No More Eros

[DairunCates]

>Takeshi: To travel 100 feet laterally you would be moving at about 40 miles per hour assuming a decently arced trajectory. An impact at that speed would cause severe damage including broken ribs, internal trauma, and possibly a collapsed lung.

Takeshi: That impact should've killed or at least maimed me. No wait... That can't be right.


Takeshi: Hmm... Maybe she over-exaggerated the distance, or maybe I'm missing a variable somewhere. Damn. Why couldn't she have given me an estimate in metric. Oh well. I should be able to convert that real quick by-


Kid 2: Takeeeeeeeeshi~. Come out. Come out, wherever you are.
Takeshi: Aww crap. Right. I was supposed to be running.


Takeshi: Man. If only I had some way to stall her until Kiyoshi gets here.

>Takeshi: Is that a samurai ninja katana sword behind that tree?

Takeshi: Wait a second. What's that behind this tree?

>Takeshi: Pull Sword out from behind tree! Have no idea how to use a Sword

Takeshi: Whoa. Random katana behind the tree. Who drops something like this?

>Takeshi: Grab the sword, hold yourself hostage. If they don't let you go, you start with the self stabbing. It's a bold move, but it might be your only option, and it'll stall them until Kiyoshi arrives.

Takeshi: To bad I don't know how to use one. I'll just have to hold myself hostage then. Surely she'll back off if I threaten to kill mys-
???: Do you wish to learn the ways of the sword, young lord?


Takeshi: AHHHHHHH! GHOSTS! DON'T KILL ME!
???: I do not intend to harm you. Please. Calm down.
Takeshi: Who said that?
???: Look down at your feet.


Takeshi: T-the sword? What do you want?
Sword: I can teach you the ways of the sword and the samurai. I can give you skill, grace, and power to rival even a demon. However, you will need to make a pact with me and give me some temporary control over your body.
Takeshi: H-how do I know I can trust you? Are you a demon?
Sword: I have been called similar before. It is not an entirely accurate assessment though. Without a master, I am helpless and powerless. I assure you, young lord, I need you as much as you need me.

>Kiyoshi: Don't force her.

Kiyoshi: I want your help, Yuko. I'm still very new to all this. I think I'm getting a better handle of how things work, but I still don't understand a lot that you do. I'm mostly powerless against all of this. Your supernatural powers from the game might be able to combat them better than I can. Besides, even if you turn into your game self, maybe I can get you to still work with me while under the influence.
Yuko: Alright, then I'll-
Kiyoshi: ...BUT I'm not going to force you, Yuko. If you're even the slightest bit uncomfortable with all this. Don't come. You've already given me a better shot than I would have had otherwise. I'll figure something out.
Yuko: Don't be stupid. You need me, right?
Kiyoshi: Well, if you want, you could stay just close by, and I could call you on your cell phone if I need you. Should keep you out of range.
Yuko: But you're still hurt. What if you can't call me in time?
Kiyoshi: Don't worry. I'll figure something out. What's the point of saving one person only to let another one fall victim to the game? Besides, it's not as bad as it looks.

>Yuko: "The beaten stupid look suits you. It really suits you."

Yuko: I'm not so sure. I don't think it looks bad at all. The beaten stupid look kinda suits you.
Kiyoshi: Uhhh... Thanks?
Yuko: I'll get dressed. I'll meet you downstairs with your sister.

>Sis, reveal name.

Kiyoshi: Tomoe. What is all this?
Sis: It's just a basic seal and purification wand. It should help out. Beginner level stuff to use too. Just throw the seal and wave the wand around a bit. Maybe say a prayer or something.
Kiyoshi: So what if this doesn't do the trick?
Sis: Then it will probably piss them off, but I can't give you much better without more specific information.
Yuko: Well, I suppose it will have to do. I've studied a bit on magic myself in my work. I can probably help you wing it if you have problems.
Sis: Alright. I'll see you later then.
Kiyoshi: Where are you going this late?
Sis: I'm gonna go see if I can't find out more about any weird activities in the supernatural underworld recently. Pretty boring stuff, honestly. Just talk with a few contacts. Don't worry. I'll be back by bedtime.

>Kiyoshi's sister: Have your own amazing adventures outside the specifications of the game, which you find fairly dull.

Yuko: So... Do you think she's actually...?
Kiyoshi: I have no idea, and I stopped asking a long time ago.


Kid 1: Stupid Takeshi and his guardian. They think they can escape with cheap parlor tricks, but my sister should be making short work of them.
???: Excuse me. Did you say Takeshi?

>Chemist: Show up.

Kid 1: Yeah. So? Who wants to know?

[Pharmacy]

>Takeshi: Comically escalate your freakout

>Evil Little Vampire Kid: You seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

[Cresent]

> Takeshi: Pick up the sword. Make the bargain. Be the samurai.

> Kid 2: Get backstabbed

> Ninja: Make sure that the annoying twit is dead. Then resume your search for Takeshi

[Sparrowsmith]

Make the pact with the sword, nothing could possibly go wrong with making random deals with a talking sword. Nothing not awesome anyway.

[Shadow Phoenix]

>Monster kid : meet another level of monstruosity.

[Bropocalypse]

>Chem-chan: Have a combat bonus vs evil children

[Ouroboros]

> Takeshi: Yeah, this is probably a trap. Besides, you can't start samurai training, it would interfere with your Formal-Robin training.

[Heroguy]

Takeshi: Become Samurai Formal-Robin Master, thereby becoming the most powerful character in the game, as a protagonist should be.

[Professor zobot]

>Takeshi: refuse to accept unless it seems like all is lost, but be polite about it.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Take up the sword! BE THE SWORD GUY!

[98714123340]

Pact or not it's still a sword! Pointy end goes into the bad guy!

[DairunCates]

>Takeshi: Comically escalate your freakout.

Takeshi: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I DON'T WANT TO MAKE A PACT! I DON'T WANT TO BE A MAGICAL GIRL!
Sword: Relax, young lord. I mean you no harm.

>Takeshi: Yeah, this is probably a trap. Besides, you can't start samurai training, it would interfere with your Formal-Robin training.

Takeshi: Huh? Then what about all that pact and demonic power and possession stuff?
Sword: It is not my desire to harm you or corrupt you, young master. The pact is to give you more immediate access to my knowledge and technique. It is your choice when I can take control of your body.
Takeshi: Then what do you gain out of all this? Why help me?
Sword: Existence.

>Takeshi: Pact or not it's still a sword! Pointy end goes into the bad guy!

Takeshi: What?
Sword: Without a wielder, I am left in darkness, blinded to the world around me. My existence is nothing more than waiting ages for the next person to wield me. I am only allowed something resembling life through a master. While you wield me, I am allowed to experience more than the world immediately around me. When you make the pact, I am allowed to live.
Takeshi: I'm still not sure I trust you to take control of my body. That sounds kinda frightening.
Sword: Understandably prudent, young lord. At least take me with you as a weapon then. I am a blade of the finest steel. If you run into trouble, I can at least try to instruct you verbally. Perhaps if I prove my use, you may begin to trust me more.

>Takeshi: Refuse to accept unless it seems like all is lost, but be polite about it.

Takeshi: Alright. Fine. I'll trust you for now but no pacts or anything, and at the first sign of anything weird out of you, I'm throwing you in the river, got it?
Sword: Understood. Someone with a hostile energy is approaching our location rapidly. You should prepare yourself for battle, young lord.


Kid 1: Right. So what's this about, then?
Scientist: It seems you and I are interested in the same thing. I want to know why.
Kid 1: Please...

>Evil Little Vampire Kid: You seen enough hentai to know where this is going.

Kid 1: Do you really think I'll tell you just because you look like some kind of horrible female version of a generic sex demon? I've seen far worse than a mere human can dish out. Besides, even with your "enhancement", you couldn't hurt me if you tried.
Scientist: Interesting...

>Chem-chan: Have a combat bonus vs evil children

Kid 1: What the? Why are you tightening your grip? I just told you-
Scientist: I don't care. You think I'm weak, but let me tell you something; I did this to myself. I threw away my own humanity for my own goals. You think you're immune to me, because you've seen worse? Those that haven't felt true fear, true sorrow, and true pain can't ever hope to inflict it. Your demonic friends only think they understand fear and pain...

>Monster kid : Meet another level of monstrosity.

Scientist: ...but I have experienced it to its fullest, and when you tell me that I cannot hurt you, I, a woman of science, am HOPING, PRAYING, and WISHING that you do not tell me what I want to know. I want to see the limits of your hypothesis and my strength.
Kid 1: Uhhh...
Scientist: Oh, and there's something else your kind lacks. Creativity. I might not have the experience, but I can think of a LOT more things to do with my extra appendages than your friends can. Shall we start with my favorites or just work our way up slowly?

[Sparrowsmith]

Scientist, introduce him to the true definition of pain.
Be horrifically bad at it.

Takeshi, you are now Samurobin, sidekick and apprentice to Formal Batman. Make this fact known to everyone you meet, but mostly kiyoshi.

[Bloddyredcommie]

Chemist: Teach Him the Meaning of Pain...With a dictionary. You better settle upon a common definition of "Pain" before you experiment with how much you can inflict on him.
You know, for scientific purposes.

Takeshi: Hide in a bush...no...BECOME the bush!

[Kiroth6]

Kiyoshi: Realize you have the tracking skills of the average teenage boy. How exactly are you going to find Takeshi?

Kid 2: Realize tracking is not your strong point.
Kid 2: Overcompensate.

Kid 1:Recall your vast demonic knowledge of mad scientists. See Laughter of Fools.

[Armok]

Chemist: Teach Him the Meaning of Pain...With a dictionary. You better settle upon a common definition of "Pain" before you experiment with how much you can inflict on him.
You know, for scientific purposes.

This. Psychological torture.

[DairunCates]

>Chemist: Teach Him the Meaning of Pain...With a dictionary. You better settle upon a common definition of "Pain" before you experiment with how much you can inflict on him.
You know, for scientific purposes.

Scientist: Physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc. A distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: a back pain. Mental or emotional suffering or torment: ie. I am sorry my news causes you such pain. That one seems good.
Kid 1: Huh?
Scientist: Pains, A. Laborious or careful efforts; assiduous care: Great pains have been taken to repair the engine perfectly. B The suffering of childbirth. Well, I doubt that one applies.
Kid 1: What are you-?
Scientist: Informal. An annoying or troublesome person or thing. I think that more applies to what you are to me; not what I'll be giving you.


>Kid 1:Recall your vast demonic knowledge of mad scientists. See Laughter of Fools.

Kid 1: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!?
Scientist: I am a scientist first and a lunatic second, my test subject. We must define the parameters of the experiment and its definitions before we can accurately gauge how much pain I will be inflicting. It seems prudent to just judge it based on the volume of your screams. Wouldn't you agree?
Kid 1: Oh. I get it. You're one of those laughing mad evil scientist types. I know all about you. It's all hubris and pride and no substance to back. You push the boundaries because you think you're better than everyone, but you have to hide behind your experiments and projects to keep people from revealing how helpless you really are. You use other sentient creatures to further your mad and futile attempts at playing God because you're afraid of trying it on yourse-



Kid 1: ACK!
Scientist: You seem to think of me as the same as the like of storybook Mad Scientists like Dr. Frankenstein or Dr. Moreau. You think you can get me to slip up by angering me, targeting my pride? Correct?


Scientist: It's not going to work. You see, I may be cackling mad on the outside, but I don't let my eccentricities or biases get in the way of my research. Oh. You can certainly anger me, but my anger won't overwhelm my desire for scientific discovery. My research is just too important. I won't bother explaining my methods or reasons. I don't expect you'd believe me, honestly. I don't just test without reason, though.
Kid 1: Then... why... are you...
Scientist: Oh you?

>Chemist: Psychological Torture.

Scientist: I just don't like you.
Kid 1: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scientist: Good scream. That will be our baseline.

>Kiyoshi: Realize you have the tracking skills of the average teenage boy. How exactly are you going to find Takeshi?

It's not that your navigation is THAT bad. This is where Takeshi told you to meet him. It's just that there's no one here.

>Takeshi: Hide in a bush...no...BECOME the bush!

Kid 2: Dammit. Where did he go? See? This is why brother handles the tracking. I'm just no good at this.
Bush: Whoosh. Shuffle. Leaf Noises.

>Kid 2: Realize tracking is not your strong point and overcompensate.

Kid 2: Oh well. Guess I'll have to do this the old-fashioned way.
Bush: Wha- I mean. Scratch. Crack. Shuffle.
Kid 2: I'll just have to blow up the nearby area.
Bush: SHI- I MEAN, BUSH NOISES! BUSH NOISES! BUSH NOISES!


Whoa. What was that sound?

[Bropocalypse]

That's what a panicking bush sounds like.

[DS Piron]

> Head over there, guns* at ready, but not ablaze.

*Metaphoric Guns, of course, I'm pretty sure real firearms are unavailable for civilians.

[Vancho1]

>That sound was a bush that suspiciously speaks with Takeshi's voice....

Oh no! His soul has been rent from his body and transferred into a plant! Save him from that monstrous... little girl?

[Kiroth6]

Kiyoshi: Investigate suspicious bush noises

[The One Guy]

Takeshi has leared the first lesson not being seen, however, he has chosen a very obvious piece of cover.

[98714123340]

Huh.. Really didn't think that would actually work.

[Xander]

That would be Takeshi trying to be a bush. Again.

[Beatrice_the_Golden]

Kiyoshi, take notice that Takeshi's bush impression has improved.