Sweet Jade and Hella John: "Sharingport," the worst portmanteau ever.

[BenBen]

He should be saved by the best mayor ever.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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what about someone GRIMDARK or GRIMDRUNK or even GRIMDIRK.

To give a sort of guidline: It's very likley that not all concepts from Homestuck will be used in this. Captcha cards, trolls, and inter-timeline memos (although the latter is carried through Pesterchum instead of Trollian in this) exist for sure, but it's unlikley it will have first guardians, horrorterrors, or the normal Felt, and the Prospit/Derse dream self thing is outright jossed.

I'm planning a SBURB session later on in the story, a little bit after the Mario Intermission ends (but not right after; John and Jade would have just, and in this case they still are, played/playing one video game, and I doubt they would want to jump right to another after. Plus, I need to establish and show the world outside of the Mario Subspace.) Carapases will not be featured until then (you'll see why "Jack" is on John's enemy list).

Even though this isn't a part of the same canon, these guidlines will still apply to this Shipping Intermission. So commands like these, sadly:

He should be saved by the best mayor ever.

Won't be used for this Intermission Intermission.

And I sweat we will get an explanation as to why this II exists. And no, it's not a dream.

> [II] DS: Fight the DREAM LORD.


This command gives you two ideas. You see, due to your extreme dream self skills, you people reffered to you as the "Dream Lord." Jane, once, told you that that name was already taken. So you did a little research and found out about this British show Doctor Who. So, to do this command, you could go to sleep and either A: clone your dream self, and have a duel between them all, or B: conjure this guy and battle him.

And to both you say nah. Not while you want to show this "brain"less metally asshole a piece of your mind. And by brainless metally asshole you mean the AR. Blowing Dirk's "Brobot" to bits is a nice bonus, but what you're really doing is trying to establish yourself as the better Strider. But not by normally trashing Dirk's stuff; you want to do this IRONICALLY. You and Dirk have always had a sort of passive-agressive-ironic rivalry, especially since you and him both firmly belive your SIS favores him instead of you.

You give Dirk a strong-worded (by your standards) pester about his AR going too far.

Show Pesterlog:

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-- turntechGodhead [TG] beginst pesting bulbisButts [BB] at 2:20 pm --
TG: hey bro
BB: Bro.
TG: you wont guess what im doing
BB: You're trying to kill me Brobot thats what!
TG: shit really?
TG: i knew you were like a part of dirks shades or whatever but i wasnt even going to say what i was doing until ive already done it
BB: I used my traking skills to track where your having this conversation.
BB: Knowing where you are now, I then yoused my camra shit and looked around.
BB: And saw a godam row of fishcannons in that bigass ship orf yours.
TG: fuck
TG: you know dirk this responder of yours was better than i thought
TG: more irony points for you
BB: Wait you never herd my opiniion on this.
BB: Your trying to destroy my bot.
BB: This isn't cool.
BB: You know, I know your password, and I can hack into your MSPA acount and make the next update of Coolstuk be a bunch of Burt/Burt's Mom porn.
TG: no you dont understand
TG: your brainless metally asshole is trying to kill this heshe troll trying to save john from being stranded on that island
TG: out of his own free will
BB: The bitch DISERVD it.
TG: no he didnt
TG: he really didnt
TG: ar im serious here
TG: if this isnt an act of irony dirk will be down an alternate self
TG: which if that was me that would be no problem since i can duplicate my dreamselfs a fuckton of times and leave my dream world
BB: I'm afad that I am dun dun dun...
BB: AGREE WITH THE AR.
BB: Fuck yea.
TG: no wait what
TG: dirk how could you do this
TG: the ar is basically like 11 year old you with more technicle shit
TG: and with a better knowledge of jake since you two just about never speak or pester personally
BB: Look I just can't trust these guys.
BB: Don't you thnk someone familliar should come to John's rescue?
BB: A more recognizable person?
TG: dude thats kind of close minded isnt it
TG: a bro should always meet new bros when given the chance
TG: and that goes 2x for rescues
TG: in fact dont you think that "hey im the guy who rescued you back on that island" makes for a hella conversation starter?
BB: It seems this two-Troll hybid thingy has a identitiy crisis.
BB: Do you reelly want something like this, with a fucked up personality that it seems is two fucked up personalitiyes mixed to be John's savor?
TG: an identity crisis
TG: it reminds me of you a little
TG: doesnt that seem odd?
BB: Ok you know what I've changed my mind.
BB: Woa what?
BB: Call off the Brobot.
BB: No.
BB: If you don't, I will.
BB: In case you dont remembr, I'm fucking linked up to him.
BB: I have a tighter hold on him then you.
BB: In fact, I can hack onto YOUR blog and be the one to post Burt/Mom porn all over it.
BB: Hell if you greenlight this and deacivate my Brobot I'll jack up BOTH of your sites.
BB: Oh fucking hell wat did I make here.
TG: you were eleven
TG: we all did stupid things when we were eleven
TG: johns barley out of that phrase even though his 13th is coming up in two months
BB: I can see it now.
BB: Burt and Jeff r playing a games on a couch when Bert asks, "U Bro... where are your pants?"
BB: Jeff's like, "I took them off because I was banging your mom for a minite there...
BB: "AND NOW YOUR BANGING HER!"
BB: And then he laffs.
BB: Ok that made my laugh.
TG: i guess you like eleven year old humor then
TG: anyway while you were talking to yourself about litteral motherfucking
TG: ive already directed the cannons to fire
TG: say your prayers for brobot for him ar
-- TG stops the pestering --

> [II] ==>


you are now John again and Woah what the fuck?

Sum exploshons oxxur. You LEEP the hell on the ship.

Show Talklog:

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JE: oh crist!
JE: water we, in the middle of a war?
TVNS: uH,,,,,,,,
TVNS: J8st h8p on the fucking ship alreddy!
JE: ok then!

> [II] ==>


Meanwhil,e other ships hear the exploshons of the groinks.

Show Otherships

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RL: Hm?
JH: hay i think thats john over there!
JH: he looks like hes in truble!!!! D:
KV: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT?
JH: JEE WHATDAYA THINK?
JH: theres fuckin bombs everywere in this oshin bitch!!
JH: its like an orgy of exploshons going on hreer!
JH: the sea is all "oh no pleese dont do it in here"
JH: but those bombshells or bullets or whatevs are all "yeah no fuck that wer having coitus right here!"
JH: and then-
TP: PL33S3 STOP
TP: TH1S 1S D1ST3RB1NG 3V3N BY MY ST4ND3RDS
RL: im actualy kkinda interested in this story
RL: so jade hows the bombs coitus?
RL: ;)
RL: Oh my god.
RL: Roxy, don even start.
RL: We should go over there and try to save rhem.
JH: fuck yeah!
JH: lets go there!!!!
RL: wait shouldnt we get backup?
RL: ...
RL: Holy carp Roxy, you have a point.
RL: Thse things have cannons or some sort.
JH: well say what you want but im goin in!!
TP: M3 TOO!!!!
KV: YEAH AND I'M GOING BECAUSE I HAVEE A OLD SOVYIT WARSHIP.
KV: OH YEAH THAT'S ANOTHER THING.
KV: TEREZI, JADE AND I ALL HAVE GOOD SHIPS.
KV: OR A DRAGIN IN TERESZI'S CASE.
KV: ROSE, ALL YOU AND YOUR SISTER HAVE IS A FUCKING SHRECK PLUSH.
JH: o yeah rose what the hells with that??????
RL: acshally thats my idea
RL: we bought it cuz they were on sale
RL: and then i was like "fuck rose lets make this into a boat"
RL: and then she stbbed it with her needels and made it boaty
RL: cuz lets face iot theres a fuckton of water around our house

> [II] ==>


Nepeta takes note of the rase going on. Is this... a race of love?

Shes interested.

AN:

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I've only seen two episodes of Doctor Who (actually, the second and third parts of a three parter) and neither of them involve this person. So sorry that I couldn't use the reffrence properly.

I'd like to clairify that Burt, Jeff, Geromy, and the nine mermaids are adults, like Bro, Jeff, and Geromy are in SBAHJ.

The kids birthdays are still on the same days, except they're pushed back a few years so that this adventure will take place on 2012 (the 14th of Febuary as of the second day in the Mario Session, in fact) and they're still the same age. So does this count as aging them down or...?

Anyway, anyone remember back in Intermission Act One where the narrator considered the page with Jade's explanation of the Mario game to be a longer dialoglog than ususal? Yeah...

Roxy's speach is not going to be riddled with (more) typoes because she isn't... well... typing. I don't care if a canon update has her "saying" typoes during a spritelog/dialoglog later on, even if it's excused as mispronouncing a word. I'd actually like to keep that gag to a minimum.

You know that this update was originally supposed to have two panels with John boarding the S.S. Sprite, and the part with Nepeta was supposed to be tomorrow, if I didn't change my mind by then? Yeah, the bombs hitting the water and John "Leeping" on the ship were supposed to be two seprate panels. But when I got to that point, I already drew John jumping to the ship. So now you get an extra page because of my forgetfullness.

Spoiler?

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I might use this as a ship later on. Although hopefully "later on" won't reffer to that many pages. This isn't supposed to be that long. I'm giving no more than about fourty panels.

Also, in advance, don't even try to make a command along the lines of "Hussie: launch cannons at ships." I'd rather these ships destroy eachother than get destroyed by a person who isn't even running THIS show.

EDIT1: Fixing url linking at the end. Also it's "eleven year old humor," not thirteen.

[OrangeAipom]

aradia is drowning because she can't swim

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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I ALMOST forgot to change the title yesterday, but I did.

> [II] AM: be drowning because you can't swim


O NOEZ! WON'T SOMEON SAVE HER IN TIM?

> [II] ==>


Gamzee rides in on his Lustis. Wow vary original Aradia has the same bf as she did back in SJAHJ.

Show Gamsealog:

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GM: HoNk HoNk HoP oN tEh GaMzEe ShIp!
AM: well thanks for saving me matesprite

> [II] ==>


AND HTHEN THEY BOTH SLOPPY MACKEOUTS.

> [II] ==>


Rose subcomes to pear pressure (also Roxy kinda made her go) and goes with the other three. Terezi has the leed and Karkat and Jade are sorta neck and neck. But it dozent matter cuz this isn't really a race against eachother, just aganst the time before SOMETHING BAD MIGHT HAPEN.

[BenBen]

Jake: Appear on a ship... a space ship!

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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You know, since I adapted my "John and Jade are the only major characters who don't use SBAHJ-ish slang in canon that do" rule, I've been wondering exactly how to write the other characters. And then it hit me.

Nobody in Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff talks except the titular two and, in one instance, Geromy.

How did I not notice that.

...I GUESS that I'm going to lessen on the typoes yet again and only have the typoes mostly apply for John and Jade. And the narrator. Or should I...

> [II] Other JH: Appear on a ship... a space ship!


Ok.

> [II] ==>


Hm. It seems that Dirks bot crashed on your ship. A reel shame there.

Dirk's AR pesters you.

Show Pesterlog:

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-- bulbousButts [BB] began pestering gologothasTerror [GT] at 2:30 pm --
BB: DUDE.
BB: That was MY robot.
BB: You don't hurt my robot man!
BB: Aw shit it might be broken.
GT: Oh no im sorry!

> [II] ==>


Brobot gets eeten by a SHARK.

DEAD.

Next

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BB: Well shit.
BB: I think Imma have to come up with a new plan.
GT: Wait wait wait.
GT: A plan for what?
BB: Yanking John from tghat ship with the he/she troll combo on it.
GT: Hole on!
GT: Johns ben rescued?
BB: Yeah. And by a person I don't trust.
BB: But I do.
BB: The fuck? How did you gfet on here?
BB: We use the same chumhandle.
BB: I thought you knew that by now.
BB: We've been doing this for 2 years.
GT: Wait just a fine minuite here!
GT: Agan i asked if john has been rescued?
GT: Ill search the seas until i find where this insident is occuring if you dont tell me!
BB: You see a bigass ship in the distance?
GT: Yeah?
BB: Dave's there.
BB: And neer him is John.
BB: No wait that's a lie.
GT: Im not falling for that!
GT: And neether does jane!
BB: Wait Jane's with you?
GT: Yes I am!!
GT: Wait hang on.

BB: Wait is Jake gone?
BB: Yeah, I can see it in my view port.
GT: sfsrbejlfgsgvsaw
GT: HOO HOO HOO!!!!
GT: hfbjlsfszb
GT: Sorry!
BB: So.
BB: Why r you supporting Johns' individuals?
BB: Because dude he's a human and shit.
BB: Thats racist against robots.
BB: Ok if your not being ironic I'll deactivate you now.
BB: I am.
BB: Come on Dirk you don't know about yourself enough?
BB: Well, you DO have two years of TECHNICAL EVOLVEMENT, so mabey?
BB: hahaha this is fuckiong funny.
BB: Lissen to you arguing to yourself.
BB: If only Dave culd see this.
BB: Oh wait.
BB: I can message this conversation to him.
BB: Ok that's it I'm deleting your program and starting anew.
BB: No I'm just being ironic again.
BB: Seriously I don't even understant how a two year younger version of me is owning you at everything.
BB: Thats some hardcore fail right there.
BB: You evolved.
BB: Ok so I did.
GT: Oh my, this is kinda sorta trubleing.
GT: EWho argues with themself like this?
GT: ABGNRBHLGSEBGDSZGD
GT: Sorry!
GT: Hang on ill pester you back!
-- GT ends the convo. --

> [II] ==>


Next

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JH: Jane i told you not to spy on my conversations!
JH: Theyre private for a reeson you know?
JE: Well, I happend to caught that John's been rescues!
JE: Why wouldn't I want to heer that?
JH: Yeah but it was my and dirk and his ar and we might have started tlking about dirks gay crush on me.
JE: He's crushin' on you?
JH: Well i know tha auto responder is.
JH: I dont know much about dirk himself since we never talk.
JH: You know whats puzzling about me you roxy and dirk?
JH: Aside from you and me none of us barley dont know eachother.
JE: Too many multiple negatives, Jake.
JH: FUCK GRAMAR.
JH: Anyway were quite seperate but are good twins reely know eachother.
JE: Do they?
JE: I know John's always haning out with Jade but is he reely that close with Rose and Dave?
JH: Well roxy is always trying to set john up with rose so...
JE: Dufe.
JH: What?
JE: You know.
JH: Oh right.
JH: Romanse between john and rose is not possible at the moment becuz rose is alreddy in a relationship.
JH: ...
JH: D:
JH: ...
JH: Well i was thinking.
JH: Why not should i make this public?
JH: Ill open up a memo about johns rescue!
JE: Bag that idea sounds swell!

-- CURRENT gologothasTerror [CGT] RIGHT NOW begins opening up intertimeline memo titled HOLY SHIT GUYS JOHNS BEN FOUND AND RECUED at 4:33 pm --
CGT: Um yeah.
CGT: I beleeve the title of this memo says it all.
CGT: So if anyone has anything to say about this...
CGT: Pleese do so.
-- CURRENT ectoBiolojist [CEB] RIGHT NOW responds to memeo --
CEB: IT'S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!
CEB: i was pestering everyon for 3 days!
CEB: jegus!
CEB: also how the fucking hell can my own dad not try to get a rescue crew?
-- CURRENT beettysEmpress [CBE] RITE NOW responds to memo --
CBE: Dude.
CBE: Dud busted his ASS trying to save you.
CBE: Cut him sum slack ok?
CEB: oh like you were doing anything.
CBE: I...
CBE: I just...
CBE: What?
CBE: I made a TON of stuff to try to find you!
CBE: You know we all picthed in on this!
CBE: It's a trubeling effort for all of us!
CBE: Cut US some slackers too!
CBE: >:(
-- CURRINT gardinGnostic [CGG] RIGHT NOW responds to memeo --
CGG: johhhhn....
CGG: do you think i didnt do that much effort eether??
CGG: *id do a bating eye smily if i knew how*
CEB: course not jade!
CGG: yeah i found a ship even and went out into see in it!!
CBE: Hay!!!!!!
CBE: I also FOUND a red soviet ship1!
CBE: Altho I can't find it right now...
CGT: And i found a fuckin SPACE SHIP!!!!!!
-- PAST cerdioGenetisist [PCG] 3 HOURS AGO responded to memo --
PCG: OH JANE YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A RED SOVIET SHIP?
PCG: I THINK I'M IN IT RIGHT NOW.
CBE: Well wait!
CBE: Theres no telling that that's mine!
CBE: Well... did it have a red fether or a red BIGASS SWORD in it?
PCG: WELL JEE RED SHIT IN A RED SHIP.
PCG: THAT'S LIKE PLAYING NEEDEL IN A HAYSTACK HERE.
PCG: I'LL LOOK.
PCG: AND GET BACK WITH YOU WHEN I FIND IT.
-- FUTURE carcinoGenetisit [FCG] TWO OOWERS LATER respondes --
FCG: HER'S A BETTER IDEA.
FCG: I'LL SAVE SOME TIME BY DOING THIS.
FCG: I JUST FOUND IT, AND TO YOUR PRESPECTIVE IT ONLY TOOK A SECOND.
FCG: BUT FROM MINE, IT TOOK 5 HOURS!
PCG: YOU'RE TELLING ME IT TAKES ME FIVE OWERS TO FIND A FUCKING FETHER OR A SORD?
PCG: OR BOTH?
CBE: No wait there can't be both.
CBE: It's complicated.
CBE: But just trust me on this.
PCG: WELL FIND, I'LL LOOK AROUND.
PCG: FOR FIVE FUCKING HOURS.
PCG: ALTHO WHO KNOWS I COULD FIND IT EARLY, BUT THAT WILL FUCK UP THE TIMELINE.
PCG: AND I'LL BE DOOMED OR SOMETHING.
-- CURRENT turntechGodhead [CTG] RIGHT NOW responds to memo --
CTG: no man doomed timelines is only coolstuck stuff
-- CTG logs out of memo. --
PCG: ANYWAY, I'M DOCUMENTING EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS STUPID ASS SERCH.
FCG: OH HELL NO.
FCG: YOUR LOOKING AROUND BY YOURSELF.
FCG: NO MEMOES FOR YOU.
FCG: HAVE FUN RASEING TEREZI, JADE, AND THE LALONDE TWINS.
FCG: I KNOW YOU WILL
PCG: WOA WHAT?
FCG: NO.
FCG: I'M NOT HAIVNG THIS CONVERSATION WITH YOU.
-- FCG bans PCG --
FCG: THERE. I'LL BE THE KARKAT FROM NOW ON.
CBE: So this IS the old ship I found thern?
CBE: Well shit.
FCG: SORRY. I'LL GIVE IT BACK AS SONN AS I CAN.
CBE: No. It's not that.
FCG: WHAST IS IT THEN?
CEB: i think she has a dirty magazine on there or something.
CEB: my guess is penis.
CGG: penis?
CEB: you don't know about it?
CEB: it's like boobs but with nude men insted of nude women.
CEB: you should know that cuz onthe back of your boobs magazine,
CEB: ON EVERY SINGLE ISSUE,
CEB: it says "if you like penis stop reading boobs and start reeding penis.
CEB: "unless you like both of them.
CEB: "then keep reading boobs but stil try out penis."
CGT: Woah woah woah!
CGT: Jane do you read about penis?
CBE: JAKE! I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THIS WITH YOU ON THIS MEMO!
CBE: For fucks sake man were right next to eechother.
CEB: so... you do own penus.
CBE: Sh... SUHT UP JOHN!!!!
CGG: o come on dont feel bad about it
CGG: i have boobs!!
CGG: and so does jake!!!!!!!
CEB: haha wow jade you and your bro r sum perverts.
CEB: and by bro i meen jake, not the cool bro that raises both of you.
CEB: but i think there's something wrong with him too.
CBE: I NEVER SAID I OWNED PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
CEB: you neve said no... ;)
CBE: NO!
CEB: nope. too late. i don belleeve you.
CBE: ARGH!
-- CBE bans CEB --
CGT: Hay jane!
CGT: Thats not cool!
CGT: Johns the stranded one in the first place!
CGT: Hes why i started the memo!
CGT: Ill unban him.
-- CGT unbans CEB --
-- CGT, as the fuckin' ADMIN of this memo, prevints CBE from banning people --
CBE: Am i not the reason why you started this memo?
CBE: And yes, that reminds me, John your getting rescued!!
CBE: Arnt you happy to be off that iland after being on there for 3 days?
CEB: yeah i guess.
-- CURRINT bulbousButts [CBB] RIGHTE NOW responded to memo --
CBB: Dude you started this memo whist chatting with me.
CBB: You want to heer my opinions on this?
CBB: Or mine?
CBB: Oh mother fuck.
CBB: Same handle, remember?
FCG: I'M NOT INTRESTED.
-- CBB bans FCG from memo --
-- CGT unbands FCG from memo --
-- CGT, as the fuckin' ADMIN of the memo, prevents CBB from banning people --
CGT: NO BANNING!
CBB: No wait that wasn't me that was the AR.
CBB: Yep. I tried to ban him.
CBE: Can we at least ban Jade?
CBE: I have HAD IT with her MOTHERFUCKING PERVRETEDNESS in this MOTHERFUCKING MEMO.
CEB: D:
CEB: no don't ban jade man she be pimping.
CGT: Yeah jades cool.
CGT: Im not banning her.
CGG: ;D
CGG: fuckawesome!!!!!
CGG: thanks jake
CGG: <3
CGG: you know jane you culd always leeve this memo yourself if you dont like us perverted talks
CBE: What the... I dont...
CBE: You culd be spreading even MORE perverted romors about me!
CBE: Rumors that are fake!
CBE: Remember, this is a TOTALLY FUCKING PUBLICH MEMO.
CBE: Not just across the world, but acros TIME as well.
FCG: WELL THIS WAS YOUR IDEA.

AN:

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I had no sprite for Brobot so I had to draw him.

Also this intermission-within-an-intermission may or may not be plot relevant, but at least it will introcude a few concepts and characters for both IA3 and Act Two.

Jesus Christ it takes me longer to do the dialoglogs/pesterlogs than it does to do the images now.

EDIT1: Messed up the coloring for Karkat after Dave comes into the memo. It's because that part of the memo was a last second idea, to elaborate that wierd time shit doesn't work the same way in the SJAHJ-verse.

[OrangeAipom]

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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Thanks for the sprite, OrangeAipom, but I don't think I'll be using it for the rest of the Intermission Intermission.

> [II] ==>


Next

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CBE: Yes, but now I'm starting to regret it after this memo has become tha "Let's accuse Jane of reeding softcore ponografy" memo!
CGG: sig
CGG: jane why the hell cant you amitt it???
CGG: your are a pervert! >:D
CGG: i see you drooling over my brother
CGG: well both my brother and my "bro"
CBB: Hay as much as I like this rumor thing,
CBB: Can we get back to the DISCUSHON AT HAND?
CBB: About John being sabved by a he/she?
-- FUTURE aracnidsGrip [FAG] 30 MINITS FROM NOW responded to memo --
FAG: Hay!
FAG: FYI we were two sepreite people!!!!!!!!
FAG: but then we merged together using the fuse combine.
CBB: Reely then.
CBB: You were two poepl all along.
FAG: What do you think????????
FAG: That I was com8ined with that loser Tavros the entire time?
CGT: Ok john id like to say that my ship is coming over for you!
CGT: I get to join you and jane and i can finlly talk to you agan.
CEB: cool.
CGT: Wait a minit.
CGT: What the fuckhell is that?
CBE: It looks limke a dragin.
CEB: what?
CBE: John, there's something hedding towards you ship!
CEB: aw ballls.
CEB: can you see anything?
CEB: is it... BAD?
-- future gallowsCalibrator [FGC] 10 MINITES FROM NOW responded to memo --
FGC: NOP3!!
FGC: YOU S33 TH3 R3D T3XT GUY W4S R1GHT
FGC: TH4T P3RSON ON TH3 SH1P W1TH JOHN 1S B4D
FGC: W3LL ON3 OF TH3M 1N TH3 FUS3 COMB1N3 1S
FAG: Am I?
FAG: Wait what am i doing arguing with your pas self.
FAG: 20 minites from now, you'll 8e captured 8y me!!!!!!!!
FGC: YOU S33 YOU JUST 4SK3D 1F YOU W4S R33LY 4 B4D P3RSON
FGC: BUT TH3N YOU M3NTION 4TT4CK1NG M3 4ND C4PTUR1NG M3
FAG: 8ecause you tried to ataack ME!
CGT: Dude what?
CGT: Hold up theres this pirate thing going on on that ship?
CGT: HOLD ON JOHN IM COMING RIGHT AWAY!!!!!
FAG: Yeah sure, go ahed and try to 8e the 8ig hero around here.
FAG: ::::)
CGT: And whats that supposed to meen?
-- FAG loged out of memo --
CEB: hay i think i see somethig approaching.
CEB: fgc, is that you?
FGC: Y3P
FGC: 1 GU3SS 1 WON TH3 R4C3
FGC: >:D
FGC: JKDINLFFPRU9HR
CEB: hm?
FGC: H8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8!
-- FGC loggs out of memo --

> [II] ==>


Next

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TP: W3LL TH4T W4S D1STURB1NG
JE: so...
JE: who the fuck r you?
TP: 1 W4S GC 1N TH4T M3MO W3 H4D
TP: 4ND 1 B3L33V3 1 JUST SM3LL3D MYS3LF G3TT1NG C4PTUR3D OV3R YOUR COMPUT3R MON1TOR
JE: wait smell?
TP: 1M BL1ND BUT 1 C4N SM3LL COLORS
TP: R1GHT NOW 1M SM3LL1NG SOM3 P4L3 SH1T TH1NK B3H1ND M3
TVNS: (O shit she can heer me.)
TVNS: (uS,)
JE: damn that sounds like a kikass powers!
JE: can you teech a humen to do that?
TP: NOT R33LY
TP: 1TS R33LY ONLY 4 TROLL TH1NG
TP: W3LL MOSTLY 4 T33L BLOOD TH1NG
TP: BUT 1 TH1NK OTH3R TROLLS C4N L3RN HOW TO SM3LL COLORS
JE: aw...
JE: so why did you come here?
TP: JUST TO CH3K OUT TH3 3XPLOSHONS 1 H3RD
JE: oh yeah that.
JE: you know the orange text guy in the memo?
TP: NO
TP: 1 ONLY TOOK 4 SM4LL W1FF 4T TH3 M3MO
JE: well ehs an asshole.
JE: and now i gess this other, BIGASS SHIP is trying to stop him?

BACK ON THE MEMO:
CEB: hay guys i'm met with gc!
CGT: Oh my...
CGT: Is she evil or simething?
CEB: um no...
CEB: she's actually kinda cool!
CEB: i dont know WHT she is, though.
CEB: she has grey skin and oringe hornms.
FCG: REALLY? YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT TROLLS?
CEB: well i've HERD of them, and theres a few in schooll...
CEB: but i nevr reely knew one until now!
FCG: TROLLS HAVE BEEN IN EARHT SINCE THE MIDDEL OF WORLD WAR II!

> [II] ==>


Next

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FCG: YOU SEE,
CEB: NO!
CEB: I DONT WANT A HISSTORY LESSON!
CGG: dudes dudes dueds
CGG: i think where forgetting somethig important here...
CGG: jane what color?
CBE: Color of what?
CBE: Jade this better not be about my FAKEY FAKE penis magazine stash!
CBE: Is it?
CGG: no
CBE: Ok. What is it?
CGG: what color of men is on your penis cover?
CBE: Oh balls.
CGG: oh come on
CGG: you know how i reed mostly the "yellow" issues of boobs cuz i like 'em yellow
CGG: and jake reeds the blue one!
CGG: so is it any "od" color or just normal skin colors?
CBE: NO!
CBE: AGAIN, I DON'T OWN PENIS!
CBE: MAGMAARGH!!!!!!!!!

> [II] ==>


Next

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CBE: Jake can we end this memo now?
CBE: John's been found and Jade and us are also tring to save him!
CGT: well i dont know.
CGT: I think rose and roxy shuld know about this.
-- CURRINT energeticEostalgist [CEE] responds to memo --
CEE: i know about tihs
CEE: *this
CEE: its cool that johns bein saved
CEE: but whats cooler is the PRON your reeding jane!
CEE: woo hoo!
CEE: *wink*
CBE: Say Roxy,
CBE: Is that wine by any change actually a non lacolholic bevrige?
CEE: wait let meh check
CEE: o shiiiiiii
CEE: boys can you log off the memo for a wile?
CEE: *aw shit im ackshally typing to the boys wile sober shit shit shit i feel so nervis
-- CEE logs out --
-- CURRENT tenticleTherapist [CTT] RIGHT NOW responds --
CTT: I'm vary interested in both recent developments.
CTT: Both John's rescue and his sister's porn stash.
CTT: And no, Jane, you can't use the "sober me can't talk or even type to guys" trick on me.
CBE: I DON'T OWN PENIS!!!!
CTT: O yes you do.
CTT: Fase it, Jane, this is some really shitty lie your making.

AN:

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You know Raj from the Big Bang Theory? How he can't talk to women while sober?

Yeah, with Roxy it's like a genderflipped version of that.

Also the second panel is the 400th page. Woot.

EDIT 1: Forgot to close the color tag for Tavris in the second panel.

EDIT 2: John's "wait smell" line was written with "CEB" preceeding it instead of "JE."

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Jane and Jake have arived.

Next

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JH: Wy hello there john.
JE: hay.

MEMO:
CTT: You show all the typical forms of lying here.
CBE: Well ok now that we found John and all of us 8 know can we end this memo?
CGT: Wait!
CGT: Shuldnt your own dad know about this rescue?
CBE: He doesn't use pestershum.
CTT: So.
CTT: Lets discuz about Jane's magazines.
-- CGT closes memo --

> [II] Minits in the future...


Terezi had just begun with memoing.

> [II] ==>


The hell?

> [II] ==>


AR activated a LAZER BEEM, K.O.ing her.

(The explains the gibbrish in the memo. BUT ABOUT THE VRISKA HYJACKING?)

AN:

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I estimate that the Intermission Intermission is about half way over. It's not supposed to exceed about fourty to fifty panels.

And trust me, this is kind of important for the time. It helps establish some of the world outside of the Mario session, which we won't see until after IA3. IA3, by the way, might be about as long or even longer than IA2. Especially given how there's quite a lot of things IA2 never wrapped up. For instance, what's up with those five oddballs who were last seen in World 7's theater? And how, exactly, did the legendary 3X DATE COMBO with the trolls go?

EDIT1: Before I forget, I noticed that "Ohgodwhat" seems to be somewhat appropriate to SJAHJ's title screen, both the theme of the song and how the title pretty much matches with SJAHJ in general. Now if only I can figure out how to do something like Problem Sleuth's title screen and add a flashing "press start" button whist that plays in the background...

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Terezi wakes up about 4 minites later (and 13 seconds... DUN DUN DUN 413!), and PLASES THE BLAME!

Also Vriska and Tavros unfuse for now. Vriska joins on the memo to do that "h8 h8 h8" thing we saw.

show Blamelog:

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TP: YOU!
TP: 1 KN3W 1T W4X YOU!!
VS: What.
TP: ONC3 1 GOT ON TH1S SH1P, YOU S3NT 4 P41R OF L4Z3R SH4D3S 4T M3!!!!
TP: TH3Y NOCK3D M3 OUT!
VS: They wern't mine!!!!!!!!
TP: Y34H R1GHT!
TP: 1 KN3W TH4T YOU D1DNT W4NT M3 TO G3T ON TH1S SH1P, SO YOU S3NT 4 P41R OF S3NTRY SH4D3S 4FT3R M3!
TP: YOU W4NT3D TO S33 M3 G3T FR13D!
VS: The key word is wanted.
VS: I'm not 8ehind this, for once.
TN: wHAT WHERE YOU BEHIND?
TN: wEN was THE LAST TIME, yOU MADE A PLAN?
VS: Well, I...
VS: Uh...
VS: Ah, I once did the- no wait that was Nepeta.
VS: Uh...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: ...
VS: Fuck you Tavros.
VS: Nepeta's the one who orcast8es everything!!!!!!!!
VS: Why you think I'm 8ehind this.
TP: 1TS 4LW4YS TH3 P3RSON YOU L34ST 3XP3CT!
TP: S33???

> [II] ==>


Terezi uses KARKATE KICK on Vriska.

Show Owlog:

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TP: D1D 34TH3R OF YOU KN3W 1 KNOW K4R4T3???
TP: H1YA!
VS: Ow.
VS: Tavros, help me!
TN: hOW,,??
VS: K8ck her ass!!!!!!!!
TN: bUT SHE'S STRONGER,, THEN ME,,,,,
VS: She 8'nt as strong as 8oth of us, though!
TN: oH,,,
VS: 8ut w8!
VS: Get sum rope first.

> [II] ==>


Next

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JE: now what in the name of hell?
VS: Jesus fuck!!!!!!!!
TP: STOP H1TT1NG M3!!!!
TP: BOTH OF YOU! >:[
VS: Calm down Terezi!
VS: 8itch!
VS: Fuck!
VS: Tits!
VS: 8alls!
VS: Asscocks! Raw asscocks!!!!!!!!
TN: i NEVER KNEW,,,, yOU HAD,, tORRETS,,
VS: I don't.
VS: I'm just SO FUCKIN FRUSTR8ED!!!!!!!!

> [II] ==>


Jade and Karkat finlly get on the ship, but THEY ARE NOT HAPY.

Show WTFlog

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JH: now what in the nasme of fuck is going on here??
KV: NOTHING. THEY DO THINGS LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.
TP: UNT13 M3!!
TP: YOU DO KNOW YOU C4N G3T 1N HUG3 TROUBL3 FOR TH1S!!!
TP: TH1S 1S 1LL3G4L YOU KNOW
VS: I'm doing this for your own good.
VS: Ow! Jesus dick, stop 8itting me!
TN: sTOP BITTING ME TOO,
JH: hold up.
JH: i think you shuld all take a break from this littel battle here.
JH: don't fite, talk it out!
JE: jade?
JE: holy carp, this just got 10x better!
JE: I think they TRIED talkin it out.
JH: Yeah battling may be a troll thing to get things strait.
KV: IT KIND OF IS.
KV: IT'S BEST NOT TO GET INVOLVED.
KV: YOU COULD DIE.
JH: that's what the usa said about hitler!
JH: Dufe dont act like knowing that is such a big deal i told you that.
JH: Im the better history buff here!
JE: You are. <3
JH: well im gonna get them to be LESS VIOLENT, whatever the risk!
VS: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
VS: Water you gonna do, nuke us?
JH: not yet
VS: Nukes r just soooooooo lame and week compared to troll wepons.
TN: hOLD ON,,
TN: i THINK WE,,,, gOT THIS UNTER,,,,,,, cONTROL NOW,
TN: wE JUST NEEDED TO BIND TEREZI FOR A BIT,,
VS: Like putting a str8jacked on someone.

AN:

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By the way, that "h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8 h8" thing last post was supposed to be an evil laugh ("he he he he" or "hee hee hee hee"), not "hate hate hate."

Kind of a spoiler, but it isn't something that will really be revealed and is more of a "you're supposed to figure it out on your own" thing:

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Jade using commas, apostriphies, and periods in the last panel was intentional.

EDIT 1: Accidentally colored Vriska's text in Terezi's color during Vriska's "torretts" moment in the third panel.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] 16 MINITS LATER...


Vriska joins the memo posted a wile ago.

(Also Karkat was encorajing the derpkids not to bother with the troolls.)

Also ROWS and ROXS joins finally, endin the chain of race.

Next

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RL: Sup John.
JE: pthibbititbbpith...
JE: ROSE YOU KNOW I CAN'T TALK TO YOU WITHOUT-

> [II] ==>


Well shitfuck.

> [II] ==>


Next

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JH: say whehers dave?
RL: I don know.
RL: I tried pestering him but he wouldn't answer.
RL: Last I seen him, he went out in a BIGASS SHIP to try to rescue John.
RL: Hell thast's why Rozy and I went out.
RL: To look for him,.
RL: Becuz I was getting concorend.
RL: why you wanna know bitch?
RL: is it because... your thinking about ROMANSE with dave?
RL: ;)
JH: ...
JH: that would be retarded.
JH: im a lesbian, REMEBER????????
JH: thats why i read BOOBS and not POENIS like jane does!!
JE: Okay Jade, if I say I DO read penis,, will that finilly make you happy?
RL: Yeah amd besides Dave-
RL: DONT REMIND ME!
RL: :(

> [II] ==>


O SHOT.

DEAD. DEAD. (Vriska tecnically died first since Terezi's swipe went across from Vris to Tav so it's sorta irony that the "best troll" dies off early in this intermission's intermission. Then agan you CULD say that Vriska might have the possibility of lasting longer before dying after she got cut in haff, but I WANT TO KEEP THIS IRNORIC)

ALSO WAS YOU PAYING ATTENTION TO TERESI IN THE BACKGROUND OF THA LAST 3 PAGES?

AN:

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Aw yeah, I'm getting ready to wrap things up here. I really want this intermission to be over with as quickly as you do. By which I mean the Shipping Intermission, not the Mario Intermission.

But still, holy crap deaths are happening now! (Screw Brobot four updates ago in fact he doesn't even get his "DEAD" written in a font similar to the "DEAD"s in canon.)

Spoilers for the next few updates:

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Don't you think I'll only kill off everyone who was dead in canon. Nobody is safe in the Shipping Intermission. Shit just got dangerous.

In case it wasn't clear, there was a button on Terezi's cane that causes it to grow spikes.

I knew I drew Terezi's cane wrong while I was working on the fourth panel but eh fuck it. Let's just say she got a new and improved cane.

Also first shot of someone from behind!

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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I'd just like to remind everyone that just because I haven't used a command yet doesn't mean I forgot about it.

In this case, they won't be used until after the Intermission Intermission is over.

Also I re-read all of Intermission Act One (really readding it instead of skimming like I have before) and wow. I can't belive how careful and nitpickety I have gotten in plot and image editting, when before we had black screens being obviously erased over everything and general sillyness like an entire page being an incredibly lame play on "broke into"/"Barack Obama." And also the formatting abuse. IA1 (and hell, Act One) was the closest SJAHJ has been so far to being like SBAHJ.

> [II] ==>


Show WTFlog

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JE: bwaaaaah!!!!!! D:
JE: oh my gawd!!!!
JE: murdererer!!
JH: ew the dude's blood looks like shit.
JH: i meen reely the deaths are sad but broun blood?? the fuck?
KV: TEREZI WHAT THE FUCK.
TP: WH4T
TP: 1 W4S K1LL1NG SOM3 FUG1T1V3S
KV: YOU NEVER PROOVED THAT THEY WERE THE ONES WHO USED THE SHADES!

> [II] ==>


You are now Dave.

And there we go.

Those fucking glasses.

You're still not going to open fire on them -- not knowing about you-know-who and you-know-who getting murdered because of a misunderstanding involving them after all -- but you will launch a net around him. You then plan on taking him to your ship and imprisoning him there until Dirk gets his robot obsessed ass over here and does something with the AR's program.

> [II] ==>


A LOVE SICK COUPLE gets in your aim's way. The guy is trapped in your net. The girl lets out a few "oh noez" and things like that.

But it's just a net. It's not like he'll die or anything.

(By the way, the goat's swimming, not flying.)

> [II] ==>


The force of your net causes the indigo blooded troll to fall off.

> [II] ==>


Fuck.

Seriously. This ocean must be infested with sharks. It's like, if a ship sinks, you might as well be dead. You wonder how exactly Aradia survived until Gamzee came. Or how their sea goat hasn't been mauled already. Or at least you would, if you knew that Aradia was sinking in the first place. Which you didn't.

> [II] ==>


Double fuck.

Show Dialoglog:

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AM: magmaargh!

AN:

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Yes I know that Gamzee's blood is considered "purple" in coloUrs and Mayhem, and if that flash near the beginning of A6A3 is any indication these are the canon terms for the colors as well. But I just don't really care, and I have been using "old terms" for a while (EG Cerulean and maroon, but both instances where only used to reffer to swapped Nepetas)

Also 3/12(13? 24? 26?) TROLLS DEAD. 3/20(21? 30? 32?) KIDS+TROLLS DEAD. Questionmarks added because of the limeblood and her good twin.

The trolls who were the A1 trolls in canon are the "good" twins, A2 trolls are the "evil" twins.

EDIT: Wow 420th page and it was right after Gamzee's death. Just... wow.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


She climbs up your massive ship.

Show Dialoglog:

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AM: HOW CULD YOU KILL OFF MAH HUSBANFU!
DS: shit it was a mistake
DS: i meant to shoot at these flying shades
DS: you see-
AM: no!
AM: im going to kill you!
AM: with the power of TEH SPIRITIS!

> [II] ==>


You have no idea what the fuck is going on here.

But you sure as hell don't like it.

> [II] ==>


Fuck, lets be john agan.

This is loking pretty... BAD. But someon else has came in another, albit reely small, ship.

Next

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KM: Sup Bitches
JE: um... hi.
KM: Hello Ther Human You Look A Little Distresset
JE: o well...
JE: theers a huge murder thing goin on and two trolls just got cut in haff.
JE: it's kind of scary.
KM: O Shit
KM: Say Hold On
KM: Wat Color Was There Bloods
JE: brownish and bluish
KM: Youre Gonna Have To Be More Specific
KM: Was It Like A Red Brwn Or An Orange Brown Or A Yellow Brown
KV: ITS TAVROS AND VRISKA, KANAYA.
JE: holy fuck yo know her?
KM: I Beleeve The Questpion Here Is HOLY FUCK VRSIAK AND TAVROS ARE DED

> [II] ==>


Next

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KM: Well It Finlly Hapened
KM: Tavreos Snapped And Cut Vrika In Half
KM: And Vriska Must Have Cut Tavros Too Out Of Self Definse Or Something
TP: 4CTU4LLY K4N4Y4 1 JUST CUT TH3M BOTH 1N H4LF
TP: CUZ TH3Y W3R3 UP TO NO GOOD
KM: Wait
KM: Tavros Was Planing Something Asswell
KV: NO HE WASN'T.
KV: AND NO VRISKA WASN'T. TEREZI WAS JUST BEING CRAZY.
JE: dam we reely have some crazy bitches here.
JE: but this trol, you, kanaya your name is?
KM: Yes
JE: you seem prety nice, what with liking eene tme too..
TP: 4CTU4LLY TH3Y W3W3 PL4NN1NG SOM3TH1NG
KV: NO THEY WERN'T.
TP: Y3S TH3Y W3R3
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y3S
KV: NO.
TP: Y333333S
JE: this is getting stupid.

AN:

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Welp. I just realised that Eridan, Equius, Sollux, and up until now Kanaya are the last trolls that will be seen. Again. The only difference is that Feferi has yet to appear in this intermission. Although since I want to make this end by Monday, it won't be long until we see the last four.

EDIT1: Forgot a colon after Kanaya's tag when she asks what color the dead trolls' blood was.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Dave gos on the SS Sprite after HIS bigass ship catches up to Tavris's.

Show Yelllog

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DS: HELP ME!
JH: the fuck?
JE: hi dave.
DS: ok this may sound weird
DS: especially to you john since you hardly know about trolls
DS: even though your own sister knows a few of them
DS: like that gray one right there
DS: so
DS: this one troll with a sign that looks like the aries symbol
DS: she has an army of troll ghosts after me
DS: one of them is the ghost of her lover
DS: and wait shit i think the other two are the ghosts of those two bodies that were cut in half
DS: what the hell happened here?

KV: HAY TEREZI.
KV: LOOK OUT INTO THE SEA.
KV: I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHIG.
KV: LET ME TELL YOU.
KV: ABOUT THE FAIRYBULLS.

> [II] ==>


Next

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JE: sum big murder mistery.
JE: yada yada yada.

KV: REMMEBR THE STORY YOU ONCE TOLD ME?
KV: ABOUT US LIVING TOGETHER ON A EARTH FARM TOGETHER?
KV: TENDING FAIRYBULLS?
KV: I'D JUST LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THAT AND THE RECENT EVENTS.
KV: YOU SEE,
KV: I NEVER THOT THAT THIS WOULD NOT REALY BE A POSSIBILITY.
KV: EXCEPT NOW I THINK OTHERWISE.
KV: I'M GOING TO HAVE TO BE BLUNT, TEREZI.
TP: 4ND 1LL H4V3 TO B3 BLUNT TOO
TP: YOU S33

> [II] ==>


Next

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TP: 1 R34D TH4T BOOK
TP: N3P3T4 SHOW3D 1T TO M3 H4LF 4 SW33P 4GO
TP: SO YOU C4NT FOOL M3
KM: Huh So Thats What Color His Blood Is
JE: ewait really? your bff dies and that's all you can say?
KM: No
KM: I Also Have To Say This
KM: Terezi
TP: WH4T?

> [II] ==>


Next

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KM: Its On Bitch

AN:

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Another dentist appointment today, but unlike before I got more than two pages in.

Regarding Terezi and Karkat's conversation and that book Nepeta gave Terezi: "THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE"

I might ret con the second image. Karkat was supposed to be holding his sickle and moving it towards Terezi, making the reffrence a little more obvious. EDIT: I did. (jva0R -> 7ThCo)

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


A clowd of POYSON GASS surrounds Terezi,.

> [II] ==>


The gas is flammible.

Next

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ES: hAy
ES: kARAT MAY BE MY KISMESIs bUT BY NO MEENS SHULD YOU KILL HIm

> [II] ==>


O great. Not... her!

Next

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ES: HellO
KM: How Did You Get Here
ES: I fleW
ES: With my fire powerS
KM: Ok

> [II] ==>


Next

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DS: hey
DS: while youre all having fun killing eachother
DS: i would like to remind everyone that im about to die
JE: oh. um...
KM: Aradia I Kindly Ask To Stop Manipulating The Dead To Kill This Guy
KM: NOW.
AM: no
KM: Well Then
KM: I Guess Yourr Fucked Mr Reddy Mc Coolshades
KM: Hold On Ar You The Author Of Ms Paint Adventures
DS: yes
DS: but nows not the time for autographs
DS: these ghosts can kill me at any second
DS: and the more people you all kill off the worse it gets
DS: so stop adding on to the ghost pile
DS: it keeps getting taller
RL: Hold on.
RL: I think we should talk this out first.

JH: psst
JH: john
JH: i think you shuld come with me
JE: wshy?
JH: sh! keep it down!
JH: i dont like all these battles ands deaths!
JH: come over to my ship
JH: i think i hav something that can help end this faster
JE: what is it?
JE: is it a bigass pile of your boobs issues?
JE: youer like gonna bribe everybody with porn?
JE: *softcore porn. no sex. just naked people.
JH: no
JH: its reely more of a threat
JE: o god.
JH: it will end this "war" by YEERS and save millions of lives
JE: wait wait rose and that red blood r sort of talking it out!
JH: i dont trust the redblood
JH: but i DO trust what i have in my ship
JH: trust me, once you see it, you will too.
JE: ._.

AN:

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You can continue giving commands, everyone. Just because IA2 got a little railroady sometimes does not mean that this intermission should. In fact, that's part of the reason why I decided to have this (outside from a crapton of foreshadowing); to have something that is a little more readon influenced. Except that I have already decided what Jade wants to show John. Let's just say that I've foreshadowed it.

HOLY SHIT I almost made Karkat say Kanaya's lines in the last panel and had him be the (alive) troll in the back in the image. Even though I had him get cut in half yesterday.

4/13 (26?) TROLLS KILLED. Yes, Aradia is still haunting Dave with the ghosts of Vriska, Tavros, and Gamzee.

EDIT1: Added colon for John's "i dont like all these battles ands deaths!" line.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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I found a color thing whilst browsing Tumblr and decided to enter Jade's text color.

"Description (Beta): Moderate Harlequin"

What in the name of...

> [II] ==>


Too late. The GOSTLY CONTROLED KARKAT fires BRIGHT RED BLOD LAZERS at Dave.

Next

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JH: see john??
JH: look, now dav'es dead!
JE: omg not dave!!! OnO
JE: i love him!!!!!
JE: in a platonik way.
JH: you sure its only platonic?
JH: ;)
JE: gwah! yes!!!!!!!
JH: so.
JH: let me show you somegthing before anyone else dies

> [II] ==>


Rose gets pissed at Dave's deth and jumps towaerds Aradia.

> [II] ==>


Aradia DEAD.

(She got stabbed in the chest with rose's needels)

> [II] ==>


Rose DEAD.

Holy fuck is that Sollux?

Next

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SC: hay.
SC: dont you be fuckiing wiith aa.

JH: see john??
JH: more and mopre of the peopl are getting killed!!!!!!
JH: so come with me
JH: and well all resolve it
JE: ok, ok.
JE: let's see what you cgot.
JH: o beleeve me, it's one hell of a secret wepon.

AN:

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THE SHIPPING INTERMISSION IS ALMOST OVER!

Death List up to the End of this Update:

"Good Twin" Kids (B1 in canon): Rose, Dave

"Evil Twin" Kids (B2 in canon): None

"Good Twin" Trolls (A1 in canon): None (I'll only show Arenea and Meenah unless there's an update before this intermission nears its end showing all 12 pre-scratch trolls. Also, their sprites will be editted so that they look alive)

"Evil Twin" Trolls (B2 in canon) -- Lowbloods & Mutaint: Aradia, Tavros, Karkat

"Evil Twin" Trolls -- Midbloods: Terezi, Vriska

"Evil Twin" Trolls -- Highbloods: Gamzee

Total: 8. Vriska would or would not be proud.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Yep. Its Solux.

Next

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SC: dufe aa ii2 cool.
SC: dont be kiilliing her.
FP: )(AY!!!!!!
FP: T)(ere s)(ouldn't be ANY culling in )(ere!!
EA: o really
FP: -Eridan?
SC: oh fuck iit all two hell.

> [II] ==>


Meenwile, John and Jade steal Kanaya's ship and start moving it off to Jade's ship. BECUZ JADE WAS CARELESS AND HER SHIP STARTED DRIFTING AWAY FROM THE SS SPRITE!

Kanaya seems a littel bothered by this. Brothered by you steeling her ship.

Also Eridan it turns out was still climing to get on here.

Next

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JE: so what is it?
JH: you wont beleeve me
JH: trust me

MEENWILE:
EA: bitch wwe stil havvent settled somethin
EA: our pronmise about NOT DATING OUR GFs
SC: ff ii2 only your morail.
FP: Y---EA)(!

> [II] ==>


You make it on the ship. (BTW your now John)

A wild Equius stands in yor way, completeing the cast. (Except the trolls good twins but fuck them)

Next

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EZ: D --> who are you
JE: iu beleeve the question shuld be who are YOU?
EZ: D --> i just found this ship and thot it 100ked like a nice place to stay
EZ: D --> after all i was trapped on a iland
JE: yeah.... so wsa i.
JH: hay mister, this ship is mine
JH: well in truth i just sort of found it
EZ: D --> oh
EZ: D --> well then can i say here?
JE: yeah.
JE: shits gettting violent over on that ship.
EZ: D --> say
EZ: D --> have eether of you seen a red b1000d wioth a ram 100king sign?
JE: oh um...
JE: aradia, i think her name was?
EZ: D --> yes
JE: she's dead.

> [II] ==>


Next

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EZ: D --> WHAT?
JE: yeah she got kiled by this girl rose.
JE: because she kiled this guy dave.
JE: but rose got kiled by this yelow blooded trol in 3d clases.
JE: so is it ok now?
EZ: D --> fuck no
JH: john i think we should leeve this guy
JH: he ;looks like hes going to punch the fuck outta us any second :(
JE: yeah ok.
EZ: D --> where is this ship
JE: over...
JE: there.
JE: we took another ship from another troll to get here.
JE: its that eene tme ship.
EZ: D --> eene tme?
JE: ed, edd n eddy: the mis-edventures
JE: three heroes! loeved by millions! ready for adventure! join ed, edd n eddy on their mis-EDventures! in this tag team adventure game, switch eds on the fly to take advantage of their unique abiulities. you'll encounter all of your favorite characters from the show as you mske your way thruogh the cul-de-sack, scamming the neighborhood kids! collect jawbreakers and coins to unlock BONIS CONTINENT. collect objects in high places wiht the "tramp-edd." stay out of sight or extend your reech in the "tower-of-eddy." use the "batter-ed" to break through obstacles!
JH: haha wow
EZ: D --> um ok i see the ship
EZ: D --> ill jjust... walk over there and...
JE: six scams to play thru, with two unlockable bonus scams filled with fast action! original voice acting dune by the cast themselfs! a 3d artstyle that highly rresembels ed edd ne ddy! featuring music directly from the show! all of your favoritse characters get to appear here! a fully detailed cul-de-sac hub area!
JH: nerd :P
JE: fuck you jade. :P
JE: go back to watching that tenticel hentai you always watch.
JH: bitch theres no hantai in squiddels
JE: i was talking about the simpsons.
JH: john you no i dont realy watch that show!!!
JH: i only see it to look at marge simpson's HOT YELLOW ASS.
JE: D:
JE: hay where the hell did that troll guy go?
JH: i dont know, i don't care.
JH: but were almost at what i wanna show you!

AN:

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The stuff I blue-boxed out in the third panel were docks and harbors and stuff, since this is supposed to take place out in the middle of the sea. EENE: TME ship isn't an actual copy of the game, it's a small ship that looks like a copy of the game.

I find it funny how almost every little arc I make ends up being longer than Intermission Act 1. I mean, IA1 was rushed as fuck. There were very little instances where a single chain of actions took up more than one page. I mean, if I were to do IA1 now I'd probably add little panels such as John and Jade actually breaking into Hank's house, entering the portal, etc.

SHITS ABOUT TO HAPPEN NEXT UPDATE! We'll finally see what Jade is talking about!

EDIT1: I mapped it out on Wikipedia's Sandbox (by the way it's quite spoilerific so I'd advice not to check it until the Intermission Intermission, hell Intermission Act 3 just to be safe, is over) and this intermission will only have about 18 pages left to it. I can get that out in four posts, if I make one of those posts a six panel update instead of a four panel update. (Though it could only be a five panel update, given that I've drafted the opening to Intermission Act Three, it relies heavily on commands for the first part, and for that update I've integrated the end of the Shipping Intermission in with it.) This is almost over, everyone!

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Show HOLY FUCKlog:

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JE: HOLY FUCK!
JE: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
JE: NO NUKES!
JH: jesus dick jon, get a hold of yourself.
JH: im not reely gonna nuke them!!!!
JH: im just going to act a little BOLD and say "hay fuckers stop kiling eachother and our frends or else ill blow you all to bits"
JE: o.
JE: but that still doesn't feel much better!
JE: i mean jesus jade, this is pretty serious!
JH: well just think of it like in world war ii
JH: except wer not reely nuking them
JE: ...
JE: you know that didn't really make much sence.
JE: why did the us build these things when the trolls had had much advanced wepons?
JH: shit i don't know. bitches be crazy.

> [II] ==>


The Eridan and Sollux is dueling.

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EA: ok bitch wwhat you got?
EA: i havve a fuckin gun
SC: ii don't want to kiill you but iif iit wiill 2hut you up then fiine.
FP: No wait! Dont!
FP: KILLING OVER LOV---E IS FUCKING STUPID!!!!!!!!

> [II] ==>


Man Feferi isnt cool she shulda slaped eridan to preotect her man like a reel woman should insted of acting as a "prize" and letting him die.

Then agan theres ben a lot of deaths latley and I guess Feferi was acting a littel more morbid then usual?

Anyway Sollxu DEAD.

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JH: OK THAT'S IT!!!!!!!!!!!

> [II] ==>


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JH: if ONE more person deis here, ill take off with john, jake, and jane, and nuke your assess to hell!!
JH: SO STOP KILING EACHOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
JE: um... YEAH WHAT SHE SAID!
ES: Oh shit nO
KM: Woah Fuck
EA: o shit your bluffin right?
FP: O God no no no no NO!!!!
FP: Well be GOOD!!
FP: I PROMISSS--------------------E!!!!!!!
JE: Jeez don't you think thats a little overkill?
JE: psst psst were only bluffing.
RL: hay wait what about me??
JE: Hay I thought you grabbed non-alcolohic wine when you and Rose went out so now you culdn't talk to guys?
JE: It's what got you to shut up about my Penis stash.
JE: THAT I DO NOT HAVE BY THA WAY.
RL: yeah but wen your fased with deth its sort of different
JH: im sorry roxy but well might have to nuke you as well!!!!
JH: i dont think we can all fit on the escape ship (the eene tme ship) to the yelow ship!!
JH: Holy fuck.
JH: I meen itsnt this a little extreme?
JE: psst psst it's only a bluf.
EA: ok ok ok
EA: there wwill be NO deaths on heer anymore
EA: i am a changed troll
FP: You knwo t)(at would )(ave ben more convincing if you didn't say t)(at rig)(t after killing my BF.
FP: Say can we make an exception to kill this guy?
JH: um...

AN:

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13 PAGES LEFT! (I'm not counting the EOA curtain. By the way, for those who checked the Wikipedia sandbox entry, I might not be giving the ending the same series of filenames. I only file name number updates that are of a related subject.)

EDIT1: Wow for a short time I posted the first panel on the mirror before I submitted the forum post.

[BenBen]

I have given up following this intermission. Call me when the Mario intermission is back. Or maybe just when we're on the actual story that was going to happen before we intermissioned right at the start.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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This might be for the mirror only, but after the Intermission Intermission (or hell, it could even start today if I feel like it, but after the II at the latest), I will be running the rest of Intermission Act One through Bad Translator. From this page (which will have a "[BT]" tag added, but the panel on the forums will not since in here it isn't a series), an option will be given using the branch function to continue reading the bad translator'd version of IA1. While the source page numbers will be kind of fucked up (in the list, it will alternate between four "[II]" or "[I]" tagged pages and four "[BT]" tagged pages), but if I play it right, then for readers it will be a linear flow.

> [II] ==>


Equius gets on the ship and punches Eridan's head off. It flies almost striat up but also at an angle so yeah.

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EZ: D --> there you are
KM: Fuck The What
EZ: D --> nepeta saw the whole thing and contacted me
EZ: D --> so aradia killed the author of coolstuck dave
EZ: D --> thats a%eptable
EZ: D --> but then this girl rose killed her
EZ: D --> ok from here on ill just use "good" or "bad"
JE: um please don't dude you sownd creepy when you do.
EZ: D --> then sollux killed rose and it was "good" agan
EZ: D --> but now that eridan had murdered sollux aradia's death has been re-unavenged
EZ: D --> its comple%
FP: Yournot going to NUK----E us just because -Eridan died right?
JH: well...
JH: eridan was a kiler so its furking cool

> [II] ==>


Eridan's head falls on the "LUNCH" buttin of the nuke, pushing it.

Show Fucking

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ES: FucK
JH: fuck!!!!
JH: FUCK!!!!
KM: Fuck
JE: FUCK!!!!
JE: fuck!
EZ: D --> fuck
RL: fuck
FP: FUCK!!!!

> [II] ==>


The NUKE is in the AIR.

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JH: guys, funny story.
JH: you see.....
JH: i was not acually gonna nuke you fuckers
JH: it was just a way to stop tyou from killing us and are friends!!
JH: ha ha ha...

> [II] ==>


Dirk gets on too, using AR as his ship. (HE WAS AT HOME AND THEN THE AR WENT THERE AND BACK OK?)

Show Dirklog:

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DS: Hay.
DS: Did I miss anything?
JE: dirk run get out of here as fast as you can!!!!! :(

AN:

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9 PAGES LEFT!

Also yes, Dirk owns two pairs of shades. One with little rocket jets.

I have given up following this intermission. Call me when the Mario intermission is back. Or maybe just when we're on the actual story that was going to happen before we intermissioned right at the start.

Actually I can understand skipping the II but if you skip the Mario Intermission, Act Two will make no sense whatsoever. Even by SJAHJ standards. Just trust me on this.

EDIT1: Forgot to add Jake and Jane during the portion where everyone says "Fuck."

EDIT2: Swapped Feferi and Roxy's colors in the same portion. As well as Jade and Jake's. (For the latter, I have a general rule to put the lighter color first if they have similar hues.)

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Welp. Living was pretty nice while they all had it.

> [II] ==>


BOOM.

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD.

Also Autoresponder DEAD. but screw hi,.

> [II] ==>


Alos these guys were there (THE OTHER GOOD TWIN TROLLS WAS THEREE, INCLUDING ELITAA'S GOOD TWIN WHO I WAS TOO LAZY TO DRAW YET, BUT HUSSIE UPDATES 2 SLOW TO ACTUALLY GET TO FUCKING SHOWING THEM SO I'M ONLY SHOWING THE SAME DAMN 2 HE ALWAYS HAVES).

> [II] ==>


It turns out there were in the blast radius so they all get killed.

DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD. DEAD.

AN:

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5 PAGES LEFT!

Next update will be the end of the Intermission Intermission. (As for what the fucking hell those five pages could be about with almost everyone dead, you'll see. It will also explain what this intermission is.)

Also, for once, an update with no dialog. This may or may not be the first time this has happened; I'm too lazy to go back and check.

Speaking of dialoglogs, Fun Fact: [I] Link Strider: Enter. was the first page to have a dialoglog between more then two people on a single page.

Maniped the live Aranea and Meenah sprites myself. Yeah, I know their eyes look kind of shitty, but I don't nearly put as much time into images as I do into Onionstuck.

I don't like how the A1 trolls have the exact same color as the A2 trolls yet the B1 and B2 kids do not. So I went through the painstaking task of finding the hues that are between each of the troll's text colors. To be more specific, all of them barring Nepeta's, whom I only replaced the red portion with zero (fun fact that I'm sure any RPers already knew: "green" bloods have a tinge of red to them, so there's no such thing as pure green blooded trolls), and Vriska, since she's off the pattern a little, are 10 hues to the right. Also A1 Sufferer ditches the anonimity so that him and his brother (Wait wait how can trolls live with siblings? We'll get to that) have different colors. That or I could use a different shade of gray....

(It was a pain because due to a problem with my computer that I can fix, but have never gotten around to, makes me unable to open the calculator accessory. Also paint doesn't do hex, and I don't know what the troll blood colors are in decimal. So I basically had to convert, move the hue, then convert back. For twelve colors.

EDIT1: I'd like to clairify that the statement about Hussie isn't actually a complaint about Homestuck. The pacing is fine the way it is.

EDIT2: Forgot Feferi in the first mass "DEAD." list.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

> [II] ==>


Nepeta sees this mass killing/deaths and sheds a teer of shipping liquid sorrow at the fact that her thoughts about pairings are SUNK/JOSSED.

She shoulda done more. She now sweards that from now on, she'll try to insert herself in events as much as possible to control them.

> [II] ==>


Too bad she was ALSO in the blast radius.

DEAD.

> [II] ???


The fuckhell?

Show ???log:

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?: WELL?

> [II] ==>


Is that... SPONGBOB SQUAREPANTS?

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SB?: WAT Do YoU THINK oF MY FAN FICToN, WHITE TEXT ASSHoLE?

> [II] ==>


Next

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?: Desent.
?: There was a few things you nailed about the chracaters.
?: Jane having owning penis.
?: Roxy being all Dave/Jade and I presume John/Rose.
?: And the connections made thto the ancestors was kinda swag to see.
?: But either you got some things inacurate or you just neglected to mention them.
SB?: GooD.
SB?: I'LL SEND THIS To JoHN AND SEE WHAT HE THINKS.

> END OF INTERMISSION INTERMOISSION.


ITS ABOUT FUCKING TIEM!

AN:

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You know, the area that Spongebob(?) and WTG were supposed to be at was originally going to be a meteor, but I changed it today while thinking about this during school. I won't tell you where they are now, but I'm pretty sure this will be more interesting than my original idea.

Also IA3 will start tomorrow. For reals. There won't be a fakeout like with this Intermission.

There's 16 images of the fire in the second panel, by the way.

To clairify: This entire intermission up to the "WELL?" panel was just a fan fiction written by Spongebob(?)

And yes, this will be answered during IA3. A lot will be answered in IA3. But for now, we'll start off small...

Fuck, let's be John and Jade. The real John and Jade, not Spongebob(?)'s shitty interpretations of them.

EDIT1: Adding period to "END OF INTERMISSION INTERMISSION."

EDIT2: Just saying that yeah, I started on BTing IA1.

EDIT3: WHOOPS I ACCIDENTALLY USED THE WRONG INITIALS FOR WHITE TEXT GUY WE'RE STILL NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW HIM YET.

[Great Pikmin Fan]

AN:

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Moving the BT version of IA1 from mirror only to forum only, since in the mirror it messes up the page numbers. I've changed the four latest pages, which were the next four pages after A1's beginning, into the first four out of five pages in this update, which explains why the page list will list these first four pages as being added yesterday even though I wrote them today.

Also Look at what I made yesterday.

By the way, "Close this shit" became "This is the reason why." in both times running it through. (I guess that random order sets what order it will always be in? Or if you put in the same phrase without reloading the page, it will use the same order?)

> [I] ==>


Show GameFAQslog:

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MARIO (BETA VERSION 6.7) WALKTHROUGH VERSION 0.1

By Great Pikmin Fan, AKA GPFeh.

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. Introduction (Not counting this; although technically it does in a way)
2. Immersion Factor (I guess this counts as controls?)
3. Walkthough
3.1. World 1
3.2. World 2
3.3. World 3
3.4. World 4
3.5. World 5
3.6. World 6
3.7. World 7
3.8. World 8

[...]

2. Immersion Factor

Entering this game transports the house of the person living in it into the Mario World (which is really inside your consol), at the beginning of World 1-1. Here, you don an outfit of Mario, Luigi, a third or fourth bro (forgot their names), or evil versions of the previous (Wario, Waluigi, etc). Hidden within your house it an emergency "warp zone" area that does not act like a typical warp zone. Instead, you are flung to the far edges of the Mario Space just at the barriers of the location before you do a "hard leave" of the Mario space and exit through your computer. This seems to be a developer's sort of way to have a quick access to all eight worlds. After a long distance from the edge to closeby where the eight planets are, there is a panel that allows you to select said worlds.

Also, there is a pre-generated HUB area in a ninth planet that you can go to, called Toad Town. (I guess it's a reffrence to Paper Mario?) I've read that the sole public release of the 6.16 version used Troll Town, Texas as a placeholder for Toad Town and as a test for transporting large and distant areas into the game. In case you're wondering, this said release went to gardenGnostic and ectoBiologist, two people semi-famous on the web for their abridged series of the Ed, Edd n Eddy: The Mis-Edventures cutscenes. GG even has an account on this very site; EB, however, is only a few months younger than thirteen as of this writting, so he can't join yet. Oddly, Toad Town can't be accessed from the World Select.

All damage is simulated. You cannot feel real pain in this, and any killed enemies just sort of poof away like in the 3D Mario games. V6.16 averts this by attempting to make the enemies and such "real" to the point where they bleed and have spirits and such. And they succeeded. I am aware that that version number bears what some to belive is the number of the beast (only divided by 100), and this is no coincidence. It's really some sort of in-joke. The developers are all like "Hey let's name this version where you have a chance of dieing '616' or something along those lines." I bet Jade and John (that's GG and EB, respectivley, by the way, in case you haven't checked out their sharred Youtube channel) would be uneased if they found out about that.

So, on to the game!

[...]

> [I] ==>


The fuck? You cant reely make out heads or tails of this thing.

You don't know who this guy is, but you sometims wish he just gets to the fucking point.

You won't bother reeding TA's walkthrough even thou he's the designer. Becuz really, troll quirks are a pain in the ass to desiffer.

> INTERMISHON ACT THREE.


You arte now JEAN EGBERT.

Or, since we're still playing the Maro game, MARIA EGBERT.

> [I] =-=>


You are sad becuz you have your sister Jane's FREEKISHLY LARGE BOOBS. (Not litlerly it's kinda like the saying "you have yur mum's eyes.) Your back kinda hurts.

You basicaly have all the memorys of John up until the point where he finished drinking the gatorade. You have completee knowledge of the INWARD JORNEY ROOMS, except for what's at the exit. You know that the door to the left leads to John's room. Even if you wernt created with this room knowledge (it works sort of like sprites from Homestuck), you would know that because you can hear him snoring from behnd the door and YOU THINK YOU CAN RECOGNIZE YOUR OWN VOICE EVEN IF IT SNORRS. You also know that Jades' room is right next to John's room. The door to your right leeds to a place where you can enter the room that Jade's MALE SELF will be created in (You don't know IF he's been created but you don't think so cuz you know that JADE FUCKING HATES GATORADE.), and from there you can go to Jade's room.

On the otherside of John's room is the room that Jane mght go into if she wants to take her inward jorney. The floor door in John's room, as well as one in Jane's room, leeds to a BASEMENT AREA. Jade's room, and Jake's, has AIR VENTS that go to MORE PLACES. But your still trapped. By what, you don't know.

Both the doors are unlocked. Unlike John's room, there is no floor door.

> [I] =-=>


Ok you know what Imma just give you a map.

So. What will you do?

AN:

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Yeah that was a bit of self deprecation at the beginning there.

BT:

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> Exhibition


Mario is very adapted to the community.

How?

> [I] ME and LH: Collection of Windows Gold



Bar

To participate in many international dialogue about money

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Luyij, Aigebot, Harley and small
ME: ME: get old?
LH: LH: and captchalogu
ME: female shit

[From this point on (I say it that way because A1 didn't follow the latter part of the rule), character prefixes to both commands and dialoglogs will not be translated. Also characters will be requirked, (with the exception of mid-line commas and periods) and those with replacement gimmicks, for future reffrence in case I ever go past IA1, will be de-quirked before getting translated. -- GPF.]

> [I] ==>


This army in good?

> [I] =At the end of=>


To participate in many international dialogue about money

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HH: Children without bwah

EDIT1: Forgot a subtle detail. So much of a subtle detail that I've put it in a spoiler:

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Changed the "==>"s after the IA3 announcement to "=-=>"s

[Mibbs]

this is pretty much impossible to follow and completely incomprehensible. No one is even suggesting. I will straight up risk an infraction to tell you that this is worst adventure i've ever seen.

[BenBen]

this is pretty much impossible to follow and completely incomprehensible. No one is even suggesting. I will straight up risk an infraction to tell you that this is best adventure i've ever seen.

FTFY

Go through the door that leads to the back hall.