New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[mysticCharlatan]

>Examine keyring closely. Why isn't it missing as well?

[Xindaris]

>Examine the locked door to the bedroom, attempt to pick it with one of the small pointy protrusions that has appeared on the ring.

[Sparks]

>Examine keyring closely. Why isn't it missing as well?

You pull out your keyring to take another look at it, since it didn't disappear along with the rest of your cutlery. As you pull it out, it jingles slightly, and it quickly becomes apparent why. Your keyring now has three small bits of metal attached to it, like a regular keyring. Unlike a regular keyring, however, these bits of metal appear to be a knife, a fork, and a spatula. Ok, what the hell? Apparently your keyring just shrank down your cutlery, rendering it unusable. You really hope you haven't managed to lose the manual this thing came with.

>Examine the locked door to the bedroom, attempt to pick it with one of the small pointy protrusions that has appeared on the ring.

You would head back to the bedroom door, but you would be unable to pick the lock, as there is no lock on the door. The door is held shut by a sliding bolt on the other side, meaning it can only be opened from the inside. Besides, your tiny bits of metal are only a centimetre or two long. You wouldn't be able to reach the inner workings of the lock to pick it. This is ignoring the fact that you have no idea how to pick locks anyway.

[Whimbrel]

Is there a way to slide a tiny bit of silverware OFF the keyring?

[Sparks]

Is there a way to slide a tiny bit of silverware OFF the keyring?

You attempt to slide the fork off the keyring, but the keyring is just one unbroken circle, and there isn't actually a way to use it like a regular keyring. Brilliant.

[Whimbrel]

Go light the fireplace.

[Sparks]

Go light the fireplace.

You walk over to the fireplace and take a look over it. Instead of a regular wood fireplace, it has this pile of smooth rocks that look wet for some reason, spread out on a tray with a small metal guard to stop someone from burning themselves. The part now is to figure out how to light it without burning yourself. You get out your box of MATCHES and light one, striking it off the stone surface of the fireplace. Interestingly, you note that the fire burns a very dark shade of red, rather than a regular yellow colour. You also notice that the match seems to be burning extremely slowly, while not losing any intensity of the flame. Looks like there's some upsides to being in an alchemists house.

You drop the match onto the rocks, and yank your hand back when the rocks immediately burst into flames, a full fire going up immediately, the rocks themselves fueling it. Ok, you take it back, screw alchemists houses.

You now have the fire lit. What now?

[Xindaris]

>Pause a moment to idly speculate whether you are actually the owner of this house, and suffering from the effects of an unfortunate incident involving a memory potion gone wrong.

[Sparks]

>Pause a moment to idly speculate whether you are actually the owner of this house, and suffering from the effects of an unfortunate incident involving a memory potion gone wrong.

You stop to think about this for a minute. While it would explain your loss of memory and waking up here, it does raise a few other issues. Would losing your memory change your personality? You're fairly sure you don't have a lack of confidence or anything that would warrant all those self-help books, and the layout of the house and furniture definitely isn't something you'd choose. Wouldn't you still have the same interest in alchemy, rather than an annoyance at how it's used in the house?

You'd speculate further, but you're hearing some shuffling from the lit door. Looks like someone's trying to get in, most likely the owner of this house, barring any idea that you're the owner of the house with memory loss.

What will you do?

[mysticCharlatan]

>Remember that book you never got to hit anyone with? Use it.

[ardentApathy]

>Make sure you light the book on fire first, though.

[Sparks]

>Remember that book you never got to hit anyone with? Use it.

Ok, now there's some clicking coming from the door. Looks like you don't have much time. Heavy book, it's your time to shine. You put down the lantern and pick up the hefty tome, ready for battle.

>Make sure you light the book on fire first, though.

But not quite ready just yet. You dash over to the fireplace and stick the tip in, which quickly engulfs the top half of the book. oh god this is a terrible idea why would you do something like this This technique will strike fear and surprise into your foe, as well as doing extra damage to them. You should probably put it out the moment you're done. There could be something valuable in that indecipherable language, and burning it and the house down isn't your top priority. but maybe it should be NO BRAIN. NO.

Well, a few moments left, and you're holding a flaming book. Anything last second things to do?

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Normally, I see whatever command has been posted shortly after it's posted, but I always wait to see if anyone else puts in a command before updating, the actual update being done very quickly. This is usually a terrible idea, but if it means someone else gets a command, then it's probably going to continue, I guess. Commands are a wonderful thing that should be cherished by all authors.

[Whimbrel]

NOPE GET READY TO SWING (and then let go of that burning book)

[Sparks]

NOPE GET READY TO SWING (and then let go of that burning book)

Ready and waiting captain. The door swings open, and AHA YOU THINK YOU CAN SNEAK UP ON ME WELL ohhhhh this was a bad idea. The person you nearly hit with a flaming book was just some woman in her mid-twenties, not very tall, not looking particularly strong, and currently freaking out. She screamed, then she started yelling wildly about things like who are you, what are you doing in my house, and oh god don't hit me I'll do anything you want.

Overall, she's flipping the fuck out, and you're surprised she isn't running around in circles by now. Great, now you feel like a huge bastard, considering your supposed aggressor appears to be harmless. You feel like you should probably leave now. You throw down the book and stamp out the flames, awkwardly apologizing.

Well, this is awkward. What will you do now?

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This was meant to be the point where dialogue was introduced, but I couldn't think of a good way to start it. Dialogue will begin shortly. I won't be able to update for a few hours, sorry about that.

[Whimbrel]

Awkward apologies as you leave.

Leave leave leave leave OUT THE DOOOOOR!

[Xindaris]

>She's clearly panicked, so you have to speak to her in the language of panic so she can understand you.

>"I'M SO SORRY I WOKE UP IN THIS HOUSE WITH NO MEMORIES I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT AAAAAAAAAAH"

[ardentApathy]

>"Hey babe, sorry 'bout the mess. You own this house?"

[Sparks]

>"Hey babe, sorry 'bout the mess. You own this house?"

While that would definitely increase your PLAYER status, you don't think it'd be the best thing to say. It also wouldn't be particularly smooth to use on this hysterical dame.

Awkward apologies as you leave.

Leave leave leave leave OUT THE DOOOOOR!

Ok, you really just want to get out right now, before this gets any worse. You begin to apologise increasingly awkwardly as you go. I'm sorry I just woke up I'm really really sorry I'll just be going now sorry about the book I don't think she's listening

>She's clearly panicked, so you have to speak to her in the language of panic so she can understand you.

Great idea.
I'M SO SORRY I WOKE UP IN THIS HOUSE WITH NO MEMORIES I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I GOT HERE I'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO GET OUT AAAAAAAAAAH

You sprint right the hell away, executing a textbook SITUATION SKEDADDLE, and keep running blindly until you can't hear or see her anymore. Ok, you think you can stop now. You also realise that in running blindly away, you haven't taken in the terrain you're on, other than knowing it's sometime in the middle of the day. So, what's it like outside?

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YES WE ARE OUT OF THERE. I'll grab the champagne, you get the doritos. Well, took a while, and I hope it picks up from here, and hopefully we'll never have to go back to that hellish place where not much happens and pacing dies. Next encounter with a human being, dialogue begins, and hopefully won't suck. Oh god I have no confidence in my adventure, what is wrong with me.

[Whimbrel]

Is it an arctic wilderness adventure? Or a post apocalyptic suburban wasteland? Perhaps a spring meadow with lions and velociraptors stalking about the tall grass?

[Xindaris]

>Verdancy level is in the thousands; alchemists must live deep in nature so they can procure all the natural ingredients they need.

[ardentApathy]

>A relatively small plateau, overlooking a vast, untamed jungle.

[Sparks]

>Verdancy level is in the thousands; alchemists must live deep in nature so they can procure all the natural ingredients they need.

You take a look around, and god is it green around here. You appear to be standing in the middle of a rainforest, surrounded on all sides by trees, bushes, and a multitude of mushrooms, flowers, and other herbs.

When you look down, you can see a slightly overgrown path that leads in two directions directly to the right and left of you. It's a bit indistinct, but hopefully following it will bring you back to civilization. With all the vegetation around you, you guess that there's one hell of a harvest for the alchemist who lives in this place, and you hope that she didn't decide to isolate herself too far from the rest of the world. Because that's just what you need, memory loss and lots of walking.

What will you do?

[Whimbrel]

Look down both paths, can you see any differences?

[Sparks]

Look down both paths, can you see any differences?

Well, to the left there's just more forest, while to the right you think you can see a small stream that might be connected to a larger river. Not much to lose, whichever way you go, as far as you can see from where you're standing currently.

What will you do?

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Why did I wait to update this? Sorry it took so long.

[Xindaris]

>Take the stream path. At least you'll have something to drink if it's a long way to go. It's probably a good idea to keep moving farther away from the house anyway.