S___b: A Bloodswap

[aPawnAscending]

> Horror Terror: Consult with Dream Feferi. Also, be known as the Charitable Visage.

[SkyKat]

> Be Eridan

[ushauz]

>Dream Feferi: Knock yourself into unconsciousness/being Karkat.

OH GOD YOU WISH THAT WAS A THING YOU COULD DO.

> Horror Terror: Consult with Dream Feferi. Also, be known as the Charitable Visage.

You really have no idea why this young Sylph is freaking out so much. You are just trying to talk to her about Very Important Things concerning her and her group and the fate of the universes. You suppose you will just have to wait for her to calm down. That's alright. You have ALL THE TIME IN THE UNIVERSE, an INFINITE STRETCH OF TIME, at least until you DIE.

> Feferi the Shellfishbitch



Okay time to answer the memo with the reports of you being alive.


CURRENT colorChemist [CCC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCC: HEY GUYS
CCG: Oh thank god
CAC: we thrrew the body into the sprrite
CAC: so farr no drreamself has shown up
CCG: Yeah it's highly unlikely you even have one
CAA: also feferi now has sprite knowledge
CAA: and isn't sharing
CAA: X-X
CTA: thats c0mp1etely typica1 th0ugh s0 why are y0u even surprised
CGC: HOW PLEASANT TO SEE YOU RELATIVELY UNSCATHED! >:D
CAC: how did you
CTA: hacker
CTA: what y0u h0nest1y th0ught banning me did s0mething
CTA: nice t0 see that y0u are a1ive ff
CCC: WELL K!NDA
CCC: BUT THANKS ANYWAY
CCC: ALSO ! JUST TOLD YOU G!V!NG AWAY V!ABLE SECRETS GOES AGA!NST THE WHOLE SPR!TE TH!NG
CAC: sprrites tell things?
CCC: THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO ACT AS A SP!R!T GU!DE
CCC: AT LEAST FOR A WH!LE
CCC: UNT!L A CERTA!N EVENT HAPPENS
CCG: You could try being just a bit less cagey here
CCC: ! WAS ACTUALLY TRYN!NG THAT T!ME
CCC: UM
CCC: SH!T
CTA: s0 y0u can pu11 me int0 the game? kinda w0rried 0ver here ab0ut p0ssib1e death
CCC: YEAH SURE
CAC: go ahead and get starrted on it
CAC: everryone should just get connected to theirr clients alrready
CCG: We heard you the first time
CAC: feferri didnt
CAA: actually that's a good point
CAA: just a sec
CCG: What is she doing
CURRENT alpacaTenant [CAT] RIGHT NOW responded to memo
CAT: uM
CGC: IS SHE INVITING EVERYONE IN? >:?
CCT: That seems like too many of us at one time
CCT: Perhaps we could do this in separate memos?
CURRENT arterialGlitch [CAG] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CAG: BACK! >*D
CAC: how arre you doing this we arre the rrightful ownerr of the memo
CAC: we banned herr!
CURRENT gossamerAesthetic [CGA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo
CGA: Do You Mind?
CGA: I Am Trying To Ascend This Tower.
CAA: just wait a sec
CCG: Yeah it doesn't seem wise to pull in all twelve at once
CGA: What?
CAT: wHAT IS GOING ON?
CAT: tHIS IS RATHER
CAT: cONFUSING
CAG: oh GOD both you and equius at ONCE?
CAC: >:K
CCG: Can we please try to not dissolve into petty disputes and blackflirting
CCG: God please just once can everyone keep on topic
CURRENT clockworkAgamemnon [CCA] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CCA: wait somebody died?
CGC: YAY RED!
CGC: FOR THE LOVE OF THE PURSUIT OF ALL EVILDOERS, PLEASE SPEAK MORE!
CURRENT transmogrificationCentral [CTC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CTC: ~ here brethren
CAA: okay everyone is here
CAA: priorities: get your server into the medium asap
CAA: also there have been some issues
CAA: someone has already been eXterminated and resurrected via game mechanics
CCC: SUP
CCA: oh thats what that was
CAA: so does anyone have any pressing issues or concerns
CGA: May I Return To Ascending My Abode?
CGA: That Is, Of Course, If It Is Alright With Our Glorious Leader?
CAA: no need to be snarky kanaya jeez
CURRENT gossamerAesthetic [CGA] RIGHT NOW ceased responding to memo
CAT: yOU WILL BE WORKING ON GETTING ME IN THEN?
CAA: of course tavros!
CAC: you hearrd the leaderr gamzee so do yourr duty alrready!!!
CTC: ~ all in goodest time my sis
CGC: I ALREADY DID MY PART.
CGC: TALK SOME MORE RED PLEASE! YOUR COLOR IS THE PRETTIEST OUT OF EVERYONE HERE!
CAG: yeah eridan get me in the game already! >*D
CCA: do ye mind i am tryin to access the game here
CAC: how about now? is now the rright time? can we just say now is the rright time?
CCG: Ugh
CTC: ~ seem rather unruffiflied sis
CAC: do we? do we rreally?
CCC: CODDAMN SOLLUX WHAT !S EVEN !N YOUR H!VE
CCG: I will flay the exoskeleton off of the absolute stark raving bastard who ever came up with the idea of memos I swear
CTA: it he1ps b00st my c0nnecti0n 0kay
CAG: CHEATING again are we?
CGC: I AM PRETTY SURE MEMOS DO SERVE A PURPOSE SOMEHOW.
CTA: yes i am cheating when there are ABS01UTE1Y N0 RU1ES
CCG: I really fucking doubt it
CAG: of course not how silly of me!
CAC: serriously what if ourr puzzle is one of the special ones that takes a few hourrs to solve
CAC: orr simply rrequirres time as a component like letting something grrow
CAG: after all a hacker of your AMAZING talents knows what shortcuts there are and the cheapest routes you can take
CAG: instead of growing or anything
CAC: some do you know
CTC: ~ i said it ain't time yet sis just wait
CTA: g0d are y0u seri0us1y starting up again
CTC: ~ we will up and get you in the game when things are right
CTC: ~ and not a moment before
CTA: h0w the fuck w0u1d y0u even kn0w ab0ut rem0te c0nnecti0n anyway
CTA: g0d g0 b0ther ed 0r tv 0r any0ne e1se
CCC: !T CERTA!NLY SEEMS TO REQU!RE A LOT OF B!OTECH JUST ABOUT CODDAMN EVERYWHERE
CAT: i WOULD RATHER
CAT: sHE DIDN'T
CAG: why would i bother them? >*/
CAG: except for
CAG: ERIDAN
CTC: ~ because you are a bothersome sister maybe
CCG: I'll side with Gamzee here
CAG: get me in the game already! GOD! i messaged you AGES AGO about this!
CGC: YOU ALWAYS SIDE WITH GAMZEE.
CCG: In this case Vriska is a bothersome bitch
CGC: AND IN THIS CASE, GAMZEE IS A CRAZY LUNATIC WHO LISTENS TO WHAT INVISIBLE MAILBOXES SAY FOR INSPIRATION ON HOW TO PROPERLY LOAD THE DISHWASHER!
CAC: herre herre!
CAG: GOD not this again
CAT: i DON'T EVEN KNOW
CCA: hold yer fuckin metaphorical hoofbeasts vris seriously
CAT: aNYTHING THAT IS GOING ON WITH THE MEMO
CTA: i agree with both kk and tz
CCT: Yet you remain one of the worse offenders
CTA: he speaks!
CTA: he managed t0 type s0mething a11 by his 10nes0me!
CAC: serriously sollux
CAG: come on eridan!
CTA: h0w much ag0ny did that cause t0 y0ur 0cdness this time
CCA: seriously vris i am literally on ma last limb ov'r here so just hold it for a sec will ye



> Be Eridan



You are now ERIDAN AMPORA, and you are LITERALLY ON YOUR LAST LIMB. Currently the memo has erupted into PETTY BANTER and is practically NONSENSICAL which is what USUALLY HAPPENS with these memos. Your POWER IS SHOT, your laptop is running on its LAST RESERVES, and a HORDE OF MUSCLEBEASTS seems to have randomly decided to occupy ALL OF THE AREA SURROUNDING YOUR HIVE.

What do you do?

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Okay almost done with finals! I should be good to start updating normally again. Also, memo was based on real memo shenanigans which always seemed to dissolve into such bickering.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Eridan: STAY CALM AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Also, Introduce yourself!

[Flairina]

(Just to make sure I have this right, especially since it's hard to tell Kanaya's and Vriska's colors apart- the hemospectrum goes, from lowest to highest, eridan sollux aradia feferi tavros karkat equius terezi kanaya vriska gamzee nepeta, correct?)

Eridan: Where your husktop's charger?

[ushauz]

Yes, that's the order of the hemospectrum, more or less anyway. ^^

[WalkingToaster]

Eridan: gaze at your last limb

[ushauz]

Eridan: STAY CALM AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK. Also, Introduce yourself!

Why would you GIVE A FUCK? The only fucks you would give is that this has pretty much been your life for the PAST SWEEP and that you are ENTIRELY TOO USED TO THIS. Speaking of which, your name has already been given as ERIDAN AMPORA. You used to have SHOTGUNKIND, but that's become obsolete now. You still have minor TELEKINESIS and your trusty PILE MODUS though. Yes, haha, pile modus, the jokes are absolutely endless, thank you very much and moving on. You USED to be a lot of things, like a FLARPER for one, and hang out and talk to others, like Aradia and Karkat and Sollux and sometimes Vriska, and have a lot of interests, like ANCIENT HISTORY and NOT-SO-ANCIENT HISTORY and FAKEY MAGIC and HORROR GAMES (courtesty of Aradia). You ONCE had romantic aspirations and hopes and dreams and some semblence of a life. However, the entire universe is too busy pretty much fucking hating you and your non-existant ancestor to allow you to indulge in such things anymore.

Basically, about a sweep ago, you were in a TERRIBLE ACCIDENT from which, according to some not-so-reliable sources, you DIED in. Except that you didn't die, that's bullshit, but you were supposed to or something like that, and now the universe is trying to CORRECT ITS MISTAKE as far as you can figure and keeps trying to KILL YOU OFF. Some previous frienemies suggest JUST DYING ALREADY, but you are far too stubborn and would rather go to that duplicitous creepster to get more robotic parts than submitting to stupid fate.

So power being out? Happens every Tuesday. Neighbors and cohorts all move away? Don't want to stand in the firing range. Laptop battery critical when it could mean life/death for you and others? Naturally. Horde of random musclebeasts far from where they should be and just so conviently around your hive? Doesn't surprise you, and it don't faze you at this point.



Eridan: Where your husktop's charger?

In another block of your hive though it doesn't matter. It wouldn't work since all the power is out ANYWAY. You are just some rustblood, scum of the earth, so you wouldn't have any kind of fancy charger that doesn't require being hooked up to something.



Eridan: gaze at your last limb





Oh sweet arm. You will do everything in your power to keep it attached as long as possible, though you don't have high hopes at this point. You lost two limbs and part of a horn in the ORIGINAL ACCIDENT, your other leg about five perigees later, and your eyes another three perigees later, all of which have been replaced by Equius, that bastard. You think he has been poisoning your food supplies again, probably at an attempt to remove your kidney next. That would probably shock some of the others, but you know better, and they should too since most of their appearances are just that, appearances and acts and illusions.

Well, except for Aradia, but then she has enough neuroses already.

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Hi new person! :D

[Flairina]

Eridan: Hurry up and deploy all this crap. And stop responding to/reading memos if you want to save power you idiot! It's not as if they're doing anything constructive in there!

[OrangeAipom]

> Contemplate upcoming lobotomy.

[aPawnAscending]

> Slaughter musclebeasts until one of them has a fresh battery as an item drop.

[ushauz]

Again, I must apologize since I probably won't be able to update for another week. I forgot to factor in driving across the entire USA in order to actually go home and then my family visiting with other family along the way. After that I should be able to get back to my normal updating schedule.

[ushauz]

>Eridan: Hurry up and deploy all this crap. And stop responding to/reading memos if you want to save power you idiot! It's not as if they're doing anything constructive in there!


You're working on it.





You see, your piece of shit for a husktop doesn't like doing anything fast or reasonable or even mildly slow. This is the fifth time the installer froze, and it doesn't look like you are even a fifth of the way through installing the server portion of the game. And you think the visuals might be glitching since you aren't sure the game client loading screen is supposed to look like that. Must be the visuals, totally the only logical explanation for this weird phenomenon.

Your husktop really sucks.


> Contemplate upcoming lobotomy.

As far as you know, Equius isn't planning any such thing, but YOU WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.


>Slaughter musclebeasts until one of them has a fresh battery as an item drop.

WHY NOT? After all, there are a few benefits to having a robotic creeper obsess over you. Which is namely state-of-the-art built in weapons.





YOU MURDER THEM ALL.

You sure are glad that they are dead now and that there is NO CONCEIVABLE WAY for one to, say, end up in a kernelsprite later, at least without SERVER PLAYER INTERFERENCE.

You do find a fresh battery in a musclebeast stomach. After a bit of cleaning off, you exit out of the program and shut down your husktop, switch the batteries, turn it on again, and work on installing the rest of the game. THIS COULD BE A WHILE.

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Hey guys! I am really, really sorry I was being such a slowpoke about updating, leaving this alone for almost an entire MONTH, but it's really hard to draw while being a pokemon. Seriously you have no idea. I should be back to updating regularly though pending apocalypse or hospitalization.

[Flairina]

Eridan has a cannon arm HE HAS A CANNON ARM HE IS FAR COOLER THAN WE WERE LED TO BELIEVE.

> Eridan: Contemplate what you plan to prototype, assuming a musclebeast does not somehow end up in the sprite instead.

[Raginghearts]

>(smaller) Musclebeast: somehow end up in the sprite anyways

[SkyKat]

YAY THIS IS BAAAACK!!
:3
>Eridan: Practice your telekinesis on the first thing you can think of.

[ushauz]

> Eridan: Contemplate what you plan to prototype, assuming a musclebeast does not somehow end up in the sprite instead.

Actually you are still trying to decide.





There are a lot of things that could be feasible for prototyping, and you would like to prototype with something a lot cooler than, say, a lame rock you found outside your hive - which is completely silly and absolutely not something anyone would ever do.

In your current RANDOM PILE OF STUFF, you have a few odd possessions. You have TWO BOOKS, one is about FAMOUS ANCIENT BATTLES and the other about NOT SO FAMOUS ACIENT BATTLES, or more accurately, ANCIENT BATTLES THAT THE HIGHBLOODS ARE ASHAMED EVEN HAPPENED FOR WHATEVER REASON AND ARE PRETENDING THAT THEY NEVER HAPPENED AND WILL CULL THOSE WHO SAY OTHERWISE. You also have THREE SILVER PIECES which you STOLE from VRISKA'S STASH OF RATHER SHINY THINGS, which at first glance may not seem that awesome, except for the stamp ISN'T THE TRADITIONAL STAMP OF THE EMPRRESS, which means they are either really good counterfeits or really, really old.

Speaking of old things, you have a DUBIOUS URN CONTAINING THE ASHES OF A SUPPOSED ANCIENT WAR HERO, which Aradia gave to you back when the two of you were still on speaking terms, and some kind of POTTERY SHARD, which was not a gift, but rather part of a PARTICULARLY NASTY FLARPING INJURY, and you just haven't thrown it away yet. You also have a TOTALLY HARMLESS CRYSTAL BALL and a pair of COMPLETELY FAKE MAGIC WANDS, one made of bone and the other of some kind of dark wood, both relics from your own wigglerhood.

The last item is a rare, pirated MOVIEGRUB. It's probably a culling offense to even have it, especially since it contains a BANNED MOVIE. You see, most films have to meet certain critera, show support of the empire or show how those who oppose the empire are UTTERLY DESTROYED. This film is a revolutionary flick set around a thousand sweeps ago, and not only is it just loaded with subversive messages, it actually postulates that it just might be possible to overthrow the troll empire and GLORIFIES attempts to do so. Due to its banned status, the full name of the movie has been lost, but in hushed circles it is referred to as...


Troll Braveheart.


It is absolutely your most favorite movie in any incarnation of the universe possible.


>Eridan: Practice your telekinesis on the first thing you can think of.






You're a fair telekinetic and can lift this pile of junk PRICELESS TREASURES with ease. Not as crazy as, say, Aradia, but whether that's genetics or horns is anyone's guess. You used to be COMPLETELY UNBALANCED with your telekinetics, unable to keep things on a stable trajectory or not implode them. That was back when one of the many accidents after the ACCIDENT happened, and you lost half of one of your horns.






You see, troll horns act as amplifiers for one's own psionics, which naturally come from the thinkpan, and also function as miniaturized satellites to pick up on other trolls' psionics. Different shapes (and numbers) of horns amplify the signals differently. For example, Sollux is at a crazy level of psionic ability, probably due to the resonance generated by his horns whenever he decides to commune with computers or fiduspawn or what have you. Furthermore, if the natural horns are broken, this usually affects the psychic balance of the troll, which can cause instability or pure disruption of psionic abilities and also tends to make trolls VERY DIZZY AND SOMEWHAT DISORIENTED, at least at first.

TROLL HORNS SURE ARE IMPORTANT FOR PROPER PSYCHIC HEALTH OF A TROLL. IT SURE WOULD BE A SHAME IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO ONE OF YOUR TEAMMATES' HORNS CAUSING WHO KNOWS WHAT MAYHEM.

[Flairina]

> Eridan: Be interrupted.

[Lieutenant Fish]

>WE MUST PREVENT THIS. AT. ALL. COSTS!

[ushauz]

> Eridan: Be interrupted

Suddenly trollian dings at you which for some reason catches you COMPLETELY BY SURPRISE! Everything you were levitating falls down in a heap. Goddammit. It's probably Vriska again, or, if the entire universe is hating you particularly hard right now, Equius. You decide to be lazy and bring the husktop to you rather than walk ALL THE WAY OVER THERE.





Yep. Equius. Why would you ever be lucky? What a stupid notion to have.



-- catchTwentytwo [CT] began trolling clockworkAgamemnon [CA] --

CT: -^- There appears to be a few issues
CT: -^- With connecting to you as a server
CT: -^- It says you are not in the system yet
CA: yeah thats on account o me no havin installed the other half o the game yet
CA: still workin on the first half
CA: this could take a while seein as how i have shit technology ov'r here
CA: so sorry ye will have to wait to completely fuck up ma hive to yer warped concuspient urges
CT: -^- You could have come to me earlier
CT: -^- I have superior equipment than yours
CA: what an risk ma kidneys
CT: -^- What interest would I have in them
CA: see thats what im askin maself
CT: -^- You are being paranoid and delusional
CT: -^- I have yet to cause bodily harm to you
CA: its that yet thats all ominous just flashin giant neon signs at me
CT: -^- If you insist in holding such assumptions
CT: -^- Then there is nothing I can do for now
CA: an what the fuck was wi the fakey freakout on the memo
CT: -^- I had no such "freakout" on the memo
CT: -^- Others merely concluded erroneously
CA: ye duplitious bastard
CA: ye are always pullin this kind o shit on pretty much just ev'ryone
CA: i wouldnt be surprised if ye didnt even have ocd
CT: -^- If you are uncomfortable with our deal
CT: -^- You are free to walk away from my service
CT: -^- I am not forcing any cybernetics upon you
CT: -^- This is all completely your choice lowblood
CA: which ye are always so fond o remindin me about thanks v'ry much we both know what ma answer has to be
CA: HAH
CA: finally got the fuckin serv'r part installed
CA: chat later zahhak gotta go mess wi vriss hive an throw her shit around like any good frienemy would

-- clockworkAgamemnon [CA] ceased trolling catchTwentytwo [CT] --

[Destruction Dragon 360]

Eridan: Mess with Vriska's hive and throw her shit around like any good frienemy would.

[auspiciousArmistice]

Wow, this is really good! I like how you kept everyone's personality pretty much the same. This is realistic, I guess you'd say?

[Flairina]

Eridan: Manage to deploy everything and start lording your power over Vriska via trollian.
Laptop: Crap out.

[Absol]

>Laptop: Show error stuff.

[ushauz]

>Eridan: Mess with Vriska's hive and throw her shit around like any good frienemy would.












>Eridan: Manage to deploy everything and start lording your power over Vriska via trollian.
>Laptop: Show error stuff.
>Laptop: Crap out.


-- arterialGlitch [AG] began trolling clockworkAgamemnon [CA] --
WHAT THE FUCK????
oh hey vris
just makin some room for the stuff i have to deploy with these amazin game cursor mechanics
ye dont mind do ye
my HIVE
you DESTROYED MY HIVE!!!
well technically speakin its still standin an upright
so naw i didnae
i just
made some space is all
you are the WORST FRIENEMY
i am the best frienemy it is me an none other
oh you are so DEAD if i manage to catch up with you in game >*D
haha is that anyway to talk to the troll who is solely reliable for further game development
i mean its no like i am going to be a crucial an essential process o yer advancement
what goes around comes around BROTHER
don't be surprised if i end up having a word with your good and faithful hemo-abiding SERVER myself
two can play this game after all though i DO appreciate the sentiment ampora
know that i am planning on RUTHLESSLY DOMINATING THE OPPOSITION and will do so regardless of your petty attempts to put me off my game
ha see already found where you put the cruxtruder and ready to prototype with only the BEST of prototypings
seriously did you actually try to hide this from me the great and almighty VRISKA SERKET?
eridan?
hello alternia to ERIDAN!!!
eridan did your shitty husktop freeze up again? >*/



You cannot respond because your SHITTY HUSKTOP HAS FROZEN ONCE AGAIN GODDAMMIT.





Fucking glitchy visuals. You are going to have to reboot your husktop AGAIN and get working on installing programs AGAIN.
It's probably time to be somebody else.

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Hi new people! *waves* And thanks for the compliment!