New Arrivals [text] (Hiatus? What hiatus? The author sees no hiatus.)

[Sparks]

Using the moment of pause, you take a quick look around you, and find that the guy you picked up appears to be unconscious. That'll show him to steal your booze. Too bad he's going to miss the fun part of the evening.

What will you do?

[Xindaris]

>Punch him awake?
>Start singing a song. Badly. Even if you can usually sing well.

[Sparks]

>Punch him awake?

You punch him in an attempt to wake him up. He just kind of makes a muffled sound. Well, can't say you didn't try.

>Start singing a song. Badly. Even if you can usually sing well.

Well, time for the highlight of the night.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHH-"

"No."

"But-"

"No. I can replace the furniture, I can't replace the eardrums of my patrons."

"Has anyone ever told you you have absolutely no taste?"

"Not sober people."

You swear to god you need to remove this man from the equation if you wish to fully realise your drunken ambitions.

What will you do now?

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It's always fun not having any commands for a day or so.

[Jetroid]

I'm getting really confused as to who is saying what. :X

Karis>Examine Keyring's (What equipment does she have?)

[Sparks]

Karis>Examine Keyring's (What equipment does she have?)

Let's see... Axe, sword, backup sword, magic thing, implement for cutting, spatula, that thing that does the stuff... There's some more but keeping an inventory that's sorted by memory and then attempting to recount it while heavily intoxicated wasn't the best idea. You attempt to go through it manually, but Kells objected to the multiple weapons that get dropped onto his bar, and you quickly reattach them to your earrings.

What will you do now?

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I'm getting really confused as to who is saying what. :X

Sorry, I probably should have used a more distinctive font for Kells. Apparently choosing colours for characters like everyone else rather than being special would have been a good idea.

[Jetroid]

Karis>Threaten someone with your spatula to prove authority!

[Sparks]

Karis>Threaten someone with your spatula to prove authority!

You stagger over to the closest guy you can find and pull out your spatula, ready to establish your authority. Unfortunately, for some reason someone tries to take it away from you, while a few others tackle you to the ground yelling put down the axe for some reason. Some people just don't know a spatula when they see one anymore.

You are currently underneath a pile of a few men. What will you do?

[Jetroid]

==>

[ardentApathy]

>Sing. Sing as loud as you possibly can.

[mysticCharlatan]

>Barfight: Begin.

[Xindaris]

>Put down the "axe" and start using your fists instead

[Sparks]

>Put down the "axe" and start using your fists instead

You allow the axe to be pulled away from you, and give him a second to get rid of it, before shoving the guys on you off, and slamming your fist into the closest person next to you. He tumbles into another person, who knocks over something else, which pisses off someone else, and it's a chain reaction until everyone starts punching each other in the face.

>Barfight: Begin.

The bar fight officially begins, and you start it off by slamming two people into the ground. In a bar fight, the usual rules of combat and damage do not apply. Brute strength and endurance are the only stats available, and there is only the state of conscious and unconscious. Luckily, as you are a target for starting the whole thing, you gladly demonstrate this to another guy by grabbing him, shoving him onto a table, and then body slamming him through the table. Somewhat over the top, but totally worth the broken table.

What will you do now?

[Xindaris]

>Do that thing where two or more people charge at you at once and end up hitting each other.
>Jump-uppercut someone's jaw, despite being in heavy armor or whatever.
>Somehow use your hair as a weapon, briefly.

[Sparks]

>Do that thing where two or more people charge at you at once and end up hitting each other.

You do that thing where two or more people charge at you at once and end up hitting each other. It's somewhat difficult in a cramped space, but the two guys charging at you manage to comically bash into each other and stagger into other people. Excellent.

>Jump-uppercut someone's jaw, despite being in heavy armor or whatever.

You perform a perfect jump-uppercut to someone's jaw, thanks to having removed said heavy armour before becoming intoxicated. You are also lucky enough to be intoxicated enough to not notice the pain coming from your hand as a result of uppercutting someone.

Your body count is now at five or six. What will you do now?

[mysticCharlatan]

>Perform the most cliche of female fighting tactics: find a guy, kiss him, and then knock his lights out while he's dazed and confused.

And here's an optional command to get the shipping out of my system.

>New arrival: wake up and be the unwitting guy who gets kissed

[Sparks]

>Perform the most cliche of female fighting tactics: find a guy, kiss him, and then knock his lights out while he's dazed and confused.

Nothing like the classics to get the fight going, and you haven't done this one in a while. You look around the room for someone who isn't fighting, and see some guy looking a bit out of it and distracted. You go up, grab him, and perform the full kiss manuver. And now for a second part. You let go and watch him step back a bit, extremely confused and letting you get a look at his face wait a second isn't that

>New arrival: wake up and be the unwitting guy who gets kissed

You wake up and oh god your head. What the hell is in that stuff, and how does she drink so much of it? You pull yourself and and find that a bar fight has started since you were rendered unconscious. People are brawling, glasses are being shattered, chairs are breaking over peoples heads, and oddly enough, the two guys who were having a drinking contest appear to have taken off their shirts and appear to be boxing like gentlemen, a circle of sanity encompassing them that allows for this gentleman's way of solving a dispute, uninterrupted by the tomfoolery of the other patrons.

While you're looking, some woman comes up and grabs you, kissing you full on the lips. You're somewhat surprised by this turn of events. You get let go, looking into the face of the woman who wait a second isn't that OH GOD WHAT'S GOING ON WHY DID SHE DO THAT SHE'S LIKE TWICE YOUR AGE

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Shipping? Bah. Antics are allowed though.

[Xindaris]

>Karis: Punch him, but for the new reason that to a drunk mind this is entirely his fault somehow.
>Victim: Perform Piccolo's advice from the DBZ abridged series: "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!"

[Sparks]

>Karis: Punch him, but for the new reason that to a drunk mind this is entirely his fault somehow.

What? What's he doing there? Why did he have to put his face in front of your lips? You know what, ahead with the plan. Time to take a swing at this bastard.

>Victim: Perform Piccolo's advice from the DBZ abridged series: "DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!"

You have a name now, but that's not really what you're thinking. What you're thinking right now goes a bit more like this.

WHAT IS HAPPENING WHAT'S GOING ON WHY DID SHE DO THAT WHY'S SHE HITTING ME ARGH RUN AWAY

You dodge the drunken swing, and quickly retreat to a table away. Your thoughts are still in caps lock, and there's still a bar fight going on around you.

What will you do?

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He finally gets a name, and you guys refuse to call him by it. You're making poor Gene feel sad.

[mysticCharlatan]

>Readers: refuse to refer to the Guy by his name for the rest of the adventure.

>Guy: crawl under a table and pray to be alive when the fight ends.

[Sparks]

>Guy: crawl under a table and pray to be alive when the fight ends.

You duck under the table and hope she forgets you're there. You're mostly ok with the bar fight, but you're not ok with a crazy drunk woman of questionable relations with you who has stated that she can set people on fire with her mind. You're staying under here until she stops trying to kill you.

>Readers: refuse to refer to the Guy by his name for the rest of the adventure.

For some reason you feel depressed over something. It passes fairly quickly though. You're wondering just what brought it on though.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Karis: Be smashed through table onto the guy-whose-name-you-don't-know-yet (though the readers do) by new arrival into bar.
>New Arrival into Bar: Be important plot character.
>Kells: Sigh due to recurrence of this series of events.

[Sparks]

>Karis: Be smashed through table onto the guy-whose-name-you-don't-know-yet (though the readers do) by new arrival into bar.

"Hey! Late to the party! How about I introduce you to-"

You are smashed through a nearby table by a new arrival to the bar that you decided to greet with a fist to the face, presumably followed by additional pummeling. This series of events did not end favourably for you. Who was that guy, anyway?

>New Arrival into Bar: Be important plot character.

You are now the new arrival to the bar, and you fail to be plot important. In fact, you shall likely not been seen after this scene. But before that, you shall be introduced.

You are JOHN STEEL, MANLIEST MAN IN ALL OF CARSIL. After you were given the name JOHN STEEL, you swore that you would LIVE UP TO THAT NAME by becoming the MANLIEST MAN YOU COULD POSSIBLY BECOME. Which you achieved ADEQUATELY. You have IMPRESSIVELY MANLY MUSCLES, a SERIOUS BLACK HAIRED CREW CUT hairstyle, a MANLY BEARD atop a LANTERN JAW, a PLAIN SHIRT AND PANTS, the former of which is ready to be TORN OFF DRAMATICALLY ON OCCASION. You also DO NOT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY. You are also not important to the plot in any way. Unfortunately.

>Kells: Sigh due to recurrence of this series of events.

You sigh appropriately. Not like this is anything new, it happens a couple of times a week, and with Karis it always ends the same way. The two boxing guys are always nice when they show up though. You can respect their right to a dignified round of fisticuffs. And some new guy has arrived, and there goes Karis. That was sooner than you expected. Oh well, she's footing the bill anyway.

What now?

[Xindaris]

>Gene: Karis is safely unconscious or at least down for the count, so you're safe to join your first barfight! Go throw something at the new guy.

[Jetroid]

>STEEL: Go *DESTROY* the weakest looking, most scrawny person in the room. Preferably someone sniveling in a corner or trying to hide.

P.S. Can any permanent injury happen during bar fights in this adventure? You say you can't kill each other, but can you maim them? Could Gene say, lose a tooth?

[Sparks]

>Gene: Karis is safely unconscious or at least down for the count, so you're safe to join your first barfight!

You hear a crashing sound as some pieces of table clatter over to you. You look over to the source, and see that Karis has been smashed through a table by some guy, and judging by the lack of movement from her, she's safely out of the way. Looks like it's time for you to join this party.

>Gene: Go throw something at the new guy.

What? No! Have you seen that guy and what he just did? Besides, you're a bit grateful for him putting her down anyway. And you really don't want to piss him off. You pick up a table leg and toss it at some random guy. There's a satisfying clunk as it collides with the back of his head, and he goes down. At least you've got a good throwing arm, at least.

You've got everyone in the bar to attack. What will you do?