Well, I am about 50 posts away from 10,000.
I feel this should be spectacular. After all, 10000 posts. Only 16 other forumites have that distinction and I am about to join them. I should be having parties, and making out with people I normally wouldn't because I am so drunk on this success. The party should never stop. Ascending to 5 digits, and being the only one who has joined in 2011 to do so? Such achievements are sought after by people with no lives for months before they lose interest and/or gain a girlfriend (or boyfriend too I guess). To have achieved such distinction... Why it is unparalleled.
However, I hold a great, great shame. I can't think of what to do for my 10,000 post.
Oh I have gone through the motions. I thought of a joke post, but for 10,000? It would be an insult to the achievement. Something sentimental, like posting in the same thread as my first post? Considered, but still lacking a certain flare. Going on a fake rant and never showing up on the forums again? Considered once again, but my self-discipline would never hold.
Oh woe is me, who is trapped in a choice I cannot make. What can I do? What should I do?
So finally, after consulting some dark gods, an eight ball, a squeegee, and my hero, The incarnation of every rich as fuck dude ever, I have come to a conclusion.
If I cannot make my 10,000 post amazing, I will simply sell it to someone who can. So come peons. State the price and your idea for the best post ever, and the winner gets the honor and glory of having their own 10,000 post (by proxy).
The time limit is until I hit 9,999.