sLurb: A Fanalien Tonguestravaganza

[Cliff_Racer]

You find your collective narrative conscience drifting through space. Flying through the vast void at the speed of "who knows."

Eventually, you feel yourself slow, your minds finally rattling to a stop just outside of an interesting planet, a desert one with a curious amount of ocean.



That planet is me! I am quite possibly the awesomest planet I know of. My bodies of water are so elegant and blue, my deserts so beautiful... My forests so deadly. People praise me for my massive mountains, too! It is g-

Wait, you want to know my name and NOT why I'm so amazing?

Fine... My name is...





(( Hi! I'm Cliff_Racer and I've always wanted to do these. Updates will be at least a few a week, though I do have inspirationspurts frequently. Always open to suggestions, in the form of >do this thing! ))

[Fexxos Vyront]

> Wormland Pothole
:3

[Ocfos]

> Spacerock McDoublepeak.

[trueBug]

> Jolene

[Loather of Irk]

Slim Shady

[Airedar]

Tongue?

> J.J. Jaggerjaque.

[Cliff_Racer]

> Wormland Pothole
:3

> Spacerock McDoublepeak.

> Jolene

Slim Shady

Tongue?

> J.J. Jaggerjaque.

No, no, no! Those names won't do at all, and I'm pretty sure someone who lives on me is named Jolene!

Here's an idea, I can just introduce myself, since the names I'm being called are quite rude!



THAT'S better! See how much prettier that name is? It suits me, I think.

...Oh, poo! I've let myself get carried away. This story isn't even about me! Here...





Well hello there! Do you have a name, big gal? You should tell the camera, now. Your name is...

[Ocfos]

> Wrapfoot McDoubletongue.

[Dudemaster47]

> Lixxa Lotta

[Cliff_Racer]

> Wrapfoot McDoubletongue.

Oh, well, that's a cool name! Sorta. You think it's a bit more superheroey than you'd like, and it doesn't even follow your culture's naming conventions...

> Lixxa Lotta

Now you're just being mean.



Your name is ILANATSI. Like most other Thu Arem, you inherited the first two letters of your name from the last two letters of your MOTHER'S name. Bless her heart.

Today, on the 32ND OF WARM SEASON, you stand in your room, ready to CELEBRATE THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTH. Well, sort of ready. You're waiting for some files to finish zipping up on your SLATETOP (New technology! Well, for middle class people like you.) Once that's done, you'll send the files included to THREE friends of yours. And then... Then the celebration can really begin.

HAHAHAHAHHA!

Yeah but really, that is a completely innocent task. You kind of wonder where your BLANKET went, it's normally tossed against the ground. You'll be PISSED if DAD ran off with it again. Such a weirdo, that guy is.

So... What do you do while you wait?

[TheFinalWraith]

Examine cabinet next to computer. Open drawers and peruse rectangular objects.
Be overcome with inexplicable urge to exposit on your interests.
Examine laughably small computer and reveal web browser.

[Ocfos]

>Cackle maniacally at your slatetop's progress with zipping the files.

[trueBug]

> Peer out window, providing a glimpse of the wonders of Thu Arem civilization

[Dudemaster47]

> Ponder lack of chairs to sit on while you browse the interwebs.

[SumiumOxide]

Use lvl 1 GREEN RIBBON to craft lvl 1 GREEN HEADBAND.

[Loather of Irk]

Commence traditional Vurantasian blood sacrifice in honor of your birthday, preferably with a pig

[Flamerider64]

> Fawn romantically as you lean on your window or some poetic bollocks like that.

[scintillatingMoniker]

> retrieve arms from cabinet

[Crazy-8]

>Become romantically interested in a yellow shirted pink mammal

[Snowyowl]

Suddenly, your future self appears from thin air and prototypes herself.

[Bonzo]

>Make observation about how wonderful and awesome your home planet is.

[Cliff_Racer]

>Use lvl 1 GREEN RIBBON to craft lvl 1 GREEN HEADBAND.

No way, Josennat. Your ribbon is basically your belt. There's no way you'd take it off.

>Commence traditional Vurantasian blood sacrifice in honor of your birthday, preferably with a pig

Eh, maybe later. You don't own a porker anyways, and you get a day in the slammer for thievery.

Examine cabinet next to computer. Open drawers and peruse rectangular objects.
Be overcome with inexplicable urge to exposit on your interests.
Examine laughably small computer and reveal web browser.

> retrieve arms from cabinet

Arms? What're those? Anyways, inside the wardrobe is just your spare dresses, as well as a work outfit that you wear when going DESERTWALKING with your DAD (which is never, the desert is boring.)

The rectangular BOOKS are just various tomes your father gave you when you were little. Children's stories.

(( I was going to make an image for these, but I'm a /tad/ pressed for time right now! ))

> Fawn romantically as you lean on your window or some poetic bollocks like that.

> Peer out window, providing a glimpse of the wonders of Thu Arem civilization

You lean out your window and gaze around at the scenery without any real reason why. Eh, you'll admit, being a thu arem is pretty sweet. There's no fighting, aside from wildlife, so things are pretty peaceful aside from a brawl with Dad every now and then.

You still wonder where that goggle-wearing nut is.

>Cackle maniacally at your slatetop's progress with zipping the files.

> Ponder lack of chairs to sit on while you browse the interwebs.

HAHA. HAHAHAHAHA! THEY'LL NEVER SUSPECT A THING! SOON... SOON THIS 56% WILL BE A GLORIOUS 100%, THEN YOU CAN SIT ON THE FLOOR AND BEGIN YOUR PLAN!

Oh wait, it looks like someone is trying to contact you. Well, trying is the right word, since you're busy cackling like a nitwit. Do you humor them with a chat?

[TheFinalWraith]

Yes.

[Fexxos Vyront]

> Aye

[Bonzo]

Reply using prehensile tongue.

(may be using 'prehensile' wrongly here. Language skills, what is that?)