RPGStuck

[InfernalWarrior]

RPGStuck is a comic about some kids and a game they play. It parodies RPGs and other famous series of games and movies, mainly Final Fantasy, Pokemon, and Portal.

CHARACTER LIST

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Valius McBanshee- a Warrior (battlewornAnnihilator)
Candy Kornne, a Thief (filchingMercenary)
Abel Ezrac, a Black Mage (zealousDestroyer)

A young man stands in his room. It is not his birthday, unsurprisingly, since there is only a 1/365 chance of the day actually being that day. Today, however, he will receive a name.

You must answer the question.

What will this young man's name be?

[causticlyOptimitious]

> Valius McHeropants

[InfernalWarrior]

> Valius McHeropants

By Jegus, can't you even come up with something mildly original? How sad.

>Stop being a smartass

Much better.

==>


Your name is VALIUS MCBANSHEE.

You recently signed up along with your friends to play the new game QUEST, in which you have chosen the class of WARRIOR. You think that WARRIORS are just swell. All those years of playing FINAL FANTASY will finally pay off, especially since you spent MANY PAINSTAKING HOURS crafting this wonderful costume out of LEATHER and STEEL.

You have many INTERESTS, which include VIDEO GAMING, SWORD FIGHTING, and DRAWING. You have an innumerable amount (about four) of INEXPLICABLY SH*TTY SWORDS strewn across the confines of your room. You can draw better than most people, but your TALENTS extend only to drawing CREATURES and OTHER ASSORTED MONSTERS. You also like to KILL things.

A CAKE seems to be placed on your bed. It probably is just a LIE.

Your QUEST username is battlewornAnnihilator, and you speak with impeccable spelling ninety-five percent of the teim.

[Absol]

>Valius: Actually be the pikachu.

[InfernalWarrior]

>Valius: Actually be the pikachu

You cannot be the Pikachu because you are you and you cannot project yourself into the Pikachu doll. That Pikachu is special to you, it was given to your sister by her friend, who in turn
gave it to you since she isn't that crazy about Pokemon.

You figure if you are going to actually get around and play this game you should at least maybe pack or something. You've heard it's a bit like Sburb as that it is IRL. You never cared for Sburb, it looked stupid at first. In retrospect, you kind of regret not getting that free copy, but it's too late now. Sucker.

[Lieutenant Fish]

>Watch some Chinese cartoons

[Loather of Irk]

INEXPLICABLY SH*TTY SWORDS: Immediately shatter because you're nothing more than bits of fluff held together with the solidified piss of a thousand brony monks who subsist entirely upon social awkwardness and weed

[Absol]

>Eat your cake.

[InfernalWarrior]

>Valius: Eat your cake

You proceed whole-heartedly to your BED. On it lies the most perfect slice of cake that you have ever seen.

>Valius: Reach in for the kill

You lean your face in towards the cake. You're a WARRIOR after all. Do WARRIORS eat with utensils?

YOU THINK NOT.

>Valius: Just bite into the damn cake already!

==>

Damn hologram. You think you hear faint, robotic, maniacal laughter in the distance.

Oh well, the cake was probably Betty Crocker anyways.

>Valius: Weep

TEARS stream down your face as the knife of betrayal stings in your back. These wounds have been cut deep, man, they've been cut deep.

>Valius: Watch some Chinese Cartoons

You sit down at your computer and click on Netflix. You begin watching some retarded cartoon about a Chinese potato when a friend begins to message you.
DAMMIT why can't your friends leave you alone?

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Yup. BEEG update

[Uniquoi]

>Realize that Warriors are probably the most boring and unoriginal class in the history of RPGs

[Kíeros]

> Ignore your friend and go back to the cartoons.

[InfernalWarrior]

>Realize that Warriors are probably the most boring and unoriginal class in the history of RPGs

What the hell are you talking about? You need to go get a life. Of COURSE warriors are the best class EVER. THEY HAVE SWORDS. SWORDS.

You just got a brilliant idea for a new weapon called the sword-chuck. No one else EVER has thought of this amazing idea. You don't know why you never thought of it before.

OH DAMMIT COMPUTER SHUT UP STOP BEEPING

[Uniquoi]

>Examine magazine placed on your desk.

[InfernalWarrior]

>Examine magazine placed on your desk.

On your desk there is a Game Bro magazine, a manuscript for a children's book you wrote, and a Pokedex. The magazine you haven't really read yet, and you never will. The other two items are pure gold and you love them very much. For some reason, though, no one will accept your manuscript for this obviously amazing story! So, so sad. Maybe it needs to rhyme.

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Probably my last update today.

[Kíeros]

> Resubmit the story as this:

Timmy was walking along one day,
Heading to a house who needed to pay.
He went up nervously, and knocked at the door,
Nervously waiting for the giant boor.

"Hello" he cried out, as the door did not creak,
But suddenly came the person he'd seek.
"What the hell do you want" the man said like a cow
"I want my pet rock, and I want it now!

"You had no right to steal him away from me so!"
"Well, why's that? It came right through my window.
I'm not going to give you your stupid rock back"
And with that, he laughed a laugh of pure black.

Timmy knew that the man could not be reasoned with.
He went through his plans, and came up with his fifth.
He knew that is was a plan he abhorred,
But it had to be done, so he pulled out his sword.

And then with a swish, off came his head.
The man now was unquestionably dead.
He went inside, to recover his rock,
and then a thought hit him with a giant shock.

"It's dinner time now, I must head back now."
But when he returned, there was trouble, and how!
For all of his family lay dead in a row,
for an apocalypse happened, with a two second potato.

[Absol]

>Use the pokedex on yourself to find your spirit pokemon!

[Zizou]

> Make an origami hat with the gamebro magazine

[InfernalWarrior]

>Valius: Make an origami hat with the gamebro magazine

THIS IS THE BEST IDEA EVER.

After swordchucks, at least.

>Valius: Rewrite Wonderful Story in poetry

Nah.

[Zizou]

>NAme the pokedex steve
>Steve: analyze pikachu plushie

[Absol]

>Pikachu: Actually be a Zubat.

[InfernalWarrior]

>Valius: Use Pokedex to analyze Pikachu plushie

==>

What the hell just happened there?

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For all the interested parties, the crappy art in the second panel was intentional.

[Lieutenant Fish]

>>Looks like you've been had! Them bleedin' grifters made off with the capital and pulled the wool over your eyes! You've been swamp-walloped up to montana and back, palerooski! You've been hogwashed and whitewashed and now there's a big ol' carrot-cake where your goat used to be! How does it feel, dogg? You're a laughing stock in the jazz scene now, dad.

[Kíeros]

> Escape the zubat that's obviously coming right towards your face.

[Gana0]

Grifters: Laugh at the swamp-walloped jazz-scene.

[InfernalWarrior]

>[G] Valius: Attack the zubat!

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--If this doesn't work again, i have one more backup strategy. Download the file below and extract it onto the desktop, and drag the Game.exe into it. Then open it.--

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