!!!BEAR CHALLENGE!!! (GRIZZLED VETERANS WELCOME)

[Varkarrus]

Go ahead.

[Fish]

Bearlog 3

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Apparently, I'm dead.

[Ultra]

BEARRRRR LOG 2:

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So im lke fucking stoned off my fucking mind, and what happens? I find out im in antartica, surrounded by polar bears. So in a matter of 0.0205000005324506 seconds I make a tuna bomb and kill all the bears. I then swim back to the forest.
But then i find out there's robotic bears. So what do I do? hide under a fucking rock. In fact, there are robo bears under the rock. In fact, as I write this, I am currently swimming in mother fucking robobears

[Ziddia]

Alright guys.

I AM MAN ENOUGH.

Here's my first bearlog.

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I dropped into the forest.

A bear saw me and ate me.

The end.

No wait, never mind, that was my creepy BEAR CHALLENGE FANFICTION. Here's the actual log.

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Since I was recently dropped into the forest, my main priority is to find food and shelter, because I was too silly to bring any food or shelter-building materials.

In fact, all I have is one butter knife, and the clothes on my back.

Oh, and one length of rope.

I'm hiding in a tree. Hope there's no BEARS around.

[Solaris]

The following was donated anonymously to the Society For Bear Horror Awareness

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I knew that I was getting into something. But I never could have imagined that it would go down like this.

For those of you who read this, I am going to let you know, I have no hope left. I come from the small town of Fogam, a place where the odd takes precedence over the sensible, and a slew of miracles hit it like a meteor shower. No one notices this, no one inside and no one outside. At least, not until now.

I thought that I could make it, that I could just waltz in and face these things, after all, I had fought Were-Bears before and lived, hadn't I?

I was wrong, so wrong, they aren't just Bears. It is a lie to get you, robots, demons, and those blasted Infections. God help you if you see one of the Infectioned Bears.

It was a mistake to come here, to be so cocky, to think that I could do this just because I killed a Were-Bear with a kickflip off the roof of the Malky Mart. God damn it that was awesome. What I fool I was, there aren't any Malky Marts here! Not one! But I'm not fool, even if I did have one, and if I didn't lose my board while trying to beat the Sunglassesclad Were-Bear-Hunter-Borg, I still wouldn't have been able to change a thing. It's too much. It's over for me.

I am tying this to my beloved Robot Bird, Kekarie, and I can only hope that he makes it back home. If you read this, mom and dad, I'm sorry for being such a fool.

Goodbye.

[insaneyanish]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

IT'S LIKE

IT'S LIKE THIS SPORT WAS

MADE FOR ME

WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP. TELL ME NOW. AAAAUGH I WANT, I JUST WANT IN SO BADLY. Do I get weapons? Supplies? If I can ask for some shit, all I would need is a knife and a rope. And a helicopter. That I get to crash-land. And trust me. I WILL crash land it. (Upside down.)

[azhdrake]

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

IT'S LIKE

IT'S LIKE THIS SPORT WAS

MADE FOR ME

WHERE THE FUCK DO I SIGN UP. TELL ME NOW. AAAAUGH I WANT, I JUST WANT IN SO BADLY. Do I get weapons? Supplies? If I can ask for some shit, all I would need is a knife and a rope. And a helicopter. That I get to crash-land. And trust me. I WILL crash land it. (Upside down.)

You decide what happens to you, the only thing specified is you get some weed. Have fun. Right about Your experiences in a spoilered BEAR LOG

[>:D]

Bear Log 1.

I found the bear, it was me

[Hob]

ok here goes...

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Bear log
OK this is weird. i just woke up from last nights party, and im on a roof. not even my OWN roof this time. it looks like some sort of outdoor gazebo. Is that even the right word? Anyway there is this little bear cub cuddling my leg. actually, its not cuddling my leg, its nailed to my leg. With some glue as well for good measure. It might even be honey. whatever. it all tastes good.
On reflection, it was probably glue and honey. so now my hand is glued to my mouth. Joy. there are a few more dead cubs around, and a pistol. I wave it around. I have never been so hardboile- WHOOOPs it went off in my one good hand. Some more bears were attracted from the forest all around because of the noise. I through some cubs at them.




well, its been 8 hours and the bears are still there. I think I will die of dehydration before the bears realise that A: the gazebo is not a tree and B: they cant push it over. I cant even get down without breaking my legs and getting mauled to death by the bears. I wont even get a chance to be like one of those guys off of tv and survive getting out of this forest.Like BEAR GRYLLS . im am so sorry for that pun. oh well. its getting to be night, so im going to go to sleep now.

these threads are so cool.

[balthazar]

Well, here goes nothing.

Transcribed Crash Audio Log#1:

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It wasn't that bad a landing, as far as landings go. Sure it was upside down and the plane was on fire, but I still walked away from it after extracting the flight stick from my chest cavity. Thank gods I had my original organs replaced after that business in Costa Rica, along with most else.

Whoever fired those SAMs didn't skimp either. The radar was clear until they were only a hundred meters off my tail, and at that range, the plane couldn't respond fast enough to dodge, and I didn't have any countermeasures to drop.

I sure hope that helicopter I spotted got away.

Looking over the twisted, smoldering wreckage of my plane, there isn't too much to salvage. I had a full tank of fuel when I went down, and it looks to have incinerated everything of possible value once the flames reached the tanks. Of my precious cargo of Scalemates plush toys there is no hope of survival. It is a cruel and harsh fate, even for those as deserving of it as Senator Lemonsnout. All I have is what I had on me when I escaped. It includes the following:

[1] brown leather bomber bomber jacket, Navy, B3.
[1] black suede cowboy hat, slightly battered.
[1] knit wool cap, AKA Tuque, blue.
[1] pair doeskin leather gloves, black.
[9] cigarillos, Colts, whiskey dipped.
[1] Canadian passport.
[1] wallet, containing a credit card sized multi tool, a pack of matches, a drivers/pilots licence, bank cards, about $23.40 in various currencies and coins, one symbol of hope, numerous receipts and other miscellaneous bits of paper.
[1] pack Beemans gum.
[1] spare set of plane keys.
[1] Zippo brand lighter, full.
[1] Buck folding knife, sharp.
[1] diamond sharpening tool.
[3] 30 rnd. magazines .9mm ammunition for left arm sub-gun.
[8] .12 gauge shot shells of various loads for right arm shotgun.
[2] 1kj pulse laser pistols, holsters in legs, smart chipped, capacitor banks located in upper arms.
[1] pissed off cyborg, stuck in woods, gaping hole in chest (under repair).

While it's more to work with then I'd have hoped under the circumstances, I somehow get the feeling that I have bigger problems then walking out of these woods, and potentially having to deal with whoever shot me down in the first place. For some reason I can't explain, I feel as if I'm being watched, even though nothing comes up on radar or sonar, and I can see nothing on thermal. But still I feel that something is out there, something malevolent, full of hunger and rage, and without fear.

I suppose I'll just have to teach it then.

I think that's all right.

[Hob]

Another one!

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Bear log 2

Well, it was better than some sleeps I have had. During the night some more damn glue stuck my pen to my hand. I only woke up because of a loudspeaker shouted something at me that in my half asleep state I didn't hear. Anyway, I had this bright idea of being all one with nature and using whatever I could find to get out of this forest. Survival types are always going on about that. So with my one slightly good hand, I reached around the back of the speaker and pulled out some wires. Now, if I had used my common sense, I would have known that live wires are NOT a good thing to hold on. Unfortunately, I didn't, and so the resultant burst of electricity made me jerk back. The speaker detached itself, and flew towards the ground. I put the wires in my pocket. I am still not sure what they are useful for, but after going through all that effort I AM NOT GIVING THEM UP.

I then realized I didn't even know what was underneath me. Somehow without falling off, I scoot myself around just far enough to get a face full of glass and pain. What looked like an open gazebo was actually a viewing station, with four glass walls. There is a man inside. He regarded me with surprise, which quickly turned to a look of greed. Quickly, I wrote down a message about how I needed help. He went down a hidden staircase and disappeared. I whacked the glass in my frustration. It made an ominous creaking sound, like it was only recently put up. After a few minutes of trying to cave the roof in, the man came back with one glass of water. He looked at me, then at the glass, then at the stairs. I went back to kicking the roof, so he hastily picked up a whiteboard and wrote "I am a gambler. After the bee incident only a select few of hardcore gamblers wanted to be part of this". Part of what?, I asked him. He explained that it is my bad luck that made me get into the middle of an extremely dangerous gameshow (although, he said with a laugh, no one wants to air it). While we were talking, it seemed that my roof-breaking efforts actually did something. Climbing (falling) through the new hole I had made, I joined my comrade, who said he would help me, because he had bet top dollar on me when he went to get the drink. I was still incredibly thirsty. I realized though that because of the glue incident, I couldn't actually drink anything. I better make it to a hospital quickly. The glass sheets around me as I am writing now are shuddering though, so I'm going to stop writ

[Bearstronaut]

Space Bear Log [0]

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--13:57--
...
--Station Out of Service--
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--All Personnel Stand By--
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--[LOW BATTERY]--
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--Shutting Down--
...
..
.

Now I am here. Most, if not all supplies were behind locked doors powered by the ship. I have little if any tools to access them. It happened earlier today, around noon, although time IS relative when you float through space at varying speeds, in a direction opposite that of the Earth's rotation. Nevertheless, it should be noted that Ursine Diplomacy has been quite... turbulent recently. We were expecting hostility. What happened around an hour ago was something completely different. I fear for anybody who will get caught up into this.

Now then, onto business. The station was able to slow down with what little mechanisms it had left. It was clear they did not want to destroy it completely. They wanted files and information. They searched for the wrong one. Ours was designed for simple communications. I exited the remains, after tending to my wounds. The surroundings are strange and new, but the feeling they give is too familiar. Wherever I was, I was trapped, right in the middle of their territory. Alone. My journey begins.

I have no idea what I'm doing... that is to say I'm probably doing it right. Possibly.