>Kiyoshi: She is a ROBOT MAID, yes? Most likely, the restrictions on that role involve having trouble comprehending emotions or logic traps. Saying something like 'This statement is false' could cause her robo-brain to lock up if you are lucky.
Kiyoshi: This statement... is... false.
Maid: This unit's logic core is protected against paradoxes.
Kiyoshi: Uhhh... "What is the sound of one hand clapping?"
Maid: This unit's logic core is also protected against Zen Koans.
Kiyoshi: You're fat?
Maid: This unit's logic core is DEFINITELY protected against weak insults. Also, this unit has maintained it's gravitational exertion within a 10% margin of error. Everyone puts on 10 pounds around the holidays.
Kiyoshi: Did I mention Takeshi really like robots? Like... A LOT?
Maid: Oh, come on. No girl would fall for that line.
>Kiyoshi: Pssh. She might be the literal computer, but you have an NPC role! What do you know about the non-players in fighting games? They can often break the rules. Like attack cooldown. Spam Kiyo-ken!
Maid: This unit also senses that that magical spell you have been charging while attempting to distract it is nowhere near the proper danger level to cosmetically effect this unit.
Kiyoshi: Oh this? Just warming my hands. They turn the A/C WAY up in this place.
>Kiyoshi: Appeal to her raitonal and logical nature to prove she has emotions.
Kiyoshi: Look. It's obvious, I've angered you, but I mean it. A crazy monster chemist and a ninja are hunting down my friend, and your creator will get caught in the cross-fire. It's this crazy curse that's effecting everyone's minds. I'm just trying to protect my friend as you are trying to protect yours. Maybe I'm lying, but it's at least worth checking out, right? Is it worth the sadness that her getting hurt would bring?
Maid: I told you, this unit is incapable of emotion.
Kiyoshi: What about the unnecessary violence then? The one-liners? Did your creator order that? Did she program you with that? Would she really order a level of violence that would attract the attentions of the police and get her arrested? Would she really order you to beat up the best friend of the guy she's trying to seduce, reducing her chances of getting on his good side? These are not things a thoughtless automaton would do.
Maid: The creator tried to give this unit emotions, but the experiment was a failure. You are merely incapable of understanding this unit's superior thought process. This unit has its reasons. Its actions are in perfect line with its goals and its orders.
Kiyoshi: I understand it just fine. It's called blind anger.
>Kiyoshi: Ask her if she's angry because her mistress is paying more attention to somebody other than her.
Maid: THIS UNIT CANNOT FEEL ANGER!
Kiyoshi: Wait... Are you jealous that your creator is paying attention to someone else?
Maid: This unit must protect the creator from ANY and ALL threats. No matter what force is necessary. These are this units priorities.
Kiyoshi: Can't... breathe...
Maid: This unit will not hesitate to do anything to protect its creator from any potential threat, even ones the creator has inflicted on herself.
You could've sworn that would work. So much for attempting to abuse the restrictions of roles. Maybe that witch was wrong. You may be nigh immortal, but this is hurting, and you can feel yourself blacking out from the Robo-maid's cold grip restricting your air pipe. There's no way you'll get to Takeshi in time. You're so useless. Stupid curse. Stupid harem of crazy girls. Stupid "BIG SIS" ROBO-MAID...
WAIT A SECOND!
She's a maid too. Her protective sub-routines guard her from your rational attacks, but maybe you can trigger one of her other sub-routines.
Kiyoshi: Damn it. Where'd I put it?
Maid: This unit recommends giving in and ceasing breathing functions. Your demise will be less painful that way.
Kiyoshi: Got... it...
Maid: What is the meaning of this?
>Kiyoshi: She's a robot maid. Somehow, make a mess.
Kiyoshi: Aren't you going to clean that up? It'll get blood all over the tile floor.
Maid: This unit sees what you are doing. Do not think it will work.
Maid: Now. Cease any movement. This unit will quickly remedy this situation.
Kiyoshi: Oh. Okay.
Maid: Now. Where did I put those cleaning supplies?
This is it! This is your only chance to get back to Takeshi. There's no way that will cause a long enough distraction to make a run for it, but maybe it's enough time for a different kind of distraction...
>Kiyoshi: Kiss her?
>Kiyoshi: Yeah just kiss her. KISS HER IN A MANLY FASHION.
Kiyoshi: See? You do have a heart.
Maid: But this unit... I... I'm just a robot. I don't have a soul. No one could... Why? How can you-?
Kiyoshi: Look. I don't want to harm you. I don't want to harm anyone if I have to. We're all being used as pawns in this curse. We're being controlled. Even then, the game chooses roles for their compatibility. The game must have chosen your role because of who you really are; Girl or Robot. You want to protect your master. I understand that. I want to protect my friend. Please. Let me talk to your creator, and I'll see if I can explain this all.
Maid: But my orders were... and the mistress...
Kiyoshi: Whoa. Are you okay?
Maid: I'm sorry. I just didn't want to lose her... She's all I had... I tried to... I almost... I'm a horrible servant. But you. You're... It's too much. I can't...
Kiyoshi: What? What's wrong? Stay with me!
Maybe you shouldn't have done that.