Sex Ed Thread Six (Sex, Gender, and Relationship Q&A)

[chezrush]

Getting girlfriend to read Homestuck. Everyone cross your fingers.

Fingers = crossed.

Also I need some help: I already have some girl I kind of like (even though I broke up with my last one like 3 weeks ago). She is really into dub step. I kind of like it but not really a fan of it. I want to be honest with her, but I don't know if I should lie to keep the relationship going. Then again I should probably wait a bit until I get another girlfriend. Probably going to wait. What do you guys think?

[DecidedlyDevious]

Honestly, if not enjoying a certain type of music is automatic grounds of disqualification for the position of "significant other", she isn't really someone who'd be worth dating. If that sentence was too confusing, I'm saying be honest, and if she doesn't care she's a keeper and if it's a big deal then drop her like a sack of month-old potatoes.

[Coalesce]

Also I need some help: I already have some girl I kind of like (even though I broke up with my last one like 3 weeks ago). She is really into dub step. I kind of like it but not really a fan of it. I want to be honest with her, but I don't know if I should lie to keep the relationship going. Then again I should probably wait a bit until I get another girlfriend. Probably going to wait. What do you guys think?

Pretty much what DD said, if she likes Dubstep but acknowledges that other people don't like it and is fine with that, than it shouldn't be an issue. It'll give you something trivial to have fun arguing about without caring too much about who's right. Though, do give your friend's music a chance. I found my current favorite band by checking it out after arguing with my crush about it for months. Ya never know what you might find, and sometimes you'll surprise yourself by genuinely liking something!

[razorknight]

http://soundcloud.com/djcutman/the-legend-of-dubstep

You might be pretty meh about Dubstep, but then again, I think I was, too, before I heard "The Legend of Dubstep."

It's a mix of a bunch of artists who made videogame and anime themed dubstep.

I think it's pretty great, but if you don't like it, then that's totally cool, too.

[Drillgorg]

Getting girlfriend to read Homestuck. Everyone cross your fingers.

Read it with her! One of the first things my girlfriend and I bonded over was reading Homestuck together!

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Our first kiss was when we got to the end of the MC intermission

[knottedOdyssey]

Read it with her! One of the first things my girlfriend and I bonded over was reading Homestuck together!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Our first kiss was when we got to the end of the MC intermission

DRILLGORG THAT IS SUPER ADORABLE
oh man i am falling down all these adorable stairs

[Arares]

Okay, so. I'd like to tell about my situation, and see what you think. Because life is easier when you share your issues with strangers.

The thing is, I have the weirdest relationship with sex. In that I don't enjoy it. I have a very... uhm, openminded background. My friends are very sexually diverse, and even some of those who now call themselves straight have paid a few visits to the other side of the road. When we were like 14 or 15 we sometimes played truth or dare, which was an excuse to engage in a comunal makeout session. But I guess some uf us went too far too soon and I couldn't take it.

I never really enjoyed sex, alone or accompanied. It's like 'yeah, I guess it's nice, uh, shouldn't... something... be happening? Or something?'. The same goes for love, or really, any close emotional bonding. I have had some physical contacts over the years, a couple drunken makeout sessions with a female friend of mine, and the same with some boy so her friend would let me get under her umbrella. Also with alcohol involved. But my only real sexual contact has been with some dude some months ago, a mystic experience that didn't go very far and showed me that I'm not to be trusted with prophylactics when I'm drunk.

The thing is, I don't let myself thing about it usually (well, except when I'm wasted), but sometimes I angst quite pathetically about the whole thing. It's been seven years since me and my friends made out for science!, and someday I'd like to get ovet this (and it's reached a point where I don't really mind what kind of genitalia my saviour has) and not angst anymore and no have issues.

Well, thanks.

[chezrush]

Okay, so. I'd like to tell about my situation, and see what you think. Because life is easier when you share your issues with strangers.

The thing is, I have the weirdest relationship with sex. In that I don't enjoy it. I have a very... uhm, openminded background. My friends are very sexually diverse, and even some of those who now call themselves straight have paid a few visits to the other side of the road. When we were like 14 or 15 we sometimes played truth or dare, which was an excuse to engage in a comunal makeout session. But I guess some uf us went too far too soon and I couldn't take it.

I never really enjoyed sex, alone or accompanied. It's like 'yeah, I guess it's nice, uh, shouldn't... something... be happening? Or something?'. The same goes for love, or really, any close emotional bonding. I have had some physical contacts over the years, a couple drunken makeout sessions with a female friend of mine, and the same with some boy so her friend would let me get under her umbrella. Also with alcohol involved. But my only real sexual contact has been with some dude some months ago, a mystic experience that didn't go very far and showed me that I'm not to be trusted with prophylactics when I'm drunk.

The thing is, I don't let myself thing about it usually (well, except when I'm wasted), but sometimes I angst quite pathetically about the whole thing. It's been seven years since me and my friends made out for science!, and someday I'd like to get ovet this (and it's reached a point where I don't really mind what kind of genitalia my saviour has) and not angst anymore and no have issues.

Well, thanks.

I would reccomend getting close to someone first. Really really close. Also if that doesn't work, I would reccomend telling a psychiatrist. They might know what to do.

[kyriaki]

Nobody ever said you had to like sex. Maybe you're just asexual? (though in some cases lack of arousal can be a medical symptom so it can't hurt to check with a doctor)

But there's not necessarily anything wrong with you just because you don't like sex.

[AdurnaFricai]

It seems to me like your problem is a combination of a mammalian sex drive and bad reactions to social norms. Whether or not you're asexual, there is nothing wrong with not having sex. Heck, there's nothing wrong with not having sexual feelings or getting pleasure from any you have, and it doesn't make you asexual. The WORST thing to do here would be to get drunk more often so you can enjoy sexuality. Enjoyment while intoxicated is just your instincts as an animal, and pretty much meaningless when it comes to your personal sexuality.

I'd say the best thing to do here is wait. Your situation at the moment seems to be stable and isn't causing big problems, so just wait for it to change. In the mean time, remember that there isn't actually anything weird about your situation, and in fact it's better than a lot of people. Seems to me like you just have one less stressor than the rest of us. If you're asexual, then your situation is how you'll be happiest. If not, then you've got a dormant source of pleasure just waiting to pop up and make you happy.


Unrelated: I've decided that in stead of shunning words to describe myself, I'll make words up and change the meanings as I see fit. For the moment, I am of the Apathetic gender, oligaromantic, and... haven't figured out one for sexual preference, still waiting for hormones to calm down first

[BewareOfNerd]

I'm Apathetic too. My preferred pronoun is 'meh.'

(Kidding about the pronoun thing, but still)

[Wiwaxia]

oligaromantic

Nice word.
Little/scarce romantic attraction? (or am I getting my roots wrong?)


I kinda want to go nuts with the Greco-Latin roots and make up my own words for my personal inclinations, now. But I fall pretty neatly and happily into existing categories, so it'd just be redundant.

[PaladinFoster]

Read it with her! One of the first things my girlfriend and I bonded over was reading Homestuck together!

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Our first kiss was when we got to the end of the MC intermission

I should really find some time to do that, what with school not having wifi and all. Also I just puked a rainbow from that little bit in the spoiler.

[AdurnaFricai]

I'm Apathetic too. My preferred pronoun is 'meh.'

(Kidding about the pronoun thing, but still)

Nice word.
Little/scarce romantic attraction? (or am I getting my roots wrong?)


I kinda want to go nuts with the Greco-Latin roots and make up my own words for my personal inclinations, now. But I fall pretty neatly and happily into existing categories, so it'd just be redundant.

Oh my, have I started a thing? Hm...
Anyway, I chose apathetic because, while being male doesn't feel like a description of me, I'm too lazy to figure it out. I've pretty much always been called both sets of pronouns, because I have long hair, and I've never had a problem with it.
Oligaromantic because I tend towards romantic attractions to groups rather than individuals. Long story, but I'm sorta in platonic love with like several dozen people from a specific group.

Drillgorg, is adorable the right word for someone like twice your age? Because that post was adorable.

[chezrush]

http://soundcloud.com/djcutman/the-legend-of-dubstep

You might be pretty meh about Dubstep, but then again, I think I was, too, before I heard "The Legend of Dubstep."

It's a mix of a bunch of artists who made videogame and anime themed dubstep.

I think it's pretty great, but if you don't like it, then that's totally cool, too.

Woah. That's actually really cool. But I decided to take a break. She apparently already had a crush on some other guy anyways.

[Hatman Hatmyth Hatlegend]

wubwubwubwubwubwubwubwubwub

[Avi]

Oh deffos PF, if someone asks you out and you don't have anything better going on and you don't hate them, you should go for it!

Here, I'll describe how I got together with my first girlfriend because it's vaguely similar:

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Ok girl names==>flower names.

So junior year of high school, I've never dated anyone before. I had a crush on this girl Lily, I was pretty into her and we hung out occasionally and were on the same robotics team (anyone I was friends with in high school was on the same robotics team so you can just assume that from now on.) Now for REASONS UNKNOWN Lily didn't return these feelings. I guess I was fooling myself that it was going to work out with her somehow even though she'd been pretty clear about that (in the nicest way possible, of course), so I wasn't considering anyone else as possible romantic partners.

I was also friends with Lily's friend Tulip, Tulip and I actually watched Battlestar Galactica together every Friday night. Had never thought of Tulip as more than a friend though, she had a boyfriend (my friend Watermelon). Well like right then recently she had broken up with Watermelon, I didn't pay much attention because I was being weird about liking Lily who didn't like me back.

Then this one guy who isn't important and doesn't need a name, told me he'd overheard Tulip ask Lily if me and Lily were an item. Lily had said no, and that Tulip should "go for that". At this point I was like whaaaaaaa-. But then I went to a small party Tulip was hosting (not a crazy party, just some friends) and me and Tulip ended up makin' out and then I was like do you want to be dating, and she was like yes.

Apparently there were no hard feelings with Watermelon because things had been trailing off between them for a while? Anyway I hope you liked that story PF, it was all true except the names.

I wish real life was like Cucumber Quest and we were all named after foods and stuff

[Drillgorg]

Avi I hadn't actually noticed until now that I was almost following a Cucumber Quest naming motif there, maybe it was my subconscious telling me to get caught back up on CQ?

[Bandages]

Maybe you were just hungry?

[Miraculous]

So, my boyfriend and I had sex today and it got me wondering about the male orgasm. Details in the spoilers because man-on-man action is simply way too hot.

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Basically, I apparently have considerable endurance. Maybe it's because I'm not especially sensitive, but it took me about twenty minutes to hit orgasm through a combination of mouth and hand stimulation. Even then, it took some actual lube to get the job done. Now, let's just say I shot quite high. As in, landed on my chest and hit my bf in the face kind of high. (Now do you understand the spolier?) I went to work on my boyfriend, but he had to leave for work soon so I had to make it a quick job. When he came, it struck around his belly button.

Basically my question is about the mechanism of the male orgasm. I figure mine was a bit more intense due to a more thorough 'workout', but I suppose I was wondering exactly how it works. For science. And future reference. Somehow, I felt better asking here than Google.

[Bandages]

well I can't speak too intimately about my knowledge of male orgasm, but I do know it has a lot to do with muscle tension. If it took you longer, your muscles may have been more tense or more developed hence the high flying soldiers

it also explains why you can control a male orgasm by remembering to breathe regularly and relax anything that starts to tense. fun fact: if you want to come fast, just take deep breaths and hold them. I think it comes naturally, but it'll produce much quicker results :I

[DecidedlyDevious]

Orgasm is about tension and stress. The more stress there is on you physically and mentally, the easier it will be for you to orgasm. If you are too stressed, you get things like ED and premature ejaculation.

As for "shooting range" well everybody's comes out at different speeds. Though I have noticed that when I'm receiving stimulation from others it's a lot farther than when I'm doing it myself. What controls this are your kegel muscles. The stronger they are the easier it is to hold fluids down, making them propel farther and faster when you let it go, or slower when you gain real control of them. To locate them and figure out how to flex 'em, the next time you pee, stop your flow for 5 seconds and then let go, and then stop again and let go again. Those are your kegel muscles. To exercise em, just flex them as if you were peeing and do it until you feel like stopping. You can do it anywhere since it's not really a noticeable exercise. If you get them strong you can control your semen flow, so you can cum later or earlier or orgasm multiple times!

[PaladinFoster]

This Saturday will be my me and my girlfriend's second date. I told my parents about us dating separately, and I noticed the two reacted slightly differently. My father congratulated me in a manner almost as if I were one of his friends, though was decidedly less vulgar about it, then gave me a few tips. My mother predictably got a little sentimental and asked all kinds of questions about my girlfriend. Sure, my dad did too, but my mother seemed more keen on knowing her and even requested to meet her if we decide to go on a third date. This is shaping up to be a terrific relationship so far.

Orgasm is about tension and stress. The more stress there is on you physically and mentally, the easier it will be for you to orgasm. If you are too stressed, you get things like ED and premature ejaculation.

As for "shooting range" well everybody's comes out at different speeds. Though I have noticed that when I'm receiving stimulation from others it's a lot farther than when I'm doing it myself. What controls this are your kegel muscles. The stronger they are the easier it is to hold fluids down, making them propel farther and faster when you let it go, or slower when you gain real control of them. To locate them and figure out how to flex 'em, the next time you pee, stop your flow for 5 seconds and then let go, and then stop again and let go again. Those are your kegel muscles. To exercise em, just flex them as if you were peeing and do it until you feel like stopping. You can do it anywhere since it's not really a noticeable exercise. If you get them strong you can control your semen flow, so you can cum later or earlier or orgasm multiple times!

Why does this sound like it came from a sexy version of that life hacker website? Thanks for sharing.

[opuk0]

Alright, never thought i'd be coming to this thread due to my non existent social life, but here we are.

A month ago, April 1st to be precise, I met a lovely dame at a con I attended. I actually wasn't even looking for a special someone at the time, I just wanted to gather up a bunch of homestuckers and sing the "When you see a nice girl" Homestuck song with everyone! But skipping that day, we've known each other for a month now and we're basically the gender flipped version of each other. Obviously not 100%, more like 80%. But regardless, we are extremely compatible and love each other dearly.

Problem is, she has Polyamory/is Polyamorous or however you spell it. Basically what it means, is that she can't just love one person at a time, it has to be everyone she loves at the same time. Which to my knowledge is me, an old friend of hers, and a fellow she just told me about today. This fellow shall be named C henceforth.

This morning, she told me that during the past month of April, she'd fallen in love with not only me but C as well. Obviously i'm hurt about it, but I told her that I was okay with her being in love with C. Except i'm not. I know that nowadays, relationships are much more complex than the simple two person love equation. But it still bothers me that i'm not the center of her attention, I feel as if i'm just another guy.

I told her how I felt, and she assured me that she loved me from the bottom of her heart, but I still can't fully believe her on the matter.

I love her deeply, and that's why I told her what I did, but I just can't get that nauseous feeling out of my heart. I feel like i'll eventually fade out of her life without making any difference in her life.

I really don't know where i'm trying to go with this, i'm just really confused @-@ I've dealt with betrayal before, but this isn't quite it, since I gave her my consent.Though i'm pretty sure even if I told her I didn't want her to love C, it wouldn't really stop her from doing so.

I'm sorry for wasting everyones precious friday night time to read this

[Bandages]

If someone's lifestyle makes you uncomfortable, and it is something that they are fully in their right to believe, then it might be best for you to seek romantic fulfillment elsewhere. This girl is actually being quite fair to you in letting you know forthright that she cannot love just one person. The alternative would be either harboring feelings for many people while being with one and being consumed with guilt, or effectively emotionally or physically cheating on their partner.

By letting you know her stance and how she is, she is giving you the information you need to make your own decision. Can you be with a polyamorous person? Clearly it makes you unhappy, so perhaps its just not in the cards.. You've known her for a month, which is not enough time to intimately get to know a person. A lot of things that seem rosy now and oh how happy she makes you might not do it for you in a few months. Especially the constant nagging fear that she's thinking of/being with someone else.

I'd move on if I were in the shoes you have described yourself wearing. Stay friends, if you want, but you can probably assume you will always be attracted to her loving and accepting personality.

That's my precious friday advice : p