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Thread: 216 Days (NSFW) (Time for— Oh Right. )

  1. 02-26-2012, 07:03 PM #1
    Levenfish
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    216 Days (NSFW) (Time for— Oh Right. )

    Author Disclaimer/Apologies


    Why the sudden change to NSFW?




    >Do something already.
    But... but where's the exposition?!

    >You exist. Do something before I dis-exposition you.
    Ok?

    Uh.... I'm stuck. Welp.



    I don't think he realizes I can see that too.

    In any case, existing here is a boy. This boy seems to be standing in a room on the 19th of March, ten and some odd years after his arrival, conveniently marked by much screaming and hand-crushing. He has some names, but he does not have a name. What is his name? How will he define himself? He may or may not be lacking in the upstairs department. I make a perfectly good omnibook and omni-UI, slave over a hot forge all day making a strife specibus for him, and he has the gall to not look around and at least acknowledge admittedly mysterious items that.... well, it's a matter of principles! In any case, if he can't appreciate it, I may as well turn it over to y'all.


    >NEW GAME< (Insane Difficulty Chosen!)

    >LOAD GAME< (Chapter Select)



    So, what's this future hapless sap's name?
    Last edited by Levenfish; 06-13-2013 at 05:39 PM.
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  2. 02-26-2012, 08:23 PM #2
    Cipher
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Bernard Bartlett, and no one puts BB in a corner.
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  3. 02-26-2012, 09:53 PM #3
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Menu







    My name is Bernard Bartlett. How dare you attempt to force your authoritay on meh.
    I will break your teeth for even daring to think you can simply whisk me into nothingness. What are you, a wizard?

    >Pick up Omnibook and Omni-UI
    Judging by that massive thing up there, I think I already have it.

    >Test out your strife specibus.
    Says here in the manual I get to choose something. Doesn't matter how unfeasible it is.

    >TROLOLOL. You can't pick one, it's decided by the dark gods.
    Uh, no it isn't. It says.... oh.

    >Kid, I wrote the damn thing.

    What shall be this sudden badass' weapon of choice? And what should he do next?
    Last edited by Levenfish; 02-27-2012 at 05:50 AM.
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  4. 02-26-2012, 11:09 PM #4
    Cipher
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    >>BB, choose the Axe. Then read that memo on your cast calculus calibrator aloud so I know what it says.
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  5. 02-27-2012, 12:21 PM #5
    Kíeros
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    > Don't forget to choose the difficulty.

    We can all handle ">If you're not a Scorpio with a psychopathic need to win, leave.", right?
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  6. 02-27-2012, 12:25 PM #6
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Go for Knifekind. You can always use some trusty knifes.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  7. 02-27-2012, 03:20 PM #7
    Naristar
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    playdoh
    The Goodstuff is always behind the spoiler...
    Its always changeing really!
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  8. 02-27-2012, 03:28 PM #8
    Askia
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    ">If you're not a Scorpio with a psychopathic need to win, leave."

    Dont you have anything worse?

    "creepy mechanical arms kind"
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  9. 02-27-2012, 04:08 PM #9
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Menu



    >Bernard: Ponder the axekind
    Hmm... Axes could come useful, 'specially if I gotta chop up someone good later on.

    >Bernard: Wonder if you can fuse a knife and an axe
    I prolly could, but I'll need duct tape.

    >Bernard: Contemplate claykind and appallinginorganicappendagekind
    I.... But how does... Clay? Fat chance. A robot arm might be nice, though I dunno if I'd give up a real arm for it.

    Eh, what the hell. AXEKIND IT IS.

    >Bernard: Obtain fire axe

    ALL SHALL FEAR THE AXE OF FIRE.
    BRING FORTH THE FIRE.





    Fire? Helloooooo. Fire?

    >JO: Facepalm.

    >Bernard: Move on from devastating lack of fulfillment.
    Says I never picked the difficulty....Wait.
    How dare this thang tell me what I can and cannot do. Screw the Scorpios. Screw all of them. All of them. ALL OF THEM.

    >Bernard: Continue to rant
    You cannot rant, because there is a sudden bed intruder!





    >Bed Intruder: Break into song
    That's silly! And could possibly invoke forces far greater than your comprehension or, indeed, patience.
    Bed Intruder uses SPEAK.

    Jason Orville talked to Bernard Bartlett at 9:27AM, 3/19
    JO: Bernie, tell me, how long have you been standing there like that?
    BB: A few minutes is all. I assume the chatlog request is yours?
    JO: It does, but it doesn't matter anymore. Uninstall it. And I'll need to put my cord up your port.
    BB: ....
    BB: Riiiight. What do you want again? This works just fine.
    JO: With the exception of anyone with Trollian. Anyway, Pesterchum came out. I'm downloading it to your UI now.
    BB: Where's the cord?
    JO: What pumpkin? It's wireless.
    BB: So that whole cord thing...
    JO: I have others for that.
    BB: Sure you do. Alright, how does this thing work?
    JO: Like the chatlogs, but with color. It's colorful. Pretty colors. So shiny. And bright. Pretty.
    JO: Anyway, mine's prometheanProdigy. What's yours?

    Well? You'll need some sort of handle.
    Last edited by Levenfish; 02-27-2012 at 08:11 PM.
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  10. 02-27-2012, 04:31 PM #10
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    ionianImperator

    You are the leader. It is you.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  11. 02-27-2012, 06:41 PM #11
    Kíeros
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    validChumhandle.

    Because there is nothing better than the basics.
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  12. 02-27-2012, 06:44 PM #12
    Cipher
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    I second ionianImperator.
    Feel Free to Pester Whenever. Handles: OOC:cipheredMachine Troll:embellishedTestament
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  13. 02-27-2012, 08:52 PM #13
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Menu

    Party


    You are now ionianImperator.
    You suppose you can change the color later, when you feel like it.

    >iI: Ask pP what to do now.

    ionianImperator began pestering prometheanProdigy at 9:28AM, 3/19
    iI: Sooo exactly where do we even begin with this whole thing?
    pP: I have absolutely no idea where to begin. Fortunately, it seems people planned for this thing.
    pP: On April 17, they're holding the biggest gathering of choice dames and stronglads in the city.
    pP: I know, I know, it's convenient as hell. But when this starts happening to hundreds, they just happened to realize just how many irons were in the fire.
    iI: And enlighten me. Just how many irons were there?
    pP: Hundreds. All smoldering like eggs on a sidewalk inside the forge.
    pP: Which gives us a quest; find three others to join in, level up as much as possible, and then let fate decide exactly how big a reward shall be given to he who kicks the most ass.
    pP: Then hopefully get some of the unkicked ass. For moral reasons.
    iI: Moral, I seeeee... Well, then, you'd better make sure dem ladies remember their obviously virginal and moral intentions when they encounter equipment that's say.... lacking.
    pP: Oh, is that the game we're playing now?
    iI: No, you dunce. We're playing this game, not "oh-help-us-get-this-virgin-laid-so-he-stops-whining."
    iI: In any case, scope out the town for choice...
    iI: DAMMIT. Just start asking around. I'm pretty sure our mutual acquaintances will agree to this. At least they can tolerate your effete nonesuch-charm.
    pP: Oh. You haven't allocated stats yet?
    pP: Just remember, there's dating in this!
    iI: What in zhe heyll... where did it say that?!
    pP: It didn't. But I want that NSFW content. And it has to come from somewhere.
    iI: Keep those ponderings in your pants and get going already. This conversation's dragged on faaar too long than I want.
    pP: Fine then. As you say, oh great and noble leader.
    iI: Someone's gotta keep your ass in line.
    pP: Your moth... nah, that's too easy, ironically also like her. See ya!

    >iI: Try to remember how you became friends with that walking abomination
    >iI: Forget it. I'm too lazy. And stuff needs to be done.

    You try to allocate stats, but you end up holding off on it, at least till you can find some translator or some mod. There are simply far too many stats modify-able. Who knew aglet-crafting was a skill?

    Ok, done. Got about a month less two days, less some ten-odd minutes spent deciphering your Voynich of a stat sheet in vain.
    So, what now?
    Last edited by Levenfish; 02-28-2012 at 05:00 AM.
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  14. 02-28-2012, 06:21 AM #14
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Look around your room, might be something useful.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  15. 02-28-2012, 03:35 PM #15
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Menu

    Party


    >iI: Look around your room
    You scrounge around your numerous and assorted bookshelves. You kick your couch in frustration, unsettling the cushions. You find a few obligatory vandalism-approval rewards in the form of a few boondollars.
    You consider destroying everything for more money, but it'd be a pain to replace all your stuff.
    You decide now's a good time to get out of your room and go to the commons.

    >iI: Head to the commons
    You go out the door, hang a right, then take the stairs down. You encounter a rather hurried troll strongrunning up the stairs. You give him a wide berth.
    The commons is really the center of life in the hive. As a mainly troll hive, the furniture reflects them, as seen in the sopor. You'd wish they'd change to the new blue synthetic kind, but nothing much to be done about that.
    Recently, however, it's turned into a festering hive of scum, villainy, and rampant blackroms. The first two you're used to, nay, contributed to. The 3rd is rather new.

    You're actually not sure what's worse; when everyone was oozing over each other with flushed red feelings, then turning into some massive make-out session, or now, where everyone's yelling and fighting each other, then... still make-outs. Damn trolls these days.






    You suddenly realize you've been standing around for a few minutes. You felt someone was supposed to come up to talk to you, but maybe it's the weather these days. The air of the void is clearly not conducive to humans. The only planet you can think of that is has kinda become a mutual killing ground.

    End of Day 1 Bernard Bartlett Arc
    >Switch: Jason Orville
    >Command?
    Last edited by Levenfish; 02-29-2012 at 05:56 PM.
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  16. 02-29-2012, 04:10 AM #16
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Holy triple post Batman!

    JO: Be a high class gentlemen. Non of that ruffian stuff here.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  17. 02-29-2012, 06:11 AM #17
    Cipher
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    >>Be the gentleman, wear the pocketwatch.
    Feel Free to Pester Whenever. Handles: OOC:cipheredMachine Troll:embellishedTestament
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  18. 02-29-2012, 05:03 PM #18
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    >JO: Be a high class gentlemen. None of that ruffian shit like your uncivilized friend there.
    Ah, but technically, I'm the uncivilized one. He lives in an area that looks like the recruiting center of both the 25th "Voidbeast" Ruffiannihilators and the 17th naval Gamblignants. I guess it helps (or not, really) that he's bound for the 7th Avernian legion when he grows up.

    >JO: Wear the pocketwatch. Be the gentleman.
    Oh dear, it seems I've left that at home, being a relic you only bring on the finest events, for the finest attire. I am not in a situation where I require enough charm to seduce even the Empress.

    But I do have a pocket-UI. It's good for everything.

    >JO: Blah blah, shut up. BE THE GENTLEMAN.
    I have a top hat, a shirt with sleeves for once, and pants that go midway beneath my thighs. Excuse me.

    I just sipped some tea and gingerly ate a biscuit. The only way this could get fancier is if I suddenly gained all the levels and became the LORD of EPIC. Or some such title. I leave the wordplay to others.

    >JO: Engage in ruffian behavior.
    Oh no, no, no. This is not simple ruffian behavior. This is ruffian behavior not for those that have some levels and are midway onto becoming an Uncouth Brigand. No, this is for those who have gained ALL the levels.
    Reading.
    You see, I'm currently perusing three articles of text, each from different newspapers.


    The illegal behavior? There is only one newspaper known to exist in the city.
    One is favored by the Empress herself, when she can read it. The other two are... far less reputable.

    Tales of the Cavalreapers 42; The Slaying of a Greater Horrorterror and Twenty-Two Underlings


    a mESSAGE fROM tHE cALLER


    Oh blah blah blah. Shut up already, tool.

    Bombing in Nespar Square
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  19. 03-01-2012, 03:44 AM #19
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    JO: Engage in acts of high class savagery. If you must be a ruffian, at least to so in style.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  20. 03-01-2012, 05:56 AM #20
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    >JO: Engage in acts of high class savagery. Be the ruthlessly royal ruffian.

    Nah. It's hard to engage in such acts so quickly. Seadwellers don't come out that often. Also, I'd need help to get past their retinue.
    Unless you meant the other type, which I'm about to do now.


    See, I'd like to bring up a point I made earlier. I have others where I can place my cord.
    I must remind myself that I am extremely heterosexual today.



    That, and I fell prey to a classic stereotype; there is a mutual acquaintance I am to speak with today...
    Yet I have forgotten her name. Well, it didn't help that I didn't get her Pesterchum handle yet either.
    This is where I solicit you for your assistance, telling me her handle and name.
    Yes? No? I realize I could've to ask Bernie again for the details on such a thing, but he has yet to break the fourth wall.

    >JO: Engage in low class ruffian antics
    Come on, I need a name and a handle! Do it! There will be biscuits as rewards.
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  21. 03-01-2012, 06:20 AM #21
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    A she?
    Hmmm...

    Name: Lena Travencal
    Pesterchum: temperamentalTotality.

    I must say I kinda lost track of what exactly we are doing. Can you manage a brief reminder?
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  22. 03-01-2012, 03:28 PM #22
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    Jason Orville talked to Lena Travencal at 10:34AM, 3/19
    JO: Hello dear, good to see you. Candy? A ride through the countryside in my white van?
    LT: Maybe later. I love rides. But pleasure later. Did you do your part?
    JO: Always a tease.
    LT: You didn't?
    JO: No, I did.
    JO: 1) Find Bernard Bartlett, inform him of the game and the upcoming tournament for the game. Check.
    JO: 2) Make sure he has a specibus (axekind, thank you) and update him to Pesterchum. Check.
    LT: And the other thing?
    JO: What other thing?
    LT: Uh, 3) Tell Bernie of my chumhandle, then tell him to message me?!
    JO: I snuck a peek at his UI. He had two messages waiting for him. I'd assumed one of them was a detailed description of your body.
    LT: And I was supposed to know his UI how?

    Lena Travencal bitch-slapped Jason Orville at 10:36AM, 3/19.

    Jason Orville began whining at Lena Travencal at 10:36AM, 3/19

    Aforementioned parties continued talking at 10:42AM, 3/19
    JO: Well, blah blah to you too. Bitch.
    LT: I'd tell you to kiss my ass, but you'd actually do it, then I'd have to do a 2x BITCHSLAP COMBO.
    JO: Time for that later. So how's the tourney going?
    LT: It's going well. I've called the companies and set up food. Also, I've informed every major FLARP guild.
    LT: They'll all be there, whether to fight, scope some choice prey, choice asses, and or choice recruits.
    JO: Nice. What does that bring the head count to? A few hundred?
    LT: At least six hundred, from what I'm anticipating.
    JO: I believe this is the beginning of something incredibly awesome.





    JO: So about that ride.

    Lena Travencal bitch-slapped Jason Orville at 10:45PM. 2x BITCHSLAP COMBO
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  23. 03-01-2012, 04:05 PM #23
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    JO: Scheme malevolently. That Bluh bluh huge bitch has it coming.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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  24. 03-02-2012, 05:58 AM #24
    Levenfish
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    >JO: Scheme malevolent and totally awesome plots against the huge bitch.
    Huh? Why would I do that? She gets away with what she does is since she's my best friend.
    Also, it helps that she's one of the few that's trusted among humans and not automatically hated among trolls. Kinda like this troll we know, who acts like her, but for the trolls.

    Let's make it clear; if I were in trouble, I would rely on Bernie to figure out what the hell needs to be done, and for Lena to get it done.

    >JO: Start valiantly climbing the echeladder.

    Alright, time to do this! Lena, let's get up! Lena?
    Oh right.

    Jason Orville talked to Lena Travencal at 10:47AM, 3/19
    JO: Let's do this shit! Let's pick up Bernie and start killing everything!
    LT: Right. Because killing is the only solution. I've already gained levels for diplomacy.
    JO: So I can get levels for getting with others?
    LT: I'm going to hate myself for saying yes. Yes. Yes you can.
    JO: Score!
    Velias Narfos joined the conversation at 10:48AM, 3/19
    VN: Lena! Hi!
    LT: Velias! How are you? How's the guild?
    VN: We're doing very well. Uh, have you seen Cirona recently?
    LT: No, actually. I haven't heard from her for a few days.
    JO: She talked to me yesterday. Gave me a very firm speech on respecting the other gender.
    VN: Oh. Alright. Well, if you see her, let me know. We'd like to figure out her role for some calculations.
    LT: Roles?
    VN: Yep. We've found our roles. They're not what I thought they'd be, and they seem to derive party from mythology.
    VN: I don't trust it. Mine's supposed to be insanity!rage. That's not comforting.
    LT: Oh. Oh dear.
    JO: Do you have that thingamajig on you atm?
    VN: You want to check your own roles? Okay, gimme a moment.
    VN: Interesting.
    VN: Jason, yours is fire!light. Nice.
    VN: Lena... Hmm? Mutation!life. I always knew you were at least partly a troll.
    LT: Oh well!
    JO: Fire? Oh.

    HELL


    FUCKING


    YES.

    Like we didn't see that last part coming.
    But what's Bernard been up to?
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  25. 03-02-2012, 06:10 AM #25
    Dmatix
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    Re: 216 Days (A Text Adventure)

    BB: Doze off. Dream. Perhaps the golden moon will provide answers.
    My Fanfic: Last Journey of the Knight of Sands, a tale of memory and loss.
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