You Are Now the Hegemonic Boot

[empireomega]

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OH GOOD GOD IT'S A COMEBACK.
If you have been keeping track of me, this is a highly impercievable occurance, as well as something you most likely have been dreading.

Just bear with me here; this will be fun, I promise.

You are now the HEGEMONIC BOOT.


You are in TOWN doing nothing of too much interest. It is a balmy summer day. You are feeling particularly HARD-SOLED this afternoon.

What will you do?

[Whimbrel]

Knock down the door of that un-labeled building

[Naristar]

stomp the pumpkin

[DoctorIcePopCat]

>Pick up piece of paper lying in street

[98714123340]

Get the drugs for your heart condition.

[Whimbrel]

stomp the pumpkin

Nooo you foooool it's a TRAP

[Kíeros]

> Suddenly get decapitated before you are introduced much[/joke]

> Head into the drug store.

[empireomega]

stomp the pumpkin

Why would you ever do that? That's just your pal LINUS! You have been friends for years.
You exchange a variety of greetings and then he's on his way.

>Pick up piece of paper lying in street

You cross the street, along the way picking up the THREE OF SPADES.
OR SHOULD I SAY
THE THREE OF SUEDES
EEEHURRGHHEURGH!


The DECK is already over half complete. You have been busy collecting the enchanted CARDS for several months. You almost have all the CLUBS, but the KING remains missing. Then of course, there is the elusive JOKER, the fabled key to unlocking the TRUE POWER of the deck.

Get the drugs for your heart condition.

> Head into the drug store.

You enter the DRUG STORE. It is a small, young, proud establishment run by one of your closer acquaintences, the COURTYARD ROLLER.

[Kíeros]

> Suddenly realise that your friend, the Crooked Dance shoe is actually the King of Clubs.

[Lawface]

>Kick over all the shelves.

[Naristar]

shoplift casualy

[empireomega]

> Suddenly realise that your friend, the Crooked Dance shoe is actually the King of Clubs.

Your companion who is obviously a roller skate, dingdong, says it's funny you should mention that. He had just found the long-sought card earlier in the store, but a few UNSCRUPULOUS WHORES took it and escaped into the back of the store. If he went to retrieve it himself, they would PERSECUTE him indefinitely. He wonders if you would be kind enough to get it for him because you're more powerful and you're the one who wants it anyway.

You eagerly accept the task because, as everyone knows, performing a favor for someone allows you to BE that character!

He thanks you. He recommends stocking up on weapons and other supplies just in case.

[empireomega]

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NOPE THIS AINT DYIN ON MY WATCH

Knock down the door of that un-labeled building

You enter the UNDISCLOSED LOCATION. This looks like a nasty lair or something, stay on your guard.

Two UNLABELED BOXES lie next to you. There is a suspiciously large CRACK in the northern wall, and beside it is a small PESKY RODENT sitting in the corner basking in its own URINE. A HIRED MUSCLE blocks an ELEVATOR.

What will you do now?

[Mibbs]

make fun of hired muscle for being UGGly

[98714123340]

Befriend the Pesky Rodent

[Kíeros]

> Investigate said suspiciously large crack in the wall.

[ashdenej]

I made you a fanart

[empireomega]

Befriend the Pesky Rodent

That thing's just too damn nasty!!!!!
You will need to clean him up before he can join your party.
Trust me, you'll be doing everyone a favor by doing that.

make fun of hired muscle for being UGGly

You ask the HIRED MUSCLE what he's doing around these parts.
He says he's guarding the ARTILLERY STATION and he can't let you in unless you give him a PASSCODE.
Also he says if you're incorrect he gets to shoot your face off.

Well this is a pickle. Handing out a random passcode to this guy would be a foolish action, so you'll have to find some CLUES hiding around to make sure your guess is accurate.
Either that or find something to obliterate him with. That won't be easy, since he's literally blocking the path to the only weapons around, and this isn't just any old enemy.

> Investigate said suspiciously large crack in the wall.

You can't just go checking every wall crack you run into. It must be filthy as hell in there, and besides, you have work to do.

I made you a fanart

That's pretty sweet dude, thanks a lot!!

[HighwayWizard]

>Abscond with the boxes and their contents.

[gumbal1]

> HB: Defeet the HIRED MUSCLE.

[Fyrus Reebilz]

>HB: Use the mouse as a distraction!

[greenMachine]

> HB: Defeet the HIRED MUSCLE.

Have you played Paper Mario? Kent C. Koopa is...difficult. Not outright impossible, mind you, but very difficult (at least for the game's target audience). We'll need to level-grind, grab some Ultra Athletes'-Foots, and maybe find a few Toe-Jammin' Jellies before we could even hope of beating this punk.

Or we could use Danger Boot, I guess. Although I'm not sure if that's possible in the original...

All jokes aside, check the boxes, and then leave the building for some other place.

[Kíeros]

You can't just go checking every wall crack you run into. It must be filthy as hell in there, and besides, you have work to do.

But this isn't any old crack, it's a suspiciously large one with Gamzees running in it. If you need to do your work first, then fine, but come back to this eventually.

[Edrobot]

Gamzee: What are you doing here?

[empireomega]

Gamzee: What are you doing here?

I'll give you a hint.

>Abscond with the boxes and their contents.

All jokes aside, check the boxes, and then leave the building for some other place.

The HIRED MUSCLE says he's afraid he can't let you see what's in those BOXES.

Uh-oh. Think fast.


EDIT: Threw together a little Gamzee wallcrack avatar. Anyone can use it as long as they link to this adventure in their signature.