New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[Xindaris]

>Shout to wake him. Sound waves are much more likely to reach him and not get auto-parried the way your sword has been. Maybe once he's awake you can force him to work the horrifying menial labor jobs or something.

[PersonPerson]

Flail your weapon while screaming.

[Sparks]

>Shout to wake him. Sound waves are much more likely to reach him and not get auto-parried the way your sword has been. Maybe once he's awake you can force him to work the horrifying menial labor jobs or something.

You shout at him, and this seems to wake him up. He pulls himself up, and blearily looks at you.

"Sorry, what year is this again?"

You tell him.

"Oh, good, not too far ahead this time. Thanks for that, I'll be on my way then."

He suddenly disappears. Well, you suppose that solves the problem of him at least.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Cry.

[Sparks]

Cry.

You shed a single manly pirate tear, which is instantly converted to steam by your FIERY PIRATE SPIRIT.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Destroy the floor.

[red pharoah]

>Discover new unmapped continent

[Jetroid]

>Discover that, in fact, you were not teleported a mere 5 meters to the right, but 5000 miles to said unmapped continent.

[Sparks]

>Discover new unmapped continent

You peer out the window to find an unfamiliar landscape in the distance. Which is odd, since you weren't within viewing range of the coast. You pull out your trusty telescope, and look out to see a coast you don't recognise, with everything in the wrong place, and your compass, when examined, shows that it's to the east, whereas the coast was to the west where you were a minute ago. Plus, an insurmountable expanse of deadly tides and various nasty things stopping you from getting too far away from the main continent means that you aren't physically able to find a new continent by sailing. Unless....

>Discover that, in fact, you were not teleported a mere 5 meters to the right, but 5000 miles to said unmapped continent.

GOD DAMN IT JACOB WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Jacob: Attempt to redeem yourself by teleporting the ship again using the enchanted items. Fail horribly, leadingbto the ship arriving at Carsil's capitol. On land. In the middle of a road.
>Cap`n: Force Jacob to walk the plank.
>Be the telemage hobo.

[red pharoah]

>Arrival girl: WOAH FUCK WHAT'S THIS SHIP DOING BEING ALL SUDDEN AND ABOVE YOUR HEAD? ROLL OUT OF THE WAY BITCH!

[Sparks]

>Jacob: Attempt to redeem yourself by teleporting the ship again using the enchanted items. Fail horribly, leadingbto the ship arriving at Carsil's capitol. On land. In the middle of a road.

Oh, you done fucked up now. Well, time to hide.

>Arrival girl: WOAH FUCK WHAT'S THIS SHIP DOING BEING ALL SUDDEN AND ABOVE YOUR HEAD? ROLL OUT OF THE WAY BITCH!

Well, you finally made it to the capital. Just a little longer and you can WHERE THE FUCK DID THAT SHIP COME FROM WHY IS IT FALLING ARGH COMBAT ROLL COMBAT ROLL

You have just avoided being crushed by a ship that fell out of the sky. Filled with pirates. Sky pirates. God fucking damn it.

>Cap`n: Force Jacob to walk the plank.

Alright Jacob, you had a good run, time for you to die. You issue an order to find Jacob. He is quickly found, wrapped in chains, and walks the plank. Everyone is feeling slightly better now. Well, time to figure out how to get this teleporter thing to work properly and stop being a land-pirate.

>Be the telemage hobo.

You are now Martin, and you just traveled through time to the present and are now hosting about twenty Genes. You don't mind, as this is a situation you've had to deal with before, and they're quite civil when they're not trying to burn your house down.

What will you do?

[Xindaris]

>Steal some drinks from your future self who will be buying drinks because half these Genes are really really thirsty and you're running out of drinks. These are non-alcoholic drinks I'm talking about here, just so we're clear. Don't want a drunken 20 shield rampage pileup going on.

[Sparks]

>Steal some drinks from your future self who will be buying drinks because half these Genes are really really thirsty and you're running out of drinks. These are non-alcoholic drinks I'm talking about here, just so we're clear. Don't want a drunken 20 shield rampage pileup going on.

You travel into the future and take your future self's drinks, of which he has many, before traveling back to the present before he notices. And now that you've got all of the drinks, you can son of a bitch your past self just stole them from you, that asshole.

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

^You mean 20 unconscious Genes?

>Go back in time and kidnap a bartender, he'll know what to do.

Edit: Goddamn ninja updates

[Sparks]

>Go back in time and kidnap a bartender, he'll know what to do.

Of course! It's brilliant! You tell the Genes that you'll be right back.

A minute later, you're back.

"What do you mean you can't help me with this?"

"Just bringing in a bartender doesn't mean he'll be able to do it. I can serve a bunch of guys, but if you don't have the resources, I can't help you."

"God, this kidnapping was a waste of time. I'll just take you back then, sorry about that."

You return the bartender to his natural habitat. That was pointless.

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

>Kidnap the WHOLE BAR, ALL OF IT

[Sparks]

>Kidnap the WHOLE BAR, ALL OF IT

Unfortunately, you are only able to kidnap part of the bar before you run out of space. There is also this STEEL guy who is making you feel nervous, so you return the bar back to where it was. WHY AREN'T YOUR PLANS WORKING THEY'RE BRILLIANT DAMMIT

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

>Just try and fix that paradox already

[Sparks]

>Just try and fix that paradox already

Technically, there isn't a paradox to fix. Each Gene is the same Gene from different points on the timeline, the timeline being over a chronological ten hours. Since roughly half of the Genes are just sitting around rather than fighting, they're waiting for the point in the timeline when they get sent back to be another Gene. For example, Gene number 1 will reach a certain point where he is sent back to be Gene number 2. Gene 2 will do whatever until it is time to be sent back to be Gene 3, and so on and so forth in that manner.

Once enough time has passed in the regular, non time-traveling timeline, the First Genes will have disappeared in order to become latter Genes, meaning the number of Genes will decrease one by one until there is only one remaining.

It is confusing and time consuming and probably a bad idea in the first place.

More importantly though, you need to figure out how to break the news that you're running out of drinks to these guys.

What will you do?

[red pharoah]

>Very gently and very kindly (not to metnion very cautious) ask that STEEL guy to tell them, try offering him a free trip to a beloved memory.

[Sparks]

>Very gently and very kindly (not to metnion very cautious) ask that STEEL guy to tell them, try offering him a free trip to a beloved memory.

He thanks you for the offer, but says that by revisiting a beloved memory, it removes part of what made it so special, and to come across it in different circumstances when such memories have a deep impact on how that person turned out could alter how they see it, it should stay a memory. You ask him if he could do it anyway. He says he'll do it anyway.

A minute later, the many Genes are understanding of the news and very respectful to the quite manly man who appeared out of nowhere to give them the news. The man returns to his present, and your problem is solved.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Once STEEL returns to the past, all FTFO and call an all out brawl... something along the lines of: "LETS GO RIGHT NOW, YOU FAT WANKERS. ALL OUT BRAWL!"

>Sparks: Actually describe the fight this time...

>Martin: FTFO
>Future-Present Martin: Go steal all the drinks from everywhere.

edit: fuckin' ninja's I tell you.

edit edit: Revised it to fix this mess.

[red pharoah]

> Be the other girl

[Sparks]

> Be the other girl

You are now the other girl, with your drunken rampage ended. Well, now that you're sober, you can open your eyes and hang on, it's still dark. Where are you? And why do you feel so cramped? And why do you feel like you're moving? And why is it so small in the cube room you're in oh god you're in a box how did you get into a box.

What will you do now?