captain

[Captain Combusken]

captain
This is probably an awful idea. Almost definitely in fact. Why am I starting a new fanventure when I already don't have time for my other two that currently exist? It is a stupid idea Captain you are a stupid stupid man-boy-thing.

Sarah goddamn you and your awesome ideas!



This is what I look like. Sort of. I am a fan of Pokemon, I do love wearing shades and I do like camo shorts, for sure, but I definitely have arms. And sleeves. And hands. It's just I can't draw them because I suck at drawing them, ok? And no it will not become a recurring gag (it might, we'll see).

So what would you have me do, you creative, brainy individuals? Unless if you're not brainy. Or creative. I ena it's not for everyone, being brainty and creative, right? In which case order me using you un-brainy and uncreative suggestions. I'm sure I will like those anyway. I definitely do not want to be stuck in Rainbow land smooching the dead corpse of a scarecrow-robot hybrid in order to bring it back to life so it can slay a giant alien for me. That would be awful.

[MythicalWashrag]

Captain > Show us the dance of your people.

[Dalmationer]

>OH NOOO TUXEDO BULLLLLL

[Everanix]

> Find someone to lock eyes with so you can have a pokemon battle.

[Captain Combusken]

Captain > Show us the dance of your people.

NO.

I loathe dancing. It is a truly disgusting use of time that can only result in embarrassment. Granted, watching others dance is fine, provided they are good dancers not dancing at a disco or in a night club and as art, it is ok. I have never personally understood it, but I can accept that others like it. But any mention of me dancing results in very aggressive behaviour from me, as can be evidenced by this angry face (the angriest face!).

> Find someone to lock eyes with so you can have a pokemon battle.

I so wish Pokemon were real. Then I could have quality Pokemon battles with awesome people like Sarah. I'm sure she'd be a good battler. Someone who could challenge me. Sadly I'm limited to a DS at the moment. Although I could challenge people on DS. That is fun.

Captain: Look at room

[OBLIGATORY ROOM INSPECTION]
This is my room. It is a very small room. It is usually much messier too.

[Kíeros]

> Leave your room and explore the rest of the house.

[Dalmationer]

>Watch Tuxedo Bull.

[Captain Combusken]

> Leave your room and explore the rest of the house.

How can I leave my room...

When I am already not in it?

This is clearly not my room because my room did not have my computer in it, remember? I just showed you it because there are rules to fanventures. Rules that I must obey.

Before I leave I will need to sort out an inventory, as any good adventurer should.

As you can see I have four places to put items. I can fit as much as will go in two STANDARD SIZED POCKETS, plus I have my HANDS. But I prefer not to carry anything in them. Also I may need a weapon.

[Everanix]

>Designate a pen as your weapon.

[mightier than the sword joke here]

[Tirgo]

>find out where the nearest strip club is

[Dalmationer]

>Designate pokeball kind as a weapon. The joke is that they don't exist so you can never fight.

[Captain Combusken]

>Designate a pen as your weapon.

>Designate pokeball kind as a weapon. The joke is that they don't exist so you can never fight.

I make POKEBALLKIND and MIGHTIERTHANTHESWORDKIND my WEAPONS for today. This is the real world. We do not STRIFE in the real world. We FIGHT.


My HANDS are now full. I still have space in my POCKETS, though.

>find out where the nearest strip club is

Wallpaper stripping sure is fun. I never got good at it though, so I kinda gave up. I do know the guy who runs the club, though. His name is Jeff. All wallpaper strippers are called Jeff. Maybe that's why I never got the hang of it. Because my name isn't Jeff.

Jeff won't be appearing in this story, by the way.

[Dalmationer]

>Watch a video of jeff stripping off his wallpaper.

[PersonPerson]

Go change your name to Jeff.