Nestheld - The Fan Adventure

[nickelangelo]

Nestheld

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Okay guys, here's my excuse.
Many 'fanraces' have been invented to be subjected to various Sburb sessions but none of them have that extremely well thought out society Hussie's trolls have. So here I am developing these guys, in hope to receive input from readers I may or may not pick up along the way.
You're all free to leave command suggestions in comments, they usually turn out to have hilarious outcomes, but you're also encouraged to come up with ideas; idioms like trolls; abolution trap or gape loader. You know, stuff to sound alien.
Feel creative and have fun.

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Okay, I started this initially in the artbound forum but moved it here. Sort of. Quote boxes will show previous suggestions from that thread, or suggestions I will get on that thread instead of this one.

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===-> Mourn downfall of empire

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Mourn downfall of empire

Several hours earlier...

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Several hours earlier...

A young darkling stands in his room on the dawn of his third FEATHERCHANGE MEMORIAL. Three complete seasonchanges ago you lost your avian features in favor of growing up a little and of course entering darkling society.

===-> Retrieve arms from drawer

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Retrieve arms from drawer

You fucking have arms.
Fucking four of them, fuckass.

===-> Be distracted by computer

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Be distracted by computer

Oh shit.
No.
Not her.
God fucking dammit.
What does she even want this time.

===-> Answer

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Answer

The background of your computer gives place to the awesome lead guitarist of an awesome rock band. You always admired how he could carry duels with himself on two guitars simultaneously.

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-- felineMesmer [FM] began intriguing grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:11 --

FM: are you there
FM: hey
FM: HEY
FM: dude
FM: DUUUUUUDE
FM: need to talk
FM: now
FM: NOOOW
GR: what is it, god dammit.
GR: what the fuck do you want now.
GR: I thought I told you to leave me alone.
FM: but it’s important
FM: IMPORTAAAANT
GR: That’s what you said last time.
GR: and everyone fucking regretted it.
FM: don’t be like that
FM: please
FM: PLEEEEASE
FM: with a haunting guitar solo background from those stupid songs you listen to
GR: they are not stupid.
GR: it’s a pure and expressive form of art.
GR: one which the likes of you will never fucking comprehend.
FM: come on
FM: COME OOOOON
FM: i’m not here to discuss your stupid hobbies
GR: not fucking stupid.
FM: whatever
FM: so listen
FM: how do you feel about playing a game

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===->

She did NOT just insult
your favorite means of relaxing and enjoying yourself.

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GR: fuck no.
GR: this is exactly what you said last time.
GR: just a game.
GR: i’m not doing this shit again.
GR: fuck off.
FM: wait
FM: not that kind of game
FM: i promise
FM: PROMIIISE
FM: no one will get hurt this time
FM: NO OOOOONE
GR: oh for fuck’s sake.
GR: why should i believe you.
GR: why am i even fucking listening to you.
FM: please
FM: pleasepleasepleaseplease
FM: PLEEEEEEASE
FM: it will be fun
FM: it will have its dangers but
FM: nothing we can’t overcome
GR: how many are we.
FM: what?
GR: how many players are there.
GR: you’re not the kind to play with small player numbers.
FM: oh that
FM: the usual guys
FM: the six of us
GR: you fucking had to fucking drag them in too, didn’t you.
GR: when will you fucking learn.
GR: when will THEY fucking learn.
GR: especially after what you’ve done.
FM: i’m trying to redeem myself here!
FM: this game is important!
FM: IMPORTAAAANT!
GR: when will even i fucking learn.
GR: listening to you when i should fucking ignore you.
FM: you are ignoring me!
FM: listen
FM: hey
FM: HEY
FM: listen
FM: LISTEN!
GR: okay, shut the fuck up.
GR: i’m fucking listening.

===-> Listen

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@Coasterman29
> Ask her if you play the game she will STFU

>Sqwauk like an imbecile and shit on your desk

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Listen

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GR: so let me get this shit straight.
GR: we’re going to play a game.
GR: that will both bring forth the fucking end of the world.
GR: and facilitate the means to save ourselves.
GR: am i fucking right.
FM: almost
FM: the world is doomed anyway
FM: DOOOOOOMED
FM: but yes we will be able to save ourselves
FM: that is if we are good enough players
GR: okay then.
GR: one fucking question.
GR: are you fucking nuts.
GR: the lack of fucking breathable air on your mountaintop castle drove you fucking mad.
GR: is that it.
FM: what’s the problem this time?
FM: WHAAAT?
GR: as you said.
GR: i mean if it even is fucking true.
GR: about the whole fucking world ending.
GR: how the hell will a fucking game save us.
GR: seriously.
FM: i don’t quite understand the mechanics either
FM: GR found it somewhere
FM: i mean the other GR
FM: not you
GR: god not that guy again.
GR: he’s worse than you are.
GR: why for the sake of fuck did you have to fucking involve him too
FM: he’s not that bad at all!
FM: NOT AT AAAALLLL!
GR: he’s a fucking mutant that’s what he fucking is.
GR: always playing mind games on you.
GR: being cryptic and all that fucking shit.
GR: too bad for him he never got me.
GR: i can see through his fucking shit.
FM: yeah you can
FM: not the point
FM: anyway you’re not the first in the cycle
FM: and he’s not playing
FM: as far as i know he doesn’t even care.
FM: RP will try to get you in once he’s also in
FM: we’ll have to see who you’ll be getting in
GR: what the fuck ever.
GR: like order even matters.
FM: it does!
FM: IT DOOOOOOES!
FM: and it’ll be fun!
FM: so are you in?
FM: we NEED six players

===-> Ask her if she will STFU if you play the game

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Ask her if she will STFU if you play the game

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GR: will you shut the fuck up.
GR: if i play.
FM: yes!
FM: i mean no!
FM: NOOOO!
FM: but i’ll leave you alone for now
FM: i have to get the others in the loop
FM: i’ll contact you once you’re ready to enter
GR: k bye.
FM: no wait
FM: WAIIIT!
FM: once you’re ready to be someone’s server
FM: dammit i forgot about that
FM: anyway
FM: bye

-- felineMesmer [FM] ceased intriguing grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:18 --

Good god finally rid of her.

===-> Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk

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Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk

Desk.
What desk.
You don't own a desk.
And even if you did you wouldn't shit on it.
As for the squawking, what sort
of imbecile do you think...
Oops.
You reminisce about the good old days when you
still had your feathers and could freely squawk.
How the season of youth passed...

===-> Examine other two walls of room

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Examine other two walls of room

You examine the other two walls.
There's nothing really much to see
besides a poster of your
favorite rock band
(because Guns n Roses is
a universal constant of
epic music)
a few electric guitars to
practice with and your good
old fashioned computer.
And the Plant. Never
forget about the Plant.

===-> Take the guitar. Be the rockstar.

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Take the guitar. Be the rockstar.

You are the rockstar.
It is you.
You have all the fame.
All of it.

===-> Be interrupted

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Be interrupted

Oh for fucks sake.
All the psychopaths want to talk to you all of a sudden.
All of them.
You were hoping to avoid a conversation with him.

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-- greyscaleRainbow [GR] began taunting grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:26 --

[GR] Bard.
[GR] Are you there?
[GR] It is of utmost importance you reply.
[GR] The lives of your friends depends on your future actions.
[GR] As yours depends on theirs.
[GR] why in the name of fuck.
[GR] did you change your account.
[GR] so its fucking initials.
[GR] fucking match mine.
[GR] It was a joke.
[GR] Should I cease?
[GR] Damn well you should.
[GR] i’m fucking sick of your mind games.
[GR] Mind is not my aspect.
[GR] In fact it is yours.
[GR] Mine is heart.
[GR] is this another fucking game construct of the shit you want us to play.
[GR] So FM told you about it.
[GR] Very well.
[GR] Yes, it is a game construct.
[GR] but she told me you didn’t want to play.
[GR] or something.
[GR] Wait a few seconds.
[GR] Let me change my handle.

-- grayscaleRainbow [GR] ceased taunting grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:28 --

-- tetraGrammaton [TG] began taunting grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:28 --

[GR] so.
[TG] She misunderstood what I told her.
[TG] Truly, originally it was not my intention to play.
[TG] But I changed my mind due to recent events.
[TG] I merely told her I was not interested in the game itself.
[TG] The mechanics are way too complicated for me to understand.
[GR] see this is what i fucking meant.
[GR] you and your stupid mindnumbing way of speaking.
[GR] you confuse pretty much everyone.
[GR] sans fucking me.
[TG] That is why your aspect is Mind.
[GR] if it’s a fucking game construct.
[GR] how the fuck do you know these things.
[GR] do you have a manual or what.
[GR] if yes don’t you think you should fucking share.
[TG] I do not own such a manual.
[TG] I merely know some things about the game itself.
[GR] i thought you didn’t understand it.
[TG] There are complicated ways through which to acquire knowledge.
[TG] But it requires you to be awake.
[GR] i am fucking awake.
[TG] Not here.
[TG] On your moon.
[TG] I believe you are a Prospit dreamer.
[GR] whatever the fuck that means.
[TG] It is enough for you to know that the game is important.
[TG] You will soon understand more than you would want to.
[TG] It is your luck you are not a seer.
[TG] They will have it hard, whoever they are.
[GR] so is there a fucking point for you to contact me.
[GR] or you just wanted to spout your fucking nonsense all over me.
[TG] Indeed, I seem to have forgotten.
[TG] I will send you the game files.
[TG] A server and a client application.
[TG] Also, I need you to immediately contact UM.
[TG] She will be your client.
[TG] She already has the files.
[TG] She was not intended to enter this soon, but she is in danger.
[GR] is she.
[GR] are you fucking with me.
[GR] she can’t be in danger i talked to her yesterday she was fine.
[TG] She will not be any longer.
[TG] Your assistance is needed.
[TG] Her client application is already running.
[TG] Run the server and help her enter.
[TG] You do not have much time.
[TG] So it would be advised to hurry.
[GR] one question.
[GR] does this mean she’s first in.
[TG] No.
[TG] She is the third player in the loop.
[TG] FM was late in telling you.
[TG] She must have known you will play if several players are already in.
[GR] by the way what is this crap about ‘entering’.
[TG] Time is running out.
[TG] You must hurry.

-- tetraGrammaton [TG] ceased taunting grouchyRocker [GR] at 7:33 --

[GR] well fuck.

You will have to remember to coldbloodedly murder
FM for this. You can't
have UM in danger.
Also because she told you this late.
What the fuck is going through her mind.

===-> What is going through FM's mind

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@cpupett
===_> What is going trough her mind...

[nickelangelo]

What is going through FM's mind

That's pretty much all of it right now.
Maybe you should come back later.

===-> More hours in the past

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More hours in the past

Who is this douche bag?
Maybe you will know if you name him.
What will the douche bag's name...
Oh wait.
He can't be named.
Because being distracted by an ominous shadow.

===-> Aggrieve ominous shadow

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Aggrieve ominous shadow

That is pretty much what you intended from the very start.
Yes, you have wings.
You've always had.
People say you are a mutant, but it's normal for you.
Also useful.

===-> Identify carapaced creature

[Naristar]

Hey this is neat!
Lets get this thing moving!
Boot up the program

((also tetraGrammaton is that a movie reference?))

[nickelangelo]

Hey this is neat!
Lets get this thing moving!
Boot up the program

((also tetraGrammaton is that a movie reference?))

Thanks, i'll be uploading 3-5 pages daily I think now that it's weekend.
Tetragrammaton as in YHVH (Yahweh) is God's Hebrew name, as his name was not allowed to be written down, much like Muhammad's isn't allowed in Muslim culture.

[nickelangelo]

Identify carapaced creature

Carapaceans are large moluscs,
which, as their name suggests,
grow hard carapaces for protection.
Highly dangerous lifeforms.

===-> Avoid attack

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Avoid attack

You unsurprisingly succeed in doing so.
Except for the carapaceans success in knocking off your shades.

===-> Weaponize arm

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Weaponize arm

This is also a thing you can do.
It is also another thing they call you a mutant for.
That does not make it less potent.

===-> Aggrieve the carapacean that so aggressively accosted you

[Bonzo]

Aggrieve the Carapacian that so aggressively accosted you!

Liking the looks of this adventure btw

[feralFantom]

> combine white arm and black arm to use yin yang themed attack

[nickelangelo]

Liking the looks of this adventure btw

Thanks!
feralFantom, awesome signature is awesome!

[nickelangelo]

Aggrieve the carapacean that so aggressively accosted you

Well that did not go as planned.
She is tougher than you thought she would be.

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===-> Combine white and black arm

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Combine white and black arm

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===-> Use yin yang themed attack

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Use yin yang themed attack

You did not intend to show off like this,
but you are in a hurry.

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Mollusc: be mortally mauled

[Bonzo]

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Thanks!
feralFantom, awesome signature is awesome!

That is true.fF has the best sig.

Mollusc: Be mortally mauled

Unnamed-as-of-yet-dude: Briefly bask in own coolness

[Sparky Young Upstart]

Loot the spoils of battle.

[nickelangelo]

Mollusc: be mortally mauled

You are now for a short time the carapacean.
You succeed in being mortally mauled quite spectacularly.
Then you die.

===-> Briefly bask in own coolness

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Briefly bask in own coolness

You are sure you said you're in a hurry earlier...

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Eh, whatever.
You briefly bask in your own coolness.

===-> Loot the spoils of battle

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Loot the spoils of battle

You...
You guess captchaloguing the corpse classifies as looting?

===-> Examine surroundings

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Examine surroundings

You don't need to examine them.
You've been here before.
The place has always been crawling with these damned carapaceans.
It's constantly infested, despite your best efforts.
But that's not important right now.

===-> Exposit on things that are important

[Bonzo]

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>Bonzo, be excited and impressed by update

Dude > exposit on things that are important.

Also
>Be called Lucent Cimmerian


(Coolest sounding play on light/dark I could come up with)

[nickelangelo]

===-> Exposit on things that are important

What IS important right now is the completing of the code you've been working on in the past few weeks.
The glyphs on this temple indicate an impending apocalyptic event, also suggesting a way of escaping it.
Since no one else has access to these caves but you, it's your job do decipher them.
More worrying is the fact that the temple somehow seems to have become the nest of the darned creatures.
That's the main reason of your delay in completing the code.
You will need to proceed carefully.

===-> Be called Lucent Cimmerian

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Be called Lucent Cimmerian

You are a little busy to be concerned with traditional name-giving shenanigans, but the name does have a nice ring to it.
You decide to keep it in any case.
You are now Lucent Cimmerian, and you are extremely preoccupied with the survival of your race.

Lucent: You must be able to Squawk like an imbecile and shit on those hieroglyphs, right?

[Snowmanne]

>You must be able to Squawk like an imbecile and shit on those hieroglyphs, right?

[Naristar]

finish the code in the blood of the slain

[Bonzo]

>Be UM and evaluate danger

(not that I'm anyway near bored with this rad dude :P )

[nickelangelo]

Lucent: You must be able to Squawk like an imbecile and shit on those hieroglyphs, right?

You seriously have no comment over this. You will not even dignify it with a frame.

Lucent: finish the code in the blood of the slain

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Lucent: finish the code in the blood of the slain

Why so impatient?
You are certain you will not have to actually
finish the code while being
up here.
You've only come for the glyphs.
For now.
You would not mind eradicating the place later.

===-> Be UM and evaluate danger

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Be UM and evaluate danger

Danger? What danger?
You are pretty sure these next few hours will be eventless and will
in no possible way influence your life.
Except for now being your third featherchange memorial.
That is pretty significant.
Now then, what is your name?

===-> Be called Azymae Incolucem

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===-> Be called Azymae Incolucem

Your name is Azymae Incolucem, and, as a friend would put it,
You live in a 'fucking castle that's bound to fucking fall'.
You are pretty sure that if it stood where it is for the last few memorials,
it will not decide to fall down just yet.

[Bonzo]

>exposit on interests and explain significance of having snow white skin despite lots of sunlight.

[Naristar]

explain how you aquired the castle

[OxiB00ST]

Castle: Shake very lightly. Dust: Fall off walls.

[MegaRock35]

>Castle: Decide to fall

[problemProtagonist]

Whoa, this is good! +1 reader