Ripe for Conquest

[Gelatino]

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This is my first adventure. I have some experience in writing fan fiction, so I'm confident in my story-telling skills, and I'm hoping that my graphic design skills will prove adequate. No matter how much meandering and tomfoolery takes place in this story, I can assure you that there is indeed a plot taking shape, so I hope you will be along for the ride when I finally get there. Thank you for reading and I sincerely hope you enjoy.

ATTENTION NEW READERS: If you want to get caught up on the story before posting suggestions, I suggest you read the mirror. That is the way the story is meant to be read.

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Fan art:

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By Nighzmarquls:

MIRROR
MUSEUM

Ripe for Conquest



Well, what have we here? A young lad stands in a... actually, where are you, anyway? And why are you just... standing there? Before delving into some of those mysteries, let's start with something simple: what is your name?

[ThunderJolt]

> Blobface McNoodle

[Drillgorg]

> Barles Charkley

[Knight_of_Hide]

> Chalk Drabhat

[BeckyRawr]

>Antony Wrigglesworth

[Gelatino]

> Enter Name



What? Is that supposed to be funny? That doesn't even make sense. That name is dumb. You're dumb.

Try again!

[Loather of Irk]

Noodle McBlobface

[Absol]

>Bruce Wayne

[Chickenspleen]

>Damon Gilson

[Gelatino]

> Try again



That's more like it!

> Examine room



Your name is DAMON CHARKLEY. You work at a HABERDASHERY specializing in HEADGEAR and MEN'S ACCESSORIES. You also live in the same building. You are an APPRENTICE under the most highly esteemed haberdasher in the city. However, right now, the store is closed for the day. You spend most of your time peddling HEADGEAR and MEN'S ACCESSORIES, but in your free time, you often retire to your BEDROOM to indulge your various INTERESTS and communicate with your FRIENDS and ACQUAINTANCES.

Now that the store is closed, you should be able to return to your BEDROOM soon. However, your MASTER keeps you locked down here in the store to ensure that you never slack off, and he should be here soon to let you upstairs. Until then, let's take this time to explore the HABERDASHERY.

What will you do?

[oshawott]

Fix your entirly too creepy smile and concur the throne of king juan el bobo

[jahw]

Don mustache' and monocle

[Kíeros]

> Walk around aimlessly, pointing out objects as you go along.

[Gelatino]

> Don mustache and monocle



Looks like our little tour starts with the MANNEQUINS. These are on display to promote the newest fashion trends. Technically, you shouldn't really be touching this stuff since it's for the customers and your MASTER would have your head if he saw you messing with it. However, your latent mischievous nature gets the better of you and you decide one quick try couldn't hurt.

You don the FAKE MUSTACHE and MONOCLE. You also swipe the GENTLEMAN'S BOWTIE while you're at it. You suddenly feel like the most distinguished of gentlemen. You better put this stuff back before your MASTER gets here.

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> Walk around aimlessly, pointing out objects as you go along.

Well, that wouldn't be very fun, would it? I always like to compare MS paint adventures to real text adventure games to maintain the realism aspect of the game. The closest one I know is Homestar Runner's Peasant Quest and submitting a command like that is analogous to starting Peasant Quest and saying "Kill Trogdor" right from the beginning. That's a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.

[Knight_of_Hide]

> Overturn carpet

[Drillgorg]

> Damon: Lose interest in hats and never speak of them again.

(reference)

[BeckyRawr]

> Try on everything in the store simultaneously

[Gelatino]

> Overturn carpet



Good Lord, this is disgusting! You really wish you hadn't done that.

While we're here, and since we're hopefully never going to look under here again, let's take a quick inventory. Let's see... there is an unidentified FUNGUS growing over there, and it looks pretty healthy. On the other side, there's some... DIRT? A DUST BUNNY? Maybe some VOMIT? It's kind of hard to tell. And... oh God, is that a BANANA SLUG? You have a friend that would probably be excited by this rare fauna, but you'd really just rather forget about it. Judging from the discoloration on the floor and the stable ecosystem developing under here, you make the assumption that this area hasn't been cleaned in decades.

Actually, that assumption isn't really so far-fetched. As long as you've been alive, the layout of this store hasn't changed in the least. Your MASTER is known to be a creature of habit. Who knows how many other FESTERING CESSPOOLS are waiting to reveal themselves to you.

[BeckyRawr]

> Take a picture of the banana slug and send it to your friend, make him/her jelly of your discovery.

[jahw]

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Woot! Trogdor! H*R is the best and bascially defined my grade school life.

Put the mushrooms in whatever inventory system you use in this world.

[Gelatino]

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Woot! Trogdor! H*R is the best and bascially defined my grade school life.

Same here, man. Same here.

> Add mushrooms to inventory



You're probably going to regret this, but...

You add the FUNGUS to your HATVENTORY. It's like an inventory, but the number of items you can hold is based on the size of your hat.

You take the BANANA SLUG too, just in case you want to show it off to anybody. It probably eats the fungus anyway, so it should be fine tucked away inside your HATVENTORY.

As for that UNSCRUPULOUS PILE OF WHATZIT as you identify it... it's probably best staying under the carpet where it belongs. You can't think of any potential use for such an object, no matter how outlandish or improbable.

[Kíeros]

> Recover it with the carpet. Out of sight, out of mind, right?

[jahw]

Read signs to the right

[mythLeader]

>Examine the portraits

[Gelatino]

> Read signs to the right



There are a couple signs attached to the front of the counter. Your MASTER put them there.



This first sign simply shows the prices on some of the HABERDASHERY's wares. Nothing special here.



The second one displays an inspirational quote. As previously mentioned, your MASTER is a man who doesn't like change, so he followed in the footsteps of a certain "Adrian Monk" who is likely an old haberdasher whom your MASTER looks up to. Your MASTER idolizes several people whom you have never heard of, so this isn't anything new.



This last sign displays a PLAQUE awarded to your MASTER, whose name is now revealed to be ANTOINE DUBROW, by the city council. The HABERDASHERY is an integral part of the city's economy due to the widespread importance of fashion, and the city appreciates your MASTER's efforts to operate the finest one. For some reason, your master found it necessary to display this PLAQUE on a sign while it would be perfectly reasonable to display it by itself, but you're not about to question the logic of the finest haberdasher in the city.