Your name is TELLUS PANDEM, and you are a troll. A jade-blooded troll, to be specific, that RAREST OF HUES which allows one to withstand the HARSH RAYS of the blindingly bright ALTERNIAN SUN. But you already knew that. After all, it is nearly your TENTH WRIGGLING DAY since you emerged from the BROODING CAVERNS, and you ALL KINDS OF know how to learn things which are common knowledge to everyone of your race. While you're on the subject of things you already know, you figure you might as well exposit about your Trollian handle too. You just picked a NEW TROLLTAG, after all, and you're pretty excited about it. Your trolltag is terrestrialTranquility, and (you (pro+ec+ (+he (words) closes+) +o) you)
On that note, since it IS in fact nearly your TENTH WRIGGLING DAY, your life is scheduled for a lot of CHANGES in the coming few days. For one, the IMPERIAL DRONE will be making an appearance to collect the GENETIC MATERIAL stored in the two, er... receptacles... in your hive. You don't need to go into much detail, as such topics shouldn't be brought up in polite company! Secondly, you're right about at the age where TROLLS OF YOUR PARTICULAR BLOOD COLOR are expected to ABANDON the bright sunlight and transition to CARING FOR THE MOTHER GRUB, a duty which sounds both incredibly important, and incredibly BORING to you. They probably don't have any PARTIES in the brooding caverns, and you are ALL KINDS OF about parties. In fact, you might just be the BEST PARTIER ON ALTERNIA, since you basically have parties ALL OF THE TIME. Even when you're alone. Which is usually, since your FRIENDS IN NEARBY HIVES tend to be asleep during the day when you're awake, and as a matter of fact, DON'T REALLY GET why you're so into partying all the time.
In fact, you're kinda in the middle of a party right now. What were you celebrating again?