New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[red pharoah]

>Fire one'a ye cannons to make sure they still work, and for fun.

[Sparks]

>Fire one'a ye cannons to make sure they still work, and for fun.

Sure, why not. You signal for one of the cannons to be fired, and lo and behold, the cannons work. The cannonball accidentally shatters a bottle containing the secret to immortality that had floated for centuries when it hit the water far off, and the secret to immortality is lost forever. Whoops.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Tell a wall you love it.

[Sparks]

Tell a wall you love it.

There's no need. She already knows.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Sloppy makeouts with wall.

[Sparks]

Sloppy makeouts with wall.

No. That would be very silly and unpiratey.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

PUNCH THE WALL.
beeeecaaauuussseee

[Sparks]

PUNCH THE WALL.

Why would you want to do that? The wall never did anything to you.

What will you do now?

[PersonPerson]

Go to sleep.

[red pharoah]

>Go to sleep, but keep both of your eyes open incase anyone sneaks on you

[Sparks]

Go to sleep.

>Go to sleep, but keep both of your eyes open incase anyone sneaks on you

You head to your bed, and get to sleep fairly quickly, while using the rare technique of literally sleeping with your eyes open. One would expect this to cause you to be unable to sleep, be incredibly painful, and cause massive and permanent eye damage, but you find it none of the above and quite relaxing.

You are now asleep. What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>Be Jack Scott.

(I knew Gene should dress as a Pirate! )

[Sparks]

>Be Jack Scott.

You are now Jack Scott, first mate upon the ship, and currently hanging around and making sure the crew isn't screwing around. You luckily kept up your habit of making sure you're in the middle of any mutinies in progress and making sure everything doesn't go to hell for everyone involved. There wasn't much hope for that particular mutiny succeeding, but you made sure not nobody else got killed and bled to death all over the nice clean wood. You must remember to get yourself one of those explodey rod things. Maybe you'll steal it from the Captain when he isn't looking.

Speaking of the Captain, he and you go way back, and you've served on the same ships until you both managed to get your own. You've tried to murder him to get the place as captain a few times, but you haven't done it for ages once the martial hierarchy was established and it was all in good sport as you both agreed.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Be plotting to Kill the Captain and take over once you reach your Ultimate Goal; A Timey-Wimey Device called the 'Continuum Transfunctioner' which you have heard about, whose mystery is only exceeded by its power.

[Sparks]

>Be plotting to Kill the Captain and take over once you reach your Ultimate Goal; A Timey-Wimey Device called the 'Continuum Transfunctioner' which you have heard about, whose mystery is only exceeded by its power.

Oh, you remember that plan. It seemed like a really great plan at the time. You had way too much rum that night. Still, if you could find something like that, you could probably get a fortune out of it just because of the overly sciencey name. You're sure you'll never run into something like that.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Plot course for Carsil.

[Sparks]

>Plot course for Carsil.

Well, maybe if you were a land-pirate, then yes, but Carsil is in the south, and you're currently in the east. If you wanted to head there, you'd need to go all the way down south along the coast and circle under to the bottom end of the continent and that'd take at least a few weeks if if you were lucky as hell and the entire pantheon of gods wanted you to be there.

What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE WE JUST GOT TELEPORTED.

[Askia]

> it was a accident i swear!

[Xindaris]

>Captain: When you wake up, decide to head to shore. There will always be more ships to plunder, but if you lose your booty chasing after some upstart traders and they do you in you'll have missed out on one more day of why one becomes a pirate.

[red pharoah]

Telemage hobo who was hiding somewhere on the ship: Reveal yourself.

[Xindaris]

...Nah. If he's a hobo he doesn't want to get caught, especially on a pirate ship.

>Some pirate who wasn't even aware of the mutiny from earlier somehow: Bring in a telemage hobo stowaway, waking up the captain.

[Sparks]

>WHOOPS IT LOOKS LIKE WE JUST GOT TELEPORTED.

You are teleported exactly one metre to the left. This is the last time you let Jacob anywhere near anything enchanted.

> it was a accident i swear!

NOT GOING TO CUT IT JACOB.

Telemage hobo who was hiding somewhere on the ship: Reveal yourself.

Five more minutes, then you swear you'll get up.

>Some pirate who wasn't even aware of the mutiny from earlier somehow: Bring in a telemage hobo stowaway, waking up the captain.

You are now some random pirate who is completely unimportant to any current events. Your name is Barry, but nobody cares. More importantly, you were just checking the kitchen for some perfectly healthy lunch involving no alcohol whatsoever and plenty of vitamin C, when you found some sleeping guy wearing some really old looking clothes and looks really dirty and beaten up. Probably some stowaway hobo. Better take him to the Captain.

You drag him to the Captain's quarters, the Captain sensing your presence right before you enter and getting up to present himself accordingly, and asks you who the hell you're dragging. You tell him that it's some random hobo who somehow got on the ship. The Captain questions how this could have happened, considering you've been on the sea for almost a month now. You respond by saying you don't know, you're just some random crewmember, and walk out, giving control to the Captain.

You are now the Captain. What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>OOPS LOOK LIKE WE TELEPORTED AGAIN AND LANDED ON LEE BARON. NOW WE'RE LAND LOST. WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

>Go to Kill the Stowaway, causing him to teleport himself 5 meters away. Further attempts lead him to 'bounce' away again, followed by bouncing the ship.

[Sparks]

>Go to Kill the Stowaway, causing him to teleport himself 5 meters away. Further attempts lead him to 'bounce' away again, followed by bouncing the ship.

You draw your cutlass and stab the Stowaway. Except you miss. Somehow. It involves him teleporting away five metres to the left. While still asleep. You try again. You miss again. Great, you're dealing with an unconscious hobo Telemage. Brilliant. This goes on for a minute, until he finally doesn't teleport out of the way. You still miss though, since the ship suddenly rocks as the ship itself teleports a few metres to the right, throwing you off balance. You knew it was a bad idea to leave the enchanted loot storage under the charge of Jacob.

Anyway, you've still got this hobo to take care of. What will you do?