Don't: The Cautionary Tales Thread

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

Don't... be a menace to South Central while drinking your juice in the hood.

Okay, joke done. Here's the real cautionary tale.

Don't... run yo mouth about things you don't know.

Simply put, talk things out instead of going to an unrelated fourth party to complain, please. If they can't be talked out, then maybe if you are actually willing to resolve the situation and not just complain for the sake of complaining. This is something that happened IRL last night and almost turned me off a CCG I enjoy playing.

[Pop-A-Matic_Vrillyhoo]

-When on a road trip, if your mother is acting like a child and chasing you around the motel room, don't try to run into the bathroom for safety. You will miss and take the door halfway off one of it's hinges and get to walk around D.C. for a week on a broken toe.
-If your two year old's hand gets bitten by the dog while visiting inlaws in mexico, don't wash the wound with tap water. (Thanks, mom.)
-If a short kid has been pushing you every day for a week, and the teachers haven't done anything about it despite your complaints, when you finally push him back make sure he doesn't fall onto the substitute.
-It's been said before but bears repeating, don't run up a down escalator because you think it would be good exercise before watching a movie with your friends. Especially when it's a 5 block walk back to the house.
-Don't freak out because your marshmallow caught on fire, or it will get flung backwards and hit you in the arm.

Yeah, that's enough for now.

[Bohandas]

Don't eat too much horseradish

[Grumblesaur]

Don't drink too much orange juice.

[ilikeoctopus]

Also on food - don't drop your sushi or sashimi into soy sauce saturated with wasabi, and then eat it without dabbing some of it off.

[Bohandas]

Don't drink too much orange juice.

And don't drink Orange Jiuce immediately after brushing your teeth.

[Graknorke]

Also on food - don't drop your sushi or sashimi into soy sauce saturated with wasabi, and then eat it without dabbing some of it off.

Ha, who send babies to eat wasabi?
Eat all of it, like a boss.

[ilikeoctopus]

Ha, who send babies to eat wasabi?
Eat all of it, like a boss.

That ended badly.

I... am not one for spicy or particularly sharp-tasting foods.

[Graknorke]

That ended badly.

I... am not one for spicy or particularly sharp-tasting foods.

Oh, okay.
I'm the one who orders the spiciest curry just to make a point. And then eats all of the peppers in one go. Spicy foods are basically the best thing, along with garlic and onions.

[sonic3535]

> Don't sit on glowing embers, especially in dress pants, especially the night of the prom.

[Bones96]

-Be sure you get enough sleep.
Last night I only got 2 hours of sleep. This afternoon, I fell asleep in my chemistry class (All we were doing was watching Mythbusters) and after I was awoken by the bell, I stumbled out the door, hit my ankle on something (not sure what) and potentially sprained it.

[Kingdom_Banned]

-Don't trip and fall head-first into sharp rocks, black out and don't even think about after that rolling down a sandy hill getting sand into the wounds.

Don't do it man I've been down that sandy road

[cautiousValidity]

When you hear a fly buzzing close to your face, no matter WHAT happens, do NOT SWAT AT IT. THE GUTS WILL GET ALL OVER YOUR HAIR, HEAD, AND HAND.

[Phynicxs]

Don't try to clean the stove while it's on. Especially if your cleaning utensil is a paper towel and it's not fully dreanched. It WILL catch fire.
Don't try to do any sort of exersize or operate heavy machinery after someone has worked on getting all the knots out of your back, you will get dizzy and have to lie down for a while till you can funtion properly.
Don't leave your posterier where a highly sexual single person can get at it. Your plush rump will get smacked and it will hurt like a bitch. on that note please don't smack anyones rump really hard when they are cooking.That is a great way to hurt someone.
Don't get a real loan from the bank when you can get a student loan. student loans don't gain intrest and can't be left to loved ones if you pass on. Bank loans do/can.
Don't expect to be called back, instead plan to call again in maybe a week or two.
Don't expect all hairdressers to know what they're doing, they may just dye your hair hidiously/cut it wrong.

[glub]

Don't drink apple juice in lieu of beer when performing a century club. Not speaking from experience (thankfully), but I hear that 150 oz of that stuff = diarrhea.

[Vladnuke]

Don't forget to study for your Calc test and blank completly when you do it.

[murtadaugh]

Rotate your tires every other oil change. Failure to do so will end in tears and a set of tires that's dead well before its time.

On that note, do not neglect regular preventative maintenance on your vehicle. A few hundred in repairs every now and then is a lot easier to swallow than a couple thousand all at once.

Keep your kitchen sink clean and dry as much as possible. Roach and fruit fly infestations are hard to eradicate without professional help.

[DormantSanctuary]

Don't discover Heinoustuck at 9pm.
I feel like I'm going to have trouble sleeping tonight.