Sweet Jade and Hella John: "murder is still illegal, right??"

[Great Pikmin Fan]

Click here 4 IMPORTANT LINKS:

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(mirer|rerim) NOTE: I highly recommend reading the mirror if you're not caught up. It's a lot easier to understand in this way, especially during the character select screens. Plus, I personally think it makes for a slightly faster reading. Also, there won't be as many images on screen at once.
(TV Tropps)

SOME INFO ABOUT THIS SHIT:

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Sweet Jade and Hella John is a daily updating forum adventure that's about the titular two characters stopping evil, playing games, and generally screwing around. It's... supposed to be inspired by Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, but lately it it's not going in that direction. Suggestions are always open, so don't be afraid to ask!

It's also part of this pseudo-series of intentionally badly written fan fics primarly made for humor called SBIG, of which I scattered several stories about. This doesn't actually take place in the same multiverse as any of them (so far...), and in fact the only two things my "SBIGfics" have in common is that they're supposed to be shitty and they're written by me.

THIS IS AN AU! I'm saying this to avoid confusion. No, John and Jade are not on the yellow ship at the beginning and just in their regular clothes instead of their God-tier outfits -- they're on Earth, and the specific location will be revealed in a point in the story, and they're in Texas. Arlen, Texas. And speaking of Arlen...

WARNING: There is crossover. Of note, with Hellsing, but you don't need to know shit about that series to understand the plot (And yes there's a plot. But it's shitty.), and the crossover isn't really that frequent aside from one particular character.

Pairings? All I'll say about that is this: Good luck. And I mean that in more ways than one.

Sweet Jade and Hella John


ACT OINE


Sho Dialoglog:

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-- JOHN [JE] BEGAN TALKING TO jade [JH] --
JE: fuck, lets be... MARIO AND LUIGI!

END OF AC 1


MARIO INTERMISSION BEGIN.

WHAT DO?!?!

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I don't know if this needs to be said, but images of John and Jade (and, presumably, the other kids and trolls once they come around) shamlessly ripped from the templates over at the image manips thread. Mario, "Luigi," and Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures images taken from Google images. "Jon Eggbart's Hose" is the only original thing I drew, using MS Paint. Ain't I a stinker?

Quick mention/thanks goes to puppetfetishist for providing a cheat sheet on text colors.

NOTE: After some time (I'm transfering it page-by-page on weekends), all updates after the first will be a spoiler format, to avoid having too many images per page. If this annoys you, try reading the mirror.

ANOTHER NOTE FROM AFTER ENDING THIS INTERMISSION: Sorry, but I later on while writting I'll get carried away with this Mario Intermission. It's not really that much focused on humor (but there are some attempts at humor!) after Intermission Act One and it's too plot heavy for a genre like this. So I'll give you the option to skip the intermisison, and you can check it out if you really want to read about the backstory. Click here to skip to act 2.

[BenBen]

Ride a yellow spaceship in between windows.

[Naristar]

lets ride a Yoshie

[Great Pikmin Fan]

Since this is technically an intermission, I would like all the commands to have an "I" tag in brackets, but I don't know how to do that without making it an italics tag. Never mind.

The Update:

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[I] ME and LH: Ride a yellow spaceship in between windows.



Ok.

Show Dialogue:

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-- Mario Egbert [ME] is the talk to Luigi Harley [LH] --
ME: wow jade were was the ship forming from?
LH: i captchaloged it!!!
ME: damn woman!

[I] ==>


O NO! YOU SHAT WINDOW INTO HANK HOUSE!

>[I] =brok into=>


Show dialoglog:

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HH: Buwahaha! Damn kids on my lawn!

No suggestions for now, there's a second part of the update that I want to do tomorrow.

FUN FACT: I wanted to use the image on TV Tropes' KotH Dethroning Moment of Suck page (last time I checked, it's Hank screaming) for "=brok into=>", but a quick Google search of "Hank Hill freak out" got me the above image at best. The key word in that last sentence is "quick."

(Oh, and that "World 1" tag will become semi-important later on.)

[Vyro P. Dragon III]

Go kill Karkat/Bowser

[Great Pikmin Fan]

For maximum fun/challenge, I'll try to answer every suggestion given. Unless it won't apply anymore (for example, a Mario related suggestion after the Mario intermission is over. But don't worry; this intermission will last quite a bit).

The Update:

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[I] =browke into=>


No1 Hank Hi;ll haz ben adition to ENEMEY LOIST! BE WRANED IF YOU DON TAKE COSHON IT MIT COME BACK TO BIT YOU R ASS.

[I] =brak Intou=>


The shit is stil flying? I tho it carshed on cowch!

Wnaring that this talklog is a lttel longer then the uzual.

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ME: so wat is the this now wew aree in kichen?
LH: this is clos to opening to lvel select scren
LH: we ned to do this or GO THRU AL 8 WORLDS!!!!!
ME: wow were doz a girl lik yo get ithis info?
ME: and also wat tis the pont of thsi Mario/Luigi?
LH: i go info from a "holpful imformat"
LH: he sayieng that we must go thru 8 worlds
LH: and kil The Evil nd save the Pincess
LH: then we get, the Kisss!!!!!!!!
ME: just a kis?
LH: ye
ME: THAN WAT IS THE PONT?
LH: hay it cant be athingg rated Are!!!!
LH: we only 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: so then the pincess-
LH: no, it is the Pincess tock it in pink
ME: okay sheesh the Pincess.
ME: so that mens she is a tipe person cris hansome wowld cach on his show if u no what i men?
LH: no cuz the Pincess is relly dun dun dunn...
LH: 13 aslo in dis game seshon!!
ME: holly shit!

THE POT THICKENS

[I] =Brock Ombamto=>


HEE HEE HEE GET IT THE WRODS ARE SPELED LIKE OBANA!

[I] Go kill Karkat/Bowser


No ther no Browzer he dyes and it repraced by The Evil cuz this is lik Mrio RPGs and Bowzer is keeps replased. Karkat is in bu in Trol town we mit meet him and the other 11 latter.

[I] lets ride a Yoshie


O hay someon appierafyed a Yosh Egg.

BUT THERR 2KIDS1YOSHIE!! HOO RIDE IT? YO VOTE: mario egbart or lugi hardly

[Roselalonde]

Hardly anyone will vote for LH.

> maryo edberg,

[Morphimus]

> Mario: ride that yoshi!

[Vyro P. Dragon III]

Mario Egbart deserves it more. He's a badass.

[Naristar]

Jade/luigi should get a blue yoshi and mario the sucky green

[Vyro P. Dragon III]

>Identify WOOF HEAD in your ENEMY LIST. Just who is this mysterious guy?

[Mibbs]

twin yoshis

[Great Pikmin Fan]

The Update:

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[I] ME: Ride Yoshi.


YOU'RE WINNER IN POLL!

Show Talklogging

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ME: hay yoshi.
Y: PREPIIR!
ME: hay wat wrong u sond constipated or somethig.
Y: PREPIIR!
[AN Yoshis sond is from Super Mario World]

But wate isn't jade in lightgren but now Yoshi? Not anymro, cuz this is...

[I] ==>


[I] ==>

Jade on the otherhand is sad. She board and dis is wy:

U no drill

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LH: hay johm....
LH: i forgot.....
LH: THAT TRIP FORM PORTAL TO LVEL SELECT WARP ZONE CAN TAKE 3 OWERS!!!
LH: so yo can play w/ yoshi...
LH: BUT HO I ENTERTANE??????
ME: 3 OWERS? IT TAT EVEN POSSIMPLE?

[I] ==>

This is Jade's stylisdeck. (o and wilethis hapens the ship inters protal to warp zone lodeing scren.) iT IS hte most uzefull modis evar, but with on drawback: captaloging a thing makes it punsh in fase. So that wy it called, "Punsh in the Fase Modis" modus.

Jade has 4 cards! 1 empty cuz it had the ship. the otherest are her compuner, 7-up, and Boobs mazagine.

pik a thing to do or jade ded to deth from bordum!

[greenMachine]

To answer your question earlier involving [I], use [noparse][/noparse] around it.

is that Luigi...Homer? Yuck, i hate that show. So I say Malleo, not Jada Luigi.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

To answer your question earlier involving [I], use [noparse][/noparse] around it.

is that Luigi...Homer? Yuck, i hate that show. So I say Malleo, not Jada Luigi.

Thanks, I'll get to editting my previous posts as soon as I can.

Notice: I had made an update post, but it's currently under review from mods, so it might take a while for it to show here. Basically, the voting is over, but soon (like, in only two updates after the one under review) there will be another vote on which of eight worlds to land on.

Also, kind of a spoiler to the plot:

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I do not have any plans for Dave, Rose, or the alpha kids until after the Mario Intermission is over.

EDIT: Whoops nevermind I guess if your post is sent to be reviewed, it is posted on the time that you actually click to send the message, not when the mods approve it. So the struck out message is meaningless.

[mr_y_not]

> Cook the egg! Breakfast time, bitches!

[Vdogam3r]

>Make the ship ride the egg.

[Destruction Dragon 360]

LH: Red temh BOOBS

[OrangeAipom]

[BenBen]

To answer your question earlier involving [I], use [noparse][/noparse] around it.

Alternativley, I'm pretty sure you can just not add the closing tag.

[I] Link Strider: Enter.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

The Update:

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[I] ME: Identify WOOF HEAD in your ENEMY LIST. Just who is this mysterious guy?


You do NOT wanna TOCK abot it!

[I] LH: Cook the egg! Breakfast time, bitches!


Wil John is playing Yoshi you try to start egg fir to get food AND SUCKSEED.

[I] ME: Make the ship ride the egg.


But thebn John puts ship on Egg!

THE EGG FYRE HAD GOTS THE SHIP FYRE 2!

Marrow needs to put out the fyre!

Hury qick!

[I] LH: Red temh BOOBS



hot.

[I] ==>


Thias is Johns indew.

He also has 4 cars! A laxitive (pil), hs PDA (with onternet), the BOST GAME EVAR, and buket of water.

Thanks, but I'll keep that old image for the previous update (for archive purposes), and use this in another.

[P_equals_NP]

use the pda to start reading your favourite comic of all time Buffet Breakfast
http://mspaforums.com/showthread.php...dtranslator%29

[Newlemming]

> Play the BOST GAME EVAR

[Great Pikmin Fan]

Okay, I'm trying to do the "I" tag without the noparse, and without the ending tag. Not relevant anymore.

The Update:

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[I] ME: Play the BOST GAME EVAR


THIS IS FIFO MODIS YO CAN ONLY USE THE FRIST BOX.

[I] ==>


You take the laxx. Yoshy is ther two.,

Talk:

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ME: hay yoshie.
Y: PREPIIR!

[I] ==>


YSHOOIE ATE IT!!

[I] ==>


[I] ==>


[I] ==>


The shirt put out sum fire. BUT NOT ALL!

Talk:

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ME: hay yoshie wat do?
Y: waffels!
ME: yoshie... yo sond different.
ME: did you acshally have constipashon, and laxitive hepl?
Y: waffels!

Also betterer you thik you se the warm zone comming! 3 owers passes by quick if you play with ayoshi or are seeing naked wimon!

For future refference, the modii are supposed to be viewed only from left to right. Their vertical positions aren't relevant. So John's sylladex goes in the order that the caption said: laxitive, PDA, Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures, and the bucket of water. Jade's is the same deal, but since she can pull any card out, it doesn't matter.

This update is likley to be the last one before the world select. It's about time, too: I'm starting to get bored of fooling around on the ship.

Also, if you don't see your suggestion in the update, it doesn't mean I won't use it. I'm still thinking of how to do the twin yoshis suggestion.

[Edrobot]

>Meanwhile in TROL TOWN; Karkat nad Anger Crabman r playing DOOL MONSTAS with ORPHEGIUS THEG GREAT for the EGYEP:TAIN GOD CARD.

>Orpgereius: Screw the rules you have $M$O$N$E$Y$!

>KARKAT: Be the only sane guy in this story.