Jason: Converse with--- Wait a second. No. Cameron: Observe where you are.
Sweet catch, dipshit. The light fades for CAMERON, and you (that is, CAMERON) find yourself on a VAST PLAIN. You weren't in KANSAS before, but you might be there now. It's hard to tell. A STRONG GUST blows past you, the only indication of motion in a world divided between the GREEN of the plain and the DARKNESS of the sky above you. And yet despite its ferocity, I feel like
This is a Land of Gale and Solace.
Cameron: Get pestered.
UT starts pestering you.
Upon closer inspection, there is a LAKE in the distance.
UT: Zoom out for a better look.
Not much to see. Just endless prairies.
Didn't you already do that? Oh! You mean the house! Yeah! You head on back inside, and immediately hear something MOVING.
Cameron: Find your staff.
It's in the CLOSET, like JEREMY probably is. You also are now quite certain that the TERRIFYING NOISES are coming from your room.
Didn't you already do that? Oh! You mean the room! Yeah! You enter your room and find HORRIFYING MONSTERS. Or Imps. Or something.
They're... you know what? Look at the damn picture. It's RIGHT THERE. Anyway. They approach.
Cameron: Kick some ass.
You jab at the closest IMP with your staff, and it explodes into BLUE PRISMS. The other two Imps look ready to flee, but UT does something useful by picking up the BED to move it into the way. One Imp trips the other one to save itself, but runs under the BED and is crushed horribly. The third one falls to your staff. So simple. How could your first battle in this place not be simple?
Cameron: Level up!
For your valor, you ascend to the next rung of your ECHELADDER, the unenviable ACONILE spot. This is almost negligible, really.
Cameron and UT: High-five.
You do so. It's awesome. You say you're awesome. God you two are getting full of yourselves. Pride goeth before destruction, and a haughty spirit before being tossed halfway ac-- before a fall. Bitches.
Story: Introduce a new character if you don't like these ones.
You are suddenly pestered by one of your FRIENDS, flightySeraph.
Cameron: Hear more noises.
You do so, specifically some BANGING on the door. Apparently SBURB would be more accurately titled "Silent Prairie."
Imps: Pour into the HALLWAY like so many GRAINS OF SAND.
Dear god why would you request so many Imps? You monster. So many. So many. You can't COUNT them all. Naturally your reaction is to SCURRY about grabbing all the stuff on the ground, like a fool. UT has a brain (like all SERVER players) and attempts to put a BED down, but of course, they just swarm over it. And under it. They're small.
Hell, when he throws BOOKS at them, they die but just keep coming.
You jump out the WINDOW to safety. UT plugs the hole behind you. You're now OUTSIDESTUCK.
UT: Block the wall.
You do so. It costs a bit of GRIST, but it's totally worth it bec- Because there are suddenly no Imps in that room anyway. You should have checked. Dammit.
You decide to tell Cameron before he makes an idiot of himself. He's already been all SOLID SNAKE in his own house while you weren't paying attention. Just pathetic.
UT: Do as instructed.
You put in a NEW DOOR and check your GRIST CACHE. There's stuff and things in there.
Cameron: Keep getting pestered.
Goddamn it is like PESTERCHUM CENTRAL in here.
Cameron: Head back to your room.
Yeah it's not like you're up to anything, so you might as well. Naturally, you start hallucinating and become convinced you're seeing your dead dog. It's the only way.