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Thread: [U4G - We're officially dead!] Quest for the Godwich

  1. #26
    animatedBlasphemy's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - >[S] Play the Godwich

    >Laila: Wink at him in a mischievous manner

    OH BABY.
    You've turned the "HOT" dial on the SEXY oven all the way up to ELEVEN by proceeding to give your rival a mischievous wink AND by throwing in a kiss.
    This will surely perturb him! Oh what fun!

    Your rival then proceeds to shove his middle finger up at you.

    >==>

    Gee, that was rude.

    >Laila: PUNCH HIM, PUNCH HIS SMUG STUPID FACE

    That sounds like a good idea! You used to punch him around when you two were in grade school. You always got a kick out of it, but he never seemed to like it... It was probably something to do with your cold metal fingers- OH WHO COULD THIS BE?

    >==>

    Oh it's one of your assistants who is going to be accompanying you on your journey for the GODWICH!
    His name is SOUP.
    SOUP likes to speak in some weird moon-speak language that you have never understood, and never will understand.

    He's saying something over and over about... Clams? Clam chowder? Clam file? Oh! He's saying CLAN. ...You guess? Huh...
    Oh... You know what he wants..

    >==>

    Goood GODWICH, he wants you to HELP him again...
    Just because you're some big super star Chef doesn't mean you've gotta help EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY PERSON with their STUPID STUPID FOOD RELATED PROBLEMS. (And in this city, it's ALWAYS food related)
    It's enough stress to turn your ETERNAL SMILE to a THREATENING SCOWL.
    It's also enough to make you wish you were your pathetic RIVAL. Even or just a second. He's so unpopular that he doesn't have to deal with this mess. A life of solitude... What a great thing that must be...
    But that's not your life, and unfortunately it probably won't be for a while!
    So, what do you do about this?

    Last edited by animatedBlasphemy; 02-10-2012 at 11:30 PM.

  2. #27

    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    Delegate the work to your rival he probably has loads of free time.

  3. #28
    Toxic Snail Moderator Kíeros's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    Quote Originally Posted by 98714123340 View Post
    Delegate the work to your rival he probably has loads of free time.
    Agreed. If you're nicer to him, then stuff will happen, and you can distract him and get to the godwich easier.
    :      
    Jury Duty 3  MSPA Madness

  4. #29
    Neither old, nor a Rupee OldManRupee's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    Be the rival.
    Along with my space-setting forum adventure, I have many PROJECTS and CONTESTS, as viewed below. I like to think of myself as an ideas man, and an inspirator of others.

  5. #30
    Paranoid Android Yako's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    Quote Originally Posted by 98714123340 View Post
    Delegate the work to your rival he probably has loads of free time.
    Be sure to make it sound like the super specialest job a man could possibly have and emphasize how popular he will be doing this ultra-important favor for you.

  6. #31
    What's a God to a Non-Believer Moderator Solaris's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    No wait! If we do it like that, then he will KNOW that something is up.
    Let's use reverse psychology, going up and at first offering him Soup's quest then correcting ourselves, saying that he probably doesn't need to do such a ultra-important and notoriety gaining job nope, later, see ya.

  7. #32
    animatedBlasphemy's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - Where Eternal Smiles turn to Scowls

    >Laila: Delegate the work to your rival, he probably has loads of free time

    That sounds like a good idea! You'll mention the popularity he might get and he'll be like pudding melting in your hands!

    >==>

    "HEY."

    >==>

    RIVAL: "You know as well as anyone that my door doesn't work."

    He's right. When you two were children, your GRANDFATHER had beaten that door down with his MAGIC CANE shifting its dimensions and the reality of the house itself.
    You think.

    >==>

    LAILA: "Hey there~"
    RIVAL: "What do you want?"
    LAILA: "Nothing much! Just a favor!"
    RIVAL: "...What kind of favor?"
    LAILA: "It's nothing! I was just hoping you could help my friend SOUP with one of his problems! You see, I'm really busy! Trying to go on my Quest for the Legendary Godwich and all that... So I was hoping you could take care of this for me!"
    Your RIVAL looks interested, but not impressed.

    >Laila: Use reverse psychology

    LAILA: "Then again... you probably don't need all that popularity that'll come from helping out not only a citizen, but from helping ME! I on the other hand could use the popularity..."
    RIVAL: "Wait wha-"

    >==>

    LAILA: "Au revoir, love~"
    RIVAL: "WAIT."

    >==>

    RIVAL: "Fine, I'll THINK about it."
    LAILA: "Good enough for me! SOUP is over there if you need him, saying something about clams in moon-speak."
    RIVAL: "He's saying 'CLAN'S COMING.' And it's not moon-speak, it's SPANISH, you idiot."
    LAILA: "Whatever you say! Ta ta!"

    >Laila: Be the RIVAL

    You cannot be the RIVAL! You are too busy being you and he is too busy being him!
    If you really wanted to be him, you should have chosen the BOY CHARACTER back at the CHOOSE YOUR GENDER station.
    So instead of thinking what it would be like to be your RIVAL, you think of some places where you could recruit, or gather supplies for your QUEST.
    The first two places that come to mind are the TAVERN and the MAGE'S HUT. You could go to either of those places, or you could think of another place to go to! The choice is yours!

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    >Be the boy

    You are now the boy! A really disgusted boy!
    As previously mentioned YOU are the best darn chef in all of Culinary Crossing.
    Actually that's a total lie. You are actually considered the WORST chef in all of Culinary Crossing. However, that TOTALLY IS NOT YOUR FAULT. You would much rather be a FLORIST but you kinda fell into the whole baking thing...
    The best chef is actually your STUPID STUPID AWFUL NEIGHBOR.
    GOD she makes you so mad.
    You just wanna scream!
    Scream that, "I, BLANKITY BLANK, OF BLAKITY BLANK'S BLANKERY AM THE BETTER CHEF."
    But you can't really scream that because your name isn't actually BLANKITY BLANK and your bakery's name isn't actually BLANKITY BLANK'S BLANKERY... Bakery.
    You actually got so mad that you FORGOT the proper nomenclature of yourself AND your store.
    Way to go, stupid.

    Ugh. What were those names again?

    Last edited by animatedBlasphemy; 02-10-2012 at 11:32 PM.

  8. #33
    What's a God to a Non-Believer Moderator Solaris's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Benson Rigby

    Benson's

  9. #34
    Shaman of Noise supersinger472's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Chef Gordon Ramsey

    Hell's Kitchen

  10. #35
    animatedBlasphemy's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Can we get a SHAMELESS SELF BUMP UP IN HERE?
    YEAH WE CAAAAAAAAAAAN.


  11. #36
    Beware, I <3 words. gloomyMoron's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Quote Originally Posted by animatedBlasphemy View Post


    > Alynn Godwich, named such after your great-great-great-great-granduncle who is said to have been the first to make the Godwich. The name of your shop is: "God's Own Brans and Breads Bakery" or "Gobb-ery" for short, though only since you became head chef. You suspect it to be called that in mocking, at least.


  12. #37
    Paranoid Android Yako's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Your name is Morales "Muffin" Excellence.

    Your bakery is called the Muffin Tin, despite its wide range of products-- it's where you got your nickname.

    ETA:
    Quote Originally Posted by animatedBlasphemy View Post
    Last edited by Yako; 02-05-2012 at 10:11 AM.

  13. #38
    Neither old, nor a Rupee OldManRupee's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Matthew Baker

    Baker's Bakery and Flower Arrangement Establishment
    Along with my space-setting forum adventure, I have many PROJECTS and CONTESTS, as viewed below. I like to think of myself as an ideas man, and an inspirator of others.

  14. #39

    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Quote Originally Posted by OldManRupee View Post
    Matthew Baker
    Actually, You're Matthew Baker Jr, the same name as your great father, a ridiculously well-known chef. You never really knew him growing up, but with a name like that, you were practically forced into the buisness

  15. #40
    Neither old, nor a Rupee OldManRupee's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Also, you look like this
    Along with my space-setting forum adventure, I have many PROJECTS and CONTESTS, as viewed below. I like to think of myself as an ideas man, and an inspirator of others.

  16. #41
    animatedBlasphemy's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    >Heck's Kitchen

    "Heck's Kitchen" huh? That might be a good place to start!
    The owner of that restaurant, GORDON (pronounced gore-DOn, with emphasis on the O. He always emphasized the emphasis...) was a foreign exchange student from the universe HEXTRACK 7 (formerly known as the UNDERWORLD) who camped out on your college dorm's courtyard during his stay in your universe, CULLRITE 23.
    He loved to sit out back and grill sausages on his sickle, but his specialty was always Soulcabobs.
    With his Major in Culinary Artifacts and Minor in the Soul Stewing, GORDON seems like a wonderful candidate to join your quest!

    >==>

    You pick up the phone and decide to call him right away!

    >==>


    >==>


    >==>

    "Hello?"

    >==>

    Oh no... It's his WIFE. Your former room-mate in college and current hatred.

    "Hello? Do you have the wrong number?"

    You murmur what could possibly be considered a mix between the sound someone makes when a cake has been smashed into their face and the sound of receiving an electric shock.
    You literally have no idea what to say.
    What should you say?


    AUTHOR NOTE:

    Last edited by animatedBlasphemy; 02-10-2012 at 11:34 PM.

  17. #42
    Perplexingly Pseudonymous suomynonAyletamitlU's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    > Make the noise someone makes when their tongue is caught in an eggbeater. It helps.

    ~Sayu
    Agents of Chaos: An adventure about superheroes and society only slightly held back by being text-only

  18. #43
    Loather of Irk's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Scream "I WISH" and hang up the phone.

    Wait a few seconds and call again, hoping that GORDON will pick it up instead.

  19. #44
    Shaman of Noise supersinger472's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Step 1. Hang up and call back
    Step 2. Rinse and repeat until GORDON picks up

  20. #45
    Paranoid Android Yako's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Mask your voice, make it really deep or something. Pretend you're your rival looking for some help. You can figure out the details later.

  21. #46
    Neither old, nor a Rupee OldManRupee's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Laila: Be courteous to the point of satire.
    Along with my space-setting forum adventure, I have many PROJECTS and CONTESTS, as viewed below. I like to think of myself as an ideas man, and an inspirator of others.

  22. #47
    Beware, I <3 words. gloomyMoron's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    > "Is your refrigerator running?"
    - If Yes, "Then you better go catch it."
    - If No, "I know, we're sending a technician out as soon as possible. This is a service call."
    - If any other response, PANIC!


  23. #48
    animatedBlasphemy's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    >Enter Name

    That's right. UNFORTUNATELY, the name given to you at birth is ALYNN GODWICH. You were able to remember because that is one of the MANY THINGS that it takes you FOREVER TO TYPE on your ancient digital-typewriter.
    Stupid, lousy, awful AZERTY style keyboard... Why couldn't it have been something more convenient? Like ABCDEF, or... QWERTY? No wait that's stupid too...

    You were, of course, named after your GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDUNCLE who was the FIRST CREATOR OF THE LEGENDARY GODWICH.
    You would like to tell people that's the reason you fell into the Culinary business, but the real story behind it all is far more tragic than that, and if you were to tell it you would feel even more hideously hopeless than you feel now. SO LET'S MOVE ON.
    Even though your original name is ALYNN, you've been going under the pseudonym of MATTHEW EXCELLENCE (hus naming your store "EXCELLENCE'S EXCELLENCE") ever since you were 7 (Thirteen years ago to be exact!). You adopted this name because you believed that if you were to have true success as a CULINARY MASTER, you wouldn't abuse your heritage.
    You would instead use your TRUE SKILLS.

    >==>

    YUP, AS MATTHEW EXCELLENCE, YOUR EXCELLENT SKILLS OBVIOUSLY KNOW NO BOUNDS! AHAAAA.

    >==>

    Except not really.

    >==>

    Yeah, remember how you said you were going to use your TRUE SKILLS to become a CULINARY MASTER? Yeah. Too bad your skill level is at ABSOLUTE ZERO. The temperature at which EVERYTHING FREEZES.
    Actually it's more like -3 degrees... KELVIN. That's like, the temperature where even EMOTIONS begin to freeze.

    Maybe abusing your heritage would have been a much better idea... Instead of it helping you, it's just been looming over you, telling you that you won't ever accomplish anything as great as the great men that have come before you.
    God, why couldn't you have just buckled down and been a GARDENER like you always wanted?
    Your skills with plants is like, 208 Celsius or something... That's higher than Fahrenheit, right? Yeah okay.

    >==>

    Anyways... You've got a good feeling that today's the day that all your heritage stops looming over you...

    There's still some time to kill before your daily window watching, so...

    >==>

    Which of your family heirlooms will you BURN first?

    Last edited by animatedBlasphemy; 02-10-2012 at 11:35 PM.

  24. #49
    Shaman of Noise supersinger472's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    > Guide to the godwich

  25. #50
    Toxic Snail Moderator Kíeros's Avatar
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    Re: [U4G] Quest for the Godwich - I've got 99 problems and they're all food related.

    Those shades which had a bite taken out of them.

    If not, then
    Quote Originally Posted by supersinger472 View Post
    > Guide to the godwich
    :      
    Jury Duty 3  MSPA Madness

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