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Thread: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    Welcome to Skaia Research Ltd., home of the award-winning best-in-class unique unusual hijinks of the developers who patch Sburb.

    Wait, no, not the kind of developers you're used to. More like... oh, let's say Troubleshooters? Experience in Sburb is technically optional, but highly recommended, since there is physical combat involved. For our Admins, especially; since Admins are required to do all the legwork in regards to the largest villains and greatest plotlines that Skaianet sees on a regular basis.

    Thread 1 Villain: Itchy [status: deceased]

    Thread 2 Villain: God-Tier Ultimate Grey King of Skaianet [status: Scratched]

    Thread 3 Villain: TBA

    Post 2 of this thread is the Skaianet Employee Directory.
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    Previous thread: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...than-the-Sword
    …and before that: http://www.mspaforums.com/showthread...RB-patch-notes

    The Skaia Research Employee Directory is located at http://swiki.wikkii.com/wiki/Category:People. The rest of the wiki may be used for documentation purposes if we grow larger, but for now, this is the only piece that we're using.

    The Skaia Research IRC is located at irc://irc.skaia.net/#patchnotes (OOC) and irc://irc.skaia.net/#patchers (IC). Alternate access (no IRC client required) is located at http://mibbit.com/?channel=%23patchn...=irc.skaia.net.

    A collaborative notepad suitable for working out extensive posts is located at http://infinitypedia.ath.cx/pad/p/sburb.

    A TVTropes page is located at http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...burbPatchNotes.

    Signature banners:


    ----

    The following items are assigned to each trainee as they come in, assuming they do not already have them:

    * Sylladex with eight cards, "basic" model (data structure sylladices such as array, ring, stack, and queue; other ones are available for a small fee)
    * Strife deck with two cards (two -kinds). If trainees do not already have an assigned kind abstratus, they are given a low-level weapon of the kind abstratus of their choice. Those who have no preference get fancysantakind.
    * Six copies of the standard uniform, correct size, including underclothing
    * Linens and towels (Note: Dormitories have basic janitorial/maid service: emptying trash cans, washing clothes and linens, vacuuming, cleaning spills and restrooms.)
    * Cubicle, and computer. Probably an older one, but good enough.

    ----

    Admins get their own actual offices, but they also sleep inside their offices rather than the dormitories. Offices vary in shape, size, and furnishing; since the admins do quite a bit more for the company, the perks are correspondingly greater.

    Food is available in most cafeterias, of a variety great enough that anyone from nearly any world will eventually find something he/she/garyale likes.

    If an employee wishes to go home "after work" (not that there is such a thing, technically, time being what it is in the vicinity of hundreds of Time-powered players), that can be arranged. It is a very rare thing though, and nobody really calibrates the "home" transportalizers to time properly, so there's generally shenanigans involved there, as well. Not lying to your partner about where you work is highly recommended.

    Death is not permanent in this setting, as employees can be saved and restored in regular "backups". Loss of memories created since the last backup is common; permadeath is extremely uncommon, as if someone is missing for long enough they are automatically revived. "Missing" players tend to be inside the code, in pocket dimensions built upon pocket dimensions inside pocket dimensions trying to search out particularly weird bugs.

    Or inside Skaia Research itself, for that matter. Currently the complex is rebuilding, but the previous floorplan was notorious for its recursive, fractal complexity. Programmable multi-destination transportalizers are the only way to get anywhere, as it's frighteningly easy to get lost in the corridors.

    ----

    It's your choice how any particular character is affected by the setting, or whether they are a trainee, employee, or admin. Just be aware the admins get to participate in all the cool plots, but at the same time they are also most adherent to the Skaian philosophy, which goes something like this:

    It is a good thing to kill worlds to spawn universes, but it is wrong to spare the world that you would have killed to spawn a universe, for each good requires a sacrifice. Therefore, Sburb is the ultimate expression of good, but only if it tests the players fairly and sufficiently, and only while there is no mechanism for preserving or recreating one's home planet.

    Twisted? Yes. But they really do believe. Just ask Kira, she'll fix it for you if you don't already subscribe to such a philosophy. She'll fix it with mind control.

    Sweet dreams.
    Last edited by CJ Miller; 05-24-2013 at 10:25 PM.
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    I wanna come down right now... Bluesunnyday's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    A young man appears suddenly in the Skaianet offices. His AMS Derringers are held out, and currently putting a shitton of bullets into the wall in front of him.

    DD: DIE DIE DIE YOU SP/-\CE PK B/-\ST/-\RD DIE DIE DI-

    The young man suddenly realizes he's not fighting the asshole Lord of Space that had killed the shit out of all of his team-mates. Had he been teleported by that dickcheese or something? The young man lowers his guns.

    DD: Ok/-\y, where the hell /-\m I?
    Last edited by Bluesunnyday; 07-24-2012 at 12:02 AM.

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    A black-haired, black-eyed Gardevoir stands before the man with the Derringers, phased slightly perpendicular to 3-space so she is not affected by the trigger-happy erstwhile player.

    “You are in the offices of Skaia Research Ltd. How can I help you?”
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    I wanna come down right now... Bluesunnyday's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    The young man looks at the Gardevoir for a moment. His face seems pretty darn calm.

    DD: I /-\lw/-\ys figured I'd run into the guys who designed this... THING.

    The young man sighs.

    DD: /-\t the very least, I'm not dead from a f/-\ncy s/-\nt/-\ to the neck...
    DD: I'm D/-\vid Lewis. Who would you h/-\ppen to be and why the hell /-\m I here?

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    Kira, wearing an MMA T-shirt and blue jeans, phases back into 3-space and extends a three-fingered hand.

    “Nice to meet you, David. I'm Kira Matsumoto, and as for why the hell are you here, that's a very good question. What were you doing right before you came here?”
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    I wanna come down right now... Bluesunnyday's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    DD: Fighting our session's Lord of Sp/-\ce. He went on /-\ PK r/-\mp/-\ge. Kept using their powers to do stuff like chop people's he/-\ds into two, right through the middle. It w/-\s /-\ m/-\ss/-\cre...
    DD: Then I went to FIGHT him... I got my /-\ss h/-\nded to me. Turns out being /-\ Knight of Ports doesn't do j/-\ck shit when you're fighting the Knight's older brother /-\ND the Ports /-\spect's older brother...
    Last edited by Bluesunnyday; 07-24-2012 at 12:27 AM.

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    Kira frowns and hugs David tightly.
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    David just accepts the hug. The tears are flowing freely now...

    DD: The worst p/-\rt is the consorts... They he/-\r /-\bout wh/-\t the b/-\st/-\rd did... They just went on like...

    David puts on a very accurate impression of a Turtle consort. Very deep, yet childish at the same time.

    DD: But... Doesn't the Knight keep people s/-\fe? How could the other heroes be de/-\d?

    David sobs loudly.

    DD: They just kept going on /-\bout it... They didn't know wh/-\t they were doing...
    DD: But th/-\t w/-\s my job... Protect and fight through port/-\ls...
    DD: Guess I'm the suckiest Knight of Ports to ever exist...

  10. #10
    Juror of Might Assassin of Deadpan's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    *Patched a glitch from an old version that resurfaced; allowed for entry without any sort of prototyping.
    *Removed any sort of fanwork from list of possible alchemizations. Complaints rose from a few dozens of sessions.

    IM: If I get sent another email with a photo attachment of a NarutoOCsprite I am going to kick an imp several times.
    Pesterchum Handle: ubiquitousAssassin

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    * Reversed patch banning fanwork alchemisation. 497 sessions saved from Scratch.

    —————

    “Do not worry, there has been far worse than you, and you can only go up from here.”
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    DD: Just... God... He killed EVERYONE... My friends... all the consorts... My girlfriend...

    David just keeps on crying. Seems he's pretty damned depressed...

  13. #13
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    * Fixed a glitch where game constructs and concepts were introduced and used before players entered the game. The universe and session where this happened have been scratched.
    ** To the players Madoka Kaname, Homura Akemi, Sayaka Miki, Mami Tomoe, and Kyoko Sakura, this means you now don't have to worry about the Incubators or fighting witches/demons/whatever until you enter your session at the very least. Of course, any powers that you may have gained beforehand have been removed.
    *** This means you are no longer God-Tier, Madoka. I don't care if this prevents you from helping miserable adolescent girls, there are worse things than turning into a witch. Just be thankful that you're back within the normal space-time continuum.
    **** Same goes to you Homura. No more time stopping/reversal until you enter the game.

    IM: I've set up the session with the other sessions monitered by the Horrorterrors. They have the potential to be assets to Skaianet, but they also have the potential to turn into adolescent Horrorterrors. They'll need all the help they can get if they become the later.

    IM: Now if you'll excuse me, I have some so called 'Incubators' I need to deal with. Game aspects shouldn't be abused like that when not in a Session, it was giving their Universe/Genesis Frog cancer. Also the fact that they have been able to do so in the first place shouldn't have happened.

    IM: Someone should check some of the other planets that would have Sessions on them for tampering as well.

  14. #14
    Juror of Might Assassin of Deadpan's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    *Added Censorship Option for all sprites prototyped with items or beings with known foul mouth tendancies. Feature not applied to select possible prototypings as such features will render them unintelligible.
    *Calibration updates for art-based sylladexes are now available for download.

    ---

    IM: I was busy looking up potential hazards regarding the worlds scheduled for a session and my lunch got stolen. Has anyone seen a red box that smells like chow mein? I swear to god Ronnie if you took my lunch I will mess with your files with my fist.
    Last edited by Assassin of Deadpan; 07-24-2012 at 05:49 AM.
    Pesterchum Handle: ubiquitousAssassin

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    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    "Now what the fresh hell's going on here?"

    A young man, sporting a pair of glasses, an unruly mop of dark brown hair, and green eyes walks in. He is wearing seemingly normal clothing; a t-shirt alchemised with his God-Tier Knight of Surge outfit, black jeans, and a dark grey jacket. He also wears a pair of black headphones, and upon his belt is one red and white ball. He looks over at Kira - she had come in recently, alongside a singular SHODAN-class security bot from a rift in the multiverse. Management granted her a job at a high-up position after hearing her story out for some reason.

    "I heard gunfire from my office, and - oh, hello there!"

    He looks the fellow with the derringers over, considering him. He sees the tears in his eyes - a sign of a bad session - and puts a hand on his shoulder.

    "Let me guess; something went bad? Listen, we're here for you. I'm Darren Kopton, one of the Moderators here at Skaia Research. Come with me, we'll get you sorted out with somewhere to be."

    ((OOC:))
    Last edited by JustAnotherUser; 08-08-2012 at 05:36 PM.

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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    David just nods, breaks the hug, and walks over to Daniel.

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    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    Kira walks over to Darren, extending a hand.

    “Nice to meet you, Darren. I'm Kira Matsumoto.”
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

  18. #18
    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    "Ah yes, we never properly met, did we? It's a pleasure, Miss Matsumoto."

    He shakes her hand, then leads David off. The route they take is a long, winding one, through various corridors and rooms, and a sea of cubicles and humming computers. There are different rooms for different lifeforms - low gravity rooms, high gravity rooms, extra-dimensional rooms ("Try not to think too hard about this place, your head may well explode.") - even one mostly filled by a writhing mass of horrible, terrible tentacles. Darren stopped briefly upon a roar from it.

    "Calm down, G'pobynum. Your football pool winnings will get here eventually." He turns to David and shrugs. "Horrorterrors. No patience, any of them. C'mon, we're nearly there."

    Not too long after, they reach a large room, sort of like a lobby. On one side, a transportaliser, and on the other, a desk with a receptionist sat behind it - the girl gives Darren a friendly nod, which he returns. Several chairs are at the walls, with a small table for each one. Darren turns to the Knight of Ports.

    "Alright, this is our lobby - the place we normally find people who've found us. Now, you have two choices here; you either take the transportaliser back from whence you came, be it a session or otherwise, or you talk to Janet over there and apply for a job here. You don't need to be able to code; we also have openings for Security, Catering, Janitorial Staff, IT Repairs, Direct Session Intervention, Administration, et cetera; you can find out more by asking Janet. I'd love to stick around, but I'm working on a patch at present. Whatever you choose, I hope the best for you. If you decide to stay, I'll see you around."

    With that, he turns and goes out, getting back to work, and leaving David to make his decision.

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    I wanna come down right now... Bluesunnyday's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    David doesn't take long to think. He signs up for a Security position right away. With his manipulation of portals and his unlimited ammo derringers, he feels that he'd be more than capable for the position. He's approved after a standard screening for SBURB mental disorders such as Knight Syndrome or Pumpkin Cravings, and sent on his way with a download of the IM system on his hands-free computing device of choice.

    IM: Hello everyone, David Lewis, Knight of Ports and new member of the security team here! I hope to keep everything safe!

  20. #20
    Knight of Breath JustAnotherUser's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    IM: Glad to see you made the good choice, David. I'll have a trainee security schedule written up for you by tomorrow morning; in the mean time, why not have a look around the premises? It'll help you to get to know the staff better.

    There is about a five-second pause, and then;

    IM2: Oh yes, don't forget to pick up your new belongings - down the hall, 7th left. No, the uniform is not mandatory, but the staff badge is.

    ----
    *Skaian defence portals will now hold out for 3% longer than previously.
    *Meteors now travel 1.5% slower than previously.
    Last edited by JustAnotherUser; 07-26-2012 at 05:33 AM.

  21. #21
    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    A seven-foot-tall gynoid with silicon carbide armour and a cybernetic scorpion tail walks over to David.

    “Greetings, Mr Lewis. I am SHODAN, and I have been tasked with defending Skaia Research.”
    Last edited by CJ Miller; 07-26-2012 at 07:53 PM.
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

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    I wanna come down right now... Bluesunnyday's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    "Nice to meet you, SHOD/-\N."

    David looks at his AMS derringers.

    "Um, hey, you h/-\ve /-\lchemiting stuff, right? I think these guns /-\re due for /-\n upgr/-\de..."

  23. #23
    makuta's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    * Lowered the cost of Alchemizing healing items by 2%.

  24. #24
    Keimar Safirai! CJ Miller's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    “Yes. Follow Me.”

    SHODAN leads David to an alchemisation room.
    I'm always looking for people for my micronation, Safiria, a great star empire featuring dragons, psychic powers, and sports. If you're interested, look here.

  25. #25
    makuta's Avatar
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    Re: SBURB Patch Notes III: New Digs

    IM: Uh, hey, guys?

    IM: Lord English found another Dream Bubble.

    IM: It's gone now.

    IM: I couldn't save anyone.

    IM: I'm sorry.

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