10,000 post for sale! Bidding raised to your soul. Or an equivalent, like a muffin.

[kaoticAntagonist]

Well, I am about 50 posts away from 10,000.

I feel this should be spectacular. After all, 10000 posts. Only 16 other forumites have that distinction and I am about to join them. I should be having parties, and making out with people I normally wouldn't because I am so drunk on this success. The party should never stop. Ascending to 5 digits, and being the only one who has joined in 2011 to do so? Such achievements are sought after by people with no lives for months before they lose interest and/or gain a girlfriend (or boyfriend too I guess). To have achieved such distinction... Why it is unparalleled.

However, I hold a great, great shame. I can't think of what to do for my 10,000 post.

Oh I have gone through the motions. I thought of a joke post, but for 10,000? It would be an insult to the achievement. Something sentimental, like posting in the same thread as my first post? Considered, but still lacking a certain flare. Going on a fake rant and never showing up on the forums again? Considered once again, but my self-discipline would never hold.

Oh woe is me, who is trapped in a choice I cannot make. What can I do? What should I do?

So finally, after consulting some dark gods, an eight ball, a squeegee, and my hero, The incarnation of every rich as fuck dude ever, I have come to a conclusion.

If I cannot make my 10,000 post amazing, I will simply sell it to someone who can. So come peons. State the price and your idea for the best post ever, and the winner gets the honor and glory of having their own 10,000 post (by proxy).

The time limit is until I hit 9,999.

[chimaeraUndying]

Post a photo of yourself holding a giant "10,000!" sign?

Alternatively, consult a magic cue ball. I've got one that I can rent the services of, if you're interested.

[Descriptor]

When you reach it, can I have some of your posts?

I am seriously deficient in posts.
Just look at my posting rate!

[Dentrala]

Um excuse me! There is no possible way to celebrate a large post milestone except through gratuitous gifs and copious colors.


e; oh hey I'm almost there, neat

[Andrew Ryan]

Can I put in my mother's leg as a bid?

Also, my proxy post would be a portal to R'yleh so that we can all meet Cthulu!

ALL HAIL THE ELDER GODS!!! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!!

[Kíeros]

I'll bid one mill (1₥) for your ten thousandth post to have as many British spellings as you can shoehorn in. It'll be quite colourful, and there's no need to be paralysed in your grey decision longer than you need to.

Aluminium.

[Dmatix]

You will dedicate your post to the glory of the Anti-Shipper. Through it, you will spread His righteous message to the shipper heretics. And if they do not accept your word, they will suffer holy wrath. He will grant you the power.

[Wiwaxia]

Write it out using nothing but s stacked on top of each other.


e. like so

e. post 413 specularnaodm, or whatever you kids call it nowadays, under the spoiler.

show spoiler

hide spoiler

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[~ATH]

I bet you're gonna make it in a random throwaway cradleventure and be like OH FUCK.

But for all seriousness, I'd say to use it to start a forum adventure, or a forum game, or even a roleplay.

If those aren't for you, uhh, I guess you could use it to mock every one of the other 5 digit posters.

[tippertot]

You should complete every suggestion that is made in this thread.
Everything that doesn't contradict something else, that is.

[Schazer]

Create a collage-introspective of posts.

Go back and find the 100 posts that best-summarise your time on the forums, and use the date stamps to figure out what else productive you might've hypothetically done at the time.

Alternatively, do the same but with the most-vacuous posts

[Milskidasith]

Ignore post milestones? Is that an option?

[Varkarrus]

Make a video game
that's what I did!

[rj lake]

i'll pay you in a song that i will write for commission.

in the meantime, your post will not be made until i say so, and i will give you very specific directions as to the creation of that post.

[kaoticAntagonist]

Post a photo of yourself holding a giant "10,000!" sign?

Alternatively, consult a magic cue ball. I've got one that I can rent the services of, if you're interested.

Unfortunately, my visage is not meant for the internet.

Ever.

When you reach it, can I have some of your posts?

I am seriously deficient in posts.
Just look at my posting rate!

No. I earned these numbers.

The posts will only be satisfactory if you earn them yourself.

Um excuse me! There is no possible way to celebrate a large post milestone except through gratuitous gifs and copious colors.


e; oh hey I'm almost there, neat

I thought of this, but was, once again, struck by how it is so pedestrian.

I long for a 10,000 post like tynic, which was truly unparalleled, but my lack of moditude shuts out that option, and copying would be pathetic anyway.

But depending on the gifs the idea would not be totally abhorrent.

Can I put in my mother's leg as a bid?

Also, my proxy post would be a portal to R'yleh so that we can all meet Cthulu!

ALL HAIL THE ELDER GODS!!! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!!!!

That is a legitimate bid.

I'll bid one mill (1₥) for your ten thousandth post to have as many British spellings as you can shoehorn in. It'll be quite colourful, and there's no need to be paralysed in your grey decision longer than you need to.

Aluminium.

This is...
Legitimate.

It also fills me with rage and makes me want to throw a baby seal over the horizon, but the bid is legitimate.

You will dedicate your post to the glory of the Anti-Shipper. Through it, you will spread His righteous message to the shipper heretics. And if they do not accept your word, they will suffer holy wrath. He will grant you the power.

The Anti-Shipper must pay like everyone else.

Unless the power is the price?

I need clarification.

Write it out using nothing but s stacked on top of each other.


e. like so

perhaps if this was my 413th, or even my 612th, but not for this one.

I bet you're gonna make it in a random throwaway cradleventure and be like OH FUCK.

But for all seriousness, I'd say to use it to start a forum adventure, or a forum game, or even a roleplay.

If those aren't for you, uhh, I guess you could use it to mock every one of the other 5 digit posters.

1. I am not an adventure kind of person.

2. I tried a forum game and roleplay once (though not here). I was crippled by both other, real-life commitments and my inexperience and it fell apart.

3.This idea has merit, but I hesitate to draw the ire of the mods who make up the sixteen, to say nothing of Lord English.

You should complete every suggestion that is made in this thread.
Everything that doesn't contradict something else, that is.

Make a good bid and perhaps I will.

Create a collage-introspective of posts.

Go back and find the 100 posts that best-summarise your time on the forums, and use the date stamps to figure out what else productive you might've hypothetically done at the time.

Alternatively, do the same but with the most-vacuous posts

The idea has promise, but there is no bid to accompany it unfortunately.

Ignore post milestones? Is that an option?

No.

Make a video game
that's what I did!

but to do that would require skill, vision, and the desire to put something good into the world.

I lack two of those.

i'll pay you in a song that i will write for commission.

in the meantime, your post will not be made until i say so, and i will give you very specific directions as to the creation of that post.

Quite a strong bid. However, The post being made under your say-so, and under specific directions (within reason, such as nothing that is against forum rules, or making me wait like a month to make it (i simply couldn't stand the pressure)) is implied already.

[ArmsAreLoud]

I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything for my 10,000.

How does that make you feel, kA?

[kaoticAntagonist]

I'm pretty sure I didn't do anything for my 10,000.

How does that make you feel, kA?

Vastly Superior.

For you did not take advantage of the lengths people will go to to get one.

You missed out on possible fiscal gain, and missed a silver opportunity to profit.

[ArmsAreLoud]

Indeed. I bow to your superior sense of economics and knowledge that people really will buy anything.

Seriously, XFactor's writing you a song so he can control your post? What the hell does he want to put in there???

[Dmatix]

Indeed. I bow to your superior sense of economics and knowledge that people really will buy anything.

Seriously, XFactor's writing you a song so he can control your post? What the hell does he want to put in there???

Vast amounts of pornography. It's the only reasonable answer.

[mysteriousOutsider]

I can't believe you're going to hit 10,000 before me!

I have no ideas.

Except for the requisite ironic suggestion that you do something in my honour.

[Insan1tyNow]

Post extremely quickly until 9999 by 4/13, when you then will EAT A BAGEL. ...LIVE.

[kaoticAntagonist]

but...

thats 13 days :/

I doubt I can resist posting that long.

[Wheeeeeeatthins]

Try celebrating your 10,000th post by reflecting on all of the humdingers of posts you made talking up your 10,000th post.

e: make a silent film where you drift for 17 minutes on open water, reflecting on your place in the world through emotive body language as you react to your life's story replaying in your mind. The water is symbolic; the piece is titled "Atop the Endless Abyss"

[Reecer6]

....How the heck did you pass me?!
I've been at the forums for about 1 year and 9 months longer than you! TIME TO SPAM

[Karhs12]

Cure cancer.

Or make a waffle with a face and post a picture of it.