OMNIA: Chapter 8: Three Unwise Men

[DS Piron]

#> ...Please tell me you're already at the other side of that road.

2> ...Assuming you can take on that Hydralisk,
1> ...or repeat that last part again, with less... corruption...

[thetoastking]

Maaaaaaaaaaaan.

How the fuck did I get here?

This place is a drag.

Shit, where's everyone?

Guess I'm all alone... How dull.

And to top it off, I'm hungry.

... I could go for some breadsticks right now.

Shit, I'm lonely.

All by myself... Don't wanna be all by myseeeeeeeee-

Wait a moment, isn't that Lucian?

Holy guacamole, it is!

- "Lucy! Hey Lucy! Wazzup dude? This place is fucking boring, let's go bowling or some shit!

... Do you have any breadsticks? I'm kinda hungry."

Lucian I know you like close-range weapons
However this calls for a longer approach
I have formed myself into a cannon-like weapon
And I need you to do something
I don't have the power to pass Rick's Light by my own strength
I need you to hit something over on his island with me
I can break it down
And manifest
While still helping you
This Hydralisk is not as it seems
You must be very careful
Do you understand
Now fire me
He may be your only hope of not
dying

[Adept]

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MEGABUSTERRRRRR

Charge up to full power, then fire!

[flyingBrick]

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@Just gonna leave this here.@

[Xander]

'Hit something... Easier said than done! Though that wagon... If I aim carefully...' Lucian turned quickly and fired off a single shot.

[thetoastking]

Hit something... Easier said than done! Though that wagon... If I aim carefully...
Lucian turned quickly and fired off a single shot, the blast echoing through The One. The charge ripples the fabric of The Vision; Hence we see this through... Different eyes.

The ball of what could loosely be called energy flies through the air...

And causes us to now be Rick. You're camping, and everything is fine. There is some smoke in the air, no doubt due to your campfire. Looking around, you can see trees-wait! There's a noise coming from behind you! You spin around and notice-

A woman; She was of modest build, skinny, almost frail. She seemed weary; Cold; Alone. Her face betrayed her purpose before she even spoke, yet rick seemed almost sympathetic to her. After a minute, she finally mustered up the courage to speak, her voice soft, with notes of weariness.
"Excuse me... Um... Can-M-May I-I p-please sit down near your fire? M-Mine went out after we were attacked... I've traveled... For so long; I had almost given up h-hope of finding safety... Will you let me in your camp?"

[Travosh]

Riiiick, treat the mysterious smoke lady nicely!

[Adept]

She seems nice!

[flyingBrick]

Huh, wait, wazzup?

Why is my head hurting?

And why am I craving breadsticks?

And who is this woman?

- "Hey lassy, wazzup?"

Man, I'm so good with words.

I don't know, there's something strange about this girly. But I can't really put my finger on it...

Damn, it's hard to think like this.

Riiiick, treat the mysterious smoke lady nicely!

But what the hell, Lord Travosh thinks it's a good idea.

- "Sure, babe. Grab a seat. I'm Richard... Something. You can call me Ricky. World's best merchant and a damn good adventurer too... Now, I don't suppose you have any breadsticks, do you?"

[thetoastking]

30 SECONDS EARLIER...
Huh, wait, wazzup?

Why is my head hurting?

And why am I craving breadsticks?

And who is this woman?

- "Hey lassy, wazzup?"

Man, I'm so good with words.
IN THE PRESENT...


I don't know, there's something strange about this girly. But I can't really put my finger on it...

Damn, it's hard to think like this.

- "Sure, babe. Grab a seat. I'm Richard... Something. You can call me Ricky. World's best merchant and a damn good adventurer too... Now, I don't suppose you have any breadsticks, do you?"

"Oh... Th-Thank you so much, mister Rick!"
The woman shuffled over to the log where rick now sat, bearing a grateful face. Her posture seemed defeated, and, as rick asked about food, her face twisted into a loose frown.

"I... Don't have any of those, i'm so sorry... But, I do have one thing... It's just... well... It's not conventional food. It's why I'm on the run."

She procured, seemingly out of nowhere, an apple; It was impossible to focus on. One could always see a blurry apple, certainly, but the details couldn't be made out. Rick was puzzled. Food with no solidity? What kind of apple was this?
"This is the fruit of knowledge from the tree of paradise. It's said to give whoever eats it knowledge of good and evil... But... I don't want to know the truth. Not after what happened when me and my companions... Well..."
She bowed her head lowly, and a single tear missed the apple. This was obviously a painful thing for her to do; She gently pulled rick's hands over the apple.
"Please... just take it. You need food, and I can't hold onto it anymore. They're after me Rick. The angels... They want me dead because we took from the tree. We knew what would happen, but we did it anyways! They ate the fruit, saw something... then were sliced in half-f-f-f!"
she began to cry, her head resting, almost burrowed, into rick's shoulders. Rick held the fruit, curiously examining it. The legendary fruit of Good and Evil... But what had killed this kind woman's companions? Angels? Angels usually don't murder people... ... And they were after her...

And she couldn't see them.

[Adept]

Normally I might recommend against something like this, but it sorta seems like a good idea right now!

...Also Rick what is up with your face?

[Travosh]

I remember the last person I asked to eat a weird apple. Ended wonderfully! Should follow in their footsteps!

[Saint Game]

When Adam and Eve ate the fruit, it ended up being the original sin, making Jesus die for us. Let's not repeat that shall we?

[flyingBrick]

- "Whazzit now? That sure is a funky fruit you got there, lady."

> Rick smells the apple carefully.

- "Okay lassy, I might be a little bit hungry and somewhat high right now, but I should at least ask my doctor before eating this, my stomach is not what it used to be anymore... Also, I have a policy of not eating strange fruit, Papa Flynn raised no fool."

> He turns the apple around in his hand a little.

- "Though I can hold onto it for you, missy. After all, adventurers always carry weird stuff like this. If worse comes to pass, I can protect it... Wait... Where the hell is my axe?! That shit was my granddaddy's! Also, why am I on my underpants?"

> Rick seems to be sobering up a little.

- "Augh, fuck, my head hurts."

[thetoastking]

- "Okay lassy, I might be a little bit hungry and somewhat high right now, but I should at least ask my doctor before eating this, my stomach is not what it used to be anymore... Also, I have a policy of not eating strange fruit, Papa Flynn raised no fool. Though I can hold onto it for you, missy. After all, adventurers always carry weird stuff like this. If worse comes to pass, I can protect it... Wait... Where the hell is my axe?! That shit was my granddaddy's! Also, why am I on my underpants?"
Rick grabs his head; His brain is slamming left and right, desperate to tell him something, but what?
- "Augh, fuck, my head hurts."
The woman stands up, letting out a sigh of despair.
"I was hoping I could accomplish this subtly. I really was. But, I see, even in your adventuring nature, you are still just as naive as ever, Rick. It pains me to have to do this, but It seems..."

I'm just going to have to
Tell you flat out
What's happening
Rick
This campground does not exist in reality
I am not supposed to take the form of your dead wife
but I am allowed to because we are not in the real world
we are in The One
The Collective of Corrupted
They have clouded your vision
But I have placed my hopes
In the apple
Lucian has my aid
But even in here
With me being so weak
I do not know how long he and I can last
You need to-

In a sudden display of normality, the universe corrects itself from this grievous misjustice; The harpie's head explodes by an unknown force, silencing it from poisoning our camper's ears. What could it have been? Probably some kind of magical creature hellbent on luring Rick to his demise. Rick stood and looked at the disgusting fruit the creature gave him; It smelled of poison and treachery.

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sorry about the super late update, I've been dealing with a lot of troubling personal issues lately.

[Adept]

No Rick! She was not evil, and neither is the fruit!!

[Saint Game]

Well ok then. Rick, eat as though you've never eaten before!

[Travosh]

See? I tells ya to eat something, ya don't, and suddenly women's heads start 'splodin! Shoulda just chomped that thing right away.

[flyingBrick]

- "Well, shit."

> Rick grabs the apple from the ground.

- "Welp, what you gonna do?"

> He eats the apple.

[thetoastking]

>[S]Rick: Indulge.

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I suppose now is as good a time as ever to tell you why this took so long. Quite personally, I was sweeping some dirty laundry; But it's probably more therapeutic that they come to air out a bit. So here goes.

I've been busy. Very busy. I've been gearing up for college, which will take up a lot of my free time, I've been looking for a new job (because I detest my current one), and, finally, My pet cat, tipper, well... I found out weeks ago she has terminal stomach cancer. We have no idea how long she's going to be around, and the concept of her dying just sucked all the creative juice right out of me. I'll be honest. I'm depressed. But, after some(many) adjustments(cuts) to the sound, I've finally gotten it done. Maybe I can relax a bit now. But... I mean, I'll be honest. I'm not sure if you guys are still with me on this. It's been so long, and I'd understand if you've jumped ship. If you have, let me know, and I'll... well, I'd probably turn you into another character, but I'd appreciate it if you stuck around. Updates may be few and sparse in this new day and age, especially with the looming cloud of death hanging over my home, but I'll try my hardest to get more frequent updates out. I really appreciate you guys who still read and suggest for this. You've kept this running, and I thank you for that. If you're wondering what the music is in the movie, it's Freak on a leash by Korn, and Professor Pumplestickle from Two Steps from Hell. Anyways, enjoy? Sorry this took so long again.

[Adept]

Welp.

[Travosh]

Ain't that some shit.

[Askia]

land "gracefully"

[thetoastking]

land "gracefully"

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???: "Cap! They're... They're alive...!

You Black Out.

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REMEMBER... IN THE END, I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT... HA HA HA HA HA HA... WAKE UP NOW. COME ON. WAKE UP. Wake up! I SAID WAKE UP! Ugh!

???: "They're out like a light. Gods damn it."
???: "When do you think they're going to wake up? They've been out for 3 days now!"
???: "I have no fucking idea. Normal people don't come crashing down while on fire. And fire isn't supposed to look like that. Not even magical fire. But... I can sense their gods nearby. They're watching us, so it should be soon. We just have to be patient."

[DS Piron]

> Get up.