Dragon Pulp: the fourth age

[RamLama]

Hey everybody! This sounded like fun and I've been on a real reader-driven content kick lately (I just found MSPaintAdventures a week ago... yeah, I've been living under a rock. Don't judge me). I'm an artist for two webcomics, but couldn't resist the siren call of running a forum adventure. Updates might be as infrequent as every other work day.

I'm considering this an experimental side project. I have a long history with pencil 'n paper RPGs, so feel free to berate me or otherwise be dickish players. I reserve the right to skip over particularly silly commands, but'll generally try to use the first suggestion I can. Or the most awesome suggestion.

Like any good Dungeon Master, I'll likely try to kill the character off. See if you can keep her around long enough to finish the adventure!

You are a FEMALE HERO. You are one of the top heroes in the realm.
Solicitations for your services are numerous in quantity. Compensation, frequently cursed.


Inside the castle is a FOUL BEAST. What is it's name?

[Kíeros]

> Drogtour.

[Wessolf27]

Elphanor the Golden-plated

[BeckyRawr]

>Baltiriza! Eater of worlds!

[LaserShark]

Shemp. Just Shemp.

[RamLama]

As you get closer to the castle, you can hear the loud shrieking and grating sound of scraping metal.
Some would call it music. It reminds you why you came all this way.


The Drog Tour, a group of orcs, trolls, demonkin, and other questionable band members
are playing inside of the castle. This is the final performance for the tour.
You hate to admit it, but the lead singer- Drog- is kind of hot...
in a self-immolating Burninator kind of way.


There are three obvious ways into the castle:
the MAIN ENTRANCE, the SERVICE ENTRANCE, and the SEWER.
Question: What do you do?

Bonus Question: Are you here to slay the band, rock out to them, or something else...?

EXP Rewards & Errata:

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By the power vested in me, by me, I hereby give this adventure the working title HEAVY METAL.
Kieros: +10 exp for the name. +5 bonus exp for making a reference I knew despite me living under a rock.
Wessolf27: +10 exp for the name. Elphanor is actually in charge of the catering. Don't let her know you called her a FOUL BEAST.
BeckyRawr: +10 exp for the name. Baltiriza is the producer for the Drog Tour.
LaserShark: +10 exp for the name. Shemp is a roadie. He might either be your best ally or worst enemy. He probably needs a bath.

I'll be working on my main titles for most of the rest of the day. My deadlines are poking me with sharp little pitchforks.

[Kíeros]

> You are here to slay them all. Just kidding, ROCK OUT!

EDIT: Because apparently, I cannot see more than one bolded thing, take the main entrance; you have your ticket to rock.

[The One Guy]

> Take the service entrance, it's probably the closest to Baltiriza, whom you plan to assassinate before he can carry out his plans to blow up both the band and the fans durring the finale.

[Dsamoothie]

>Main entrance. But check for any guards first.

[King of Clubs]

> Take the main entrance. Also, you are here to get an autograph from Drog.

[Wessolf27]

> A rival band!? The nerve of those fools! Grab a ticket and watch them enviously. Why are they so evily more popular than your band?

[Absol]

>Service entrance. Not as messy, not as obvious.

[chimericWilder]

Why cant you both slay them and rock out?

Jeez.

[RamLama]

You received this letter from Shemp the Roadie yesterday. He's the drummer
in your band and a childhood friend. You were jealous when he joined the tour,
but your father insisted you practice your dragon slaying skills instead.

But Shemp might be in trouble! And saving him and the band means going
to the most awesome concert in the Realms. It's your destiny!


Main Quest: Save the band and kill Baltiriza! Quest acquired!
Sub-Quest: Get Drog's autograph! Quest acquired!
No exp penalties for accidentally slaying audience or band members.
Main Quest succeeds as long as at least half the band survive.
This music is hardcore- a few deaths are to be expected.


You have your TICKET TO ROCK in hand as you approach the MAIN ENTRANCE.
There are two guards. It looks like one of them is going to stop you.
You're not sure why. Why is he stopping you?

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Kieros: +10 exp for setting the tone and direction. Rock On! (5 points deducted from Hufflepuff for the belated edit)
TheOneGuy: +10 exp for the quest. +10 bonus exp for the suggestion being made of awesome.
Dsamoothie: +10 exp for being cautious. Spot check was successful- you noticed the guards.
King of Clubs: +10 exp for the quest. You've always wanted Drog's autograph- this is your chance!
Wessolf27: +10 exp for the background fact that FEMALE HERO is in a band. +5 bonus exp for extra spunk.
Absol: +10 exp for being considerate of the staff. Seriously, they have enough to clean up without worrying about dead guards.
ChimericWilder: +10 exp for quest parameters. +5 bonus exp for probably increasing the body count.

[Kíeros]

> Because he has to stop all people with backstage passes waiting at Will-Call. Geez, you'd think that it'd have been easier just to send them at the same time as the actual tickets.

[The One Guy]

> Because your horse needs to be taken to the designated parking stables; you're not allowed to bring it in.

[Wessolf27]

>Because he wants to check your ticket. If it's for the backstage pass, go ahead, if it's not, tough luck knighty.

[mythLeader]

>He must have recognized your horse! You knew of the risks riding a criminal horse with a reward on its head, but you thought you were far enough away that it wouldn't matter here...

[Absol]

Guard: Hit on her, you drunk.

[PersonPerson]

This^

[RamLama]

Mythleader's suggestion has unlocked a cutscene: True Love's First Rock
In which we discover how FEMALE HERO came to have a horse with a criminal record.
True Love's First Rock, part 1/3

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It was a warm summer night about 4 years ago. One of your favorite bands
was performing at a local venue. Shemp had bought a ticket, but had been
stuck with latrine duty and gave his ticket to you...

You were younger then and believed in fairy tales.
You had had a dream about the lead singer- Frank Noble- and
thought you were in love.














To be fair, you were above the age of consent- but he could totally have
gotten in trouble for all those beers he bought you.

True Love's First Rock, part 2/3

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He and the band had transformed into horses!
Unfortunately, the spell caster had been incompetent
and had fumbled the spell.

You always knew that guy was a poser.

Unfortunately, your magic score has always been too low
to cast more than cantrips. But you knew someone that might
be able to help...

True Love's First Rock, part 3/3

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Ironically, the day you stopped believing in fairy tales
was the day you got stuck in one...

There are two guards, both of which are drunk. The younger one
leans forward and sloppily asks if you want to party.

He smells uncomfortably of patchouli. Every minute you
waste on him is another minute you miss the show.
What do you do?

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Sorry about the delay- most of the hours at my day job are on the weekends. I almost had this ready to go before I worked yesterday evening, but couldn't quite squeeze in enough time. Will you ever forgive me?
Kieros, The One Guy, and Wessolf: +10 exp each for pragmatism.
mythLeader: +30 exp for inspiring the cutscene. (just as a heads up... if my girlfriend complains about how much time it took, I'm pointing her in your direction...)
Absol and PersonPerson: +10 exp each because every story needs more alcohol.
PersonPerson: +5 bonus exp because everyone loves a team player.

[Wessolf27]

>Tell the guy that some "lady friends" wanted to see him out there over the hills yonder. His friend's invited to come. Besides, they're both too drunk to tell the difference between a birch and a... well, you know.

[Kíeros]

> "No sir; I'd prefer to wait until I actually got into the concert before starting".

[Absol]

>Other guard: Kiss the horse.

[BeckyRawr]

>Tell them you'll meet them after the show. You have business to attend to.