New Arrivals [text] (Actually updating regularly this time, I swear to god)

[Jetroid]

>Look above deck for a Crowbar.

>Find Crowbar.

>Go and open the crat--- OH GOD THEY'VE ESCAPED!

[Sparks]

>Look above deck for a Crowbar.
>Find Crowbar.

You look around for a crowbar. You ask around to see if anyone has one, and surprisingly one of the many violent looters has one, which you borrow politely.

>Go and open the crat--- OH GOD THEY'VE ESCAPED!

You head back below to open the crates and OH GOD THEY'RE OUT WHAT WILL YOU oh wait that's what you wanted. While you were foraging for a crowbar, a bunch of crew members, along with the Captain went below and opened them up, and are currently in the process of dragging them out of the crates. Most of them are completely out cold, and while one or two seem to be stirring, they aren't doing much more than twitching right now. Looks like you won't need to open anything after all, and even better, you see a refreshingly low number of stab-wounds on them, so you at least didn't inflict any unwanted damage on the crate-people, and won't be needing that crowbar. You're not giving the crowbar back though.

What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>Equip Crowbar as Choice Weapon.

[Sparks]

>Equip Crowbar as Choice Weapon.

You equip the crowbar as your Choice Weapon. This does absolutely nothing as a Choice Weapon is not a thing.

What will you do?

[PersonPerson]

Bite a chunk off crowbar.

[Sparks]

Bite a chunk off crowbar.

Your teeth now hurt and the crowbar is completely intact. You really need to stop acting upon every random subconscious thought you have.

What will you do?

[red pharoah]

> Using your mighty crowbar, embark on an epic adventure to save your sister JANETT WOHST from a TRI-LEGGED CYCLOPS!


Or at least fantasize about it. Oh the leagues of hot galliant knights you may encounter!

[Sparks]

> Using your mighty crowbar, embark on an epic adventure to save your sister JANETT WOHST from a TRI-LEGGED CYCLOPS!


Or at least fantasize about it. Oh the leagues of hot gallant knights you may encounter!

You attempt to fantasize this, you instead end up pondering the biology of a tri-legged cyclops, and also ponder just who the hell Janett Wohst is, why she is your sister, and if so then why does she have a different last name?

You feel like you're missing the point of fantasizing. This could be a problem if you're ever stuck in a situation where you need to fantasize to avoid going insane.

What will you do?

[Jetroid]

>She got married.

>Speak to Cap'n.

[red pharoah]

>Ignore important questions, clearly asking the cap'n if he ever encountered a tri-legged cyclops before is the most pressing matter at hand.

[Sparks]

>Speak to Cap'n.

You head over to the Captain, who's currently talking to one of the other crew members.

"-And don't worry about them, I'm going to try negotiating. We did just slaughter they unluck bastards who captured them, after all. So don't worry yer pretty little face about it, aye? Now go make sure those hooks are secure."

The crew member runs off, and you take that as your cue to step up.

"Captain?"

"Aye. What is it?"

What will you say?

[Sparks]

>Ignore important questions, clearly asking the cap'n if he ever encountered a tri-legged cyclops before is the most pressing matter at hand.

"Not in a few years. Last time I saw one of those, some Summoner pulled him on me. Nasty buggers. Can't tell why you're asking me this now, last time I checked, Hags didn't Summon. Anything else?"

[Jetroid]

>Well, it's just that, I saw a tri-TENTACLED cyclops in the water. I wasn't sure what to do about it.

[Sparks]

>Well, it's just that, I saw a tri-TENTACLED cyclops in the water. I wasn't sure what to do about it.

"What? Where?"

He looks past you to where a couple of pirates are looking over the side of the ship and pointing at something, and heads over to inspect it. He looks over, and immediately pulls out a rather large crossbow, and fires it at the water. There's a meaty thwack, and a hissing sound, and he puts the crossbow away, and you vaguely hear him talk to the other pirates.

"Bloody Summoners, never clean up after themselves, and then this crap happens..."

Huh. What will you do now?

[Jetroid]

>Be the Telemage Hobo.

[Sparks]

>Be the Telemage Hobo.

The Telemage Hobo is too busy right now. Besides, he was only briefly homeless, and would rather like to enjoy his current housing while he has it, thank you very much.

What will you do now?

[red pharoah]

> Be the lich

[Seanorib]

> Be someone that has not been introduced, and promptly do something to confuse all the readers.

[Sparks]

> Be the lich

You are now the lich. Those fools thought they had defeated you, and for a brief time, they were right. They had killed you, and entombed you, but you have risen again as a lich, your master plan, ready to conquer once again.

Only problem is that you can't get out of your tomb. The top is kind of heavy and you don't have any room to get decent leverage. Oh well, you've got all the time in the world.

As it turns out, you're also decomposing.

You remain entombed forever and decompose without getting out. So much for this plan.

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Many, many apologies for not updating over the last two days, complications came up and I couldn't. Consider this a filler update until tomorrow, when the proper update is posted. Commands until then won't be responded to.

[red pharoah]

>But the decoposition was part of your plan all along. For you see, a Lich can recompose!

[Jetroid]

>Recompose into a STRONGER FORM, and gain ABSOLUTE POWER.

>For you see, Wraiths of Hunger get more powerful as time goes by as it allows them to consume the souls of the dead.

>Get up and remove the lid in a time relative to someone you may possibly never meet called Terra. Specifically when she encountered a PIRATE SHIP FALLING FROM THE SKY.

>After escaping, remember that you could have just used your powers to vaporise the lid.

>Mourn for millennia lost.

[red pharoah]

>Discover that being a zombie wizard means your brain gets rotten and therefore unable of thinking straight, that's why you were too dumb to vaporize the lid.


>Be too dumb to use time travel and be already there

[Sparks]

> Be someone that has not been introduced,

You are now Jason Rodriga, quartermaster, currently in charge of the ammunition. You are currently alone inside the ship, as everybody else ran off while you were fixing something.

>and promptly do something to confuse all the readers.

You strike a pose upon a conveniently placed box.



Well, that didn't do much. What will you do now?

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Not drawn by me, instead by an acquaintance. I can't draw. At all.

[Jetroid]

>Render yourself in a more convenient manner. This is a text adventure, damnit!

[Sparks]

>Render yourself in a more convenient manner. This is a text adventure, damnit!

You are now text again.

What will you do?