New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[Jetroid]

>Expound on what the new powers you learned do.

[Xindaris]

>Martin from the future or whatever: Come in and tell a tale of a damsel in distress due to a serious case of land pirates.
>Gene: If you care, say you'll deal with it in two hours ago, after some serious rest.
>Martin from the present: Start to wonder if he's taking your mad time powers for granted.

[red pharoah]

> Fuck beds, you're too tired to walk ALL THE WAY TO THAT DOOR! Just fall down where you're standing, what's the worst that could happen?

[Sparks]

> Fuck beds, you're too tired to walk ALL THE WAY TO THAT DOOR! Just fall down where you're standing, what's the worst that could happen?

What? You're not that tired, no matter what the voices in your head say, you can make it to the oh and down you go

You are now asleep. What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>Martin from the future or whatever: Come in and tell a tale of a damsel in distress due to a serious case of land pirates.
>Gene: If you care, say you'll deal with it in two hours ago, after some serious rest.
>Martin from the present: Start to wonder if he's taking your mad time powers for granted.

This.

So:
>Be Gene from the future but two hours in the past.

[Sparks]

>Martin from the future or whatever: Come in and tell a tale of a damsel in distress due to a serious case of land pirates.

You are now Martin from the future, and you figured you'd just pop in and avoid a time paradox. You instead almost trip over Gene, who appears to have collapsed. Well, you think you'd better not wake him, if he's unconscious, then he probably needs some serious rest. You instead head inside to tell your past self something.

"Hey, just thought I'd mention this, but over at Lonoja a few hours ago, there's these land-pirates, and you should probably go take a look at that at some point. Just thought I'd mention that."

Your past self is surprised.

"Land-pirates? I haven't seen those since Democracy. What're they doing there?"

"No idea. All I saw was them kind of being there, and holding up some damsel in distress as a hostage or something."

"Damsel in distress? Whatever happened to modern gender freedoms?"

"Dunno. She looked pretty pissed off to me though. Just head over there and avoid a paradox or something. And head over to Ernie's while you're there, he's got this really great coffee you should try out. Just thought I'd mention that."

And with that, you jump back to your regular time.

What now?

[Jetroid]

>Be Gene at the point where you told him about said Damsel.

[Sparks]

>Be Gene at the point where you told him about said Damsel.

You are now Gene a few seconds ago. You are still unconscious.

What will you do?

[mysticCharlatan]

>Gene: Have the impossible dream.

[Sparks]

>Gene: Have the impossible dream.

You have the impossible dream. As it turns out, you have a lovely singing voice. You were not aware that you were this idealistic subconsciously. Or maybe it just made for a good song.

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

>In my dream, I am the star.. it's me

[Sparks]

>In my dream, I am the star.. it's me

Noted.

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

>Conjure a manikin and kill it, 4 times in a row. WITH MAGIC BRAIN POWERS

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Gentlemen, behold: FANART!



(According to Sparks' description from pesterchum)

[Jetroid]

>The Power To Kill a Manikin
>From 200 yards away...
>WITH MIND BULLETS.

[red pharoah]

>AL: Recap

[Sparks]

>Conjure a manikin and kill it, 4 times in a row. WITH MAGIC BRAIN POWERS

You do so, each time differently. The first you go for an old classic, having its head explode. The second uses a rather large laser to disintegrate it. The third involves dismantling it, one limb at a time. The fourth one...

>The Power To Kill a Manikin
>From 200 yards away...
>WITH MIND BULLETS.

MIND BULLETS, DEPLOY.

The MIND BULLETS are deployed, complete with gratuitious slow motion. About thirty seconds of alternating slow-motion and fast-motion, it's killed.

This achieved absolutely nothing except to relieve stress. Which is really all that's important anyway.

What will you do now?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

Gentlemen, behold: FANART!



(According to Sparks' description from pesterchum)

Damn that's awesome, and pretty much spot on. Also, my first ever bit of fanart.

WHAT HAS SCIENCE DOOOOOONNNNEEEE

[Jetroid]

>Mind!Gene: Change Nickname to 'Young Nasty Man'.

>Be the Pirates.
>It's you.

>Ask that buxom maiden what her name is.

[Sparks]

>Be the Pirates.
>It's you.

You are now the pirates. Or rather an ambiguous collection of all of the people on the ship who declare themselves to be pirates, rather than a single entity.

>Ask that buxom maiden what her name is.

Well, maiden is right, buxom is not. Quite the opposite in fact for that particular department. But that would be impolite to say, and you save that brand of impoliteness for the rape pillage and burn part, so you instead ask what her name is, something far more polite.

She responds that she doesn't have a name. Then then apologises for what she calls a bullshit answer.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Steal her stuff while the cap'n isn't lookin'.

Also:

>Title: Render yourself in a less appropriate manner.

[Sparks]

>Steal her stuff while the cap'n isn't lookin'.

Turns out she doesn't have much stuff. Just a rusty shiv in her pocket. You take that anyway, to avoid an otherwise inevitable secret act of rope cutting when you aren't looking.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Be attacked! :O

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENT.

[red pharoah]

>How can you avoid getting the rope cut...


When it is already cut?

[Xindaris]

>Arrival: You have nothing better to do. Might as well think up a name. Announce to the pirates that you're totally going to come up with a name now, and if they make suggestions they may well end up naming you.

>Pirates: Make nothing but incredibly dumb suggestions.

[Sparks]

>Arrival: You have nothing better to do. Might as well think up a name. Announce to the pirates that you're totally going to come up with a name now, and if they make suggestions they may well end up naming you.

You tell them to hold that thought, and that since you've got nothing better to do, you're going to come up with a name. You tell them that while they're here, if they've got any ideas, they might as well say them.

>Pirates: Make nothing but incredibly dumb suggestions.

"Bonnie Clyde?"

"Too old fashioned."

"Lass O'Ninetails?

"Too dominatrixy.

"Girl McFemale?"

There's a round of silence.

"What? There's plenty of guys called Guy..."

It goes on for a while.

You figure that you might as well come up with some names of your own.

What will you think of?

[red pharoah]

Francios DelaCoupe


Nara Adnarson


Doesn't-Have-Name