Parental argument issues.

[Graknorke]

So I have a problem that I think warrants its own thread so as not to derail others and because it's kind of a big problem for me.

My parents broke up when I was about three years old, and my mum got custody of me and I visit my dad every other weekend. That's okay and I'm pretty cool with that. My mum is a bit overprotective but that's mothers, otherwise she's okay, my stepdad is pretty okay, my dad is cool but my stepmother doesn't like me at all I don't think. She's as polite as she has to be and doesn't do anything spiteful but I can tell that she doesn't like me because she'll never speak to me unprompted and is generally cold towards me.

A couple of days ago my mum was crying as we were setting out somewhere, I asked her what was wrong and she looked at me and after a pause she said "I can't tell you.". Then when I asked if it had anything to do with me she said no after pause again. I've known her for longer than I've had a personality worth knowing so I could tell that she was lying. Later I heard her talking to my stepdad about "horrible phone calls" or something and then talking about me again. By this point I was sure this was very much to do with me so I check through her phone because I wasn't going to get the truth by asking nicely; and here's more or less a summary of what happened.

We (My mum, stepdad as well as some other family and me) had been on holiday for a couple of weeks so I had missed a weekend where I would normally be with my dad, and my mum had sent him a text asking if he wanted me to come over on a weekend when I would not normally be there. Something had gone wrong with the text and it had sent twice, but I don't know if this had an effect on events or not. My stepmother then called my mum and from what I can tell from it, said that it was my fault for missing a weekend by being on holiday and that I was not as important as my dad's two daughters with my stepmother. She probably also made some personal jabs at my mum but I don't know that for sure. My mum then wrote a badly worded angry text to my dad, making him out to be a bad guy and whatever when the events probably had little to do with him (I know for a fact that my stepmother looks through his phone).

Basically everyone's getting angry at everyone else and I don't really know how I'm supposed to react to this. Or if I should even let on that I know because then my dad might think my mum had been trying to get me on her side by telling me events from a biased standpoint or vice-versa.

I have absolutely no idea what to do besides petty childish things like spitefully messing up my stepmother's things because I don't really like her either.

[deltron zero]

Now I'm no expert on the subject, but I do have experience with fighting parents. Now it's horrible that things have gone this way, but misunderstandings tend to make things exponentially worse. The most I can tell you man is to just be up front and truthful. Tell your parents the truth about what happened (or at least what you think what happened, at least say that it could be possible), and if you feel it's necessary, try telling your dad how you feel about your stepmother, and why you feel that way. At the very least you can get everybody on the same level. I find that solutions are only possible when you're all on the same page, if not in an argument than at least in understanding what that argument is about.

[Graknorke]

So this whole things seems to have kind of blown over. It wasn't some sort of life-shattering thing anyway, but it's all gone down smoother than I expected with no actualy action required on my end. It'll probably do for me to just step up my general hostility by a few levels while remaining incredibly polite and it'll be fine.
Problem more-or-less resolved.

[deltron zero]

Well, in my situation I figured that it wasn't worth getting stressed out over. Why should I care that my parents want to behave like children? I pretty much just let them go at it, it doesn't concern me, so why should I care? I've got a life to live.