Aligned With Stupid

[Zhangku]

>Equip Ninja-toh to your strife specibus. You never know when you'll be suddenly attacked.

[Naristar]

lookin in the spiked chest

[Why]

>Retrieve arms from training dummy.

[destinysWalrus]

>Equip Ninja-toh to your strife specibus. You never know when you'll be suddenly attacked.

You already have a strife specibus! It’s CARDKIND... or maybe KUNAIKIND? Quite frankly it’s a little confusing. Let’s just say CARDKIND for now.

> Confess deepest desires to training dummy.

"We've been through thick and thin, dummy. Friends forver... right? I've never wanted to hurt you, not really. You are the greatest friend a ninja fangirl could have."

>Retrieve arms from training dummy.

"But you've gone too far this time. You are going down."

[destinysWalrus]

It's actually amazing that the parentheses make the head-voice sound muffled. For some reason.

> Admire posters.

You do so.

Surf Ninjas Poster:

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One of your favorite movies. I mean, they're ninjas, AND they surf! That's just the best.

If you lived on the Troll capital Alternia, with its vastly larger movie history, that title might have been taken by some other movie, and this movie would have to have some kind of huge and oddly specific movie title. It's a good thing you don't live there, because that would be really stupid.

Surf's up! Time to save the world!

True, true words.

Naruto Poster:

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Your favorite of the Alien-Japanese animes, Naruto Shippuden. Currently it's at episode 10,987,456,
and for the past thousand episodes it's been at the thrilling climax of the story arc "Troll Naruto and
Troll Sasuke Fight Again". Their staring contests, flashbacks, and friendship speeches are hitting fever
pitch, and you can barely contain your excitement for the next episode.

WILL THE CAMERA PAN RIGHT AS NARUTO STARES

WILL THE CAMERA PAN LEFT AS NARUTO STARES

WHO KNOWS?

You sure don't.

You have another poster, but it’s on the other side of the room and you don’t feel like walking over there again just to admire it.

lookin in the spiked chest

You throw everything out of your chest with reckless abandon.
Now on the floor are your EAVESDROPPING EQUIPMENT, INFRARED GOGGLES, MILITARY KNIFE FROM OFFWORLD TROLL SWITZERLAND, MINIATURE SOFA, DR. MCNINJA COMIC, UNO CARDS, SMOKE PELLETS, and a DEAD RAT that apparently crawled in there before dying. You have no idea when that happened.



You also notice that NE's game has finished downloading. That's cool too.

[Naristar]

take everything before starting game

[destinysWalrus]

take everything before starting game

You walk over to the computer to start the game.



Oh hey, looks like after downloading the program, you now have to INSTALL it! What does installing even do? It's just dumb programming shit that takes up more of your time. The loading bar isn't even moving, what the hell.



It’s gonna take a long time to finish installing this thing. Better hunker down and kill some time.

[Naristar]

whos banging?

[Strider]

Your Lusus approaches. Prepare Kombat Protocols.

Also this has been in the cradle long enough. Could this be put with the other fanventures?

[skellytinhood]

Also this has been in the cradle long enough. Could this be put with the other fanventures?

Depending on how you count them, there are only at most 6 updates so far. You need 10 to escape the Cradle. So it has been written, so shall it be. Besides, there's nothing wrong with being in the Cradle. Not like all the good commands are reserved for the main subforum.

> Look forward to killing that banging noise soon.

[Xartarin]

whos banging?

I think you mean WHO'S banging. And if this machine is as valuable as the locals say it is, it's gonna let you watch.



On second thought, you'll barely be able to see anything from this angle. Why is the screen so high up, goddammit!?

Your Lusus approaches. Prepare Kombat Protocols.

Pffft, you wish.

> Look forward to killing that banging noise soon.

You’re not gonna need a lot of foresight here, the target’s still in plain sight. Looks like a Dipley is after your poor sweet totally normal pet dog, Rusty! But maybe Rusty can handle it by himself?

[skellytinhood]

> Dogs fighting monsters? Don't be silly. Intervene.

[Strider]

>Dog: Be the Ninja Dog. Show mad fighting skills.

[alexthewhite]

Ignore the dog. Concern yourself with the abandoned pair of boxers on the floor.

[Why]

Focus all attention on the training dummy on the far side of the room...look at it, taunting you! Rip it to shreds!

[Xartarin]

> Dogs fighting monsters? Don't be silly. Intervene.

Rusty is a good dog, but fighting a Dipley alone is a bit much. You leap into action to help your faithful companion!

Ignore the dog. Concern yourself with the abandoned pair of boxers on the floor.

You pick up the HEARTS BOXERS. Why are these here?

Focus all attention on the training dummy on the far side of the room...look at it, taunting you! Rip it to shreds!

Oh, they were on that dummy over there. Apparently they were removed along with its pants during the struggle.



Oh, wait, right, intervening. But... ignoring the dog? Focusing on the dummy? Argh, you’re so confused!





You hurl the HEARTS BOXERS at the Dipley, inconveniencing it! Oh ho, what a hilarious rip-snorting adventure we’re on here.

>Dog: Be the Ninja Dog. Show mad fighting skills.

Comical.



Good boy, Rusty. You are a fine and serviceable pet.



Your dog smells something. Something... unfamiliar. Something that shouldn’t logically be in the area. It might be good to investigate it.



Unless, of course, there are more pressing matters to attend to.

[skellytinhood]

> Oi. Oi you. Yes you. Ragged hooligan. Quit that.

[That Didn't Stop]

>Examine little yellow thingy on the floor.

[Doorhandle]

what's with all this *BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*?

[destinysWalrus]

> Oi. Oi you. Yes you. Ragged hooligan. Quit that.

>Examine little yellow thingy on the floor.

what's with all this *BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG**BANG*?

What the fuck does any of that have to do with deciding whether or not to follow your dog on a wondrous smellventure?

[Strider]

>Go on magical smellventure. Discover a rainbow demon.

[Naristar]

Ignore the dog

[Why]

Quick! Be the other chick! and go on the adventure, AT THE SAME TIME!

[destinysWalrus]

Quick! Be the other chick! and go on the adventure, AT THE SAME TIME!

You try and be one of the approximately 14 other chicks in this adventure, but you just give yourself a headache.

Ignore the dog

Maaaaybe....

>Go on magical smellventure. Discover a rainbow demon.

Well, that decides it, you’re going. As for demons, you don’t know of any rainbow ones, but there’s a green one right here in the basement. Already discovered that one cycles ago.

Looks like the smell trail continues over there.

[Zhangku]

=> Stealthily sneak into the cave and surprise the demon.