISSION?

[Absol]

>Thing: Drink all the radioactive sludge.

[Valtarshol]

Thing: Drink all the radioactive sludge.

(Spoilered for potential seizure-inducing qualities.)

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You are now the FAREY LUSAS.
YU CANOP DRINC THAR ADIOAKTYF SLEUGHJ, IT BELANGZ TU NITROKS!

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2. So you get terrifying FAREYS.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> Farey Lusas: Crap all over the place like an insane incontinent duck.

[Valtarshol]

Farey Lusas: Crap all over the place like an insane incontinent duck.




You can no longer play as the FAREY LUSAS! It has deteriorated into a pile of DEPLETED FAREY DUST!

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1.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> Nitroks: Snort Farey dust.

[Valtarshol]

Nitroks: Snort Farey dust.




You are now NITROX CRUCIM. You are INCREDIBLY AGITATED, as a voice has commanded that you SNORT YOUR PRECIOUS LUSUS!
You absolutely refuse to do this so long as you can REENRICH him again! Which is ALWAYS!

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Come on, you know this had to happen. Rolled anyway, and got a four.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> Reenrich your Lusus. With saliva (?).

[Valtarshol]

Reenrich your Lusus. With Saliva (?).




That sounds like an excellent idea! Unfortunately, you do not SALIVATE, as your SALIVA PRODUCTION GLANDS have long since succumbed to RADIATION POISONING.
Sometimes you really wish your blood was not URANIUM-BASED. You do have something else to REENRICH him with, though...

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I'm going to stop rolling for the intermission, because this is actually going somewhere. I'll still be doing the first command, but I'll try to subtly guide the commands in the direction I want. With, you know, story shenanigans.

[Absol]

>Admire your non-blurry mouth, arms, and eyebrows.

[Valtarshol]

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Let me know what you think of the sprite change, please. I'm not sure I like how it turned out.

Admire your non-blurry mouth, arms, and eyebrows.




What the fuck are you talking about, your whole body's in perfect FOCUS.
Now stop stalling, your LUSUS needs REENRICHING.

[Absol]

I like it.

Reenrich that lusus to death bro.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> Reenrich that lusus with fortified wine?

[Valtarshol]

Reenrich that lusus to death, bro.




That seems to be a PERFECTLY REASONABLE IDEA. All you have to do is-



Oh shit. Not this again. Nononono oh gog fuck no-



Shit. At this rate, you might actually be dead.

[xeroticDeceiver]

> What the hell is wrong with you?

[Absol]

>Get your meds!

[Valtarshol]

What the hell is wrong with you?

(Spoilered, again, for potential seizure-inducing qualities.)

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You can no longer play as NITROX, for he has DIED of RADIATION POISONING!
Instead you get to gaze at his CORPSE and the pretty flashing LIGHT.

[Absol]

>Screw this, I'd rather be someone working at McDonald's than him.

[Valtarshol]

Screw this, I'd rather be someone working at McDonald's than him.




You are now the HOBO EMMISARY.
You don't actually work, but there's a MCDONALD'S behind you.

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5.