Sex Ed Thread Six (Sex, Gender, and Relationship Q&A)

[Kiwizoom]

I had to go outside once

I got tan lines around my watch and sandals

[unbeliever536]

My watch gives me pressure lines. At the most bizarre angle. It's like... (hand goes here)|//|(rest of arm) where the slashes are lines and the strokes are the general area where I am wearing my watch. That would be the underside of my wrist.

As for tanning, has anyone else noticed that they look more tanned after exercising? I feel like that has happened to me, but it might just be the light.

On topic, uh...any advice for getting/staying on good terms with a roommate? I've had good and (one) bad experiences, but they were all limited to three weeks. Any advice for a longer term deal?

That's sort of a relationship thing, right?

[Ace of Dark-Hearts]

@Unbeliever: That's because your blood is pumping harder and shows more through your skin, making it appear darker.

Anybody gettin' some SICK tan lines this summer? My face, neck, arms, and legs below the knee are like like a bronze color, while anywhere that is covered by a T shirt, shorts, or shoes is as pasty pale as can be.

Most of my skin is a nice light-golden, but my thighs are pasty white and it's really gorgeous.

I used to have a farmer's tan and be really ashamed of it, so I cut the sleeves off of a long sleeve tee, put them over where I was tanned, and went outside until I evened out.

[Kiwizoom]

Maybe your skin gets more tan after working out because the skin gets more flush through blood flow.

I've had a lot of bad roommates. I don't know if there's really a code for that

[unbeliever536]

I used to have a farmer's tan and be really ashamed of it, so I cut the sleeves off of a long sleeve tee, put them over where I was tanned, and went outside until I evened out.

Stop reminding me of Princess Mononoke. Stop.

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[meticulousDraftsman]

My watch gives me pressure lines. At the most bizarre angle. It's like... (hand goes here)|//|(rest of arm) where the slashes are lines and the strokes are the general area where I am wearing my watch. That would be the underside of my wrist.

As for tanning, has anyone else noticed that they look more tanned after exercising? I feel like that has happened to me, but it might just be the light.

On topic, uh...any advice for getting/staying on good terms with a roommate? I've had good and (one) bad experiences, but they were all limited to three weeks. Any advice for a longer term deal?

That's sort of a relationship thing, right?

If there's something that's bothering you, talk about it. If you don't then they'll assume it's alright and you'll just get more annoyed, and they'll get angry/confused later when you eventually do bring it up because you never brought it up before. Encourage them to reciprocate this.
Most clashes can be handled with this mindset, but going over simple things like how schedules will overlap and sleep schedules are good to keep in mind too.

As for tans, last summer I worked laying cable and hanging lights for an outdoor festival, so I got all farmer'd. This summer I've been working in a lab. Bit less sunny.

[Rincebrain]

If there's something that's bothering you, talk about it. If you don't then they'll assume it's alright and you'll just get more annoyed, and they'll get angry/confused later when you eventually do bring it up because you never brought it up before. Encourage them to reciprocate this.
Most clashes can be handled with this mindset, but going over simple things like how schedules will overlap and sleep schedules are good to keep in mind too.

Seconding this. Every problem I've ever had with a housemate has been because one party didn't talk about something that bothered them, or that the two parties had a diametrically opposed and irreconcilable view on something [e.g. "mice are unavoidable, why do anything about them"].

I don't care how awkward or annoying it is, if it bothers you, bring it up - it won't do anyone any good in the long run to not. Trust me, I've had a lot of roommates.

[Chirijiradin]

I don't tan too well, I just burn :/

I do have a residual farmer's tan from having to push carts at Wal-Mart for my job two summers ago, and it won't go away. I can't get it evened out either, because I refuse to remove my shirt where people can see me...

[YoshiEgg360]

I am the whitest person on the face of the planet. I don't tan, I scald.

[Elementoid]

I've developed a pretty good tan from my job outdoors. Except it's a farmer's tan, and I have a visible band where I wear my watch. Earlier this summer I was thinking "wow I'm going to be really tan and it'll be super sexy" but now that I have it I just don't care that much.

In addition, I discovered something interesting the other day - I don't find my body wholly unappealing. I still don't feel particularly attractive but I don't feel unattractive. Either I've lost some weight, I've hit a growth spurt, my self-esteem has improved, my aesthetics have changed, or summer vacation's gone on long enough that I don't subconsciously compare myself to my peers anymore. Probably a combination of all 5. No matter the case, it's a personal victory.

[Fish]

That sounds awesome Elemmentoid.

Whenever I go outside to do stuff like cutting grass and hanging clothes and bicycle riding I take my shirt off, but it doesn't really change my colouration. I usually need to get a good burn before I tan.

[Ace of Dark-Hearts]

When I go outside to get tan I bring my laptop

Also, good for you, Elementoid. When I look at myself in the mirror I want to cry sometimes.

[AquaFresh]

Okaaaayyy so I'm a girl and I don't have a "sex-drive."
I like people more for their personality, because I'm looking for a more serious relationship. Not that I find someone physically unattractive; I can easily say that they are smoking hot and they've got curves in the right places and all that jazz, but I can say it without wanting them inside of me or in a perverted kind of way. So what do I say when someone asks me about my sexuality? If a girl's personality is good enough I'd definitely date them, etc.


Also, I got a natural tan! I get really really tan if I stay outside so I stay within the confounds of my room though. Personally, I dislike my tan because it makes me different from everyone else here since I live in a generally white neighborhood.

[Elementoid]

From that brief description, it sounds like you might be asexual, which is a sexual orientation defined by varying degrees of not being interested in having sex with other people. One of our resident aces can describe it a lot better than I and a wikipedia article, though.

[avolitionalArtisan]

That, or you could just not be as sexual as most people are. It's not a clear line with sexual people on one side and asexuals on the other. There's more of a spectrum, including stuff like sexual but not really caring about it too much, mostly asexual but still experiencing sexual attraction, etcetera.

You could read up on asexuality and its various subtypes regardless, as even if none of it feels like you it might still be an interesting lesson.

[lambentLogic]

Far as saying your orientation I'd say you should say basically what you said here - That it's not really the body you care about looking for someone to date, you'd be fine with any gender. If you want just a label, probably falls under pansexual unless you decide to discard the sexual, but I can't choose between bi and pan myself so I'm probably not the best to give advice on that front.

[TwoKillerMockingbirds]

It does sound like a bi/panromantic asexualism to me. I found that AVEN and its wiki had some really interesting information, if you'd like to read about it more: http://www.asexuality.org/home/

I've found that much the same thing happens to me. I look at people as beautiful. but it's more like staring at a flower, and I don't particularly feel any desire to rub myself over flowers.

That said, labels are what you make of them. Telling people you're asexual often leads to people questioning if you spore or bud, or undergo mitosis. Some aces just find it easier to describe themselves as sexuals and if they ever end up dating anyone bring it up.

In the end, describe yourself as what you're comfortable with

[egregiousBass]

Okaaaayyy so I'm a girl and I don't have a "sex-drive."
I like people more for their personality, because I'm looking for a more serious relationship. Not that I find someone physically unattractive; I can easily say that they are smoking hot and they've got curves in the right places and all that jazz, but I can say it without wanting them inside of me or in a perverted kind of way. So what do I say when someone asks me about my sexuality? If a girl's personality is good enough I'd definitely date them, etc.

I feel the same way insofar as caring more about personality since I'm looking for a serious relationship. And being sexually attracted to someone does not mean you want sex with them! I wager that goes for most people. If you're like me, then you might find that you do have a sex drive once you're emotionally intimate with someone. I've had two different sexual partners and I wasn't physically attracted to either of them at first.

As for "If a girl's personality is good enough I'd definitely date them"... I kinda feel the same way. I've had a huge crush on a girl before, but she was a lesbian

[Varkarrus]

asexuals can actually have a sex-drive, just going to clear that up.
in fact
mine has actually really been irking me as of late
do you even realize how frustrating it is
being horny and not being able to do anything about it
i mean argh

[User 18]

I feel the same way insofar as caring more about personality since I'm looking for a serious relationship. And being sexually attracted to someone does not mean you want sex with them! I wager that goes for most people. If you're like me, then you might find that you do have a sex drive once you're emotionally intimate with someone. I've had two different sexual partners and I wasn't physically attracted to either of them at first.

Yeah, this sounds a lot like me. I wouldn't have sex right now no matter who the other person was, but I think if I found myself in a relationship, I would come to a point where I would be comfortable with sex with that person.

[Kiwizoom]

I don't think they have a good word yet for barely sexual and gender careless, when people bring it up it does seem to go into this debate of a little bit of this or that. I think part of it is the labels are magnetized to a certain opinion of preference but the person generally has no preference and no strong appeal. Also, a lot of people come to the conclusion of being a certain -sexual besides bi les or gay, which leads me to believe the idea of not being wholly attracted to people all the time or being rather open with preferences is common. Perhaps it is media and the idea of our social community and its expectations that gives the illusion of normal peoples having an abnormal ever-present sex drive.

[Bandages]

A "healthy" sex drive is "normal"

Quotation marks because healthy and normal both carry value but really shouldn't in this context

[Tirgo]

i personally feel think putting your sexuality into categories is dumb because you can't explain a person's feelings in one word.

[Ace of Dark-Hearts]

gender careless

Pansexual.

Anyway, I try to stay out of these debates because it's mostly just people trying to shoehorn certain qualities into a narrow definition.

That being said, I think you should choose the orientation you think is best, or don't even try to get technical.

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

Besides, each and every time someone says "I'm not as horny as other peeps seem to be" everyone jumps in and says " YOU MUST BE ASEXUAL!"

Erm, no.