You lean back from your desk, tired of writing. Your spines rub against your hands as you fold them behind your head, but it doesn't bother you; they're pliant, so they don't actually hurt.
Your room is filled with all sorts of neat things which could distract you from your homework. Your wardrobe is filled with pretty clothes, and your bookshelf is lined with click manuals and tales of neumen succeeding in the modern world. You have a box on top of your wardrobe, filled with secret things. Okay, maybe not so secret -- everyone knows about your SECRET HOBBY. Hūsan badgers you about it constantly. He's always telling you to stop being such a nerd.
You look out the window, framed by animal skins, and long for the beautiful day outside. Beside your bed is a paging device which you could use to call your friends. But this homework is already overdue...
What will you do?
A text-heavy, image-light forum adventure based around six members of the alien species Harīh and their adventures in SKLIK. This is my first forum adventure, so constructive criticism is appreciated.
Last edited by kittentoes; 04-21-2012 at 12:21 AM.
> Go outside, find a dinosaur, and ride it.
> Or at least daydream about it!
You take a moment to daydream about the dread beasts of yore, who possessed shredding claws (much like your own) and fearsome horns (which you sadly lack). These creatures, these... dinosaurs once dominated the land as you now do, as its apex predators and stalwart custodians.
Except you're pretty sure dinosaurs didn't do much actual custodying.
When the moment has passed, your homework still lies there, judging you. You can feel its metaphorical eyes boring into your very skull. Your uncle is gonna be pissed if you don't finish this stuff, but the principles of spear-hunting as applied to gazelopes... yawn! You can't believe you have to write a whole essay on it. It's better than having to do it, but you'd still rather be doing anything else.
Originally Posted by Jacquerel
Homework is for losers, open secret chest
Absolutely anything else...
Your SECRET BOX calls to you, and you fetch it with a sense of barely-restrained glee. Inside are placemats, rulebooks and your painted figurines, each one ready to take on a war game adventure! You absolutely love this sort of thing, but you can't find anyone to play with you. Your uncle is way too strict to allow it, and all of your friends have parents who are just as stern. You're not even sure why you're friends with some of them -- they're scary.
Speaking of your friends, it looks like one of them is paging you over ChivvyChirp! It's Ārach, judging by the sound of the tone. Man, what is up with that guy? He disappears for weeks and then just pages you out of the blue to talk about click coding. You could answer him and blow off your homework some more, or you could put your nose to the grindstone. You really should put your nose to the grindstone, but you really don't want to.
Last edited by kittentoes; 04-20-2012 at 01:24 AM.
I often find myself questioning my sexuality. I can't help but imagine Scratch emerging from the burning tinder of his room with all his clothes burned off...
Leaving only the black carapache.
does this mean he reached Love Doctor?
Originally Posted by vanquishedValiant
Originally Posted by Rational Absurdity
What divine wonders have I missed in today's comic discussions?
Basically every time something silly happens I produce REALLY SHITTY images VERY FAST
It's like the whole reason I exist in this thread
Originally Posted by Clairvoire
Morality is how we bitch about things we don't like, and pretend to back it up.
Originally Posted by mythmonster2
Also, my return to eyes closed stuff! Surprise: It's a fic!
There once was a beautiful Princess named Feferi Peixes. She was trapped in a dark castle by n evil dragon named Pyalsprite. One day, a prince came to the castly to try and save the princess Feferi. Amd sp he facesd tje drapm wotj hos ,ogjty wamd pf ,agoc. for he was pme pf the greatest weeoxstfd pg s;; yo,r. jsbomh nrrm ytsomrf nuy yjr fstl zYmetac;e Thera[ost herse;f/ Unfortunately, the dragon Pyralspite turned out t be too much for even Eridan ti face. He was forced to retreat. When he teiturned, by turned to the powers of SCIENCE to shelp him save the princess and woo her. Tejecting Tentacle Therapists' magic, he traveled far and wide jearnign the ways of Science. gineally, he found a Slyph nown only as GrimAuxiliatric. hw Vwffws gwe die WAY TO DEFEAT THE GREAT oYRALSPRITE, AND SO gRIMaUXILIATRIV TOOK PITY ON HIM AND GAVE HIM A GREAT science WANT EOYJ EJOVJ YP FRGRSY YJR GPI; NRSDY. HR TRYITMRF YP YJR VSDY;R TRSFU YP GOHJY. NIY JR FODVPBRTRF MSIHJY NR YJR VJSTTRF VPT[RD PG S FTSHPM/ FOR ANOTHER PRINCE, OR RATHER, A MAGE HAD UISED HIS GREAT EYE BEAMS TO VAPORIZE THE DRAGON AND HE HAD REQUED THE PRINCESS FEFERI AND ERIDAN WAS ASD.
Oh good God what have I written. I love how I started off with perfect grammar and everything, but then it devolves into random caps and slashes and brackets.
Talk to Arach. Find out why he has been gone for weeks.
You sit down to answer your chirp, blowing out a familiar little tune on your COMPUMONICA. The sounds produced by the computer cause images to show in your mind, and you see Ārach's voice, carried by sub-sonic waves from far away.
-- philomathPhotograph [PP] began chivvying cyberPhysiologist [CP] at 07:31 --
PP: Hello, Takih.
CP: Where've you been, man?
PP: I have been working.
PP: The issues of SKLIK you forwarded to me have been eradicated.
CP: Ahaha, eradicated, huh? That's pretty taken care of.
CP: But seriously dude: you, where been? You always disappear offa CC these days.
PP: I have other issues I must eliminate.
PP: You know how to reach me if I am unavailable.
CP: No offense, but your mate is kinda scary.
CP: Uh, yeah!
CP: "Regardless", when are we gonna play this game? I'm itchin' to get to it!
CP: It's like the only fun thing my uncle will do with me! I mean aside from coding this it's all essays and hunting trips and fighting stances and YAWN.
PP: An essay would do you well. You should see to it.
CP: I will, I will! But the game, man, the game!
PP: We will be playing presently.
PP: Judiz assures me that you shall be the first.
CP: Something she just saw, huh?
PP: You will soon receive my updated files. Run them as soon as possible.
CP: Gotcha. But, uh, don't I need a server?
PP: I cannot answer every question you have.
PP: I am presently dealing with a situation of grave importance and cannot lead you through this.
CP: Hey, man, you okay? :/
PP: I will be.
PP: Farewell, Takih.
-- philomathPhotograph [PP] ceased chivvying cyberPhysiologist [CP] at 07:44 --
Why is that guy always so chilly? You know he's a good guy, but man, you swear he's keeping you at arm's length sometimes. And that stuff about essays being good for you? Talk about nerds -- that guy is nerd deluxe, right there.
... still, you hope he's okay.
You download the game from his email attachment and check it over. Wow, he really did iron out all the issues you had with it! Those were the last problems you had with the game... now it's ready to play! Your uncle will be so happy with you! This has been an uncle-son project between you two for years.
Originally Posted by Politician
No, you should -definitely- get back to work. Isn't that thing due tomorrow?
Oh, wait, crap. Your uncle. He might be thrilled that SKLIK is finished, but he's still gonna be pissed at you if you don't work.
You'd better get your nose to that grindstone. Sigh. You pick up your pen and paper and continue writing about the most boring subject in existence.
Originally Posted by curiousTerminal
What even is this thing that's got you so procrastinatey?
You get through all of two lines before the siren-song of SKLIK grows too strong for you to resist. You were trying not to think about it, but something just made it pop into your mind! See, SKLIK is gonna be the hottest game in the universe. Your uncle gave you some half-finished click code, and you two have been working to get it into ship-shape ever since.
The funny thing is, you know that the game has a huge amount of potential - you can see that in the code tunes. But the initial game just looks like a building simulator. You're hoping that by playing it yourself, you'll discover what all those epic bits are for.
You can't decide who to call up for your server, though. Hūsan is a nice guy, but he's kind of harsh to you sometimes. Judiz is a nice lady, but she can get kinda cutthroat. You'd never ask Ārach's girlfriend - she's just plain SCARY - and it seems like Ārach is busy with something right now. You know this neulady called Shirung who is fun to chat with, but you've heard some creepy things about her.
... why are all your friends so weird?!
Last edited by kittentoes; 04-20-2012 at 01:22 AM.
Maybe you can -at least- put together an outline for this essay before you start running off to play computronica games of dubious provenance.
Dear Dancers, no. Outlining is almost as boring as writing proper.
Originally Posted by Tamenthail
Contact Judiz - sometimes cutthroat is a good thing.
You decide to at least contact Judiz. She's fun to talk to, and she might have some good advice on who your server should be.
-- cyberPhysiologist [CP] began chivvying silkySetaceous [SS] at 09:17 --
CP: Hiya, Judiz!
SS: hi, what's up?
CP: Not much. I'm trying to avoid finishing this essay. And SKLIK is finally finished!!
SS: I knew it would get done eventually. :)
SS: so are you going to play? you should definitely be the first one to play, you were the one to first start working on it.
CP: Yeah, I'm totally going to play. I'm gonna build the best house, you don't even know.
SS: oh I think I have a good idea!
CP: Haha, I guess you would. How come you know so much, huh?
SS: if I told you, you'd never believe me!
SS: ha ha. nah, I'm just good at keeping up with all the latest gossip.
CP: You're way better at it than I am!
SS: so who are you going to ask to server for you?
You pause. Should you really ask Judiz to be your server? You know that the code is hard-locked, so you won't be able to change once you choose. She seems to be in a good mood today, so maybe she won't pull one of her stunts "for the greater good"... but you can never tell with your friends.
Last edited by kittentoes; 04-20-2012 at 01:25 AM.
CP: Hang on, lemme get my dice. I'm gonna decide this randomlike!
CP: Okay, here's a d6...
CP: I'm rolling! Can't stop me now!
SS: oh boy! :D
CP: Oh GOD no.
CP: Dice why would you do this to me?!
CP: Can I just... ignore the dice?
SS: it's up to you!
SS: could you live with yourself if you ignored it?
SS: could you live with the bad luck of fudging a roll?
CP: But... but it landed on six, man! Six! That's Ishum!
SS: you could always claim best two out of three?
CP: No man, the dice are staring at me. Judging me.
CP: I'm sure it won't be that bad. I mean, she's scary, but is okay with her...
SS: no seriously best two out of three.
CP: Could I live with myself if I ignored THE DICE?
CP: I think not!
CP: I'm just gonna march up to her and be all like, "hey Ishum, be my server!"
SS: and she'll be all like "hey dweeb, tripped into any entrail pits lately?"
CP: Y...yeah probably.
CP: But I won't know until I try!
CP: This is Takih, signin' off.
-- cyberPhysiologist [CP] ceased chivvying silkySetaceous [SS] at 15:08 --
Oh god. What are you thinking? Ishum as your server? That's a terrible idea. That is the worst of ideas. She's gonna chew you up and spit you out like yesterday's venison. But you've already resolved to do this, so you'd better go do it.
-- cyberPhysiologist [CP] began chivvying acidicDiarist [AD] at 15:13 --
CP: Hi Ishum!
AD: why are you talking to me
AD: i didn't order any geeks today
CP: Um... I know you didn't, but I wanted to ask you something!
CP: I didn't even say what I wanted yet!
CP: Look come on, all I want you to do is server for me. C'mon, it's not like anyone else is gonna want you as theirs.
AD: let me check my journal
AD: all out of fucks to give about you or anyone else
AD: come back never
-- acidicDiarist [AD] ceased pestering cyberPhysiologist [CP] at 15:17 --
CP: Hey! No way, come back here!
CP: I'm not gonna accept no for an answer!
AD: you're adventurous today
AD: bossing me around
AD: like you're not some piddly neuman nerd
CP: Would you shut up about my gender for one second? Dancin' hell, you always bring that up when I talk to you!
AD: because you are
AD: a piddly
CP: Okay, look.
CP: If you're my server, you get to do all sorts of stuff to my game house.
CP: You could even trash it!
CP: Don't you want the opportunity to break something, Issy?
AD: don't call me that you impossible arsehole
AD: i was going to play this game with ārach, why should i play it with you instead
CP: You'll still be playing the game with him! We're all gonna play together, remember?
AD: i don't remember agreeing to anything like that
CP: Well, that was the plan!
CP: We're all gonna link up in something called a "session", with a "client-server" chain.
AD: your quotes are obnoxious as hell btw
CP: So basically, if you server for me you'll still get to play with Ārach.
CP: How about it?
AD: you realise what you're asking me
AD: you want me, ishum, to have power over your game experience
AD: are you actively trying to sabotage yourself
CP: Look, the dice said so, and I'm not gonna argue with the dice.
AD: you're insane
AD: i'll play your stupid game
AD: gimme the files
CP: Sending them now...
HOURS IN THE FUTURE (but not many)
You are HŪSAN OF NANGUH. Your best buddy just got you into SKLIK, which involved a long and drawn-out process best left to the imagination. It involved a rock and a mirror, and it left you feeling very unlucky.
You've been dumped into some islandy place with no explanation. A skullish abomination is floating next to you, trying to get your attention.
SS: WELCOME TO THE LAND OF THE DEAD.
SS: I AM SKULL LORD, YOUR GUIDE.
SS: LAND OF THE DEAD. SKULL LORD. GUIDE.
SS: ACTUALLY, THIS IS THE LAND OF ISLANDS AND LONELINESS.
SS: AND YOU HAVE A LONG ROAD AHEAD OF YOU, GUARD!
OA: No seriously
SS: LET ME EXPLAIN!
SS: SKLIK IS A JOURNEY OF MANY DEATHS!
SS: YOU WILL FACE CHALLENGES AND HAVE YOUR BONDS CHALLENGED!
SS: A CACOPHONY OF SCREAMING AWAITS THOSE WHO FAIL TO SUCCEED!
OA: Why is a skull talking to me
SS: THAT'S SKULL LORD TO YOU, BUDDY!
OA: How can you even talk
OA: How is this a thing
OA: How is this a thing that is
SS: OKAY LOOK.
SS: LOOK UP.
SS: GO THROUGH THEM.
SS: GET SUCCESS!
SS: I'M GONNA GO SEE IF THE ENEMIES ARE ANY BETTER CONVERSATION THAN YOU.
SS: BE ON THE LOOK OUT FOR THOSE, BY THE WAY.
SS: OR FACE A CERTAIN DEATH!
What the hell is this guy talking about. The Land of Islands and Loneliness? Well, this must be the result of Takih's game. It saved you from the meteors, at least. Right on, buddy! You knew that little nerd had it in him.
You really hope Judiz is okay, though. You brought your computicorder with you when you went out searching for your aunt, so you could probably message her. But what if she thinks you're coming on too strong? But there are meteors.
Wow is it ever hard being a teenager.
You can hear rustling coming from further inside the island, and remember the Skull Lord's words about enemies. Perhaps you ought to arm yourself? You're a strong hunter, and so you must have a strong weapon, whatever it may be.
Last edited by kittentoes; 04-20-2012 at 08:54 PM.
You're a "strong" hunter - you don't need a weapon, you are a weapon.
Alternately, go find that Skull Lord guy again. He could make for a pretty good flail in a pinch.
All Harīh, even that spindly nerd you call a best friend, can use themselves as weapons. You received the Clawkind specibus when you were very young, and you're excellent at using your claws.
You recently passed 16 years of age, and so you were allowed to choose a second specialty. You could have chosen any number of noble pursuits - but you chose the manliest of them all.
You're not sure whether that sprite of yours counts as a body, but you're willing to bet on it. And hey, here come some weird little fellas, so you'd better go grab that skull lord before they decide you're dinner.
SS: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
OA: Grabbing you, duh
OA: So why won't it work?
SS: BECAUSE I'M A SPRITE. GODDAMN SON WERE YOU BORN WITH ROCKS IN YOUR SKULL.
SS: THE SKULL LORD IS DISPLEASED!
OA: Yeah yeah, whatever
OA: So what are these little dudes?
SS: THOSE AREN'T "LITTLE DUDES". THEYRE IMPS.
SS: AND THEY'LL RIP YOU A NEW ONE IF YOU LET YOUR GUARD DOWN!
You don't need to be told twice. With powerful movements and an awesome battle theme (left to the imagination), you decimate the skull-wearing imps in your path. Your swath of destruction leads you further into the island, and you hear a quiet glubbing noise.
You go further into the island, searching for the glubby sound. Eventually you find a little salamander, who looks up at you and glubs. You wonder how it tastes.
Glub, it says. I'm lost. Glub glub glub. I can't find my mommy.
Well, shit. You can't eat anything which talks to you! You offer to escort the kid around the island until you find its mommy. It accepts (glub glub), and you decide to name it MISSY MARIZ, because it is totally a her. You and Missy stride out across the island, in search of Missy's missing mother.
Nothing bad could possibly result from bringing along a helpless NPC.
In fact, it sounds like you just gained a more permanent armament for your bodykind specibus.
ALSO YOU SHOULD PERHAPS LOOK BEHIND YOU REAL QUICK
Originally Posted by Ellume
Knowing that danger is at every turn your senses are alert... Was that a growl you just heard?
Normally, your senses aren't the best. You're usually too busy bragging to notice the big things, not that you'd never admit it. But you've been thrown into some wacky reality-altering game -- you're at your best right now.
And that's why your ears pick up the sound of a low growl. Missy hears it too, looking behind her with wide eyes. You see it out of the corner of your eye, and tell her it's her job to get the skull off that thing. She says glub glub, okay, but how am I gonna do tha--
Anything Missy might have said to you is cut off as you lob her right towards the monster. Go go bodykind! She screams as she sails towards it.
THUNK. Missy Mariz hits the monster right on the skull, and she scrabbles to get purchase on it before the ogre beats her with its giant fists.
You'd better get in there, and fast!
Just as Missy manages to get the skull off of its face, you leap towards it, your claws running down its obsidian face. Something black oozes out of the wounds, and the creature staggers backwards, holding its wounded cheek in a hand.