Sweet Jade and Hella John: 15 troll deaths in one Godzilla blast!

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [I] TN: COMMUNE IWTH THE CRITEREURES TO GET SOMEA KIND A OLEIFT.


You wonder around this beechy planet and find its BOSS BATTEL: a BIGGASS FISH.

(btw this is the ENTRINSE to 3-4, but its stil tecnically 3-3. 3-4 is that weerd tower thingy in bakground the th boss sometimes pops up if you trye to enter from the bosses entrinse in the back (back dioor))

> [I] =============>


You mid controlit.

Yes. Hell yes. Hell. Fucking. Yes.

(You still not sure if it enough to get you the hll outta here, thou. Especialy becuz this thing can't fly. Or WALK, for that manner)

> [I] A FEW OWERS AGO...


Let's introduse this fucker, who is stil tgrailing the Yellow Ship becuz as said before this part taks place in past.

> [I] Enteer name.


Your nam is ELITAA SINOIS.

You like TV stuff. Lots of cortoons and movys. You also lik games, animals, harlquins, and being a equal rights aktivist. You often spend the times in nature and shit, and you try to pull prnks but ARE NOT THAT GOOD AT IT.

You have CHARTHRUSE BLOOD (slash lime blood but limes this color so just call this to avoid confushous), which meens you are the HIGEST OF THE LOWEBLOODS. You not shure if this a good thing or a badthing. Good, cuz bein a lowbloods nets you SYKICK PPOWERS (in this case, you have a weerd mutastion that gives you control of FYRE) or bad, cuz most peepols will treet you like shit once you become adult and enter the deep parts of TROLL SOC.

You are currently (altho not in the later time since youve alreddy been there, but now as of this naration since it takes place a littel in the pase) trailing Karkat who is in some stupid yelow ship cuz you want to DIPLOMATICLY debate about wether or not Troll Town shuld have someone to represent limebloods or to have one to represint mutants. Your shure your Good Twin looks forward to your actions, and your ancester, the Activist, would be proud of you. You found a ball of rock around Troll Town and are now using FIRE POWERS (thats that orange shit in the background) to fly youself over. your trolltag is chartreuseGenes and you Like things neatly structured with a cleer definined begining nd enD

What do?

AN:

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ARGH I hate Lurker Sharks. I was young when I first learned about them the hard way. Those fucking things made me feel uncomfterable swimming in deep, open areas in video games for a long time. I even felt uncomfterable playing Super Mario Sunshine when I first got it.

Also fixed Elitaa's shirt problem. By litterally copy-pasting a portion from Karkat's sprite.

By the way, in case anyone hasn't noticed, the commands are directly on top of their respective image. I haven't gone through and replaced the ">" with size four text (like I did with Onionstuck) because that honestly sounds like a pain in the ass. Pay attention to the commands/page titles, since they will indicate what the character is trying to do. Or, in the case of the third panel on this update, when something takes place.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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Forgot to mention last update that "Elitaa Sinois" is a corruption of "Editaa Simmons," a random name I thought up at one point. I guess this is going to be sort of relevant for later?

> [I] =============>


Wile we wait for peepols to give comands to you, you jump off to the ship cuz your meteror is geetting close enough. This is good, cuz you can do more things in a area with lots more items and people.

Also thes 2 MISTERIOUS guys are pestering you.

Show 2xPester

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-- WHIE TEXT GUY [] began pestering chartheruseGenies [CG] at 10:01 pm. --
Sup.
CG: Who are yoU
All you need to no is that I am a part of the group called the Millennium.
And speeking of them, theres a LKOT of them in that ship over ther.
So, yeah.
Dont bother them.
Just focis on the trolls.
Karkat, your kismises, has bloked off the bottom floor of the ship until they are done fighting with the Fox Crew.
CG: How you know all thiS
I OMNISCENT.
I CAN SEE SHIT IN THE PRESINT AND PAST.
CG: What about futurE
D:
Look, are you familar with Coolstuck, that kickass comik by one Dave Strider?
CG: YeaH
CG: That thing with the mermaids and the polt about the world endinG
You no about the doomed timelines and carp?
CG: YeaH
CG: Basiclly weerd quantom shit about many worldS
CG: Where ther is a new unverse for each possibilitY
CG: Exsept in this casE There arent that many possiblitieS
CG: All thats not th "alpha" are domeD
Yea well in this universe, thats not how things work.
Have you herd of "Next," staring Nick Cage?
CG: Oh hell yeS
CG: I lov everything cagY
Well it works kinda like theat.
Theres MULTIPEL futures, starting from a point.
But onse I say something and it isn't done, the futre changes.
I can se all kinds of "futures," but I don know whish ones the "reel" future.
CG: Yeah oK
CG: I was just planning on hanging out with my peepS
CG: And espeshally my black crusH
-- CG ends the convo --

-- undiarreahUndrig [uu] started to jeer charshurseGenese [CG] at 10:10 pm --
uu: HAY.
uu: STOP TRYIN TO REPLASE uS.
CG: US
uu: ME AND OTHER uu.
uu: tUMUt
uu: TO DO SO, AND I'LL GRIND YuR FASE AGANST WALL.
CG: Im not trying to replase yoU
CG: Im trying to replace karkaT
CG: In a sencE
uu: o ok then.
-- uu stoped with the CGing --

> [I] =============>


You are first greeted by non other then your kismises. Sadly for you, you only have the spads quatrent filled.

The Talking now:

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KV: AW HELL FUCKING NO.
ES: Im not hapy to see you eetheR
ES: I meeN Your way too fucking shoutY
TP: WO4H WO4H WO4H
TP: L3TS TRY TO WORK SOM3TH1NG OUT H3R3
KV: WE DON'T NEED A AUSPISTISE, TEREZI.
ES: But you do need a layweR
KV: TELLING TEREZI THE EXACT ISHUE BEHIND US WULD INVOLVE REVEELING MY BLOOD COLOR TO HER.
TP: SO 1 GU3SS YOUR BLOOD COLOR 1SNT L1M3 TH3N
TP: CUZ 1F 1T W4S, W3 WULDNT B3 H4V1NG TH1S CONVO
KV: WELL GOOD FUCKING JOB.
KV: YOU RULED OUT ONE OF 12 POSSIBEL BLOOD COLORZ FOR ME TO BE.
KV: NOW GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE BEFORE YOU RULE OUT MOR.
KV: I'LL HANDEL THIS LITTTLE DERP MYSELF.
ES: *CougH CougH You have more then 12 to rool ouT*
KV: I HERD THAT!

You dont reely feel like debating right now, tho. You might as well hang out arond this ship. See who else of Karkats frends ar on here.

AN:

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Short update today because I spent most of the day at the dentist (and at school). Even though it turns out that my appointment was delayed due to shenanigans. And because this part is command heavy, but I haven't gotten any commands.

That thing above Karkat is supposed to be a spade. (Although it actually sorta resembles a mushroom, like the hammer in John's strife deck. Man, it seems that I can't draw a mushroom unless I'm not trying to.) Let's just say that human or troll, he has a hate-thing for derps.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN

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Sweet TROLLS and Hella MORE TROLLS is almost over. But it likley won't end until after I get a few more commands. I want STAHMT to actually focus around commanding some trolls around, instead of being "SJAHJ but more focused on the 12 trolls and an OC and with thirteen equal signs for the arrows instead of two."

> [I] =============>


You STILLL do stuff on your own wile we wait for comands.

This time, you desice to ignor the debate for now and just check out whos here.

The red and the ingigo are arging about something.

Show Trolltalk:

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AM: gamsee its time you eet your supor slime
GM: why?
GM: CAN'T I JU GET A FUCKING BREK FOR NOW?
GM: i'm not slim hungy right now.
GM: IT'S NOT LIKE WELL ALL DIE!
GM: ok?
AM: feferi said you have to eet this every so offen
AM: or else youll turn out like your good wtwin
AM: and start practising subjugulation eerly
GM: I THINK I CAN DEEL WITH NOT CHANGING INTO MY BRO.
GM: he's motherfucking crazy.
GM: BUT I'M FINE SIS.
GM: trust me.
GM: IM THE CHILEST MOTHERFUCKER EVER!
AM: you wispering and talking
AM: feferi and katkar said thats a BAD SINE
AM: so pleese eet
AM: or you might, you know,
AM: KILL ME!
GM: ok.
GM: I'LL EET THE PIE.

Wile your glad that Troll Town has a ingido blood represint, you find this guy Gamzee kinda creepy. In fact, hes one of the reesons why you don't hang out with most of these guys alot of the time. You hope that whatever Adradia is doing is good.

> [I] =============>


Equis is talking some shit with Nepeta over trollan. Or at leest hes attempt to.

Show Pesterlog:

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-- centarsTesticles [CT] begins trolling arsinicCatnip [AC] at 10:30 pm --
CT: D --> nepeta
CT: D --> nepeta wher are you
CT: D --> nepeta
CT: D --> im just cheking
CT: D --> its not like i tots need my morail right now
CT: D --> or swetting my ass off in here
CT: D --> just stuk in this ship
CT: D --> but its not that bad cuz bvriska isnt here tho
CT: D --> WAIT
CT: D --> vriksa isnt with you now is she
CT: D --> WAIT AGAN
CT: D --> you didnt say taht you and her were go sports right
CT: D --> aw fuckety fuck
CT: D --> your not ded r you
CT: D --> fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
CT: D --> i NEED sum TOWWLES right now

Wile you cant see what he's typoing, he seems like hes getting pretty ajitaed. You dont want to bother him.

(What he, or you for that madder, dont know is that nep is reely just asleep)

> [I] =============>


As for the rest of the 4, Terzi's trying to cinvince Karkat to reveel to her his blood color. Also meanwhile, Eridan is trying to fght her. And FEF IS NOT PLEESED.

Show Talks

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EA: hey ter
EA: wwe need to talk about you dattin fef
TP: WHY
TP: OH 1 H3RD 4BOUT TH1S FROM HUM3N CULTUR3
TP: YOUR M4D CUZ 1M 4 G1RL 4ND F3F3R1 1S 4 G1RL
EA: wwater you high?
EA: its cuz feferis royyalty
EA: and your... wwell...
EA: just below
EA: also evn if you havve a higher color it dozent matter unles that color is purple lik me or pink-purple like fef
EA: you no seedwweller
EA: SEA DWWELLERS BE PIMPIN
ES: Thats rasisT
EA: stay outta this el!
KV: HAY!
KV: I MAY HATE HER, BUT ATLEEST SHE HAS A POINT!
KV: NOW BACK AWWAY FROM TEREZI WILE WE HAVE ARE PIRATE CONSERVATION!
KV: MAN, WITH ALL THIS RASISTS IN HERE I'M ALMOST GLAD THAT YOUR HERE ELITAA.
KV: ALMOST.
TP: 4LR1GHT 1 TH1NK 1 C4N SP33D TH1S UP
TP: WH4T 1F 1 S14D TH4T 1 C43N SM3LL YOUR BLOD COLOR THRU YOUR SK1N?
TP: 4ND THR3T TO T3LL 3V3RYON3 1F YOU DONT 1NV1T3 M3 1N TH3 D3B4T3?
KV: I WULD SAY THAT THAT IS BULLSHIT.
KV: MOO... THAT'S THE COW MACKING THAT BULLSHIT.
ES: He he thats funnY
ES: But sersly terezI I also know of his blood coloR
ES: I can just tell them all myeselF
ES: If karkat wouldnt kill me for iT
ES: But for yoU TerezI Its diffrenT
ES: Becuz yOUR His flush fill i thinK
KV: WE WERE.
KV: BUT WE BROKE UP HALF A SWEAP AGO.
KV: AND NOW...
EA: wwe havve a see dwweeller datting a land dwweller
KV: ARGH.
KV: DOZE EVERY HIGHBLOOD A RACIST?
TP: K4RK4T TH4T ST4T3M3NT 1S 4 L1TTL3 R4C1ST 1TS3LF
TP: 3SP3SH1LLY S1NC3 YOUR BLOOD 1S-
KV: OH NO. DON'T SAY IT IN FRONT OF THAT FISHY ASSHOOLE.
KV: ANYON BUT THAT SEA DWELLING BITCH.
FP: D8<
KV: I WAS TALKING ABOUT ERIDIN AS THE FISHY A-HOLE, NOT YOU.
FP: Well still, t)(at was R---EALLY RUDE.
FP: Apolgilize.
EA: so now your defendin me fef?
FP: Yea)( we never stoped being morails right?
FP: Well-
EA: wwell your semi neww dating wwith the landwweller is making me reconsister
TP: DUF3 F3F3R1 1 ST1LL C4NT B3L33V3 YOU TWO R MOR41LS
TP: 1 M33N H3 H4T3S M3
FP: I was JUTS about to get to t)(at...
FP: -Eridin, we cannot no longer be PAL--EMAT------ES!
EA: wwhat about frends
FP: Oh yea)( none of t)(at eether.
FP: Yunno the )(emospectrim t)(ig is kinda stupid.
ES: NO You seE My equaty thinG-
FP: Well thats just retarded.
FP: But for a diffent reeson.
FP: )(emospectrim is rasist, your aint you equality t)(ing so anti-rasist it becomes...
FP: Rasist agan?
ES: Do you understant my sitwation herE
EA: acally none of us do
EA: cuz it invvolvves karakts blood color and hes so fuckin secritivve about it
ES: O yeah about thaT
ES: Im shoure karkat wuld want to go sumeplace away from the seedwellers for thiS
ES: But if karkat wants tereiz as a laweyeR We can stay here wile you discuss this romanse problemS
TP: TH3R3S NO N33D
TP: F3F3R1 4ND 3R1D4N BR34KS UP
TP: TH4TS 1T
TP: TH1S CONVO 1S OV3R
EA: bitch you be askin for a dool
TP: W3LL PR4CT1S3 FOR A W1L3
TP: CUZ 1M GONN4 DO SOM3 LAWY3R1NG
KV: WAIT.
KV: I NEVER SAID YOU CULD HELP ME.
KV: REMEMBR? ANOMINIS-NESS?
TP: 1 DONT KNOW
TP: TH1S SOUNDS 1NTR3ST1NG
TP: PLUS 1M K4RK4TS CLOS3 FR3ND
ES: And yet hes not have a flush quatrent fILL
ES: Thot sO
KV: YOU DON'T HAVE ONE EETHER.
TP: GUYS GUYS TH1S 1S OK
TP: 1 C4N JUST SHOWT YOUR BLOOD COLOR TO 3V3RYON3 ON H3R3 W1L3 YOU TOO T4LK
TP: >:]
KV: SON OF A BITCH.
KV: AND PEOPLES WONDER WHY WE BROKE UP.
EA: wwait speakin of brekups
EA: terezi i want to dool you
FP: AGAN wit)( t)(e dooling i meen come ON -Eridan!
KV: YOU KNOW WHAT?
KV: FINE, TEREZI, BE MY LAYWER.
KV: YOUVE BEN BUGGING ME ABOUT WAY BEFORE WE EVEN GOT ON THIS STUPID SHIP.

> [I] =============>


Oh yeah, and Kanaya's asleap.

You cant find Vriska, Tavros, Solux, or Nepeta oin here. What you dont now is that these arent here. Or in Vriskas case, not here yet.

Haha WOW that talk was long. BUT THERES MORE!

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TP: >:]
KV: DON'T FALTER YOURSELFE.
KV: IF YOU FIAL I WILL TELL EVERYON ABOUT THAT ONCE INSIDENT.
KV: YOU KNOW. THE REESON WHY VRISKA BLINDED YOU.
KV: ANYON WHO DOESNT BELLEEVE IN THAT HEMOSPECTRIM MOJO JOJO WILL HATE YOU.
KV: O AND SPEEKING OF THAT...
KV: FEFERI, I JUST WANNA LET YOU KNOW THAT I MGHT LET YOU HEER ABOUT MY BLOOD COLOR.
KV: IF YOUR ANCESTER WASN'T THE FUCKING EMPRESS.
FP: T)(anks...?
FP: But )(IC )(as no power in the USA!
FP: But isn't t)(at also a rasist?
ES: Ok you can keep talking about rasisM
ES: Ill just leeve noW
KV: WAIT. WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING HERE IN THE FIRST PLASE?
ES: I just wanted to see where everyon was before we got starteD
ES: Mabey hang out for a litteL
KV: UN UH.
KV: I FORBIDID YOU FROM HANGING OUT WITH ANY OF THEZE GUYS.
ES: HMMM
ES: TerezI Can he do thaT
TP: NOP3
TP: 1N F4CT SH3S FR3NDS W1TH M3 G4MZ33 4R4D14 N3P3T4 K4N4Y4 AND F3F3R1
TP: TH4TS H4LF OF US 1N TH1S L1TT3L GROUP
TP: HOW M4NY OF TH3M 4R3 YOUR FR3NDS????
KV: SOLLUX, KANAYA, YOU, GAMZEE.
KV: FUCK. THAT'S ONLY 3/4THS OF HER FREND GROUP.
TP: >:]
TP: > :]
TP: >:]
TP: > :]
KV: WAIT WAIT WAIT...
KV: NEPETA TOO?
ES: O pleesE
ES: If nepeta died right noW You wuldnt even carE
ES: You might even forgive whoever killed heR
ES: You said you think shes a anoying autistic cavegirL
KV: WELL ACTUALLY I HAVE A CRUSH ON HER.
TP: 4ND?
KV: OIT'S OVER NOW THAT I FOUND SHE'S DATING A HUMAN.
KV: WAIT, TEREZI.
KV: WHOS' SIDE R YOU ON???
TP: 1LL FL1P WH3N 3V3R 1 W4NT TO!!!
TP: 4S LONG 4S W3 G3T SOMWH3R3
TP: YOU TWO B4RL3Y G3T 4NYWH3R3 WH3N YOU JUST ARGU3
KV: BARGHARBLE.
ES: But waiT Again i just want to wait here for a biT
KV: SO WAIT.
KV: YOU SPENT SOME TIME TRYING TO FOLOW US, ONLY TO WANT TO NOT ACTUALY DO ANYTHING FOR SOME TIME?
KV: WHAT THE HELL.
ES: I need to reorganize my thots a litteL
ES: SincE You knoW Terezis joining uS
KV: GOD YOUR JUST HATEFLIRTING WITH ME, AREN'T YOU.
KV: WELL WHY THE HELL NOT. IT'S NOT LIKE ANYBODY WILL EVER PITY OR LOVE YOU.
EA: hay if your not doin this debate thing can wwe deul ter?
TP: 4RGH
TP: F1N3
TP: 1LL DO TH1S STUP1D DUEL TH1NG W1TH YOU
KV: WAIT WAIT WAIT.
KV: I JUST WANTA ESTABLIUSH ONE THING.
KV: THIS WILL NOT BE A DUEL TO THE DEATH.
KV: I WANT NO DEATHS IN THIS SHIP, OK?
KV: ESXCEPT THOSE FOX CREEW GUYS AND THE GUYS IN THE HATS.
KV: THEY CAN ALL DIE FOR ALL I CARE.
KV: HELL, I CAN SMELL THER DEAD BODYS STINKIN UP THE PLASE.
KV: WY DOESN'T ANYBODY THROW THEM OUT?
FP: Cuz of 1-up transfers.
KV: O RIGHT.
KV: THAT STUPID BACK TO LIFE SHIT.
KV: SO NOW IT'S ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE TO DIE.

Well, what do while waiting for a bit?

AN:

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When Elitaa capitalizes the last three letters of a sentence instead of the last one, it's supposed to represent an ellipse.

Also, when she's shouting she uses the same quirk, but in inverse capitalization. lIKE THIs

Elitaa is supposed to be reffrencing Gamzee's background "HoNk" in that one panel. I'll try to find it when I can.

Am I reffrensing canon too much in this? I want to know because this can be kind of a pet peeve of mine sometimes in fan works.

Finally, I sweat that having a sober Gamzee related update on 4/20 was unintentional.

[PersonPerson]

Everybody: Get killed by a giant flying tortilla.

[Mibbs]

follow a logical train of thought from start to finish without horrendous typos at least once

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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follow a logical train of thought from start to finish without horrendous typos at least once

I'll try that next update. I didn't do that this update because I started writting this before I read this post.

And I know that SBAHJ doesn't have that many typoes. I've been considering the idea that everyone (except already "sane" characters such as Dave or Rip) would speak in very, very occasional "typoes" (basically either only legitimate mispellings I make or instances where the typo would be funny) and act as close to their canon self as I can get them, while John and Jade are slang-speaking hipsters who will speak with the most frequent ammount of mispellings. Then again, I also wanted Rose to have a bit of what John and Jade are doing because of her plot with Roxy. And yes, I have decided about Rose and Roxy right now. I have for some time.

> [I] All: Get killed by a giant flying tortilla.


Um... theres a flying FUCK YOU MOBILE carying a bigass toltia... is that what you want?

Talk over Ships itercom:

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AM: attenshon everybody
AM: that includes the fox crew and milenium too
AM: ther is a flying limo hedding are way

> [I] =============>


WTF i thot most of these guys r dead.

Aradia and Gamee finish ther slime debate and hed to the top to great ther visitors.

Show Mileniumlog:

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JV: HAY!!
JV: anyon seen hank hill??
KV: THT ASSHOLE IN THE WITE SHIRT AND THE BLUE PANTS?
KV: HES AT THE BOTTOM.
KV: SO I GUES THAT YOUR HERE TO FIGHT HIM TO, RIGHT?
JV: thats right.
JV: our cueball bro holped me out a littel.
JV: THE FUCKER KNOWS EVERYTHING!!
JV: he says that those down ther need sum BACKUP.
JV: AND WE'LL PROVIDE THAT BACKUP RIGHT HERE!!
KV: LOOK, YOU KINDA CREAP ME OUT.
KV: JUST STAY AWAY FROM ME, OK?
KV: HELL, STAY AWAY FROM ALL OF US.

> [I] Meenwile...


Erida is try to duel Terezi.

Nexttalk

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EA: ok ter
EA: draww your wepon
TP: 1F 1T W1LL SHUT YOU UP
TP: 4FT3R 1 PWN YOU
TP: TH3N T4K3 1 LOOK 4T TH1S!!!!

> [I] =============>


Next

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EA: a cain
EA: seriosly
EA: i got a gun
TP: 4ND 1 H4V3 TH3 LL4W ON MY S1D3
EA: the fuck
TP: 1F YOU CH4L3NG3 M3 1 C4N CL14M 4 S3LF D3F3NS3
EA: but wwait
EA: you acksepted the deul so its not self defense
TP: 1T 1S 1F 1 R3J3CT TH3 OFF3R
EA: wwell fuck
EA: this is wwhy i wwant to do all duels in alternia
EA: cuz see if i kil you nobody wwuld mind
TP: >:]
EA: stop smilin
EA: chck out THIS cool gun
EZ: D --> o my
EZ: D --> whats going on here
EA: ters about to get her ass whooped for messin with my girl
EZ: D --> ...
EZ: D --> ...
EZ: D --> terezi dont die ok
EZ: D --> in fact i can herlp you take down this guy
TP: NO N33D

> [I] =============>


Eridan fires, but Terezi jumps outta the way. Equiass ducks. WE NOT KILLING TROLLS... YET.

Next

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TP: H4H4H4 NOW 1 C4N PULL 4 S3LF D3F3NS3 C4RD 1F 1 N33D ON3
TP: 4ND 4 4TT3MPT3D MURD3R C4RD
TP: 1 LOV3 34RTH
EA: wwhats wwith youy and laww
EA: you remind me of those milenium dudes down ther

AN:

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Please command the trolls! I feel as though I should end this once I get at least one more command directed at the trolls. And the continuation of SJAHJ will be the first panel of the update, not within another update. (Sort of like how STAHMT begins right at the beginning of an update.) So it's sort of like the opposite of fan fic's "review or I won't continue" threat? Suggest or I might drag this a little longer than I originally planned? (After all, this was just supposed to conclude Karkat's match, introduce the last four unseen canon trolls and Elitaa, and breifly continue Vriska and Tavros's jorney through World 4.)

And I swear that this is all a part of a story. The recap will explain everything. I admit that I abuse Homestuck's use of anacronic order and perspective switches, especially during the portion where John and Jade were separated and this part right now.

Also,

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I'd just like to say that my fantroll is losley based off of Lisa Simpson. Losley.

[Edrobot]

> LORD BRITISH: REVEAL YOURSELF!

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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Lord English: Arrive and fuck shit up.

LORD BRITISH: REVEAL YOURSELF!

Check the Fox Crew's hitlist. Instead of Lord English, there's Lord Major Quimby. Whether or not LE can enter the SJAHJ-verse, we'll see LMQ before LE. And I want LMQ to be introduced in Intermission Act Three. This is because only the trolls can be commanded during this segment (including Elitaa and the "good twins" of everyone, but the latter may not make an appearance at all during this), and the part after before IA3 is supposed to be really short, about only two or three days worth of updates long.

I know that Lord British is someone whom LE was retroactivley named after but I know next to nothing about the series he's from. With a few odd exceptions like Link: Faces of Evil, I will not make reffrences to something I haven't seen. This includes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

Also I take back what I said last time. This might be the last part of STAHMT, but it won't be if someone were to command the trolls. Or if I come up with another idea. This portion is called Sweet Trolls and Hella More Trolls for a reason; it's supposed to be mostly focused on them.

And another thing, I won't do an update that deliberatley avoids typoes unless it's a self-insert narration or Rip's narrating another flashback. I will, however, try to tone down the typo count again.

Also HOLY MOTHER OF FUCK. The Intermission is longer than Act One of Homestuck.

• HS A1: 247 pages
• HS Midnight Crew Intermission: 204 pages
• SJAHJ IA1: 29 pages (END OF AC 1to [I] ==>)
• SJAHJ IA2: 225 pages (As of latest mirror update, ENTERMINION ACT 2 to [I] ME, LH, FIRE ME: PYROCUMULUS GIGADRILL ROBOSMASHER GOGOGO!!!!!!!!!!!
• SJAHJ Intermission Total (As of the latest mirror update): 254 pages

IA2 still has a few more pages to go to be longer than A1, both from this update and from the last update point in the mirror. I think Sweet Trolls and Hell More Trolls will push IA2 alone slightly over.

> [I] =============>


Feferi BITC)( SLAPS Eridan befoer he can do ANYTHING ELSE. Fail Duel is Fial.

Next

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FP: ---ERIDAN!
EA: shit fef
EA: i thought you WWANTED some vviolent men in your life
FP: ARE YOU )(IG)(?
FP: I dont KNOT want ANY sort of fig)(ting in H--ER--E!
FP: And NOT with my girlfriend!
EA: you dont knoww wwho youer messin wwith
EZ: D --> dont try to harm the empress
EZ: D --> seadweeller
EA: wwhy the fuck r you pickin her side? shes a see dwweeler two
EZ: D --> feferi may be a sea dweller but shes the empress
EZ: D --> i must respect her MORE then the highb100ds
EZ: D --> but you
EZ: D --> the one color in between
EZ: D --> is just a plain dweeller
EA: this isnt american equ
TP: (OH GOG NOT TH1S H3MOSP3CTRUM BS 4G41N)
TP: C4NT YOU JUST R3FR4N FROM K1LL1NG 34CHOTH3R???
TP: WH4T 1F 1 S4Y 1 SURR3ND3R TO TH1S S1LLY DU3L?
TP: BUT F3F3R1 1S NOT 1NTO YOU 1N 4NY QU4DR3NT
FP: Well...
FP: I'm starting to get some black feelings for him.
EA: wwait reely
FP: )(AY i )(erd t)(at!
FP: No fish puns, ok?
EA: wwait no i dont wwant to be in a black relationship wwith you
EA: i wwant RED
TP: YOUR NOT G3TT1NG R3D W1TH 4NYBODY
FP: O, and Terezi.
FP: I t)(ink we need to talk about you dueling -Eridan.
TP: YOU W3R3 OK W1TH 1T B3FOR3 W3 FOUGH
FP: I didn't t)(ink you wuld REALLY do it!
EA: wwait i think ther is ONE person wwho likes me
EA: ill try contactin her noww

> [I] =============>


You are now Eridan.

You deside not to do anything more stupid, and instead checkup on some plans.

Show Troling log:

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-- caliginousAquawar [CA] begins trolling arcenicCatnip [AC] at 10:23 pm --
CA: so
CA: fusha nep
CA: this plan you said you wanted us ot be workin on
CA: its not going so wwell
CA: fef palebroke up with me
AC: >:I <
AC: :I < why?
CA: i got into a fight wwith ter
CA: wwho is fefs girlfriend
AC: >:I < erIdan we need two Imperal bloods to make thIs work!
AC: >:I < If you cant convInce feferI to do through wIth thIs plan well all be fucked!
AC: D:< < the green blood boss gave me STRiTC InstuctIons not to faIl thIs!!!!!
CA: wwao wwoah clam down
AC: :I < well I GESS I should calm down a lIttel
AC: :I < thIs fusha blood Is gettIng to me thats all
AC: :D < o haha CLAM down I gettIt
AC: :I < I sea what you dId ther
CA: so wwhat
CA: this wwont cause a unstabel time loop wwillit?
AC: :I < no, but we need to have lIfe extenders In order to excecute thIs specIfIc plan
CA: wwoww you guys havve a lot of plans
AC: :I < Its very bissy
AC: :I < and stressfull
AC: :D < but the boss says thers a kIckass reward Involved If wew complete thIs!
CA: thats wwhy your trying your damndest?
AC: :I < yes!
AC: :I < hay wanna roleply wIle my gang rethInks stuff out about your faIlure?
AC: :I < It may calm down your brekup and myh plan faIl
AC: :I < at leest, It faIled furr now hehe
CA: aww wwhat the hell
CA: yes
[You both proseed to have one of the worst fishtroll roleplays ever]

THE POT THICKENS.

AN:

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5/13(?) cat(?)trolls introduced.

To sort things out, you CAN command the A2 trolls (or "evil twins"), Elitaa, any of the bloodswapped Nepetas (except maybe the sea dwellers because I haven't made their sprites as of now), Arenea, and Meenah. You can't command the other A1 trolls ("good twins") because they haven't been revealed yet, and the chances of them being shown at all are rather slim. (Though in the long run it doesn't really matter, since they kind of live in an A2 society rather than an A1 society, so I might need to change their sprites anyway.) You can't command the ancestors because I said so. By the way, for future reffrence (and because it might not really come up at all later in the story); each good/evil twin pair has only one "ancestor," but the pairs for the kids have two. You can't command a random OC who hasn't appeared yet. Don't command anyone who isn't a troll until this segment is over. After that, things are fair game.

No, Imperial Nepeta does not use inverse caps of her normal quirk (capitalizing Is) when shouting. That's just a delibrate error.

Edit: Added "THE POT THICKENS."

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [I] IN THE FUTURE PRESENT.


You are now Tavros.

Yopu rip off the wings of a flying koopa and glue it onto the BIGASS FISH.

It turns out that this fish can bereather on land! How conveenyent!

> [I] =============>


AW HELL YEAH! GET READY FOR TAKEOFF!

IT CAN FLY, EVEN THOUGHT HIS BODY IS HUGE AND WINGS ARE SMALL!

> [I] =============>


But waiot. Where the hell is Vriska? Where Are you going?

You deside to troll her to find out.

Show Trollinglog:

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-- adiosTortorador [AT] began trolling anarchistGripes [AG] at 12:45 am. --
AT: vRISKA?
AT: vRISKA, yOU THERE?
AT: hOLY SHITS ITS MIDNIGHT ALREADY?
AT: tHIESE PLANTETS AARE SO SMALL THAT THE DAY AEREA AND THE NIGHT AREA ARE ONLY A FEW MINIIUTES AWAY FROM EECHOTHER,
AT: i MEEN, i'M FLYING ON THIS FISH SHARK THING AND SUDDENLY i'M ABOUT TO BE IN THE NIGHT AREA?
AT: tHIS IS CONFUSING,
AG: Taaaaaaaavors!!!!!!!!
AG: Have you came to join the party?
AG: I looked all over this yellow ship 8ut I can't find you anywaer!
AT: pARTY?
AT: yELLOW SHIP?
AG: There's a yellow Ship heading strait for World 8-4!
AT: oH NO,,, iS THAT A BAD THING?
AG: Oh no! It's all undercontrol.
AG: Aradia says that Sollux propelled a ship over with his sykick powers 'cuz everyon wants to go there.
AG: Including me!
AG: Everyones theres, except you I think, Nepeta who I havent seen after I did the Charlie 8rown, and Solux who is working on something with a human kid.
AT: a HUMAN KID,
AT: iS IT ONE OF THE TWO PLAYING THIS mARIO GAME?
AG: Nope.
AG: DAve Striger.
AT: hOLY SHIT,, dAVE sTRIDER?
AT: tHE FAMIS WEBCOMIC MAKER?
AG: 8largh. I h8 his work.
AG: Jail8r8k, 8ard Quest, and Pro8lem Slooth r all full of lameass jokes.
AG: I can't even get poast the first chapter of PS!!!!!!!!
AG: And Coolstuck doesn't liveup to its name.
AT: yOU SHOULD TRY READING PAST THE FIRST CHAPTER OF ps,,,,,
AT: 1T GETS BETTER,
AG: Why the hell did you say "1T?"
AT: uHH,,,,,, tYPO,
AG: Ah well.
AG: Anyway, this ride is supposed to take 8 more hours.
AG: Itwas ten 8ut we slept during the first two.
AG: Where you at?
AT: wORLD THREE,
AG: O man!!!!!!!!
AG: Your planet is kinda far from where were at!
AG: Sorry, 8ut I don't think you'll get here in time.
AT: i'M SORRY THAT i CAN'T,,,, gET THERE TO CONTINUE MAKING UP FOR YOUR LIST,
AT: btw,, hOW'S THE LIST GOING?
AG: Terri8le.
AG: Not sure how to make up for the trolls I killed,
AG: Terezi's in a de8ate, Nepeta I don't think is heree like I said,
AG: I dunno how to contact The Evil to end the deal I made recently,
AG: Kanaya's asleep, so I don't know wht she wants,
AG: And you.
AG: Do you accept my apoligy and our little trip????????
AT: ,,,
AT: iSN'T aRADIA ON THAT LIST?
AT: aND gAMZEE,, tOO?
AG: O shit I forgot a8out that!!!!!!!!
AG: I can work things out with them!
AG: 8ut still can I strike you out now????????
AT: wELL,,,,, yOU MAY HAVE HEELED ME,,
AT: bUT YOU MOSTLY TREATED ME, AND ST1LL DO,, L1KE SH1T,
AT: aND THE HEAL1NG WASNT YOUR DEEL,,,,,,,
AT: 1TS PART OF THE GAME,
AT: sO 1T'S L1KE WHAT THOSE K1DS R DOING?
AG: AGAN with the 1s what's yur pro8lemo man?
AT: sORYY,
AG: So I'll try to make up for Aradia next.
AG: I guess I'm doiung all the low8loodS first?
AG: Man, I'd wish you'd 8e a8le to get here.
AG: Like I said, it's a party! ::::)
AG: Plus, you''lkl never guess the latest redrom shinanegans.
AG: Eridan and Feferi pale8roke up!!!!!!!!
AT: nO FUCKING AWAY,,,,,,,,
AG: Also, Karkat<3Equis is tots a thing now!
AT: nO,
AG: Yep!!!!!!!!
AT: tHEY HATE EECHOTHER,,,,, hOWAS THAT EVEN POSSIBEL?
AG: Well Aradia said it all.
AG: Karkat and Equius werr fighting.
AG: And Karkat alreddy has Elitaa in his black quadent.
AG: So Terezi and Aradia and Feferi agreeded to get Gamzee to meditate between them.
AG: Ten minites later, and they're making out!!!!!!!!
AT: hOLY SHIT,,,,,,
AT: r U LYING?
AG: Lying is 8ad for my karma!
AT: oH, RIGHT,,,,,
AT: YOUR KARMA SH1T,
AG: You need to get over here!
AG: What you got?
AT: i HAVE A BIGASS FISH THING,,,
AT: wITH WINGS,,,
AT: tHAT ACAN BREATHE IN THE AIR,
AT: bUT i THINK IT WILL TAKE TOO LONG TO GET HERE,
AG: O.
AG: Well.......
AG: Sorry.
-- archanidsGrip [AG] ceases trolling adiosTorrinator [AT] at 12:50 am. --

> [I] =============>


Wel that really suc-- WHAT THE FUCK?

Next the Talk

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TN: hAY nEPETYA,,,,,
TN: o WAITM, tHIS ISN'T THE GREEN BLOOD ONE,
TN: tHIS IS ONE OF HE ALTERNATE SELFS, ISN'T IT,,,,,,,,
TN: uNLESS, yOUER DOING SOME WEERD ROLEPLAY STUFF,,
NL: B) < hay Bero
NL: B) < indigo ac have a sortcut
NL: B/ < it wont get you to the ship,
NL: B) < But it will help you get to where the ship ends at!
TN: wHAT?
NL: B) < you have the keys to go around troll town, right?
NL: B) < you didn't drop them or anythin?
TN: nOPE,,,,,
TN: i FEEL LIKE,,, a ADM1N OR SOMETH1NG,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, wITH THESE KEYS,,
TN: nOT WAY IN HELL i WOULD DROP THEM,,,
NL: B) < well indigo ac knows a set of pipes that will get to to where the ship ends at!
NL: B) < it's a quick trip to 8-4!
NL: B) < come and furrollow me!
NL: B) < *hte clowncat calmy Beckons the Bull to come over to this sweat pipe over here*
TN: oK,
TN: sOUNDS LIKE A SWEET DEAL,,
TN: tHANK YOU nEPETA,,,,,
TN: eVEN THOU, yOUR NOT REELYL nEPETA,,
NL: >BV < man, were all acs in this bitch!
NL: >BV < all 13 of us!
NL: B) < *ac can be wooever she wants to be!*
NL: B) < meow

AN:

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The other Nepetas WERE planned to all be in World 8, just outside the inn, but now only the Red, Yellow, and Cerulean blooded Nepetas can be there for certain.

I'll try to edit Indigo Nepeta's face to look more stoned when I'm not as lazy.

Just to be clear, Tavros is trolling Vriska in the third image, not the other way around.

[PersonPerson]

Sloppy make outs
Just do it.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [I] TN: Sloppy make outs. Just do it.


No. Yoy actually barley KNOW her.

Well, your good friends with GREEN Nepeta, hjust not THIS Nepeta.

> [I] =============>


Karkat and Equius on the other hand are mnore than happy to make out. And no, this doesn't make place is the past again. THIS IS TSILL THE PRESENT! (if it was in the past they won't be making out)

Also vriska is making deals with Aradia. (also if it was the past, Vriska woldn't BE here)

show Karmalog:

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VS: Lissen I'm sorry for kissing Gamzee and now I made a karma list to make up for it.
VS: And other things.
VS: So, how can I make up for forcing you to ewatch me force Gamzee to kiss me?
AM: you into karma now
AM: and you actually want to make up for the bad things you did
AM: what are you, high
VS: D::::<
VS: P8OPL8 CH8NG8, 8R8D88!!!!!!!!
AM: sorry, just asking
AM: well let me see your list
VS: Fiiiiiiiine.
AM: o wow
AM: huh
AM: why is the makeout insident one item
AM: you wronged me and gamzee
VS: 8ecause I wanted to test your relationship!
VS: It was only really targetted at you.
AM: well you forced gamzee to kiss you so thats bad for gamzee too
VS: Is it?
VS: I mean, who WOULDN'T want to kiss me?
KV: I WOULDN'T.
VS: O please. You're kissing a sweaty asshoel.
AM: wait
AM: are you implying that youre worse than equius
EZ: D --> i heard that

> [I] =============>


Vriska's SICK BURN meter increases.

Next

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VS: Look, do you want me to make up for that or not????????
AM: well
AM: gamzee and i never really got to have a goo date
AM: so, well try to date again and you help us get things right
AM: it will be so romantic
GM: SaY vRiSkA, hOw'S yOuR qUaDrEnT fIlLiNg GoInG?
VS: 8ad.
VS: I have none of them filled.
KV: HAY EQUIUS, YOU WANT TO TRY TO HAVE A DOUBLE DATE?
TP: S4Y 1 N3V3R GOT TH3 CH4NC3 TO R34LLY H4V3 4 GOOD D4T3 W1TH F3F3R1
TP: COULD W3 P3RH4PS M4K3 TH1S 4 TR1PL3 D4T3?
TP: 4FT3R 4LL 1 ONLY D3S3RV3D 1T
TP: H4V1NG TO M4K3 4 HUG3 N3GOT14T1ON TO S3TTL3 TH1S K4RK4S VS 3L1T44 CONFL1CT
VS: Fine 8ut I'm not going to touch up all 3 of the dates.
TP: S4Y 4M 1 ON YOUR L1ST?????
TP: YOU BL1ND3D M3 4FT4R TH3 T4VROS 1NC1D3NT
TP: SOO 1VF YOU W4NT TO CROSS M3 OFF TH3N H3LP M4K3 OUR D4T3 GO W3LL
VS: Yeah your on my list.
VS: 8ut I think that the thing I'm doing to make up should 8e related to what I did.
VS: So I can direct you to the inns in this place and heel your eyesight!!!!!!!!
TP: BUT 1 L1K3 B31NG BL1ND!!!!
TP: YOU FORGOT 4BOUT TH4T?
VS: Well shit then.
VS: Fine, I guess I'll kill two birds with one stoner.

> [I] =============>


You are now Eridqn.

> [I] =============>


You sad because you alone becasue everyone either left for some triple date thing, is sleeping (Kanaya), or isn't on this ship. That just leaves you and this idiot here.

Show Talk:

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ES: Wanna hang ouT
EA: no wway
EA: wwhat, do you think im really despreate fro friends?
ES: Is this because i am a land dwelleR
EA: no its becuz your you
EA: activist asshole
EA: in fact, go awway

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Eridan: Consult with your Feferi sock puppet.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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This Eridan segment, for sure, will be the last part of Sweet Trolls and Hella More Trolls. I'm not saying this update is the last part, but I'm saying that there will be no sudden perspective switches. There might be one cut to the Fox Crew, but it isn't quite as sudden since we see them right in this update.

Also, if anyone doesn't like how I used the brightest yellow for the backgrounds, I can switch to a more dimmer shade. Thinking the yellow in the Prospit pajamas.

> [I] EA: Consult with your Feferi sock puppet.


The only sok puppet you have (aside you count the alt accounds you use to troll (not like troll as in you but troll as in U MAD)) is of yourself.

You do have maryenettes of feferi, planned to be of everybody and the reason for that and the sockpuppet is so hat you can reinact This is How we Will End it from Total Drama World Tour when you finish yourr LAND DWELLER KILLING

i left...
ar stuck to a pole
robbed kan of her soul
make even ter and vri lose control
and now i havve you (nep) stuck in a hole
this is howw wwe wwil end it

Yeah no that's fucking stupid. You think you were high on slime when you made those puppets.

Show Puppet log

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EA: hay fef puppet
EA: your not goin on a date wwith ter puppet are you
FEFERI PUPPET: Nope hurr durr.
ES: What are yoU HigH
EA: not this time
ES: Well what are you doing with those puppetS
EA: fuck you thats wwhat
EA: now leavve
EA: im goin to try to get invvolvved wwith thes gangs
ES: Is that a good ideA
EA: aat this point i dont give a fuck
EA: these guys are makin a ton of noise
EA: and i wwant SOME attention
EA: becides if i help take dowwn these milenium guys than mabey fef wwill forgivve me
ES: Oh what the heelL
ES: If i die at least theres 1ups that can be used to revive mE
ES: Plus i think watching vriskas dating shinanigans will be funny at firsT But get olsd really quicK
ES: So im joininG
EA: i wwasnt invvitin you
EA: get lost
ES: Bitch its a free shiP
ES: I can wander wherever i want tO
ES: Also i can be of hella backuP
EA: man i dont NEED backup
EA: wwait a minute
EA: someones trollin me

> [I] =============>


Show Whitetext log

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-- WHITE TEXT [] began pestering caliguasAquarim [CA] at 12:50 am --
You do need backup
CA: the fuck is this?
I know a lot of shit.
And the Millennium being stronger then you along is one of them.
CA: wwell fine then
CA: i'll get elitaa to join me
CA: wwill the two of us be enough?
Well you DO have the Fox Crew on your side, so...
Mabey?
I dunno, I can't see the future.
CA: wwell then howw do you knoww i'm not strong enough to take them on alone?
'Cuz your you, bitch
CA: D:
-- WT stops pestering. --

> [I] =============>


You barge in.

Show Trolls to humans

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EA: hay guys wwhat did i miss?
HH: Bwah!
HH: You shouldn't be here! It's dengerous!
EA: i got a lazer gun
ES: And i have flamible poison that i can use to make my fire powers biggeR
SS: o ok then.
HH: No! Not ok!
HH: Didnt you say you were being chased by one of them.
EA: yeah the 13 one
HH: O well the guy you couldn't fight, he's dead.
HH: So is #2.
HH: But I'm still not letting a bunch of kids join inn this war.
SS: Aw come on!
SS: With Jan and the Wraith dead, the REEL threats are gone!
SS: Everyone else on this ship is an idiot!
SS: Except maybe Hyrdra...
EA: wwhat if wwe wwant to look like heroes?
HH: Still no.
SS: Aw come on Hank! Lighten up!
SS: Ther the backup we need!
EA: eh fuck it
EA: im joinin the fight anywway
EA: COMNE HERE MILLENNIUM!
HH: No! Don't!
HH: STAY OUT OF THIS!

> [I] =============>


AN:

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Hank's supposed to be holding Eridan and Elitaa back in that last image. I was going to draw original images of the two trolls being grabbed by their shirts and pulled back, but it was getting late so I just copy+pasted the sprites again. Maybe I'll do an originally drawn hold back scene later?

Also it's been over three hundred panels before I make my first (intentional) Total Drama reffrence. At least I think. (Not sure if I made one before, and it's more of a reffrence to a fan fic I wrote.) This must be some kind of new record or something.

Quick Millennium Checkup: Schrodinger (4), Walter (6), Rip (8 AKA hellishHuntress), and Hydra (12) are all alive. As well as the White Text Guy and Lord Major Quimby. All of these characters' current wereabouts (except Hydra, who is implied to be on this ship) are unknown, with Walter, WTG, and LMQ being unseen so far. Rip is presumably at wherever she was communicating with John and Jade from, and Schrodinger teleported away in his coin. Luke (1), Zorin (5), Captain (9), Janitor (10), and Cartman (11) died once but came back to life, presumably by Jan in his FUCK YOU Mobile. All five of them are in the ship. Doctor (7), DEATH MECHA (14), and Darkhorse (15) are still dead, with Jan (2) and Waterwraith (13) recently being added as well. Tubalcain (3) has defected, but is still alive. He was last seen in World 5-1.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [I] BACK TO SJAHJ


> [I] ==>


THIS TAKES PLACE BACK DURING AROUND 10 O CLOCK. NOT AT ALMOST 1 AM.

Show Dia- AW MAN WERE BACK TO JADE AND JOHN BUT WE HEAR FROM JANE AND JAKE FIRST? LAME!

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WE: Hi.
WE: We were sleaping in 8-4's bed, but it... well...
ΓH: The beds there suck.
ΓH: They suck raw asscocks.
WE: Well that rudeness was unnecessary, but I ageree.
WE: Don't you have a room her?
MORSHU: Why you sleeping in 8-4?
MORSHU: Are you working with The Evil?
WE: No! Uh...
ΓH: Were just treying to rest in that awful castle. We wernt working with the badguys. I sweer!
MORSHU: Well ok them.
MORSHU: But there's only one bedroom in this inn. And its taken.
WE: :B(
MORSHU: But most of them are sdleeping on the floor anyway, so why the hell not?
MORSHU: That will be 5 coins, sir and madim.
ΓH: Only fiev?
ΓH: I meen its a late game level.
ΓH: Not that it matters if it was five or OVER FIVE THOUSAND becuz we have gotten plenty of dough from-
WE: HARD WORK SELLING CAKES!!
ΓH: Jane what was that for?
WE: *Pst pst becuz you almost blew are cover.*
ΓH: O sorry.

> [I] ==>


Next

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WE: Omg that bed looks so confy.
WE: Better then 8-4's place for sure.
ΓH: But your bro is sleeping in it!
WE: So? Wer siblinds.
ΓH: Very well then ill sleep on that couch.
ΓH: Say why the fuck dont any of these four sleep on the couch?
WE: Shh! I think that John might wake up.
WE: I wander what he's dreaming about.
FIRE ME: jade and i was... zzzz...
FIRE ME: ...WE ALSO LIKD IT!
WE: :/
ΓH: Well i dont even want to know about him.
WE: Hay, it might not be what you think! Jeez!
WE: You think the other one's dreams are jade free?
WE: Then again, I'm only assuming here.
WE: And you no what they say abou assume!
ΓH: I dont know.
ΓH: Since ther more or less the same person wont it be possible that there dreaming the same thing?
WE: I don't know.
ΓH: Well if i knew jade and i do im sure SHES dreaming about marge simpson.
WE: That might not always be the case!
LH: future dave watch out wach out wach out wach out WACH OUT WACH OUT WACH OUT WACH OUT!
WE: Hrm. She seems to be having a nightmare.
WE: Anyway let's just forget this and get some shut-eye.
ΓH: Wait.
ΓH: Wasnt dirk with these guys?
WE: Hrm?
ΓH: Nevermind i gues well discuss that tommorrow.

> [I] ==>


> [I] ==>


Show DREAMpesterlog:

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-- ectoBilologist [EB] began pestering ectoBiloligist [EB] at 1:11 pm --
EB: hay.
EB: who's this?
EB: i'm your inner female self!
EB: my what?
EB: that sounds like something rose talks about.
EB: oh gog roes...
EB: shoot i don't think i can think about her without getting nervos and fainting.
EB: me neerther!
EB: what, you lesbian?
EB: yeah.
EB: hoold up are you even real or am i just dreaming?
EB: oh your dreaming, and i'm a part of this dream!
EB: i'm not a real person going into dreems or anything stupid like that.
EB: but as long as were in this dream, i can be reel to you alright.
EB: ;)
EB: woah what?
EB: why did you wink at me?
EB: i thoughbt you said you was a lasbien!
EB: yeah lesbain.
EB: with a side of johnsexulel.
EB: turn around.
EB: i'll show you how to practace make SLOPPY MAKEOUTS with rose.
EB: oh sweet jesus i think i'm might faint too.
EB: good that you faint!
EB: i don't want to make out with a girl version of myself!
EB: isn't that like, incest?
EB: tell that to dave.
EB: hm?
EB: problem sleuth? remembre? hd and nb?
EB: how ps and si fell in love with them?
EB: o well in that case...
EB: STILL NO!
EB: fuck i don't care what feud says (not family fued) or what happens in dave's ms paint adventures, i'm not making out with you.
EB: are you sure?
EB: i'll pinch myself! i swear i will!
EB: better yet, i'll kick you in the ovaries!
EB: that way i can keep dreaming, and i can dream something awesome.
EB: like battling cthulu monsters with dave.
TG: hey john you wont belive what im doing in jades dreams right now
TG: exactly what you just said
EB: dave?
EB: dave!
TG: i was just droping by using my mad imagination and dream skills
TG: but i wont stay for long
TG: too bad because im really interested in this selfcest fantasy youre having right now
TG: if i tell rose about this i will no longer be the only one shell keep nagging to about that fruedian theory
TG: i mean sometimes i regret having that "spiritual quest" plot just because of her analysing
EB: DON'T TELL ROSE.
TG: i wont
TG: i was just trying to make a point
EB: AND THIS ISN'T A FANTASY.
EB: THERE WILL BE NO KISSING AT ALL IN HERE!
EB: yes there will.
TG: thats nice to know
-- TG left the convo --
EB: dave don't go!
EB: man, fuck my subconshos.
EB: o you know you wanna. ;)
EB: tUMUt
EB: D:
EB: alright now but still, turn around.
EB: i'll be waiting.
EB: ok fine.
EB: but if you try to romantically advance on me i WILL kick you in the ovaries.
EB: or balls, if my imagination is so shitty at making a female version of myself.
EB: kinda like ace dick.
EB: ok, i swear i won't try to kiss you!

AN:

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I swear that this won't get selfcesty. Seriously. I don't want this update to generate a ton of controversy, because this is all just a setup for a joke tomorrow. Just to clairify: the yellow-texted "inner female self" is a part of the dream, but Dave's entering his dream somehow (we'll find out how in IA3) and isn't a part of the dream. Also, this dream won't last nearly as long as the 2x Nepetaception. And yes, apart from "Homestuck but with SBAHJ characters" (Coolstuck), Dave also wrote JB, BQ, and PS in this universe.

I wanted to first use "X sucks raw asscocks" in a Simpsons fan fic I'll write later on, but oh well.

It feels wierd typing "==>" after using "=============>" so many times.

So yeah... if any of my readers have a color blindness where they can't tell blue from yellow, I'll try to work something out. (Since John and his "inner female self" both have the same handle initials AND quirk.) Heck, even if none of you do. I might go back and edit this.

FIRE John's still alseep because this takes place at 10:00 pm, and he woke up at 8:00 am. I really am trying to keep track of time here. Pay attention to the times on pesterlogs (unless it's in a dream; I just use a random time for them).

(Also I'm not going to debate as to whether or not PS/HD or PI/NB counts as incest. TBH I only think it depends on what you think of imaginary counterparts and the like. And don't even think about derailing this topic to discuss that. I hate derails. Ask Hussie through Tumblr or something.)

[OrangeAipom]

i can't see wario's text because zhe sucks.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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i can't see wario's text because zhe sucks.

Higlight the damn text then.

Also Jane and Jade will still be reffered to as girls, even though they're playing as Wario and Squeegee (Luigi). I mean, that would be like saying a girl playing Super Mario Sunshine would be reffered to as a guy whilst playing the game.

> [I] ==>


Now they talk

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JE: LAME! ERALLY REALLY LAME! D:
JE: don't come any closer!
JE: pleese?
JE: o relaxx!
JE: i'm just want you to see me up close.
JE: and hat's it.
JE: nothing else.
JE: o pleese.
JE: if your anything like me, then i know that that's a prank.
JE: what? you sayin' you can't trust yourself?
JE: o alright.
JE: this is just a draam and all.
JE: come closeer.
JE: like i said, i JUST want you to see your own locked-in persona.

> [I] ==>


Next

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JE: and give you a little kiss.
JE: ;)
JE: gwah!
JE: no!
JE: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!
JE: back away woman! i'm warning you!
JE: come here, jake!
JE: wait...
JE: did you say jake?
JE: well, that is you name right? john?
JE: o i guess i misheard.
JE: i thought you said somethinmg else.

> [I] MMEENWHILE, IN JANE'S DREAMS.....


Shes dreaming that she and Jake are dating.

Next

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JE: Isn't this place romantic, Jake?
JH: Well im quite flattered by your invitation to rthis wallmart.
JH: But and dont take this the wrong way hw can a superstone be consideered that romantic?
JH: Wouldnt a mall be a batter location?
JE: Anyplayce could be romantic once two people kiss.
JH: Eeven the dark sewers?
JE: Yes, even that.
JE: Now come on. Let's kiss.
JH: Woah um shouldnt we get something to eeat first?
JH: *Blushes slightly and glasses fog up.*
JH: I dont want to take this relationship to fasT!
JE: Oh come on Jake!
JE: Weve been dating and kising for years now!
JE: Why you so shy off all a sudden?

> [I] ==>


Next

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JE: Come here, Jake!
JH: Wait...
JH: Did you say jake?
JE: Well, that is you name right? Jake?
JH: O i guesss i misheard.
JH: I thought you said somethinmg else.

> [I] ==>


Show Outsdie of dreamlog:

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WE: Come on, Jake.
WE: Kiss mre.
ME: zzz... get any closer, my so called "iner female self," and i WILL kick you.

ME: ok that's it.
ME: i'm kicking you.
DS: (i guess this is why they sleep in bunk beds at home)
DS: (so theres no kissing or kicking or-)
DS: (should i do something about this?)
DS: (if i dont act soon)
DS: (either john will be an unwilling part of sloppy makeouts with his siter or jane will get kicked in the groin)
DS: (or both)

AN:

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We'll move out of this dream joke thing next update. Also, it is kinda important. It's a bit of foreshadowing.

Sprite for John's IFS is a work in progress. She looks kind of creepy, and that was NOT what was intended. I'll probably change the basic design by a lot when... well, you'll see in a few updates. Although if there is a significant change, it will kind of mess up a plan I have for a later update.

To clairify what's going on: Jane's dreaming that she's about to kiss Jake, and John's dreaming that his IFS (You know what? Just call her Jean from here on) is trying to kiss him. They're also sleep talking sometimes, which is why their dreams have the exact same lines in some points.

Today I've learned that it's very difficult to make John's sprite look like a girl without completely changing his hair style or putting him in a dress, neither of which I want to really do. I tried giving him long hair in a lose, rough sketch, but it keeps looking like he has an afro.

Why does Dave have a red outline? You'll see later.

[BenBen]

Dave: Wake up Jane.

[Edrobot]

Okay now can we have return of robo santa goast?

[Great Pikmin Fan]

(FROM TODAY ONWARD, THE MIRROR IS NOW UP TO DATE!)

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Okay now can we have return of robo santa goast?

Not until Intermission Act Three, which should start soon. For now, I want to wrap up IA2.

In fact, I'm doing eight panels today instead of my usual four.

> [I] DS: Wake up Jane.


You are now the sanekid Dave, who is red for some reason. And you're too late. Jane gets kicked in the groin. John's reaction speed in his dream was so fast that he kicked her before she could kiss him, so in the long run it doesn't even matter if you woke her up or not. The only difference would be how shocked Jane would be, and even then it might not go down by much.

You're just glad you didn't have to witness accidental Egbertcest. Come to think of it, where this was going without the kick was kind of like that Cody/Noah kiss from Total Drama, except you're pretty damn sure John/Jane won't get crazy popular anytime soon. (Wait what are you saying you fucking hate Total Drama you think it's a bad attempt at irony. Also there's no coolkid stereotype. And that's bad.)

Show Dialoglog:

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WE: YHEAAAAAA!!!!!!

Jane's screaming wakes everyone up.

> [I] ==>


Yo are now JOHN.

Next

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ME: oh y god i'm so sorry i kicked you, who ever you are-

> [I] ==>


Next

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ME: o. it's you.

> [I] ==>


Next

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LH: hay wait a minite john!
LH: jane and jake arnt garding the entrince to world 8-4!
LH: if we run like hell we can get there fast!!!
ME: cool!
WE: Now wait just a pissdrinking mimnite.
WE: ow....
WE: Jake, can you stop them?
WE: A suden injurty to my coital rtegions has left me a little unable to move all that fast for now.
ΓH: Sure thing!
ΓH: Ive been doing a lot of practise running so ill be able to catch up to them like road runner to a snail!
ME: dave help us out!
ME: wait wait wait why the hell are you red?
DS: im red because long story
DS: ill tell you later
DS: basically im not really dave
DS: im a dream self
DS: which actually works more like imaginary selfs from problem sleuth than dream selfs from coolstuck
ME: o so dream selfs are red?
DS: not really
DS: look i can conjure a wall or something to block this purple guy
ME: say dave, have you seen dirk or another me in a FIRE outfit?
DS: i wish i saw dirk
DS: i want him to know how shitty i felt when my mansion was invaded by fangirls and he left off to join you guys
DS: also some hella good friends you guys are
ME: hay we were busy!
LH: say how did that fangirl invashon go?
DS: good
DS: ill tell you later

> [I] ==>


Next

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ME: yes!
LH: hell yes!!
NL: :33 < hell
DS: fucking
ΓH: No!

> [I] ==>


Next

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WD: Sorry,,,,,, but you can't get in here without having to face me.
ME: son of a fuck!
DS: say i dont think i can help you with this wall forever
DS: much less take down this hatted asshole
DS: my dream meter will run low really fast
DS: well more like my three meters since i split them
ME: the hell is that?
DS: its like a combination of the health and special meters for dreamselves
DS: the level at which you can use dream powers depends on the original persons imagination
DS: it also determines how long it lasts
DS: this meter pretty much depletes when i use magic or take damage
DS: hell it even depletes just by leaving daves dreams and going into the real world
DS: only im not sure how "real" this mario world is considered
DS: what the hell kind of game is this anyway?
ME: well shit!
ME: wer still stuck here!
ME: will we ever get into the castle?
MORSHU: I belieeve I can help.

> [I] ==>


Next

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MORSHU: I have a portal gun that can shoot up to 4 portals insead of two.
ME: you have a portal gun.
ME: YOU HAVE A PORTAL GUN.
ME: AND YOU NEVER THOT TO MENTION THIS?
MORSHU: I snuck into World 8-4 and put two portals in your spirit room.
MORSHU: Below me are ther corresponding portals.
MORSHU: This will begin your inward jorney.
ME: oh yeah jane mentioned something about that.
ME: the hell is it?
MORSHU: It's optional, but I think it's best if yo take it since there's guards guaring the normal entrance and you're way too low of a level to stop them.
MORSHU: Affter all, you skipped a LOT of battles.
MORSHU: Basicaly your supposed to go in ther from world 8-4, and do some puzzle.
MORSHU: However, here you can go THER and use it as a way to get into World 8-4!
LH: whats the jorney?
MORSHU: You'll see.
MORSHU: John, go through the orange portal if you want to properly do the inward jorney.
MORHSU: Jade, you go through the grean one.
MORSHU: Go thought these portals and you'll get a bonis for when you enter 8-4.
MORSHU: It will make the lever MUCH easier.
NL: :33 < what about ac?
MORSHU: For not being a Mario Bro, you will not get this bonus.
MORSHU: I'm not sure if you should even enter the portals with them.
MORSHU: An inward jorny is kinda a Mario bro only thing, thought others may help.
NL: :33 < so ac can jump in with her boyfriend?
KV: THERE YOU ARE!
ME: what the fuck?
LH: that soundsed like... KARKAT? ARGH!!!!
NL: :33 < o i think its karkat and his furrends
NL: :33 < you two, john and jade, go on into the purrtals
NL: :33 < ill talk to them
LH: BUT I WANT TO SMASH KARKATS HEAD IN FOR SANDING ME DOWN THE WRONG PIPE!
ME: woah jade, isn't that a bit exttreme?
ME: we have to worry ahbout jake and that "6" guy, so let's just enter that pipe.
WD: Actually ii won't attack you unless you try to enter 8-4 but ok do the inward jorney.
WD: NO WIAAT.
WD: DON'T ENTER THOSE PORTALS AND DO THE INWARD JORNY!!!!!!

> [I] ==>


You hop through the portals.

Dave's last DREEM METER is a little more then halfway full, but its draining FAST. The group of ten trolls meat with Nepeta.

Next

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KV: IT'S ABOIUT DAMN TIME WE MEET AGAIN.
KV: WHAT THE HELL WAS YOU DOING DATING A HUMEN?
EZ: D --> take it EZ my frend
NL: :33 < hole on
NL: :33 < karkitty and equius are furrends now?
KV: OH NOT JUST FRIENDS.
KV: WE'RE IN A FLUSHED RELATIONSHIP!
NL: :OO < woah!
EZ: D --> we had a triple date with araia gamzee terezi and feferi
KV: VRISKA HELPED SET THINGS UP.
NL: >:(( < vriska?
NL: >:(( < shes the one who sent ac into this place in the first place!
VS: Oh, I'm past theat now.
VS: I've made a karma list to make up for all the 8ad things I've done!
VS: That's why I assisted with the 3x date, to mke up for 8linding Terezi and manupl8ting Gamzee to kiss me in front of Aradai!
NL: :33 < ok...
VS: What do you want me to do to make up for the Charlie 8rown?
VS: Or the whole cave 8urining, for that matter.
EA: wwater you high?
VS: Does everyone think I'm on drugs or something?
VS: Really?
VS: AA girl turns herself around and eveyrone's calling her a druggie.
EA: wwhy wwould you wwant to make somethin up for wwhat you did to nepeta
VS: So tjhat karkma wouldn't 8ite me in the ass!!!!!!!!
VS: Say, where's Tavros?
VS: Have you seem him anywere, Nepeta?
NL: :33 < ac was aslep in this bilding
NL: :33 < say, what time is it?
KM: About Nine
KM: We Came Here An Hour Ago And Vriska Starting Looking Around For Tavros
KM: She Thinks Of Him As His Sidekick For Her List Items
KV: COULD WE STOP TALKING ABOUT VRISKA FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS?
VS: No ::::D
KV: I BELEEVE THERE'S SOMETHING IMPORTANT WE NEED TO DISCUSS.
KV: NEPETA'S UN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A HUMAN!
ES: SO
KV: SO?
KV: TROLLS AND HUMENS JUST DON'T MIX TOGETHER, OK?
ES: Oh woW Your such a hypocritE
ES: For being a "BLOOD COLOR DOESN'T MATTER" type of guY You really seem opposed to a troll dating a humaN
KV: OH LOOK, MS RASITS AGAINST MUTANTS IS GIVING ME A LECTURE ABOUT TROLLS TO HUMEN ROMANCE.
EA: mutants?
KV: YEAH. PEOPLE WHO'S BLOOD COLOR ISN'T ON THE HEMOSPECTIRM.
EA: are you by any chanse one of them?
KV: FUCK YOU AND FUCK NO.
KV: MY BLOOD COLOR IS NOT A MUTANT, AND IT IS JUST NOT LIME.
KV: SO ES THINKS I'M REDUNDANT.
EA: i can see you blushing around equ
EA: rust blod isnt that bright
KM: Yeah Also You Shouting About Your "Juses Blood" So Loud Everyon On The Ship Can Hear It Gives Your Secret Away
TP: F4C3 1T K4RK4T YOOUR DO1NG 4 R34LLY FUCK1NG SH1TTY JOB 4T K33P1NG YOUR C4NDY R3D BLOOD COLOR 4 S3CR3T
NL: :33 < what yellow ship?
KM: Its A Long Story
KM: But IUll Explain
[WE'LL SEE HER STORY IN INTERMISSION ACT THREE ALSO IT INCLUDES SOME STUFF WE HAVENT SEEN IN SWEET trolls AND HELLA more trolls]

AN:

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ONLY A FEW PAGES LEFT BEFORE THE END OF INTERMISSION ACT TWO. It will probably take only one post tommorow, but it will have to be another "twice as much" post.

Also that thing Jake's standing on in the fourth panel is supposed to be the couch (which was previously offscreen) that Jake said he wanted to sleep on, and he was surprized nobody noticed.

The portals, in the second to last panel, have their inner areas colored in pale red and pale green because that's the color of the rooms John and Jade will end up in. The shot in the last panel DOES contain all ten trolls who were on the ship, so there's no need to count to see if any of them were killed off. Though Kanaya and Terezi (both to the right of Karkat) are a little difficult to recognize, due to being behind almost everybody. I feel I should note that blue portals correspond to orange portals (like in... well... Portal), and green portals correspond to yellow.

And yep, even the hellish landscape of World 8 can be as clear as day in the right time. Remember, these worlds are small spheres with a day/night cycle. This may never come up, but they all have the same "sun," and they always orbit in a strait line (otherwise using the Jetpacks of Progress would be a bitch), so it's pretty much the same cycle.

Don't worry, we'll see how the legendary 3x TRIPLE DATE COMBO with Vriska assisting went.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [I] ==>



Yoyu both land in two rooms, which your counter SAYS is within World 8-4. They look nearly alike: two doors on each ide, except the left door is blocked by something and the right door is locked on the other sidew. There's also a floor door (or wahtever the fuck you caall them heh heh), but that's blocked by a stutue of tanooki Mario. Neither of you ccan move the statures, but you're sure if you have TWICE AS MUCH SHTRENGTH you could.

Also there's a gatoerade on a table in the corern.

The only diffrince between the rooms is the color. But you don't know that, since you haven't seen eachothers rooms. Yet.

> [I] ==>


Let's just focis on JOHN.

You drinks the gartorade without really being commandeded to do so. Because really, that's the only oblivious choise of action here.

> [I] ==>


Uh oh.

You PASS OUT.

> [I] ==>


END OF INTERMISSION ACT 2.

> INTERMISION INTERMISION!


Hm? The Intermissions's Intermissiom?

> [II] ==>


Oh sweet mother of Jesus God.

> [II] ==>


You are now JOHN again, only you're not as Mario. This... seems to be a different story right now.. You're stuck on a tinyass iland.

Show Romanselog:

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JE: oh noez! i'm stuck on this island with noboy to save me!
JE: i'm all alone and scared here!
JE: who will come over here in his slash hers big ship and take me away from this place to somehwere more... romantic?
JE: like the city! or wallmart!
JE: oh, will someone please save me?

WHO SAVES JOHN INN A SHIP?

AN:

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Whoops sorry for the phycheout! There will be a brief intermission within the Mario Intermission before we find out what this "inward jorney" is.

Typing "END OF INTERMISSION ACT 2" brought a smile to my face. Over three hundred pages and it's finally over. Don't worry, the Shipping Intermission will only last about three or four days, not counting today. I really do have high hopes for IA3. Hopefully, things will be a little more organized there.

This intermission will be a lot less railroady than the way IA2 turned out. You get to select who gets to save John, as long as it's a kid or troll. (Troll that we have seen, so UU, uu, and the pre-scratch trolls barring Arenea and Meenah are not options unless Hussie suddenly reveals them tommorrow.) Please be more creative than Vriska or Rose. In case you haven't noticed, SJAHJ has a thing for crack ships. So go crazy! Push some John/Gamzee or John/Roxy or John/Tavros or even John/Dave into this! Also, this will be a little foreshadowy about Act Two and stuff. By the way, I'll say in advance that this isn't a dream John's having or anything, so he doesn't have to have prior knowledge of anyone for them to save him. Remember, before encountering Nepeta he didn't even know what trolls were.

This isn't a copy of Trol Seasson's Intermission Intermission because TS's II was not an intermission between intermission acts. You could argue that it's because it's in the middle of the Trol Seasson Intermission, but that's within the middle of the Hell Intermission, so it's really more of an Intermission Intermission Intermission. Also I belived the II was named this way because it was an intermission based off the Midnight Crew Intermission. Which it was.

Maybe it's because I've been watching Super Mario Sunshine Versus, but I was thinking of the Gelato Beach theme when I was writting the text.

Stats:

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• Act One: 1 page (Not counting the EOA because that's the first page of the intermission. Also not counting the title screen.)
• Intermission Act One: 29 pages
• Intermission Act Two: 348 pages
• Intermission Intermission: 3 pages so far (counting both title screens)
• Intermission Total: 380 pages

EDIT: Wow what do you know, those gatorade bottles in John and Jade's rooms WERE similar. Deleting AN saying otherwise.

[OrangeAipom]

John/Dave is kinda vanilla.

Hmmmm. How about...

John/Tavrisprite?

[BenBen]

John/Autoresponder

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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When I said kids or trolls, I litterally meant only the nineteen known characters, plus Arenea, Meenah, and possibly John's IFS (who, again, I will reffer to as Jean).

> [II] JE: Be saved by Tavrisprite.


It's not a spirte (we may get into the SBURB shit later on Act Two), but it seems that Vriska and Tavros had had FUSE CONBINED.

This kinda creeps you out but at least you get a rescue.

Show Shippinglog:

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JE: oh hi there... dude or chick?
JE: which one?
TVNS: uH.. 8oth,
TVNS: wE GOT INTO, a expliriment. wITH FUSING.
JE: so how does it go?
TVNS: tERRI8LE!
TVNS: I just CANT, life W8TH TH8S FUCK8NG M8RG8D P8RSON8L8TY,!,!,!,!,!,!,!,!
TVNS: 8LUHUH,!,!,!,!
JE: oh my.
JE: why don't you just..., you know, unfuse?
TVNS: 8ECAUSE,,, We both KNOW THAT we NEED THE EXTRA STENGTH TO SURVIV tHIS ocean!,!,
TVNS: i JUST,,,,, aRGH, H8ted myself UNTIL we fused like this!
JE: jesus crist!
JE: you know, i've herd that fusing only really works well if you do so with those your close friends or who you know or who your persinality is kind of similar with.
JE: you seem to be having sum problems.
JE: are you two, originaly, enemies or some shit like that?
TVNS: iT'S,,, cOMPLIC8ED,
TVNS: wE, aRE....
TVNS: I am.
TVNS: One of us tortured the other., bUT IT WAS TO STRENGTHEM THEM,, So I understand now 8ut still h8 it.
JE: arght! this is making my fucking head want to explode!!!!!!
JE: could you unmfuse?? this mixed persinality thingy is confusing the fuck outta me. D:
TVNS: No.
TVNS: wE BOTH NEEEEEEEED TH8S!,!,!,!,!,!,!,!,
TVNS: eVEN IF,,,, 8OTH OF US h8 8eing merged!!
TVNS: So I am really h8ing myself?
TVNS: gAH,,,!
JE: gah!
TVNS: Gah!!!!!!!!
JE: gah!
TVNS: g8H,!,!,!,!,!,!,!,!
JE: D:
JE: look ok just fgucking take me home ok?

> [II] JE: Also be saved by Autoresponder.


Dirks shades come flying in with mini-FIRE JETS (thats the orange shit below them.

You're not sure if this is better or worse.

Next

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JE: um ok now there's shades?
JE: and now i'm being pestered?
JE: uh... i'll answer these fuckers now?

-- bulbousButts [BB] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 2:14 pm --
EB: the fuck?
EB: dirk, is that your handle?
EB: and now you're speaking in red?
EB: this is so confushin!
BB: I'm Dirk's Ottoresponder.
EB: oh god, jhake warned me about you.
BB: I'm also these shades that are flying to you.
BB: Grab onto them.
BB: I'll fly you off here and away from the merged creap over there.
EB: but is it rewally that safe? :?
EB: i mean, he/she/they/it has a ship, but you just have...
EB: youself.
BB: dude do you really trust these people?
BB: They fuses out of ther own fucking will.
EB: no way!
EB: i wanna really meet these cool new people!
EB: and jake said you were a dick!
EB: whos to say you won't drop me off into the oshin?
EB: or a smaller iland?
BB: Look, if you want o wait for someon else, be my gest.
BB: But your chanse of another rescuse are about 1%.
BB: Unless I do some flashy ass smoke siginal or light show.
BB: But if you try to jump on that ship I will send Dirk's brobot after you.
EB: well do tjaht robot sneding!
EB: see if i care!
BB: Ok then.
BB: I gave you th option.
BB: But I guess I'll have to do this the hard way.
BB: Deploying Brobot in 3...
BB: 2...
EB: yeah while your doing that i'm going on this ship >:D
BB: O sycke.
BB: I already deployed him two minites ago.
BB: You and your hermaphrodilic new friend better prepare yourselves.
EB: jackass!
-- bulbousButtz [BB] ceased AutoResponding to ectoBiologist [EB] --

> [II] ==>


The fuck? There's another ship?

> [II] ==>


Okay, let's clear this narration up again. You are now Dave, albeit only temporarly.

Those orange things? ...Let's just say they're cannons.

Show Davelog:

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DS: (oh so thats how this is gonna be)
DS: (my bros asshole-responder is gonna play though on john)
DS: (im starting to think i need to do the right thing)
DS: (and destroy that fucking piece of garbage)

DS: (no wait dirk will kill me if i destroy the ar)
DS: (his robot on the other hand)
DS: ok my living cannons
DS: my fishy friends
DS: or whatever the fuck you are
DS: ready all cannons
DS: or gun mouths
DS: or whatever the fuck
DS: you guys are confusing you know that?
DS: well whatever
DS: open fire on that robot bitch approaching that kid over there
DS: the one boarding the blue ship

AN:

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Keep recommending people to save John, even though we have three "ships" already.

I maniped the Tavris sprite myself. Their text color and the color of their sign is the respective additions of Vriska's and Tavros's text and blood/sign colors.

Yep, Dirk's chuminitials are BB instead of TT. To give you a hint why, it involves the whole "evil twin" deal. If you've noticed in the memo, Jane's initials were BE. (bettysEmpress. Originally a shittyass pun bettyEmpressed but word of me says that that's now a retroactive mispelling) Given that John's is still EB, take a wild guess as to what Roxy's new handle was. (And yes John and Jake are supposed to break this pattern that's kind of the point.)

In case it's hard to read, the ship Tavris is on is called the S. S. Sprite.

EDIT: Accidentally reffered to John as JE in his first line in the pesterlog on the second panel.

[Edrobot]

Dave: Fight the DREAM LORD.

[OrangeAipom]

what about someone GRIMDARK or GRIMDRUNK or even GRIMDIRK.