Trollslum Cafe XCIV: A Slow Death

[Araiss]

Welcome to the Trollslum Café!

Our Guiding Principle: We are fans of Homestuck, and of the trolls in particular. We like to make fantrolls, and we love to roleplay them. And so, once upon a time, this thread was created as a place to host new, undeveloped trolls so that players could flesh them out while interacting with other characters. This is the primary purpose of the Café.

Moderators

There are moderators to keep quality control of the Café. They will enforce rules, post new threads, and are generally around to help you if you have a problem or a question that needs answering. The current list of mods are..

Suds McFuddle
Steev
Overlard
Araiss
Cliff_Racer
Blank
Ocfos

Notice to newer players: We highly encourage you to post a profile in the trollslum thread or in the critique thread before starting your roleplaying experience in the Café. Getting some feedback on your character before you start playing can help you make a better character and avoid some common pitfalls.

Below are some rules that we would like you to follow when you post in the Café. Please read them carefully, whether you are new or old to the Café!

1. Characters and Settings

The Café is located somewhere on Alternia (the troll homeworld populated by the young). Any troll on Alternia can access it. Mutants, aliens, and freaks overall are not accepted. This means no aliens (humans included), abominations, undead, ghosts, robots*, freaks*, and mutants*. General fandom for adult trolls starts at 10 sweeps and older, which means they would be off planet in the fleet or culled for failing to provide genetic material at that age, so trolls over 10 sweeps are strongly discouraged*.

* <- The above asterisks note exceptions for good cause: if you're sending a troll of this nature in the Café, they must have a good reason to be alive (or still on the planet, in the case of adults). If your character falls into one of these categories, the moderators will ask you to justify the reason for them to be considered an exception to the rules. These exceptions must all be of Trollish origin as this is the Trollslum Cafe. Also a good rule of thumb is that it shouldn't force every single head to turn if they enter the cafe.

The Café is also set outside of a SGRUB or S***B continuity. No troll knows about any game information or about humans. Aspects and characters from what would be from a SGRUB or S***B session (god tier/S***B powers) are also banned, save them for a session roleplay.

2. Participating in the Café; Guidelines for Posting

There are no pre-requisites for joining the Café. Simply jump in and start a conversation with someone who is unoccupied.

a. Indicate which character you are speaking to if you are starting a conversation. If there is no name, be as specific as possible.
b. You can quote the previous post to enhance the clarity of responses, but use spoiler tags and do not post quote pyramids. You can be infracted for this.
c. Before beginning a conversation, make sure the character isn't already talking to someone. Interrupting a one-on-one conversation is rude, though planned interruptions are fine. If they tell you to go away please respect that decision.
d. When speaking OOC (out-of-character, as yourself) use (( parentheses )) or [[ brackets ]] to indicate OOC speech.
e. Post containing only OOC chat are prohibited. Go to the Trollslum General Chat Thread or a private medium for that.
f. Images posted here may consist of only standard sprites or AB (Alterniabound) sprites of your character. Meme/OOC images are forbidden; use common sense.
g. If you want to roleplay something that isn't allowed (see below), there are other mediums for roleplaying: instant messengers, including the Pesterchum client; typewith.me or sync.in collaborative documents; and private messages.

3. Fights

Fights are a different kind of roleplay, so they need special rules. Please read this next important section carefully.

a. Avoid fights if possible! There are usually other options besides instantly pulling out a weapon, so try the peaceful options first. Your troll may be violent or you may want to show off your character's skills, but this is a place for character development. This doesn't mean that you are prohibited from playing a mean of provocative character, just know your limits!
b. If you must engage in a fight, please contact the other players privately (PM/chat client) to plan things out. It is good to have an end result and a plan to avoid annoying one-upmanship contests.
c.Follow fighting etiquette: describe your character's actions thoroughly. Avoid godmodding. A good example of roleplaying an action is: “I aim at your character’s face and fire.” It explains the action and gives the other character a chance to respond.
An example of godmodding is: "I stab your character in the jugular vein." You don't have control over the other character's actions.
d. Do not get involved in someone else's fight! There are exceptions, such as if your troll is in a quadrant, or if they are friends with a participant. Trolls generally don't care about other trolls' problems if they don't know them.

4. Romance

Quadrants ARE needed for a troll to avoid culling, but the Café is a public setting. Trolls are shy about their quadrants (seen in canon), so they won't go to a public place just to make out. Relationship progress is important for character development, but sloppy makeouts are not.

*Anything above PG-13 such as fondling, grouping, lewd, sexual, or questionable behavior is forbidden. Take it to a private chat.
*If you bring a character in solely to have make-outs, a moderator may ask you to leave.

5. Problems

Problems will happen, whether they be excessive fights, godmodding, or another player causing drama. If you have a problem with someone, contact them privately and politely, not in the thread.

The mod team will only contact you for legitimate reasons; we aim to create a good RP atmosphere, not to harass individuals.

The mods will try to keep the peace, and if one of them sees a problem involving your character they will send you a polite PM asking for an explanation. Characters will be asked to leave if they cause constant problems, violate the rules, or need revision.

There is now a warning system in place: If you should warrant enough warnings, you CAN be banned for as long as needed. Please contact a mod should you have any questions, and remember to have fun!

Explanation of Warning System.

a.Informal warnings will be given out for breaking an offense. If you break a rule, you will be issued an informal warning. On your third warning for the same offense, you will be issued an actual warning
b. Three actual warnings will lead to a cafe ban as long as need be.
c. If you feel that an issued warning is unfair the mods will review it to see if the warning will be taken away.

6. Rule Changes

The rules may be changed at any time without notification, so it's wise to check the rules occasionally. Remember the goal is to have fun, so be polite and enjoy yourselves!

Archives

show spoiler

hide spoiler

The First
The Second
The Third
The Fourth
The Fifth
The Sixth
The Seventh
The Eighth
The Ninth
The Tenth
The Eleventh
The Twelfth
The Thirteenth
The Fourteenth
The Fifteenth
The Sixteenth
The Seventeenth
The Eighteenth
The Nineteenth
The Twentieth!
The Twenty-first
The Twenty-second
The Twenty-third
The Twenty-fourth
The Twenty-fifth
The Twenty-sixth
The Twenty-seventh
The Twenty-eighth
The Twenty-ninth
The Thirtieth
The Thirty-first
The Thirty-second
The Thirty-third
The Thirty-fourth
The Thirty-fifth
The Thirty-sixth
The Thirty-seventh
The Thirty-eighth
The Thirty-ninth
The Fortieth!
The Forty-first
The Forty-second
The Forty-third
The Forty-fourth
The Forty-fifth
The Forty-sixth
The Forty-seventh
The Forty-eighth
The Forty-ninth
The Fiftieth
The Fifty-first
The Fifty-second
The Fifty-third
The Fifty-fourth
The Fifty-fifth
The Fifty-sixth
The Fifty-seventh
The Fifty-eighth
The Fifty-ninth
The Sixtieth
The Sixty-First
The Sixty-Second
The Sixty-Third
The Sixty-Fourth
The Sixty-Fifth
The Sixty-Sixth
The Sixty-Seventh
The Sixty-Eighth
The Sixty-Ninth
The Seventieth
The Seventy-First
The Seventy-Second
The Seventy-Third
The Seventy-Fourth
The Seventy-Fifth
The Seventy-Sixth
The Seventy-Seventh
The Seventy-Eighth
The Seventy-Ninth
The Eightieth
The Eighty-First
The Eighty-Second
The Eighty-Third
The Eighty-Fourth
The Eighty-Fifth
The Eighty-Sixth
The Eighty-Seventh (sweepiversary thread!)
The Eighty-Eighth
The Eighty-Ninth
The Ninetieth
The Ninety-First
The Ninety-Second
The Ninety-Third
The Precursor

[BishouTaka]

the author sees the pretty new thread, and decides to doodle on it.
Phyl grumbles at the papers, as they are defeating her gently nature. fuck you papers.

[Rai-CH]

Katrin wearily walks out of the backrooms, picking bits of sopor off her scarf. How she got in there, she wouldn't know.
Either way she sits in a booth and orders a glass of lemonade.

[BishouTaka]

Too busy working on paperwork to notice anything, but she does order something to eat.

[Araiss]

Lets send Reppir in here as he doesn't come here often. It seems he's out of his normal chill state and is in a sneaky mood tonight. Then again he probably wouldn't mind a normal conversation if he thought the person was cool enough. He glances around when he enters, only girls..one a highblood one a lowblood. Looks like he won't have much choice, but he needs to prepare first. As such he heads to an empty table where he could spot both of them and the door and orders some coffee.

[Rai-CH]

Katrin has finished her drink by now, and is now attempting to carve designs into the table once more out of boredom.
They're still as shit as ever. It'll be a surprise if they are ever passed off as a 'design'.

[Araiss]

Coffee's gotten, and Reppir has definitely put a ton of sugar in it. He's even eating candy to go along with it, gotta keep the brain full of energy, otherwise he doesn't function. Now that that's done he decides to put his focus on Katrin, even though he's not looking at her. Lets see how easy it is to frighten her. As such Reppir decides to send a telepathic message to her.



(Hahahah HEY are you CRAZY!?)

[Rai-CH]

Everything is going smoothl-

the fuck was that the fuck was thaaat
Katrin thought she was sane enough to not hear voices, but apparently she's wrong.
"<( Uh wh-who w's that?? Who's there?? )"
She looks around, clutching the knife she was using to carve with tightly.

[Araiss]

Oh god this is hilarious. Of course Reppir is just watching the spectacle and eating candy in the form of taffy, trying to hold in his laughter. Lets see about being a little more creative now. Another message is a go.



(It's your KNIFE, WOW you're squeezing TOO HARD!) (Let go RIGHT NOW!)

She can't possibly believe that though, right?

[Rai-CH]

Katrin may be terrified out of her mind, but she isn't that gullible. If anything, she tightens her grip on the knife rather than releases it.
"<( But ghosts 'nd all that aren't real th't can't be true who are you?? )"
She continues to frantically look around, in hope to find the source of the voices in her head. There has to be another lowblood in here somewhere. She's not going crazy, she's not going crazy, not going crazy nope.

[BishouTaka]

phyl finishes one stack of papers, sighing. She hears katrin freaking out, and looks over, quirking her eyebrow.
...Did the Tick sleep get to her Tock head?

[Araiss]

Oh good, she's not that gullible, but she might still be somewhat gullible. Reppir takes another sip of his coffee thinking of what he should do next. She mentioned ghost..maybe that'd work. Especially since she's looking around.



(Hehehhe OKAY you got me I'm NOT your knife!, but let me ask you THIS!) (How do YOU know I'm NOT a ghost!?) (You CAN'T SEE me at all, heheheh!)

[Rai-CH]

"<( 'Cuz ghosts don't exist they're not realthey're just made-up things inhorrormovies!! )"
It never occurs to Katrin that no one else can hear the telepathic thoughts, and so she's basically talking to herself.
"<( So leavemealone whoever you are I don't know who exactly butgoaway!! )"
Deep breaths, girl. Deep breaths...

[mr_19]

Yawn and good morning. Ublich will be here and takes a seat across Phylda.
[|:| Hello~o

[Araiss]

Reppir is almost practically grinning right now, it's getting really hard to keep up holding in his laughter. Though it is always great to see someone talk to themselves. He's not too sure if he should bring attention to himself by having a normal conversation while faking being a ghost, so he decides not to do that. It really is a shame he didn't get telekinesis as a power, he'd be able to pull this off so much more.



(Heheh, THIS isn't a movie REDBLOOD!) (Come on, you have a KNIFE don't ya?, try to STAB me hahahahahahaha!) (That is if you can FIND ME, heheheehahaha!)

[Rai-CH]

"<( ButIdon't know who y' are but as soon as I do I will!! )"
Was that a threat? I think it might've been.

[Araiss]

Reppir is not disturbed at this motion at all. If anything it just makes it all the more hilarious.



(You MUST be crazy if you THINK you can STAB a GHOST!) (Hahahhahahah!) (You CAN'T harm be redbloood hahahahahahaheheheah!)

[Rai-CH]

"<( Yes I can 'cuz ghosts aren't real y' must b' somewhere in this room I just don't know who but go away leave me alone goawaygoawaygoaway!! )"
Her hands are shaking, and she's practically yelling by this point.

[Araiss]

Alright that was pretty much the last straw. Seeing a random troll scream at what appears to be nothing is just hilarious. As such Reppir is actively laughing his ass off. It sort of sounds like a hyena laugh since he's laughing so much. He'd say something, but he's incapable of speech so laughter will have to do.

[DeoDrew]

In skips this happy seadweller.
You go and take seat by the front corner of the cafe, and look around at things. Gosh things look cool and stuff.

[Rai-CH]

Hearing all that laughter was the last straw for Katrin too.
She throws the knife as hard as she can in the general direction of the laughter, before curling up into a ball and shaking.
"<( 'm not crazy 'm not crazy 'm not crazy )" she quietly repeats to herself.

[BishouTaka]

Phyl looks up from her paperwork strewn around the table, and nods politely
hello sir Tock dopant. How is Tock your evening

[Araiss]

Yeah Reppir is just enjoying this show. He does see the knife coming though so he leans back in his chair to cause himself to fall and avoid the knife. Sure he hurt himself a little bit but it's better than getting hit with a knife. After he's done with his giggle fit he sits up still on the floor with a dumb smile on his face. Probably should tell her it was all a joke.



(My GOD that was hilarious!, that was FUN!) (I don't know what you're saying since you aren't SCREAMING but just so you know it was a JOKE!) (Hahahahahhe, thanks for the fun redblood!)

[Rai-CH]

Are you going to respond to that, Katrin?
...
Nope, she's just going to continue being all curled up in her little ball of fear. It'll probably be best to wait for her to calm down, unless someone wants to be potentially stabbed.

[mr_19]

[|:| Mine is just fine, made progress with a pHATient earlier. How are you?