Clownquest

[linkzeldi]

==> Begin Clownquest

You are SHAGGY 2 DOPE. No, scratch that. You're his student.

What the heck do you do, now you've got the entire world under your thumb? What's the point?

This is the story of a reluctant clown - one who was trying to subvert the establishment from within, but was thwarted by his partner and a bisected middle. This is the legend of a man who almost managed to save the world from the Condesce, but failed because of Guy Fieri. This is the tale of...

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Be the Clown


A tall and not too human looking motherfucker stands in his room. Today happens to be the sixteenth anniversary of the day of his hatching. Typically this is celebrated by a swig of wicked elixir and a gracious amount of verbal sparring, but on this day unlike any other he will be given a name. He will be finally welcomed as another capricious member the JUGGALO ELITE, in his hometown of Washington, Dark Carnival.

The Date is 4/26/2029. A date important in all aspects, but especially because it marks the BEGINNING of this MOTHERFUCKER's end.

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==> Enter Name



A/N

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Welcome to Clownquest. My second fan adventure, after my first one got put on indefinite hiatus for being too hard to art. Let me get this clear, I DO NOT CONSIDER MYSELF A GOOD DRAWER BY ANY MEANS OF THE WORD. I've always been a writer first, and because of that this is mostly going to be a text adventure. There will be some panels, like the two located above, but they will be mainly reserved for character introductions, and really important scenes that are hard to describe otherwise.

Second, I must point out, that this idea has been lovingly ripped off from Ashdenej, and changed from its original format. Sorry Ash, I started today ready to stick with your original idea, until I realized I am so far removed from the ICP fandom, I have no idea how to write Shaggy 2 Dope properly. So I decided to change the details a little so it involved his unknown student. Like Star Wars Force Unleashed, except less broken. If anybody still wants to do a Clownquest with Shaggy 2 Dope as the lead, go ahead, be my guest.

Anyway this is a story that is meant to be silly, but I wanted to try something which has a ridiculous as fuck setting, that all the main characters take seriously. So this fan adventure is once again another experiment. Not much is planned out beyond the basic plot structure and the ending, so its up to you guys to take me there. Please give me plenty of commands, both serious and silly ones, and I'll try to make this fan adventure a thousand billion times better than my last one. (Which won't be that hard).

[HeroicLemon]

Andy Rogers.

[HeroicLemon]

Luke Nilton.

[HeroicLemon]

Dope Gangta.

[HeroicLemon]

Outt A'ideas.

[Freack]

Shaggy 2 Dope Jr.

[TheNeonWerewolf]

Rick Astley


Ok ok, my real suggestion: Dani Robins

[HeroicLemon]

Cory Baxter.

[Pandasiah]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Y8Rqq4IhqI couldn't think of a good name but i hope this is a good fitting song for him

[chezrush]

Swag swaggersron.

[BlueBlood]

Demetri Polinski

[ashdenej]

>D 4 Drugz

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>A 4 Apple

[Fish]

> Dumbsuck MacMoron.

[chezrush]

Gaymzee Makora. Totally not affiliated with Gamzee Makara.
Real one is Little Spin. Aw yee.

[BlueBlood]

Paul Slinky

[linkzeldi]

== >

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TRY AGAIN

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Examine Room


Your name is SWAG BAXTER

You have been under the tutelage of Shaggy 2 Dope for thirteen long years, ever since that fateful day when he adopted your three year old self. You are surrounded by twelve other disciples of the mirthful duo, and together you are considered the highest ring of the carnival. Currently, you are thirteenth in line for the power mongering puppet heads, and since that fateful day the Dark Carnival began, you have dedicated your life to ending theirs

You have many false interests, which include slamming Faygos, juggling and attempting the unachievable feat of balancing on a unicycle. You have hidden your true love for ironically bad slam poetry and all things underground and BARDIC since long before first painting on your Juggalo Makeup. Broadway has long since flooded, but that has not put a stop to your love of musicals, especially the way in which characters break out into SONG at points of DRAMATIC tension. You are also a rabid scholar of history, especially US PRESIDENTS; your favorites are GEORGE WASHINGTON and ANDREW JACKSON. You envy both of these men for TOTALLY SEEING THIS COMING.

You are generally regarded among your cohorts as a SPOONY and unpredictable BARD, but them your personality and history may as well be a VOID. You have never been a part of the official rebellion, which you estimate has long since failed anyway, preferring to strike off on your own rather than organize in groups. However, you have one ally in a similar position who has come to know you under the term ClOWNSMASIS. You tend to speak in IN A RANDOM manner. Capsing, or shouting at parts of the sentence WHERE IT NEVER REALLY SEEMS to fit.

Your goals are many, spinning a web of flaming irons that’s going to tear this whole damn Juggalo establishment to the ground.

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== >Quickly retrieve arms

What? Motherfucking arms, aren’t they already attached? Admittedly you are a bit too chemically relaxed at the moment to fall victim to any of that meta shit.

Oh wait, the other kind of arms. Those are right in front of you.

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== >About those arms


Right. You pick up your Clubs Truce, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from clowns wielding executive power.
Clubs are so lame. You wish your teacher approved of lutes more.

You are equipped and ready to go, what now?

[chezrush]

No. Go jump in your recuperacoon first. Feel the slime on your face.

[HeroicLemon]

Admire Andrew Jackson's Bloody, Bloody, plush rump.

AND/OR

Look outside your window.

[HeroicLemon]

Play a haunting lute refrain.

[chezrush]

Oh man your friend is pestering you! You better answer him/her soon so they don't do chuckle voodoo on you again.

[BlueBlood]

Admire Green-skinned Beauty

[linkzeldi]

==>Jump in your Recuperacoon


In front of you is a SLIMY RED POD, which is apparently now called a recuperacoon. You think that is a pretty sweet name, though you were particular to SLIMY RED POD. This was a gift from your master and clowndad Dope to help assuage the TERRIBLE BLOOD RIDDEN nightmares you are often victim to at night. The slime is a little too relaxing though, and you have taken to eating it as a way to increase your mirthfulness beyond normal levels. The slime also dulls your senses, so lately you have been sleeping less and less in the SLIMY RED POD and instead taken to crashing inside of your mystical whimsy chest. So, apologies to the voices, but you’re taking a rain check on getting your clothes covered in slime before the national anthem has even played.

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== > Admire Andrew Jackson’s BLoody BLoody Plush Rump


Motherfucking Miracles.

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== > Look outside your Window


You do just that, and take a view of the world outside. Your Clowndad and his completely heterosexual buddy 4 life are out wreaking havoc again. The entirety of Washington DC has been torn down to erect the monuments of a fascist and mirthful regime. Most of the historical buildings and monuments which stood her previously were a testament to the freedom and fortitude of their people. Then these clowns came and pitched their colorful tents and littered the lawn with their Faygo, and now all of that is gone.This is the world you live in, but it will not be this way forever.

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== >Admire Green Skinned Beauty


You are quite fond of plays on the hidden depths of Wicked ladies with skin of an olive tint. Hubba, Hubba. And the musical ain’t half bad either. If only you could defy gravity in the manner which was popularized by this delightfully green and wicked beauty. It would make your quest a great deal cooler. You could even say something silly like Pshoooo while you were rocketing away in a feat of gravity defiance. But this is the real world. Stuff like that is just fake fluff that only works in over dramatic musicals.

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== >Play a haunting lute refrain

You stare longingly at your lute. Not now, there will be time for that later.

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== > Oh man your friend is pestering you, you better respond to avoid the chuckle voodoos


You hope your BEST MOTHERFUCKING FRIEND is not in one of those moods again. On second thought, it is better to check in with her regardless of her current mood, because you not responding always causes her to be in a worse one.

JUGGALOG:

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clownsMasis [CM] began juggling with madChefter [MC]

CM: Hey.
MC: WHo THe FUCk SCREWEd YOUr HEAd On TODAy, BECAUSe THEy DId a SHITTy JOb Of It.
CM: Man, why is it the first thing you always MOTHERFUCKING DO is get up and START KICKING MY SELF ESTEEM IN THE SHINS.
MC: SORRy Im WORKINg On My PUTDOWNs AGAIn.
MC: Im KINd Of AFRAId THAt ILl NEVEr REACh THe HEIGHTs To WHICh My ECTOBIOLOGICAl ANCESTOr SOAREd.
CM: Awe, you don’t gotta be down on yourself man.
CM: Your insults sting me in ways that your daddy’s never could.
MC: HEs NOt My DAd, ANd i Am NOt a MAn, BUt i WILl ACCEPt YOUr COMPLIMENt.
CM: That’s the spirit.
CM: Now all that’s left to do is KICK THE FUCK BACK.
CM: Slam a Faygo with me.
CM: And the rest of this mirthful birthday is set.
MC: PLEASe STOp It WITh THe FAYGo SHIt.
MC: At THIs POINt Im STARTINg TO BELIEVe YOu ACTUALLy MEAn It.

[chezrush]

Act like a penguin and go headfirst down the stairs

[BlueBlood]

Suppress Your inner Blood-Rage
(KILLMURDERKILLSLAYDISEMBOWELKILLMURDERSUBBJAGATeE )

[HeroicLemon]

Fuck all this Faygo nonsense and reveal yourself to be a secret Mormon.