Homestuck/Problem Sleuth Caption Competition: Round Two!

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

Hello to one and hello to all, and welcome! I'm your host and moderator (last part seems a bit unecessary; these things usually run pretty smoothly on their own) for this second thread, AProcrastinatingWriter!

Well then, let's get to the nitty-gritty of things by reminding all you fine folks how to play...of course, if you already remember, feel free to skip this spoiler. It is, admittedly, very long.

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During each round, the winner of the last round (or "judge") of the caption competition will post a picture from Homestuck or Problem Sleuth (bonus and charity pages included) that will be offered up as the guidelines for entries. Each person who wants to play that round may do so by entering in a caption to match the given picture, usually humorous (though if you think you can manage to win with a serious or thought-provoking caption, you are free to do that as well.) Pictures, as a general rule, should not be reused throughout the same topic, though pictures from previous topics are fair game.

No one may post more than one caption for any picture except at times when two days have passed AND six people or less have currently posted a caption. In the event that these conditions are met and somebody does post more than one caption, they may not place twice in that round's judging. If there are ever less than people competing in a round when it comes time to judge, than third and, if necessary, second place will be abolished.

After three-to-six days, or once the amount of captions has died down to nothing (at judge's discretion, though it is generally accepted that twenty-four hours with no captions is long enough), the many or few entries that round will be judged. In judging, the judge will repost the picture, and then post the captions of the people who got first, second, and then third...or third, second, then first, as each judge prefers. Those who place third will earn 1 point for themselves, those in second shall earn three, and those in first shall earn five. Then shall be posted the current scoreboard, updated to reflect any new additions from the round that just finished.

Though suggestions may be made before the fact, none are allowed to complain of the judge's final decision once the round is over. Exceptions may be made if you are semi-seriously talking about your own caption receiving first place.

Once a round is over, whoever won the last round shall then refer to the beginning of these rules so this cycle may continue. If any choose to give up their right to judge, they will still be able to compete in the next round. However, they will not earn any points by doing so.

So that's all settled, and there's only one more thing to worry about before we continue...

The Final Scores
The Grand Triumvirate in Glorious Comic Sans

1st: AProcrastinatingWriter – 81
2nd: Paosheep - 68
3rd: Todd Ingram – 51
4th: deficAnuran - 49
5th: DJ-P0N3 – 43
6th: causticlyOptimitious - 39
7th: avidGamer - 36
8th: MasterBlade - 35
9th: Niall – 28
10th: BenBen – 26
11th: glub - 25
11th: El Ninja Monkey - 25
12th: PriffyViole - 23
13th: DecidedlyDevious – 21
13th: Mister Visceral - 21
14th: Miss_Meg - 19
15th: Coasterman29 - 18
16th: Kabbage – 15
16th: Korporal Kael -15
17th: Bemoan – 14
17th: forkinyoureye - 14
17th: xyxoz – 14
18th: Blaperile - 13
19th: SpearmePlease - 12
19th: Krakash - 12
20th: FrigidPyro - 11
20th: xelada - 11
21th: Murllyshevo – 10
21th: insanityIncarnate - 10
21th: G-Midget - 10
21th: InvaderGIR - 10
22st: Doodled - 9
22st: ragmaan - 9
23nd: audience_cat - 8
23nd: Reecer6 - 8
24rd: Lyngbakr - 7
24rd: Kocel232 - 7
25th: youdont12now – 6
25th: Flare-Dragon - 6
25th: Ario - 6
26th: Ace - 5
26th: Bluesunnyday - 5
26th: wlzrober - 5
26th: Neopie - 5
26th: Kieros - 5
26th: ch00_baka - 5
26th: Magicks - 5
26th: Hierax Dagan - 5
26th: muffinz - 5
27th: Bohandas - 4
27th: Rikushadow - 4
28th: RedCapAvenger - 3
28th: MysteryJack - 3
28th: NullEntropy - 3
28th: Snowyowl - 3
28th: straightfacedgriff - 3
29th: KawaiiMelon - 2
29th: Icosahedrons - 2
30th: plainWonder - 1
30th: SiriusBusiness - 1
30th: Chirality - 1
30th: Cyrus - 1
30th: Elzipper7 - 1
30th: stormnite101 - 1
30th: Deadly920 - 1
30th: CthulhuZuzu - 1
30th: Daniel990 - 1
30th: ectoBiologist – 1
30th: SleepingSeth - 1
30th: Rokenian - 1
30th: Chair_Man - 1
30th: OneTrueSpeeth – 1
30th: Tiiamat – 1
30th: SupahKiven - 1

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

And now, for those of you not privyy to all the hilarious things that went on in the previous thread, allow me to show you in the clearest form I possibly can, in this celebration of

The Best of the Best!
A retelling of the First Caption Competition Thread.

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What's black, white, and full of guts?

This chainsaw when Kanaya's done with you.

NO I DONT WANT TO TAKE A GODDAMN SURVEY!

Unfortunately, after the drug-bust, Snoop Dog and his fans began increasingly to drift apart.

Everyone hates that awkward moment at a tea party where everyone's talking and then someone notices the mutant kitten in the kettle.

DaveJade: Burst out of the puppetcard pile like "the one".

Jade: Have a very slow seizure.

And as you can see, when using the new x-ray 3000, you can see right through Kanaya's dress.

Once again, your shitty tablet saves your drawing as a JPEG. Aw c'mon!

No matter how hard you rub, you'll never wipe BLOODY ROSE MAKEOUTS out of your mind.

You sincerely regret buying that new "Jackson's Brand Premium Fertilizer". Your flowers have been moonwalking back and forth for days now. And they Just. Wont. Stop.

Aradia! She is a man! PUNCH! Wears a purty hat!

The offscreen hood of retrospective regret will have adised you not to wear the hat of reverse drinking.

I'm not even going to try. Everyone took all the good captions.

Welcome to Snowman's parlour, where snark and eye removal services are offered free of charge. If you want the other thing, that's only on Thursdays and by appointment.

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT] at 16:13 --

TG: hey rose
TG: i figured out what that new app does
TG: puppets
TT: That does not seem like a positive review.

If you look really closely at this thing, cross your eyes and squint, you can see a picture of a giraffe!

Open Jade flung my cruxtruder, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
Out there flew a feath'ry asshole of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with squawks of "seppucrow", he perched above my messy floor -
Perched upon a broken toilet just above my messy floor -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

[Room service, you better not be stealing any towels!]

The technique to making Hard-boiled Eggs has been.... lost over the years.

Yeah, Dave and Tavros might like to brag a little, but if you want to see some truly, inarguably, undeniably, pull the plug, dig the grave, call the preacher, terminally ill fires? The only way to satisfy is with a John versus Vriska friendpetetive poetry slam.

Lord above, you hated it when she came over. With Mindfang around, there's nothing to talk about except dice, irons in fires, and slaughter.

You'd rather be alone.

And that day, despite it being inanimate, the dollar bill lost the staring contest.

TG: rose what are you doing
TT: Playing Minecraft of course.
TG: its 4 am
TG: why the fuck are you playing mincraft
TT: Because I've lost control of my life.

A Wild Gamzee has appeared.

What will you do?
- Shoosh
- Pap
- Hug
- Kill

The Handmaid takes blackrom "hitting on" to a new physical level. Ancestor romance sure is weird!

Terezi is an average troll
that no one understands

Karkat, Dave, and BQ always given her commands
'Seer'

Gloom and doom up in her room,
is broken up instantly
by her magic little bitch
who grants her every wish
CAUSE IN REALITY
SHE IS HER GOD MATESPRIT

FAIRLY ODD MATESPRIT

Kids just dont get optical illusions these days.

["Gog damn football game, your taking Problem Sleuth's time slot! I was really looking forward to seeing if he would finally use Sepultritude."]

The imps leaned in, foreheads touching, about to kiss. Suddenly something struck Anpi on the head, rounding about and striking Inpa. It bounced back, striking at Anpi who dodged, but when he finally got back up, his love, his darling Inpa was gone. Shattered into pieces of grist. And the attacker was gone. All he had was her flower rod. He would mourn her for the rest of his very short life.

This is my Librarian Traumatization Device. In addition to what you can see here, the spine is cracked, pages have been torn and taped back together, the ink from the letters has somehow been smudged, and it is always, always, always returned late.

Senator Lemonsnout gazed up into the eyes of the legeslacerator. She had finished her case against him. He would be culled. Two words. Two words came out of his mouth that set the Legeslacerator back, reeling in shock.

"Thank you."

When Lord English wants the best in drycleaning and clothes pressing services, he always goes to Hussie, Paint & Co.

Hussie, Paint & Co. are the leading providers of garment pressing on Earth, Alternia and beyond. Are you ascending to Godhood but don't have a clean hood? Has your spare body taken a turn for the worse but you'd still like to salvage that t-shirt with your symbol on it? Preparing for your grand, demonic entrance into the universe but your servile First Guardian spilt TAB on your best coat? Hussie, Paint & Co. can help!

Hussie, Paint & Co. Breaking the fourth wall to bring you your clothes or your money back.

"Ah, sweet Albus alas our love is forbidden" sighed Merlin, gazing into his eyes he could tell Dumbledore felt the same.
"Hush my love let us have this night, a night of romance, for from tomorrow we may never see each other again!" Dumbledore calmy uttered "We must make this a night to remember. Accio Rose! A present to remember me always by."
Little did he know the "Rose" he called was not a dainty flower (like the man in front of him) but a large yet young girl of whom would soon be ruining the tender moment.

"NO, NO, NO, NO!!! YOU'VE RUINED OUR PERFORMANCE AGAIN, YOU IMCOMPETENT OAF! FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME: I GO ON STAGE AND SAY MY LINES YOU WHILE YOU WAIT BACKSTAGE UNTIL YOU HEAR YOUR... cue."

Your blues song is interrupted as the audience literally cries you a river, washing you and your entire band out of the room and down the hallway.
This would make a good blues song, you think.

As Head of Security and Crowd Control I've seen all the crazies, attention seekers and oddballs we get at NASCAR. I've seen a lady selling WWJD? bracelets made out of her own hair. I've seen a guy chugging motor oil out of a beer hat. I've even seen a group of live action role players dress in medieval clothes, climb over the barrier, run onto the track and attempt to "slay the hydra". We had to spend five hours cleaning pieces of foam sword off the track. Heh! That was an awful afternoon. But these guys? Every year it's the same bunch of repeat offenders.

The Flasher Flash Mob tries to distract every single damn car.

Mr. Glitterbum takes his last gentlemanly pipe smoke before his gentlemanly LETHAL INJECTION.

This is without a doubt the strangest western you've ever seen.

"Aradia, what are you - Aradia, stop, it's not that big a - look, I'm sorry you dropped your ice cream, but you can get another one right there, so just calm your - oh my god, Aradia, are those meteors? I can't believe you! You are such a drama queen! I can't take you anywhere, can I!?"

Dave ground his teeth as he waited for the two to finish their staring contest. The problem was that the diamond dude had no apparent eyelids and Rose is one crazy bitch. All he wanted to do was open his birthday present but these two had to bring their issues to his party!

"Dad," the elf's son said, "I have something I need to tell you. But can we... can we play a game of cards first?"

"Sure, son. Go ahead and deal." The elf picked up his cards. It was mostly junk, but he could probably use the rump to - wait... that rump... "Son, this rump, is it...?"

"I've become a rump model, Dad. Just like... just like you."

The old elf was in shock. Tears were streaming down his face. This was quite possibly the greatest day of his life. "Son, I... I am so proud of you. So, so proud."

Gather weary Dersians,
I have a tale to tell.
It might just save your lives but only if you listen well.
'Cause there before the battlefield
And just around the way,
There's a sign that says,
"Beware The Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Some say he's a bunny a kid put in a box.
He ate so many soldiers, now they flee from him in flocks.
His eyes are red as lasers
His paws, they are like knives.
And if you think he's cuddly, wait 'till you see his insides!

Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Some say he's a rabbit that came straight from hell,
To eat the souls of soldiers and stubborn ne'er-do-wells.
Some they don't believe it, as for me I've got a hunch.
'Cause they used to have some soldiers here.
But he ate them all for lunch!

Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Well, Jacquerel, you've heard of him, he came to Skaia's Bay.
It seems his sexy nemesis had nearly got away.
He lunged down towards Skaia to stab at Snowman.
There was a crunch and a scream!
And now that scurvy Bec Noir’s got neither of his hands!

Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Well, Spinnerette Mindfang, you know for what she's feared.
It's mostly for the way she looked whenever she sneered.
She saw the beast and now nobody's scared of her because,
Her hair fell out and all agree,
She looks ugly as balls!

Oh, don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Well, now the camp town's empty and there's only you and me.
And if you care I'd like to share how this song came to be.
So come a little closer if you really want to know.
This very sad and woeful tale happened so long ago.

Well, I was just a little girl when I went to Skaia's Bay
And there I saw a creature that was very much dismayed.
With a trident in his dorsal fin and a hole shot through his side,
This mighty whale was in such pain, we both began to cry.

I pushed and I shoved, but he wouldn't give way
Into the deeper waters off our shallow Skaia's Bay.
All I could do to help him was to keep soldiers away,
So I wrote a sign that said, "Beware The Beast of Skaia’s Bay!"
And what did it say?

Don't you sail and don't you row and certainly don't you swim,
'Cause if you aren't careful you'll end up inside of him.
He'll eat you up, he'll spit you out. You'd better stay away.
Heed the sign that says, "Beware."
Hell I should know, I put it there!
Heed the sign that says, "Beware the Beast of Skaia's Bay!"

Tonight I'm gonna have myself a real good time
I feel alive and the door it's turning inside out Yeah!
I'm floating around in robot part-ies
So don't stop me now don't stop me
'Cause I'm having a good time having a good time

I'm a shooting knife leaping through the bodies
Like a Guardian defying the laws of gravity
I'm a racing knife cutting through like never before-a
I'm gonna go go go
There's no stopping me

I'm burning through Skaia Yeah!
Using Red Miles
That's why they call me Mister Noirlecrow
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a very dead corpse out of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a bad time just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't want to stop at all

I'm a rocket ship on my way to the Sun
On a collision course
I am a meteor I'm out of control
I am a stab machine ready to reload
Like an ticking Tumor about to
Oh oh oh oh oh explode

I'm burning through Skaia Yeah!
Using Red Miles
That's why they call me Mister Noirlecrow
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a very dead corpse out of you

Don't stop me don't stop me don't stop me
Hey hey hey!
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh ooh (I like it)
Don't stop me have a good time good time
Don't stop me don't stop me
Ooh ooh Alright
I'm burning through Skaia Yeah!
Using Red Miles
That's why they call me Mister Noirlecrow
I'm trav'ling at the speed of light
I wanna make a very dead corpse out of you

Don't stop me now I'm having such a good time
I'm having a ball don't stop me now
If you wanna have a bad time
Just give me a call
Don't stop me now ('Cause I'm having a good time)
Don't stop me now (Yes I'm having a good time)
I don't wanna stop at all

La la la la laaaa
La la la la
La la laa laa laa laaa
La la laa la la la la la laaa hey!!....

He thought it would be a good idea, he was socially inept, was constatntly failing and wooing girls, used to need a wheelchair and wasn't even all a troll with those robot legs, he thought Tavros would be an easy target for teasing. He forgot one thing...
those robo-legs give a painful nut kick.

So long story short it turns out espresso is a stimulant

CG: ... AND THAT'S THE STORY OF HOW MOST OF US DIED. SORRY, JOHN.

So wait, this story involves people drinking bottles of piss, guys falling off of cliffs, and now people trying to bite their arms off?

They should make this an Emmy-nominated movie.

Popcap really went all out for their new Plants Vs Zombies sequel...

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

The Celebration of the Best of the Best Continues!

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There were no survivors.

The question of whether she's turning clockwise or counter-clockwise is hardly a question at all. If you watch closely, you'll see her switch the foot she's - OH SHIT SHE'S ONLY GOT ONE FOOT.

The remake of The Matrix was a really, really weird experience and you'd prefer to not talk about it.

And yet despite all the wonders of Space floating around you, your eyes cannot help but remain transfixed upon the pilot's mustache.

It is glorious.

Little did John know, halfway across the country Liv Tyler was doing the exact same thing with a poster of him.

Slave in the magic glasses, come from the farthest space, through wind and darkness I summon thee. Speak! Let me see thy face.

What wouldst thou know, my Queen?

Magic glasses on my eyes, who is the fairest one of all?

Famed is thy beauty, Majesty. But hold, a lovely knight I see. Glasses cannot hide his ironic grace. Alas, he is more fair than thee.

Alas for him! Reveal his name.

Eyes red as the sun. Hair and skin white as snow. More of him around than one can count.

STRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEEEEEER!!!!

When I heard that you started referring to role-playing as a troll on the internet as "troll-playing", I face-palmed so hard I knocked my eyes out of their sockets and into my mouth.

I'm still picking bits of cornea out of my teeth.

PI watches the oncoming squiddle butt approach him.

He was not so sure he wanted to be tangle buddies anymore.

Early attempts at portal technology were met with some criticism. Specifically, why one end of the portal had to look like a cloud, and the other end like a murderous tattered clown dog.

Dave was horrorstruck upon realizing he'd used the word "everypony" instead of "everybody" in casual conversation.

I whip my heir back and forth

John and Jade were awestruck by Lord English's pool skills.

Dirk held his own bronycon, where everyone and everything just stared at Rainbow Dash's Wubwubwoo face. For five hours.

Your name is ROSE LALONDE. Holy HELL do you hate CANADIANS.

Even on Derse, Dad would go to any lengths to save Pony Pals from the explosion.

You are amazed at the fact the roof is high enough for that sword.

You spill some of your mother's alcoholic beverage on you by accident. By instinct you reach for the nearest thing to wipe it off.
As you realize what you are reaching for, you are overwhelmed by the days of the war, when this sash represented everything you once believed was right, and....humane.

The blots on your shirt begin to mix with the tears of a year long, long ago and you take the lonely road known only as Memory Lane...

You really hate it when your wife comes home in a bad mood.

Hussie proceeded to flip out after receiving his very own Doc Scratch Doll. Then he realized it was missing it's pants.

Unfortunately for Roxy, she could not, in fact, limbo that low.

Unfortunately for Jack, he couldn't limbo that low, either.

So I'm confused; does this mean we get six more weeks of winter or...?

KARTAT 1: STOP PRETENDING TO BE ME, YOU FUCKASSES!
KARKAT 1: IM THE REAL KARKAT
KARKAT 2: NO IM THE REAL KARKAT
KARKAT 3: NO I AM! YOU'RE ALL THE FUCKASSES PRETENDING TO ME BE!
KARKAT 4: IM THE REAL KARKAT, YOU PRICKS! NOW WHY ARE THERE POSTERS OF HUMAN MOVIES IN HERE?
KARKAT 1, 2, 3, 5...: UHH

No Gamzee, thats not how grand highbloods paint the walls with blood.

Everybody out of the damn way! You've got a fist full of pistols, a pony full of Dave, and a test tube full of god-knows-what!

They made him a member of the Midnight Crew.

And promtly tossed him off a cliff.

Hussie just chucked the gun off the building. Didn't matter where it would've landed since HE WAS ALREADY tHERE.

thats is not actually Karkat's hand.

Trolls have 3 toed feet.

The more you touch it the more it knows

As far as originality goes, this is probably the most creative cosplay you've ever seen, and the craftmanship is absolutely superb... but you just can't figure out why they didn't hide the giant zipper down the front.

You make a mental note to remind Rose that putting faces on her unspeakable horrors to make them less intimidating only works if those faces are happy and smiling, and not screaming a thousand silent agonies.

The pink lightning, however, is awesome. If nothing else, you have to give her props for style.

It was then, looking at the perspective of the tail compared to everything behind it, that everyone realized just how tiny Jaspersprite was.

After Jack escaped, the Prospitians decided the key looked lonely in there, so the Queen commissioned the finest artisans in the land to craft this lifesize replica to keep it company.

Within a week, it too had escaped.

MrsBroccoli: No, Mr.Candycorn, I expect you to DIE!

Just before he could stab Bro, Jack's bungee cord ran out and he shot back to Derse.

It's all fun and games until someone thinks it's a good idea to play Mario Party.

This is the result of only 5 minutes in.

My god, its beautiful. Hundreds of Millions of pieces of sweet sweet candy, all your's for the take. Now, to just collect... wait...
Is that a vending machine gumball?
Damnit, they're all vending machine gumballs! Now it's ruined. RUINED!

Slick doesn't get invited to play paintball anymore.

uu: NOW MAKE THE ROSE HuMAN TOuCH THE EYELESS HOOFBEAST IN AFFECTION
TT: You got it dude.
TT: How's this?
uu: *OHHHHHHHH*

You swear that Japanese vending machines give you the weirdest shit.

That's it, you've had enough. You were just hit with a bunch of miscellaneous household crap, some giant alchemy stand just landed right next to you, and now a large salamander with a bunny, some evil clowns, and a robot version of your owner are all closing in on you.

You retreat to the relative safety of the sylladex.

All that, and you still have a killer toothache. You are beginning to think you might need a new dentist.

And that is why people wear restraints on roller coasters.

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CAREFUL JADE I KNOW THAT IT'S BLENDING IN REALLY WELL WITH ALL THE STUFFED ANIMALS BUT I THINK THAT GIANT WOLF WANTS TO EAT YOU

Jake looks through Andrew Hussie's OLD PORN STASH.

It's good to see that Marc Webb isn't afraid to take the new Spider-Man movie in exciting new directions.

It was Game 5 of the final round of the annual Set tournament, and PS was still contemplating the 3-solid-green-squiggles, 2-striped-red-squiggles, 1-striped-purple-squiggle foul that had cost him Game 4. Advantage: Microwave.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

Wrapping up the Best of the Best Party
The first thread's legacy will never be forgotten

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The PSA was going great until someone replaced the sugar with crystal meth.

It never occurred to you how you are staring at your own head that you had just pulled off...

"You can't weasel your way out of this one," they said. Bitch, I just weaseled OUT OF THAT FUCKING UNIVERSE

Your stage adaptation of Final Fantasy X was...less than successful.

Dave opens up a Celebratory Beverage after completing his greatest feat of irony yet: taking a flock of potty-trained birds and teaching them not to use the toilet.

Happy hour at the local leper colony has never exactly been the most fun time for teenage volunteers.

...alright, Mister Visceral, if you would please now post your picture for us!

...and everyone else...for some reason, the poll did not activate in my first post, so if you could please let us know alongside the caption what your decision is: keep the scoreboard around or start things over? My personal vote is:

Start things over with the new thread: 1
Keep the old scoreboard running: 0

[Mister Visceral]

So happy to start this thread. :')

EDIT: I'd be totes alright with a score reset.

[AmberIce]

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Resetting the scoreboard sounds alright to me.

You think back to that fateful day when your beloved DAD passed away due to a fatal overdose of VARIOUS INHALANTS.

[Xyxoz]

EB: Dab?
EB: Dab, wha ah yah duing?

[Psychout]

You didn't know your father had a foot fetish, and honestly, you really didn't want to.

[El Ninja Monkey]

It wasn't very surprising the alcohol stained scarf and brand new thread's smells were one and the same.

[forkinyoureye]

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Reset it.

Did you know it was against the law to smell the Queen's scarf? This guy sure didn't.

[causelessCogitation]

No one could explain why John's dad had decided it would be a good idea to sniff the tongue of a three-toothed monster.

[kabbage]

Look out!
Look out!
Pink elephants on parade!
Here they come!
Hippity hoppity!
They're here!
And there!
Pink Elephants everywhere!
Look out!
Look out!
They're coming out of dad's nose!
On their toes!
Clippity cloppity!
Arrayed!
In braid!
Pink elephants on parade!

[SupahKiven]

The tracker dad had received the scent, there was no way he could fail now.

[ExKirby]

Dad wasn't trying to sniff the scarf. Secretly, THE SCARF WAS TRYING TO SNIFF HIM.

...I'll be in this corner...

[Flare-Dragon]

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I'm all for a reset myself

This is what happens when you eat fairy floss and your best friends tells you an amazing joke. You spend the next 3 hours sniffing it back in or wiping it off with your sticky hands

[BenBen]

What am I looking at here? When was this canon?

[Druplesnubb]

You really need to stop sniffing bubblegum, but addiction is a powerful thing.

[Todd Ingram]

After that year's Senior Prom, they started looking into the mental records of the parents they hired to check at the door if anyone was drunk.



[Reset it, but have the scoreboard from the previous thread in the OP]

[BlackholePA]

LEGAL NOTICE: TRAINED STUNTMAN AT WORK. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO INGEST CANDYFLOSS NASALLY.

[Blaperile]

Ah, you love the smell of the previous thread more. It was longer after all. This is a very short one. Fortunately, it will grow in time. Like all magical threads do.

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I vote for a new scoreboard, but putting the old one in the OP as well.

[Ario]

Thankfully, the scarf did not have chloroform on it, so dad could continue his secret mission.

[InvaderGIR]

After the scratch, Dad had lost more than his memories. He lost her. He didn't know who she was or why he missed her, but he did. He tried to put it behind him, though. After all, he was a father now. Raising Jane was no easy task, but if anything from his past life came through it was his parenting skills, no matter how much work they needed. Still, they got by. And until that day, everything was well. That day, Jane was taken away from him. He searched for her, not knowing that she was following behind. Eventually he ended up on Skaia, where he heard a voice. He ran towards it, thinking it sounded familiar, but quickly realised it wasn't the voice of Jane, and broke down crying. Why did this happen? Why did he lose her? Why couldn't he protect her? Why couldn't someone...? ...She needed a mom. It was a simple enough thought, but he couldn't think about why that meant so much. At that point, the voice he heard earlier came over to him. When she saw him crying, she didn't know what to say, so she just handed him a scarf she found so that he could dry his eyes and blow his nose. He buried his face into the scarf, doing just that. But then he just held it up to his nose and sniffed - perhaps to clean his sinuses or perhaps just to smell it. Something stirred in his mind. He looked to the girl. "Are you Jane's friend?" "Yes." Dad hugged Roxy as if she were his own daughter.
At that moment, he knew Jane would be ok.

[Paosheep]

He brought the scarf closer to his nose and sniffed deeply. The scent was faint, but he was sure he recognized it. It almost smelled like... yes, yes, like...

Zoosmell.

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Concerning Awesome Best of Best Posts: They are awesome, APW! Just thought you should know.

Concerning Scores: I like resetting them. Posting the old scores in the OP would be neat, too, or you could just slap up a link to the first thread. But regardless: Resetting scores is an awesome idea.

[causticlyOptimitious]

At long last, you pull yourself over the last hump and collapse on the summit of the strange pink rock formation. Long has this odd spire dominated to landscape by your people, and here you are, the first graysnake in the world to have conquered its heights.

However, your jubilations are quickly interrupted by a massive earthquake as an even larger, dull red mountain rises from the surface beyond. Peering up at it, you see the form of another, riding it to the heavens like a mechanical bull. No. No, this cant be! This was supposed to be your glorious moment of triumph! You can think of only one person who could be responsible for this travesty. Filling your lungs, you rear back and let loose a guttural cry of defiance: SNIIIIIIIIIIIFFFFFFFF!!!!

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

This is simultaneously the most and the least sexy pajama party you have ever been to.