New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Be extremely hungover.

>Karis: Punch him out again so his doesn't notice his smoking pants.

>Gene: Remain conscious. Be extremely confused.

>Gene: Examine Attire.

>Both: Check pockets.

(wwoo 50 posstss yeahh!)

[red pharoah]

>Karis: put on your shades and make a pun about how "hot" his pants are right now

[Sparks]

>Karis: put on your shades and make a pun about how "hot" his pants are right now

You go for your shades, but find that you didn't bring them with you. Now you're just looking awkwardly at him as he comes to.

>Karis: Punch him out again so his doesn't notice his smoking pants.

You clock him in the nose to knock him out. He remains conscious.

>Gene: Remain conscious. Be extremely confused.

Why is she hitting you? Why are your pants smoking? Is she still trying to murder you? Why is she on the same bed as you?

>Gene: Examine Attire.

More importantly, your pants appear to be smoking. You wave your hand, fanning it in an attempt to put it out, and are successful. Your pants being on fire at the last thing you want to wake up to.

>Both: Check pockets.

Karis checks her pockets and finds them empty as usual. She keeps most of her gear on her earrings anyway.

Gene checks his pockets and finds his keyring and SPATULA OF RIGHTEOUSNESS intact. Thank god.

What now?

[Jetroid]

>Both: Check skin pockets.
>Whoever is closest to the side of the bed to exit from: Exit and stumble outside.
>Gene: Throw up from the alcohol. Seriously what does that girl drink?
>Karis: Suit Up.

==> Both exit into town. (With Karis paying Kells for the damages, obviously.)

Why are your pants smoking?

>mOtHeRfUcKiN' mIrAcLeS

[Sparks]

>Both: Check skin pockets.

You are now Karis checking her skin pocket. So that's where you left that poker chip.

You are now Gene checking his skin pocket. Unfortunately, you don't have anything stored there right now.

>Whoever is closest to the side of the bed to exit from: Exit and stumble outside.

That would be Gene. You stumble outside into a small hallway, the other doors presumably leading to other bedrooms. You walk down the hallway and down a few stairs to the barroom, Kells leaning back, with the room empty apart from those two boxing guys from last night at a table, talking and drinking tea. Are they always here? Kells notices you arriving and speaks up.

"So, you're up. Welcome to the second day of your existence."

"Woo. Karis just tried to set me on fire. Is she always like this?

"She's just hung over. She'll be fine in an hour."

"No, having a headache is hung over. Trying to murder someone is not.

"She's fine when she's sober. Don't worry about it."

"Whatever. If she tries to kill me again, you can have her."

"All I want from her is the hundred or so Marks that it'll take to cover her tab and damages."

"Is that a lot?"

"Not with the cheap furniture it isn't. But anyway, if you're going to-"

He stops as Karis stumbles into the room.

"Kells, I'm going to need the Good Stuff."

"You know, you've got a big enough bill already."

"I don't care, I just want to remove this excavation squad from my skull, ok? Now hit me."

He shrugs, and pulls out a small bottle of blue fluid, pouring it into a shot glass and slides it over to Karis, who downs in immediately. She sighs in relief, before turning her attention to you.

"So, you. We're going to get you some new gear.

You take a look at your incredibly generic clothes. You suppose you could get some new clothes. You're keeping the boots though. The boots be comfy as fuck.

"Ok, fine, let's go."

As you turn to leave, Kells stops you.

"Just come back here when you're ready, ok? I've got a few things you'll need to know and something to give you."

Intriguing. You agree to come back, and head for the exit. Karis stops to give Kells some money to pay for the damages. You wonder just how big her salary is anyway. But enough of that, time to go outside.

==> Both exit into town.

You both walk outside, and you get a good look at the town.

It's a fairly busy place, with a bunch of people going about their daily lives around you, people heading to work, talking with people and that other stuff that normal not-you people do. The buildings are all spaced apart, and there can't be more than thirty or so in the village. You'd estimate the population to be two hundred or so. Karis lets you take a quick look around, before addressing you.

"So, where would to like to go first? Clothes, or gear?"

What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>"Food. I haven't eaten ANYTHING. I am the most hungry guy in the world right now...!"
>"I don't know why, but I have the notion I'd like to try some cheese..."

[red pharoah]

^ this.

> Cheese: fail to exist in this world, because cows aren't a thing.

[Jetroid]

>Cheese Salesman: Care not. Continue to own Cheese Stall. Waste everyone's time. Mimic a popular sketch.

[Sparks]

>"Food. I haven't eaten ANYTHING. I am the most hungry guy in the world right now...!"
>"I don't know why, but I have the notion I'd like to try some cheese..."

You express your desire for food, and in particular cheese.

"Cheese?"

Yes, cheese. You know, made from milk, comes from a cow?

"Cow?"

Oh god what hellish world have you fallen into? You turn and around what?

"Then what the hell is he selling?"

You turn her attention to the cheese stand to your right.

"Then what the hell is he selling?"

>Cheese Salesman: Care not. Continue to own Cheese Stall. Waste everyone's time. Mimic a popular sketch.

You proceed to mimic a popular sketch with the only man who seems to know what cheese is, but lacks any of it. This tomfoolery ends with you punching him and proceeding to head to a general store to pick up breakfast.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Rob the general store of all its generals.

[Sparks]

Rob the general store of all its generals.

You can't fit all those generals in your pockets! You and Karis decide to head to the other general store, the one with the "Now not literal" sign on it.

What will you do?

[PersonPerson]

Rob the store.
Robbing stores is natural.

[mysticCharlatan]

>General: follow the guy who attempted to steal you.

[Sparks]

>General: follow the guy who attempted to steal you.

You are now General Eisling, and you are following the young lad who attempted to steal you. You wonder just why he wanted to do that. Perhaps he was just attempting to compare your dimensions to the dimensions of his pocket? You see that he has an officer of the law with him, and decide to leave him alone. You're sure he won't be tempted to try to steal anything else.

Rob the store.
Robbing stores is natural.

You are now Gene, and you are starting to get tired of being insane. Stealing everything? Next you're going to want to turn invisible to steal people's spatulas. You will not stoop to their level.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

[General Eisling: become a huge part of the story]
Examine aisles.

[red pharoah]

> You suddenly get the urge to exclaim "FUS" out of fucking nowhere.

doesn't ssem lik it would do much harm anyway. It's just a word

[Jetroid]

>Fus: Do nothing.

>Gene: Be disappointed at the lack of voice power.

>Gene: Actually find something to eat. Bread? Surely they have bread!

[Sparks]

> You suddenly get the urge to exclaim "FUS" out of fucking nowhere.

You do so, and nothing happens, but Karis is looking at you weirdly. You hear some shuffling behind you as some guy who appeared to be tailing you runs off. Hmm.

"...Were you trying to surprise that guy or something?"

"Yes. That is exactly what I was doing. It worked, didn't it?"

You stand in silence for a moment.

>Gene: Be disappointed at the lack of voice power.

You are now disappointed. If you could just figure out two more syllables to add to it, maybe...

>Gene: Actually find something to eat. Bread? Surely they have bread!

Oh hey, food. It's a small old timey general store, meaning everything is lined up behind the counter. There isn't all that much bread, since there's presumably a bakery nearby, but you and Karis buy a couple of loafs to have breakfast. You also pick out some weird fruit that looks like a cross between a pear and an orange out of curiosity. Karis buys some mystery meat, and says she's going to fry it into something usable back at the in. You hope she uses her powers of setting things on fire with her mind for good this time, and not to set establishments and your pants on fire.

You now have food. What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Eat all the food. All of it.
>Karis: Receive urgent report from Lee Baron. Do not care.
>Karis: Notice Gene has eaten all of your food. All of it. Even the uncooked mystery meat. Declare you will abandon him.
>Gene: Beg her to take you back. Beg her.
>Karis: Reply in a suitably hard-boiled manner.

[Xindaris]

>Cheese and cows: Actually exist in this world, by other names.
Anyway,
>Gene: Eat some darn breakfast, thus breaking your "since-you-came-into-existence" fast.

[red pharoah]

>Karis: Be Briar two hours ago

>Briar: Be on your way to prison with a captured bandit.

[Sparks]

>Gene: Eat some darn breakfast, thus breaking your "since-you-came-into-existence" fast.

You head back to the inn and set yourselves down at a table to have breakfast. The bread is luckily normal bread, and Karis demonstrated the practical use of controlling fire by rolling up her sleeves and proceeding to use her hand as a stove and pan. The meat is odd, and something you don't recognise, but it still tastes fairly good. Come to think of it, do they have bacon in this universe, because if they don't, you swear to god you're getting right the hell out. The orange-pear thing is also fairly nice, so you at least know the food here doesn't suck.

You also achieve this act in less than thirty seconds after the meat is ready. Even Karis seems impressed. A few uneventful minutes of breakfast later, and you're ready to head back out.

What will you do?

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Sorry for taking so long to get this one done. I might be a bit slower on the days I decide to actually sleep.

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Buy new clothes, preferably with stripes so you can use them to double up as a pirate disguise if necessary.

[red pharoah]

> Gene: "I heard Beige is the new brown"

[Sparks]

>Gene: Buy new clothes, preferably with stripes so you can use them to double up as a pirate disguise if necessary.

You head to a tailors, since apparently regular clothes stores do not exist in this village, and think about what you want to wear.

What will you wear?

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This is going to end badly. Make sure to add at least one serious article of clothing to the other ones.