New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[Jetroid]

This:
>Gene: Have confused feelings about Karis.
Then:

>STEEL: Go *DESTROY* the weakest looking, most scrawny person in the room. Preferably someone sniveling in a corner or trying to hide.

P.S. Can any permanent injury happen during bar fights in this adventure? You say you can't kill each other, but can you maim them? Could Gene say, lose a tooth?

(^Think you may have missed this? )

>Gene: Look around for some chump.

P.S. Really expecting Steel to be like Lucas Lee!

[Jetroid]

But what if it happens to be that someone needs maiming for story reasons? Is it possible to jab out someone's eye or some such? Torture?

[Sparks]

>STEEL: Go *DESTROY* the weakest looking, most scrawny person in the room. Preferably someone sniveling in a corner or trying to hide.

What? No. You are a MAN, not some meathead looking for a fight. If someone isn't MAN enough to face a fight, then that is his BADGE OF SHAME. You won't go looking for one, but you will not tolerate one FACE TO FACE either. It's kind of a MIXED BAG on your tolerance of them. You're here for a drink anyway, so you figure you MIGHT AS WELL GO DO THAT, IF YOU'VE GOT NOTHING BETTER TO DO.

This:
>Gene: Have confused feelings about Karis.

You're somewhat confused over Karis. She seemed alright when she's sober, but she's also trying to kill you when she gets drunk, which is apparently a lot. Plus there was the whole kissing thing, which you're really hoping is the alcohol, since she's in her late thirties, which would probably make any potential relationship she tries on you awkward and weird. You're not even interested in her anyway. You know what, screw romance, you're going to go beat down someone.

>Gene: Look around for some chump.

Already on it. You become aware of the fast-paced accordion and frantic banjos and acoustic guitar in the background as you tap a guy on the back, and quickly deck him when he turns. A couple of his buddies turn around to face you, but you have the advantage of coordination and sobriety, and are able to dodge their strikes, a swift clock to the jaw on the first one, a kick in the gut sending him tumbling backwards, and catching the other guy as he tries to shove you over, grappling with him for a few seconds before twisting sideways, putting him off balance before jumping at him, body-slamming him onto the ground.], where a quick fist to the temple puts him down for the count.

God you could get used to this. What will you do now?

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P.S. Can any permanent injury happen during bar fights in this adventure? You say you can't kill each other, but can you maim them? Could Gene say, lose a tooth?

((Hey, you posted while I was writing an entry, I didn't know it existed at the time. Anyway, to answer your question, the damage system for this world doesn't involve maiming. I wanted to do this in story, but I guess I'll give an explanation of this part. The damage system works like this: Play an rpg. Hit the guy, numbers appear above his head. That's pretty much how damage works in this universe. The more lethal an attack, the more damage it does, and the area where you hit them also matters. Hit a guy in the foot, and his foot will hurt like hell and will stop him from using it at full capacity, but apart from the pain it's still usable. In combat, you run at full performance until you hit 20%, in which you're going to drop like a rock.

In a bar fight, think a movie bar fight. Everyone's beating the crap out of each other, but other than being knocked out, nobody sustains any permanent damage. There is conscious, and there is unconscious. Short answer, he won't lose a tooth if he's punched in the face. This damage system is as weird as it sounds in universe to someone who's new to it. It probably sounds weirder in this block of text too. This will be moved into a spoiler box when I've written another entry, hope this answered your question. God this isn't readable, just ask another question if I didn't answer it.))

But what if it happens to be that someone needs maiming for story reasons? Is it possible to jab out someone's eye or some such? Torture?

Ok, when a character starts a fight, they initiate combat, referred to as a Skirmish in story, because Strife was too mainstream. The battle and damage system apply to them in there, but once the fight ends or they're defeated, the Skirmish ends and damage works like in real life. Once you've taken down a guy, you're free to maim him however you want. If you don't initiate combat, by torturing him or backstabbing him, or some other such event that doesn't result in him fighting back, maiming and damage works mostly the same as real life. Also, whether you're in combat or not, pain still works the same way. If you torture a guy during combat, he's still going to feel the same amount of pain as if you had tied him to a table and done it then.

Hope that clears things up. RPG battle system in combat, normal otherwise. Hopefully I'm explaining it alright. Sorry if I'm not, I'm kind of terrible at explaining things.

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Maim someone who is not in skirmish mode just to feel the bloodlust. Preferably the guy you just punched out.

>STEEL: Would defending someone from being maimed count as something better to do than getting a drink? Are you a man, or a mouse? Beat down on that chump.

[Sparks]

>Gene: Maim someone who is not in Skirmish mode just to feel the bloodlust. Preferably the guy you just punched out.

Oh god the crazy voices in your head are back. No, no there are no invisible thieves and you're not succumbing to unfathomable bloodlust just yet. The sooner you stop being crazy, the better.

>STEEL: Would defending someone from being maimed count as something better to do than getting a drink? Are you a man, or a mouse? Beat down on that chump.

Maiming? You don't see anyone being maimed. Although if you did, you would DEFEND THE UNDEFENDED to THE GREATEST OF YOUR ABILITIES. You would KIND OF BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM, is what you're trying to say. Now where's that drink...

What now?

[Jetroid]

>Barfight: Directly involve Gene by beating-on him by a crowd.
>Gene: Be insulted in the most possible way for the entirety of your remembered existence. Succumb to Bloodlust. Discover unknown and rare skills.
>Karis: Subconsciously start a small fire. Whilst Unconscious.
>Crowd: Panic!

[Sparks]

>Barfight: Directly involve Gene by beating-on him by a crowd.

Unfortunately for you, the crowd proceeds to get everyone's fighting partners mixed up, with you in the middle of it. A pile of violence ensues with you at the bottom.

>Gene: Be insulted in the most possible way for the entirety of your remembered existence. Succumb to Bloodlust. Discover unknown and rare skills.

You can't hear the voices in your head over the pain of lots of people mistakenly beating on you for no good reason. God you wish something would get these people off you.

>Karis: Subconsciously start a small fire. Whilst Unconscious.

Your mostly unconscious ramblings turn to a more fiery subject.

"No, no... You use DUPLIBLAZE, not FLARE, it does more damage... No, you're the crazy one..."

A few metres away from you, a few stray flames make their way up a table, and soon it is a ablaze.

>Crowd: Panic!

What now?

[Jetroid]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs

>Exit: Become blocked by crowd.
>Kells: Be knocked unconscious from previous barfighting.
>STEEL: Do some manly SAVING PEOPLE.
>Gene: Do... something?

[Sparks]

>Exit: Become blocked by crowd.

You are now the exit, and you really wish people would stop shoving and getting stuck. You're so unappreciated.

>Kells: Be knocked unconscious from previous barfighting.

Nah. You don't get involved in these things unless they get out of hand. And this just got out of hand. Well, time to go find the PORTAL BUCKET before the place burns down.

>STEEL: Do some manly SAVING PEOPLE.

The place is burning down, there are unconscious people and the exit is blocked, and some people are panicking too much to seek safety.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU MUST DO.

"PEOPLE. SEEK SAFETY IN MY MASCULINE ARMS"

You grab all the unconscious people and the ones not trying to get away from the fire, which is of course NO HARD TASK FOR YOU, and CHARGE THE EXIT.

"EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY"

You BREAK THROUGH the ring of people, clearing the doorway for people to leave one at a time, and SET DOWN THE WEAK AND DEFENCELESS. MISSION ACOMPLISHED. You feel like you're forgetting something though. Oh well, you're pretty sure you COVERED ALL YOUR BASES.

>Gene: Do... something?

Oh god the pain you can't feel your spleen

What now?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3ALwKeSEYs

I hate to say it, since I tend to go a whole day without commands in order to update, but it's 2am, so hopefully this has been manly enough to last you a few hours.

[Jetroid]

>Sparks: Stop replying to every command straight away! Allow time for more to accumulate. :3

Now that's out of the way, lets be...

>Captain Lee Baron: Investigate rumour of fire, which apparently originated in a bar and spread to some of the neighboring hovels. Just another day as an ENFORCER OF THE LAW.

[Sparks]

>Sparks: Stop replying to every command straight away! Allow time for more to accumulate. :3
.

((bah, no. I don't get many commands. Besides, this was fun. oh god it's 2:30 shh only dreams now))

[Xindaris]

>Some idiot: Toss alcohol on the fire because durr, it's liquid right?; further conflagration results.
>Kells: Get that fire under control anyhow.
>Gene: Stop being in pain for some reason, like an out-of-body experience or something.

[red pharoah]

>Teleport Bucket: Fail to operate

((Also I read this story from the beginning just now, and it's so freaking hilarious. the lack of images adds to the effect. Great job, keep up))

[Sparks]

>Some idiot: Toss alcohol on the fire because durr, it's liquid right?; further conflagration results.

Some idiot tries to do so, but they're stopped by JOHN STEEL's GRIP OF COMMON SENSE. Crisis AVERTED.

>Teleport Bucket: Fail to operate

The Teleport Bucket naturally fails to operate. The damn things been broken for ages now. Luckily, the PORTAL BUCKET is still working perfectly. One side of the bucket is the bucket, and the other side is in a lake. When you turn it upside down, it's going to keep pouring. Very useful tool, if you may say so yourself.

>Kells: Get that fire under control anyhow.

You do so quickly and before it can spread too far. Everything's steaming and soggy, but your bar hasn't been burnt down, and Ms. Riva over there is still paying for damages. Crisis averted.

>Gene: Stop being in pain for some reason, like an out-of-body experience or something.

You fail to do so. You attempt to use the MIGHTY POWER OF YOUR IMAGINATION to imagine a world where you're not in pain, but it's kind of boring so you stop. Being unconscious is pretty appealing right now.

What now?

show spoiler

hide spoiler

>Teleport Bucket: Fail to operate

((Also I read this story from the beginning just now, and it's so freaking hilarious. the lack of images adds to the effect. Great job, keep up))

Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it.

[Jetroid]

>Gene: Fall unconscious
>Past-Gene: Attempt Flash Forward.

[Sparks]

>Gene: Fall unconscious

You are now unconscious. You're enjoying the lack of pain, but you will now not respond to any commands involving body movement until the status effect has passed.

>Past-Gene: Attempt Flash Forward.

You Flash Forward to hours in the future, tonight to be exact. However, your efforts to find something more interesting is thwarted by the fact that you are unconscious at the time of the Flash Forward. You resume reality and have learnt jack shit.

What now?

[Jetroid]

>Explain to the guard that as he is alone with no PET HAMSTER to do his quest for him if he departs, he will either have to abandon his post (Thereby leaving the path WHICH WOULD BE ILLEGAL!), free you or kill you.
at least we know he won't kill us
==> Be the Narrator.
>Narrate from Guard's perspective!

[PersonPerson]

Dance like you just won the awards. The awards are unknown. But you won them anyway.

[Sparks]

==> Be the Narrator.

What? No. Look, I don't even have any author shenanigans going on. I can't even do a series of clever visual gags since I can't draw, so just leave alone and oh wait a minute nice try pal. I'm not getting into this time warp bullshit again. I already had to deal with this twice today, and you're not getting me into it again. Go back to bothering my creations.

Dance like you just won the awards. The awards are unknown. But you won them anyway.

You cannot dance because you are unconscious! You glow inwardly instead.

[PersonPerson]

Dance IN YOUR DREAMS

[Jetroid]

Wait wait wait wait.

This isn't how it happened at all.

Are we dead? Is Gene dead? Has this all been a dream bubble all along?

No?

In that case,

>Sparks: Continue Narration from the perspective of JOHN STRONG, 3 hours after the Bar was on fire.

>Jetroid: Bother creations.

[Sparks]

Dance IN YOUR DREAMS

You comply.

In your dream, you are the Lord of the Dance. It's you.

[Jetroid]

CLASS CONFIRMED.

>Sparks: Expound on what class features the Lord of the Dance possesses.

[Sparks]

CLASS CONFIRMED.

>Sparks: Expound on what class features the Lord of the Dance possesses.

Unfortunately, imaginary classes don't count. Too bad, since that class had some really great buffs and bonuses.

Wait wait wait wait.

This isn't how it happened at all.

Are we dead? Is Gene dead? Has this all been a dream bubble all along?

No?

In that case,

>Sparks: Continue Narration from the perspective of JOHN STRONG, 3 hours after the Bar was on fire.

Sorry, but the scene has ended, and JOHN STRONG is no longer available, as he has his own business to attend to. And your questions will be answered when Gene wakes up. Now can we stop being the Narrator now? It screws with the narrative process.

You are now no longer able to play as the Narrator. Shall you resume Gene's dreams?

[Jetroid]

>Be Captain Lee Baron. (three hours into his future)