Pyestuck - Home of SASS! (Sassy Adventure Show Slammer)

[kryten_2x4b]

This is Norville Rogers. He is one sassy motherfucker, and already 17 years old (and counting). It seems like he drifted off for a second there.
It's not like him to suddenly black out like that. Maybe he forgot to eat some skittles? Who knows..
He finds himself standing in the Airhouse Control Room, now promptly named the "Party Control Room". He has spent quite some time cleaning this sucker up, picking up all of the "shitty cube thingies". Useless cubes they are, with no real use except for creating a mess.
Anyway, He thinks it's about time he sat down and had a good think about why he came in here in the first place.

[NateDude]

>Check out rest of room or some shit

[MrTeabiscuit]

>Sassily pick up those Pepsi cans on the ground

[kryten_2x4b]

>Sassily pick up those Pepsi cans on the ground

Hell yeah, motherfucker. Looks like you still got 2 unopened cans of Pepsi knocking around. This stuff ain't that new crap, this shit is from 1992. It was a good year for Pepsi, and it seems like these are in pretty good condition.
You wanna drink one now or save them for later?

[Magnum]

Drink one now, but save the other for a moment when you least expect it, like a creature that is deathly allergic to Pepsi, except you are expecting it.

Now that I think about it, there wouldn't be anything that would be deathly allergic to the sweet taste of 1992 Pepsi in a can.

Keep it just in case.

[For No Reason]

>Put one foot in front of the other.

>Use that broom to try and open the cans.

[kryten_2x4b]

Gunna Update in the morning so please Keep the suggestions flowing

[Trish]

> Yes. Drink one Pepsi can, then save the other. Shake the reserve can up so that you can spray it viciously into the faces of your enemies.

> Back-sass the cans.

[kryten_2x4b]

Use that broom to try and open the cans.

That's so terrible that it could work. Now all you got to do is slowly pick the mop up.

Slowly does it now...

Go slower you speedster. You're gunna fucking wreck everything-

God-fucking-damnit you sassy bastard. Now you gone and done it.

Better hold that thought because you got an Incoming message.

[GlebGuy]

>Answer Chum.

[kryten_2x4b]

>Answer Chum.

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FireAndInferno: Shagster.
FireAndInferno: Shagger.
FireAndInferno: Hey Shacker
MysteryMachineMan: Sup man
FireAndInferno: oh finally.
FireAndInferno: did you get to that place yet?
MysteryMachineMan: What?
FireAndInferno: That... Sewer system or wherever you are.
FireAndInferno: The place for the game.
FireAndInferno: Duh.
MysteryMachineMan: It's called Pyestock man
MysteryMachineMan: and it aint no sewer system. It's full of pipes and stuff
FireAndInferno: Whatever are you there
MysteryMachineMan: Yeah
FireAndInferno: Okay good
FireAndInferno: Are you stuck in some pipe?
MysteryMachineMan: no..
FireAndInferno: Then get the game started then
MysteryMachineMan: I can't here
MysteryMachineMan: Blacked out and woke up in the control room
FireAndInferno: Oh man maybe you were like
FireAndInferno: hit in the back of the head by some mobster
FireAndInferno: now you're in some dark dank room with no way out
FireAndInferno: used as a sex-slave/hostage.
FireAndInferno: You fucked up son.
FireAndInferno: And you're gonna fuck way more now.
MysteryMachineMan: It aint dank in here anymore
FireAndInferno: GG
MysteryMachineMan: I had the place cleaned up
MysteryMachineMan: Remember?
MysteryMachineMan: Fucking head is spinning..
FireAndInferno: Is it bleeding?
MysteryMachineMan: I don't think so
FireAndInferno: Well whatever
FireAndInferno: better get the healer check that shit
FireAndInferno: we don't want our sass master down.
FireAndInferno: Or be al
FireAndInferno: all*
FireAndInferno: "rez plz"
FireAndInferno: God that would be frustrating.
MysteryMachineMan: ... meh
MysteryMachineMan: How is your situation?
FireAndInferno: What the fuck do you mean?
FireAndInferno: I've been holed up here the whole week.
FireAndInferno: Fucking rats.
FireAndInferno: One bit me in the nose while I was sleeping.
MysteryMachineMan: I take it that you're more than keen to start this sucka up then?
FireAndInferno: I WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE
FireAndInferno: YES
FireAndInferno: And I'm running out of food anyway.
FireAndInferno: I tried the mold or whatever the shit park-rangers eat in the forest to survive
FireAndInferno: but all I end up doing is trying to find clean water for my tounge.
MysteryMachineMan: Well i've got to get to my PC you know..
MysteryMachineMan: Can you wait a little longer?
FireAndInferno: Ugh
FireAndInferno: fiiiiiiine.
FireAndInferno: BTW
FireAndInferno: Have you picked your Strife Specibus yet?
MysteryMachineMan: Maybe
FireAndInferno: You and your mysterious shit.
MysteryMachineMan: It was an accident
MysteryMachineMan: and I slipped
FireAndInferno: ...What did you get?
MysteryMachineMan: Fucking staff kind
MysteryMachineMan: This better be boss
FireAndInferno: I got a fucking axe.
FireAndInferno: GG
MysteryMachineMan: Damnit
FireAndInferno: To be honest
FireAndInferno: it's kind of rusty and old.
MysteryMachineMan: Ha
FireAndInferno: I think it will break.
MysteryMachineMan: Let's hope not
FireAndInferno: Those words coming from you for my well-being.
FireAndInferno: Hold up yo
FireAndInferno: Hell is frozen.
MysteryMachineMan: I aint coming to your rescue again ol' chum
FireAndInferno: Whatever this is going nowhere
FireAndInferno: let's get this shit done.
MysteryMachineMan: Okay
FireAndInferno: Bye.
MysteryMachineMan: Toodles

Now what?

[GlebGuy]

>Ride the staff like a mechanical bull.
>Assass' surroundings.

[kryten_2x4b]

>Assass' surroundings.

>Check out rest of room or some shit

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[GlebGuy]

>Press the red button.

[Askia]

> go down the stairs

[NateDude]

>Get to PC ASAP

[jackattack95]

> Snoop about Snoop

[kryten_2x4b]

>Press the red button.

You mean this button?

You probably shouldn't..

Who knows what it does..

Don't do it.

Godamnit!!

What a surprise! Nothing happened..

You should probably be moving on now.

[Salty Peanut]

Take a swig of that soda now

[kryten_2x4b]

Take a swig of that soda now

Warning: Very silly

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Tastes pretty good

Pretty damn good.

[For No Reason]

>Recycle and/or captchalogue can

[GlebGuy]

>Descend through the stairs

[Trish]

NICE JOB KEEPING IT FRESH DUMBASS. THAT PROBABLY RUINED EVERYTHING. YOU JUST DOOMED HUMANITY. GOOD LUCK.

> Accidentally splash soda onto the "Keep it Fresh" button.

[Sparrowsmith]

Open door, aggress whatever is on the other side, unless it's more pepsi.

[kryten_2x4b]

>Recycle and/or captchalogue can

You're drinking this one, but you can pick the other can up.



Using the Book Fetch-Modus, I see. The Can is being stored on Page 21, if you've already forgotten.
I hope you have a good memory, kid.

>Descend through the stairs

You're going to miss those posters... Huh? You want to bring one with you? Good thinking, kid.
Which one are you taking, then?