That's right. UNFORTUNATELY, the name given to you at birth is ALYNN GODWICH. You were able to remember because that is one of the MANY THINGS that it takes you FOREVER TO TYPE on your ancient digital-typewriter.
Stupid, lousy, awful AZERTY style keyboard... Why couldn't it have been something more convenient? Like ABCDEF, or... QWERTY? No wait that's stupid too...
You were, of course, named after your GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDUNCLE who was the FIRST CREATOR OF THE LEGENDARY GODWICH.
You would like to tell people that's the reason you fell into the Culinary business, but the real story behind it all is far more tragic than that, and if you were to tell it you would feel even more hideously hopeless than you feel now. SO LET'S MOVE ON.
Even though your original name is ALYNN, you've been going under the pseudonym of MATTHEW EXCELLENCE (hus naming your store "EXCELLENCE'S EXCELLENCE") ever since you were 7 (Thirteen years ago to be exact!). You adopted this name because you believed that if you were to have true success as a CULINARY MASTER, you wouldn't abuse your heritage.
You would instead use your TRUE SKILLS.
YUP, AS MATTHEW EXCELLENCE, YOUR EXCELLENT SKILLS OBVIOUSLY KNOW NO BOUNDS! AHAAAA.
Except not really.
Yeah, remember how you said you were going to use your TRUE SKILLS to become a CULINARY MASTER? Yeah. Too bad your skill level is at ABSOLUTE ZERO. The temperature at which EVERYTHING FREEZES.
Actually it's more like -3 degrees... KELVIN. That's like, the temperature where even EMOTIONS begin to freeze.
Maybe abusing your heritage would have been a much better idea... Instead of it helping you, it's just been looming over you, telling you that you won't ever accomplish anything as great as the great men that have come before you.
God, why couldn't you have just buckled down and been a GARDENER like you always wanted?
Your skills with plants is like, 208 Celsius or something... That's higher than Fahrenheit, right? Yeah okay.
Anyways... You've got a good feeling that today's the day that all your heritage stops looming over you...
There's still some time to kill before your daily window watching, so...
Which of your family heirlooms will you BURN first?