Pick up the nearest book to you.

[BrailleOperatic]

"Guilds often require dues, oaths of loyalty, or other requirements of their members."

I guess...I'm getting some hot monogamy this year? I think my copy of the Dungeon Master's Guide might be a little clingy. Maybe we need to read other books...

[legacySystems]

Act of Valor, The novelization. "He was also a legend in the SEAL Teams"

What is this I don't even.

[missEND]

Page 45 of SHERLOCK HOLMES The Complete Novels and Stories Volume 1
Well it begins in the middle of a sentence, carrying over from the previous page but i'll just type whats on this page til the end of the sentence.
"other side of the street,'Drive to 13,Duncan Street,Hounds-ditch,'she cried"
Well at least ive got a location picked out.

[Graknorke]

Double or Die of the oung Bond series:

"'This is ridiculous', said Tommy."

Page 45 of Blue Boa (I don't even know why I have these kinds of books lying around I don't even like wizards)
"On his way to the dining hall, charlie had to pass the portraits".
Cryptic. Or something. I don't even.

Okay, there has to be another book in this circle of nearest books, yes, Michael Morpurgo, don't fail me now!
Page 45 of Alone on a Wide Wide sea.
"Sunday at Cooper's Station was the only day we didn't have to work."
nooooooooooo
Fuck this. Getting rejected even when falling back on homo, art, and prostitution.

Well fuck.

[Mustavus]

A few books we're near me in a stack and I'm not sure how to fairly judge their closeness.

Even before the curtain passed over my consciousness, I registered the success of my experiment: the bottles of raspberry syrup which I had intentionally taken with me in my fall made clatter enough to bring Matzerath from the kitchen, Mama from the piano, and the rest of the birthday party from the Vosges, all running the shop, to open the door, and down the stairs.
-The Danzig Trilogy, Gunter Grass

Exhibitionism + syrup experimentation? Could be worse.

Ay, but her forehead's low, and mine's as high.
-Some publication of the complete works of Shakespeare

Fair 'nuff. I like short chicks.

It is rather in engagement with the struggle for social justice that one begins to see the deep, furrowed glance of the preacher become leader of the people.
-2004 Princeton Seminary Bulletin

Maybe I'll come up with some interpretation of this when I figure out where it came from.

[Graknorke]

Say.
Does anyone have a copy of that one erotic novel all of the middle aged women are reading now-a-days.
The one with the horrifyingly bad/horrifying imagery?
Something about grey I think.

[SunglassescladGunslinger]

Mark 14 70: And he denied it again.

[Magnum]

So, I got Roget's College Thesaurus. It said:

Calm, adj. & v. -adj. placid, serene, unruffled, cool, composed, undisturbed, unperturbed; phlegmatic, sedate; tranquil, still, motionless, halcyon; peaceful, pacific.

So...I can't tell if it's gonna be good (ie. Serene, Cool) or not (ie. Still, Motionless).

[seriouscupcakes]

The closest book was the dictionary.

"a porthole designed to be opened to the outside air."

...I'm not sure what to make of this.

[seriouscupcakes]

Say.
Does anyone have a copy of that one erotic novel all of the middle aged women are reading now-a-days.
The one with the horrifyingly bad/horrifying imagery?
Something about grey I think.

Fifty Shades Of Grey. And oh god no. That book is so bad it hurts.

[Cat Sage]

The Necronomicon, I'm currently reading The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath, Which appears to be reference in Homestuck, I guess that is where Hussie got the idea for dream selves maybe? I haven't got all the way through it though so I don't actually know.

the First sentence of page 45 is;
"Then came a period when luck was poor; interments fell off, and those that did occur were specimens either too diseased or too maimed for us."
Damn. My sex life looks awful.

[Graknorke]

Fifty Shades Of Grey. And oh god no. That book is so bad it hurts.

Yes.
So bad it could potentially be funny.
Especially in the context of this thread.
Or it could just be really terrible and dull.
I just find it kind of odd how nobody cares about middle aged women reading pornography while commuting, in doctor's waiting rooms, children's parks etc.

[Trueblader]

"Man or ghost, the assailant came from behind."
Oh

[PatsuSenpai]

Gilan took a deep breath and looked them both in the eye, one after the other.

[Remnant]

Physics of the Impossible by Michio Kaku
"But even the NIF Laser Fusion Machine, containing the most powerful lasers on Earth, cannot begin to approximate the devastating power of the Star Wars Death Star."
...
So... Planet-Busting sex?

EDIT: Oh dear God! Thank goodness THAT was the closest book. The next nearest one was Fullmetal Alchemist Volume 8
The first one sentence on pg. 45 there is... Well... let's just say it sounds completely illegal.

[reptilesShadow]

Silence falls in the truck.
...

[Goan]

"Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe."

I am not surprised.

[proserpine]

The Arabian Nights:

Part Three

. . . huh.

[Mystery Solved]

I devoured my bread and drank my coffee with relish; but I should have been glad of as much more-- I was still hungry.

[awfulAlliteration]

"I'm taking donations in the one-dollar range."

....Wut. XD

[MilesT3hr4t]

the nearest book to me is "The Lovecraft library - Horror out of arkham" a compilation of HP Lovecraft.
Within that, the 'closest' 'book' is Herbert west, reanimator,which starts on page 17, so page 45 of reanimator, is page 62.

It's a blank page.


okay... no more shinanigans, page 45 of the physical book, "When dr. Herbert West disappeared a year ago, the boston police questioned me closely"

OH GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO?!

[pizzopaps]

Game of Thrones, oh no.
"He paused beside a pillar, before the tomb of a long-dead Stark"

oh.

[MilesT3hr4t]

Yes.
So bad it could potentially be funny.
Especially in the context of this thread.
Or it could just be really terrible and dull.
I just find it kind of odd how nobody cares about middle aged women reading pornography while commuting, in doctor's waiting rooms, children's parks etc.

you mean like Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 shades of grey?

[Graknorke]

you mean like Gilbert Gottfried reads 50 shades of grey?

Okay why was I not alerted to this sooner this is perfect.
And should be taken throughout the ENTIRE book. Because that it probably the only way you could get me to pay attention to it. Or I guess in a thick Yorkshire accent either. Preferably someone with smoker's cough interrupting in the middle. Because things are funnier when out of context. And it shows up the bad writing.

[Neow46]

Ranger's apprentice: book 1: The ruins of Gorlan.
Nearest thing i had.