Massa-Saccharine Fun Time!

[piester]

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AW SHINGLES YEAH! Let's DO THIS man!

You see this CUCUMBER FRESH YOUNGSTER right down below? Well get this, YOU ARE CONTROLLING HIM! I know, THE CONCEPT is FULL OF PHILOSOPHICAL QUESTIONS, but it is STILL IN PLAY, so get used to it bub!

Uhhhhm, so like, I guess I outta NARRATE now! SENSE OF IMMERSION and ALL THAT JAZZ! Yeah I'll get on that right away!

AHEM!

>MASSA-SACCHARINE FUN TIME!



You are one of the PLUCKIEST RAPSCALLIONS in the CITY OF CRATER. Requests for you to get off THE LAWNS OF THE ELDERLY are NUMEROUS IN QUANTITY. Compliance, rare. It is a gorgeous day outside, but you are currently TOO HIGH ON SUGAR to be considered A FUNCTIONING MEMBER OF ANY SOCIETY, so you are being locked up in your CRUMMY BEDROOM by your DEADBEAT PARENTS! It is OLD FASHIONED FUN ON A BUN!

What will you do?

[MrTeabiscuit]

>Examine fishbowl

[Gana0]

Try out the unicycle!

[Oven]

>tear down wallpaper

[Kíeros]

> Knock down the door in your sugar hyperactivity.

[piester]

>TRY OUT THE UNICYCLE!



Unfortunately, your BODY PROPORTIONS are too EXAGGERATED to even REACH THE SEAT!

ABSTRACTION can just GO FUCK ITSELF RIGHT NOW!


>EXAMINE FISHBOWL.



After thirty minutes of examining it, you can deduce that THE FISHBOWL is in reality AN ORDINARY FISHBOWL!

Yeah, Stay in school kid.

[Gana0]

Rummage through your drawers

[piester]

>RUMMAGE THROUGH YOUR DRAWERS.



Finally, a GOOD IDEA! You'll stop the FISH-STARE... THING, and get right to that!



Inside the TOP DRAWER you find NUMEROUS ENJOYABLE GOODS! Including, but not limited to: a SLINGSHOT (The tool of the trade for somebody as YOUNG AND PLUCKY AS YOU!), a TOURNAMENT LEGAL YO-YO, a BIG OL' BRICK OF A GAME SYSTEM, and also a PACKAGE OF SNOOP DOGG THEMED TRADING CARDS! You hit the JACKPOT man!



In the BOTTOM DRAWER, you find... NOTHING? Huh, it seems to be JAMMED! That's weird, your PANTS don't usually do that to your DRAWERS, what with being PANTS and all!

[Gana0]

Check if you are actually wearing pants

Examine Snoop Dogg cards

[Dalmationer]

>Peel off all the wallpaper

[Mibbs]

open snoop dogg cards

[OrangeAipom]

kill yourself

[piester]

>CHECK IF YOU ARE ACTUALLY WEARING PANTS.



We may never know the answer to THAT QUESTION!


>PEEL OFF WALLPAPER.



You can try as much as you want YOUNG MAN, but with SUCH AN ABYSMAL GUTS STAT you won't be able to PEEL ANYTHING in the NEAR FUTURE!


>OPEN SNOOP DOGG CARDS.



Oh GOD DAMN IT! It seems as though the DOGG FATHER has PLAYED YOU ONCE AGAIN! This is the FIFTH FUCKING TIME you have gotten a PACKAGE FULL OF THIS SPECIFIC CARD!

Might as well eat the GUM THAT CAME WITH THE CARDS, it is always STRANGELY RELAXING for SOME REASON YOU CAN'T WRAP YOUR HEAD AROUND, also it is PINEAPPLE FLAVOUR! THE PINEAPPLE FLAVOUR is SO FUCKING ADDICTIVE, you can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH!

[Dalmationer]

>No, no no man start underneath the part up on the right side of the wall. Get your fingernails under where it is flaking off and peel it that way.

[piester]

>NO, NO NO MAN START UNDERNEATH THE PART UP ON THE RIGHT SIDE OF THE WALL. GET YOUR FINGERNAILS UNDER WHERE IT IS FLAKING OFF AND PEEL IT THAT WAY.



Let me CLARIFY, when I said ANYTHING, I was being LITERAL, you LITERALLY CAN'T PEEL ANYTHING WHATSOEVER.

In case you don't GET IT BY NOW, you're PATHETICALLY OUT OF SHAPE!

[Dalmationer]

>Look at the other wall, then, you puny weakling.

[OrangeAipom]

> Peel your skin.

[Kíeros]

> Practise with your yo-yo.

[MrTeabiscuit]

>Find a way to increase your Guts meter

[Mibbs]

your unicycle is straight up in the middle of the room. I think its haunted

[piester]

>PRACTICE WITH YOUR YO-YO.



AAAW YEAAAH!!!


>LOOK AT THE OTHER WALL, THEN, YOU PUNY WEAKLING.



You proceed to flip the FOURTH WALL to show the OTHER SIDE OF YOUR RO-Oh JESUS what the shit happened to your CLOSET? It wasn't all PORTALISH and SPACEY like that last time you checked!


>YOUR UNICYCLE IS STRAIGHT UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM. I THINK ITS HAUNTED.

Pfft what? Why would a UNICYCLE be HAUNTED? That's the DUMBEST THING YOU HAVE EVER HEARD! Jeez, a HAUNTED UNICYCLE… Just the IDEA OF IT is REDONKULOUS!

[Dalmationer]

>What's that mysterious thing above your bed? some kind of control panel?

[Mibbs]

you were facing that direction how did you not see that you flaming retard

>answer phone

edit: WAIT SHIT THERE IT IS ON THE CEILING

[Gana0]

What's that mysterious thing next to your closet? Some kind of primitive cell phone?

[Kíeros]

> Walk into your closet.