Sweet Jade and Hella John: The wall writtings finally have a purpose!
Click here 4 IMPORTANT LINKS:
(mirer|rerim) NOTE: I highly recommend reading the mirror if you're not caught up. It's a lot easier to understand in this way, especially during the character select screens. Plus, I personally think it makes for a slightly faster reading. Also, there won't be as many images on screen at once. (TV Tropps)
SOME INFO ABOUT THIS SHIT:
Sweet Jade and Hella John is a daily updating forum adventure that's about the titular two characters stopping evil, playing games, and generally screwing around. It's... supposed to be inspired by Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, but lately it it's not going in that direction. Suggestions are always open, so don't be afraid to ask!
It's also part of this pseudo-series of intentionally badly written fan fics primarly made for humor called SBIG, of which I scattered several stories about. This doesn't actually take place in the same multiverse as any of them (so far...), and in fact the only two things my "SBIGfics" have in common is that they're supposed to be shitty and they're written by me.
THIS IS AN AU! I'm saying this to avoid confusion. No, John and Jade are not on the yellow ship at the beginning and just in their regular clothes instead of their God-tier outfits -- they're on Earth, and the specific location will be revealed in a point in the story, and they're in Texas. Arlen, Texas. And speaking of Arlen...
WARNING: There is crossover. Of note, with Hellsing, but you don't need to know shit about that series to understand the plot (And yes there's a plot. But it's shitty.), and the crossover isn't really that frequent aside from one particular character.
Pairings? All I'll say about that is this: Good luck. And I mean that in more ways than one.
Sweet Jade and Hella John
-- JOHN [JE] BEGAN TALKING TO jade [JH] --
JE: fuck, lets be... MARIO AND LUIGI!
END OF AC 1
MARIO INTERMISSION BEGIN.
I don't know if this needs to be said, but images of John and Jade (and, presumably, the other kids and trolls once they come around) shamlessly ripped from the templates over at the image manips thread. Mario, "Luigi," and Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures images taken from Google images. "Jon Eggbart's Hose" is the only original thing I drew, using MS Paint. Ain't I a stinker?
Quick mention/thanks goes to puppetfetishist for providing a cheat sheet on text colors.
NOTE: After some time (I'm transfering it page-by-page on weekends), all updates after the first will be a spoiler format, to avoid having too many images per page. If this annoys you, try reading the mirror.
ANOTHER NOTE FROM AFTER ENDING THIS INTERMISSION: Sorry, but I later on while writting I'll get carried away with this Mario Intermission. It's not really that much focused on humor (but there are some attempts at humor!) after Intermission Act One and it's too plot heavy for a genre like this. So I'll give you the option to skip the intermisison, and you can check it out if you really want to read about the backstory. Click here to skip to act 2.
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 05-23-2013 at 11:52 PM.
Reason: Daily title change.
Since this is technically an intermission, I would like all the commands to have an "I" tag in brackets, but I don't know how to do that without making it an italics tag. Never mind.
[I] ME and LH: Ride a yellow spaceship in between windows.
-- Mario Egbert [ME] is the talk to Luigi Harley [LH] --
ME: wow jade were was the ship forming from?
LH: i captchaloged it!!!
ME: damn woman!
O NO! YOU SHAT WINDOW INTO HANK HOUSE!
>[I] =brok into=>
HH: Buwahaha! Damn kids on my lawn!
No suggestions for now, there's a second part of the update that I want to do tomorrow.
FUN FACT: I wanted to use the image on TV Tropes' KotH Dethroning Moment of Suck page (last time I checked, it's Hank screaming) for "=brok into=>", but a quick Google search of "Hank Hill freak out" got me the above image at best. The key word in that last sentence is "quick."
(Oh, and that "World 1" tag will become semi-important later on.)
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 01-13-2013 at 12:53 AM.
Reason: Changing this post so that it's reformatted like the recent pages. I'll be doing this with the other updates too.
For maximum fun/challenge, I'll try to answer every suggestion given. Unless it won't apply anymore (for example, a Mario related suggestion after the Mario intermission is over. But don't worry; this intermission will last quite a bit).
[I] =browke into=>
No1 Hank Hi;ll haz ben adition to ENEMEY LOIST! BE WRANED IF YOU DON TAKE COSHON IT MIT COME BACK TO BIT YOU R ASS.
[I] =brak Intou=>
The shit is stil flying? I tho it carshed on cowch!
Wnaring that this talklog is a lttel longer then the uzual.
ME: so wat is the this now wew aree in kichen?
LH: this is clos to opening to lvel select scren
LH: we ned to do this or GO THRU AL 8 WORLDS!!!!!
ME: wow were doz a girl lik yo get ithis info?
ME: and also wat tis the pont of thsi Mario/Luigi?
LH: i go info from a "holpful imformat"
LH: he sayieng that we must go thru 8 worlds
LH: and kil The Evil nd save the Pincess
LH: then we get, the Kisss!!!!!!!!
ME: just a kis?
ME: THAN WAT IS THE PONT?
LH: hay it cant be athingg rated Are!!!!
LH: we only 13!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ME: so then the pincess-
LH: no, it is the Pincess tock it in pink
ME: okay sheesh the Pincess.
ME: so that mens she is a tipe person cris hansome wowld cach on his show if u no what i men?
LH: no cuz the Pincess is relly dun dun dunn...
LH: 13 aslo in dis game seshon!!
ME: holly shit!
THE POT THICKENS
[I] =Brock Ombamto=>
HEE HEE HEE GET IT THE WRODS ARE SPELED LIKE OBANA!
[I] Go kill Karkat/Bowser
No ther no Browzer he dyes and it repraced by The Evil cuz this is lik Mrio RPGs and Bowzer is keeps replased. Karkat is in bu in Trol town we mit meet him and the other 11 latter.
[I] lets ride a Yoshie
O hay someon appierafyed a Yosh Egg.
BUT THERR 2KIDS1YOSHIE!! HOO RIDE IT? YO VOTE: mario egbart or lugi hardly
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 03-14-2013 at 12:41 AM.
My Pesterchum handle is sulfurateSynteresis. I am on Pesterchum a lot of the time.
Originally Posted by Mass Effect 2
Doing a good deed is like pissing yourself in dark pants; it gives you a warm feeling, but no one seems to notice.
Originally Posted by Moldova in Eurovision 2011
fuck books and clothes
all of my money goes towards food
but in a hedonistic sense, not a survival sense.
Originally Posted by Kíeros
Originally Posted by John E
I like limestone,just dont take it for granite!
That wasn't a gneiss pun. It was just schist.
Okay, that wasn't dissing you; it was just talc.
Originally Posted by Staff Deployment
Clearly it wasn't real
Clearly YOU'RE not real
Go away not-real person and stop being not real
(don't actually go away Morphimus; i love you Morphimus please have my children, Morphimus you are the only light in my otherwise dismal existence)
Originally Posted by Qeztotz
you know morphimus
you are a genius
Originally Posted by thetoastking
Oh. A gifted from your army's gotten in again. No doubt he abused his psychic abilities to get past your guards in order to play a practical joke on you.
You shoot Psy-Soldier Morphimus in the head without batting an eye. You don't like killing your soldiers, but the man has no self-control. His pranks simply went too far at times, and that's that.
Originally Posted by Phantos
...Morphimus, I don't know what to say. It's hard to see the keyboard when I am crying from joy.
MSPA style self description:
Your name is MORPHIMUS. As was previously mentioned it is your BIRTHDAY. You have quite a variety of INTERESTS. You have a fondness for ROLEPLAYING GAMES OF A TABLETOP PERSUASION. You like to program computers but you DON'T REALLY KNOW HOW TO PROGRAM. You like to use your IMAGINATION particularly involving MEDIEVAL FANTASY. You have been meaning to use the KEYBOARD your guardian gifted to you to create some music, but you HAVEN'T REALLY GOTTEN AROUND TO IT. You like to play GAMES with friends all the time.
You like to converse with your pals, most of which don't use Pesterchum, speaking of Pesterchum, you have been trying out a new chat client beta called PESTERCHUM. Your chumhandle is sulfurateSynteresis and you Type in a manner that is usually proper, but you some times misspell words and misuse commas and semicolons here and there.
What will you do?
ME: hay yoshi.
ME: hay wat wrong u sond constipated or somethig.
[AN Yoshis sond is from Super Mario World]
But wate isn't jade in lightgren but now Yoshi? Not anymro, cuz this is...
Jade on the otherhand is sad. She board and dis is wy:
U no drill
LH: hay johm....
LH: i forgot.....
LH: THAT TRIP FORM PORTAL TO LVEL SELECT WARP ZONE CAN TAKE 3 OWERS!!!
LH: so yo can play w/ yoshi...
LH: BUT HO I ENTERTANE??????
ME: 3 OWERS? IT TAT EVEN POSSIMPLE?
This is Jade's stylisdeck. (o and wilethis hapens the ship inters protal to warp zone lodeing scren.) iT IS hte most uzefull modis evar, but with on drawback: captaloging a thing makes it punsh in fase. So that wy it called, "Punsh in the Fase Modis" modus.
Jade has 4 cards! 1 empty cuz it had the ship. the otherest are her compuner, 7-up, and Boobs mazagine.
pik a thing to do or jade ded to deth from bordum!
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 08-18-2012 at 10:52 AM.
Reason: Last post where I need to add the "I" tags.
Below is a list of stuff I've been reading/watching off and on in my spare time. I recommend pretty much anything on this list, as long as you're interested in Let's Plays/Fancomics (I would assume an interest in Forum Adventures, if you're reading this :P). Currently Processing YouTube
SlimKirby's Let's Play Super Bomberman 3
Odinspack33's Let's Play Donkey Kong Country Returns Webcomics
Square Root Of Minus Garfield [haven't checked in a while, though]
The After Subtract [A concluded sprite comic with relatively normal Mario and Luigi; a talkative, split-personality Link (Navi included); a talkative, homicidal (when it comes to food) Kirby; a Waddle Chu; and relatively normal Sonic and Tails. It starts a bit slow but after that it stays consistently funny.] Forum Adventures
Too many to really list! Here's a brief few I can think of off the top of my head...
It's A Political Box
a Pidgey Named Fish
You Have To Explode The Sun
Corn Maze 2
NO TIME TO EXPLAIN
Paper Mario and the Everclear Night [I'll catch up eventually...]
You Have To Push A Button Recently Processed (starting with most recent)
SlimKirby's Let's Play TLoZ: Majora's Mask
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: The Minish Cap
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: Oracle of Ages
Odinspack33's Let's Play TLoZ: Oracle of Seasons
To answer your question earlier involving [I], use [noparse][/noparse] around it.
is that Luigi...Homer? Yuck, i hate that show. So I say Malleo, not Jada Luigi.
Thanks, I'll get to editting my previous posts as soon as I can.
Notice: I had made an update post, but it's currently under review from mods, so it might take a while for it to show here. Basically, the voting is over, but soon (like, in only two updates after the one under review) there will be another vote on which of eight worlds to land on.
Also, kind of a spoiler to the plot:
I do not have any plans for Dave, Rose, or the alpha kids until after the Mario Intermission is over.
EDIT: Whoops nevermind I guess if your post is sent to be reviewed, it is posted on the time that you actually click to send the message, not when the mods approve it. So the struck out message is meaningless.
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 01-27-2012 at 10:26 PM.
Okay, I'm trying to do the "I" tag without the noparse, and without the ending tag. Not relevant anymore.
[I] ME: Play the BOST GAME EVAR
THIS IS FIFO MODIS YO CAN ONLY USE THE FRIST BOX.
You take the laxx. Yoshy is ther two.,
ME: hay yoshie.
YSHOOIE ATE IT!!
The shirt put out sum fire. BUT NOT ALL!
ME: hay yoshie wat do?
ME: yoshie... yo sond different.
ME: did you acshally have constipashon, and laxitive hepl?
Also betterer you thik you se the warm zone comming! 3 owers passes by quick if you play with ayoshi or are seeing naked wimon!
For future refference, the modii are supposed to be viewed only from left to right. Their vertical positions aren't relevant. So John's sylladex goes in the order that the caption said: laxitive, PDA, Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures, and the bucket of water. Jade's is the same deal, but since she can pull any card out, it doesn't matter.
This update is likley to be the last one before the world select. It's about time, too: I'm starting to get bored of fooling around on the ship.
Also, if you don't see your suggestion in the update, it doesn't mean I won't use it. I'm still thinking of how to do the twin yoshis suggestion.
Last edited by Great Pikmin Fan; 08-18-2012 at 11:14 AM.