Waiting for Dexlyn

[Daniel990]

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock. Tick.

[Kíeros]

_^·_
And that right there is an up-dot. You can stop waiting now.

[Descriptor]

What's updot?



Wait, that doesn't work...

[Wiwaxia]

... I see what you did there.

[Ikkl]

I entered this thread looking for long-winded monologues. It would seem that I was being a bit unreasonable to expect such devotion to parody based on the title of a forum thread.

[kraine]

I will comply.

:y ..WHAT IS UPDOG?

[Kíeros]

I will comply.

:y ..WHAT IS UPDOG?

Updog is a fictional word invented in the hopes of getting people to go and say "What's updog?". This sincere question has similarities to the phrase "What's up, dog?", an indication of inquiry into the activities of a person. As such, it is a popular word to use in the trolling of other people, both in real life and online, though it does work better in life due to the fact of only being able to hear the resultant answer.

[DecidedlyDevious]

I thought it was a yoga position...

[Descriptor]

Updog is a fictional word invented in the hopes of getting people to go and say "What's updog?". This sincere question has similarities to the phrase "What's up, dog?", an indication of inquiry into the activities of a person. As such, it is a popular word to use in the trolling of other people, both in real life and online, though it does work better in life due to the fact of only being able to hear the resultant answer.

You forgot to mention the similar variation "updoc" which refers to the phrase "What's up, doc?" as popularized by the classic Loony Toons character Bugs Bunny.
In my travels, I have often found this to be the more common variant.

[AProcrastinatingWriter]

I love you all.

[shinyjiggly]

Well, I'll leave you guys to your waiting. I got things to do and buildings to burn!

(I thought that updog was another one of those misspellings of update or something. I'm slightly disappointed that the word isn't actually supposed to mean anything.)

[Daniel990]

This thread has been renamed in the best way possible.

[Zaiger]

And Bugs Bunny is waiting for UpDoc, I suppose

[Kíeros]

Waiting for Updog
tragicomedy in 2 acts

By
Samuel Beckett and Andrew Hussie

Esrever
Vladrillgorg
Lurker
Psolaris
a boy

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ACT I
A country room. A desk.
Evening.

Esrever, sitting on a chair in front of the desk, is trying to plug in the computer. He reaches behind the desk with his full arm, panting.
He gives up, exhausted, rests, tries again.
As before.
Enter Vladrillgorg.
ESREVER: (giving up again). Nothing to be done.
VLADRILLGORG: (advancing with short, stiff strides, legs wide apart) I'm beginning to come round to that opinion. All my life I've tried to put it from me, saying Vladrillgorg, be reasonable, you haven't yet tried everything. And I resumed the struggle. (He broods, musing on the struggle. Turning to Estragon.) So there you are again.
ESREVER: Am I?
VLADRILLGORG: I’m glad to see you back. I thought you were gone forever.
ESREVER: Me too.
VLADRILLGORG: Together again at last! We'll have to celebrate this. But how? (He reflects.) Get up till I embrace you.
ESREVER: (irritably) Not now, not now.
VLADRILLGORG: hurt, coldly) May one inquire where His Highness spent the night?
ESREVER: In a ditch.
VLADRILLGORG: (admiringly) A ditch! Where?
ESREVER: (without gesture) Over there.
VLADRILLGORG: And they didn’t beat you?
ESREVER: Beat me? Certainly they beat me.
VLADRILLGORG: The same lot as usual?
ESREVER: The same? I don’t know.
VLADRILLGORG: When I think of it… all these years… but for me… where would you be… (Decisively) You’d be nothing more than a little heap of bones at the present minute, no doubt about it.
ESREVER: And what of it?
VLADRILLGORG: (gloomily) It’s too much for one fan. (Pause. Cheerfully) On the other hand what’s the good of losing heart now, that’s what I say. We should of thought of it a million years ago, during Problem Sleuth.
ESREVER: Ah stop blathering and help me plug in this bloody thing.
VLADRILLGORG: Hand in hand from the top of Jade’s laboratory, among the first. We were respectable in those days. Now it’s too late. He wouldn’t even let us look inside. (Esrever tears at the plug) What are you doing?
ESREVER: Plugging in my computer. Did that never happen to you?
VLADRILLGORG: Homestuck must be checked every day, I’m tired telling you that. Why don’t you listen to me?
ESREVER: (feebly) Help me!
VLADRILLGORG: It’s updated?
ESREVER: (angrily) Updated! He wants to know if it has updated!
VLADRILLGORG: (angrily) No one ever constantly updates but you. I don’t count. I’d like to hear what you’d say if you did what I did.
ESREVER: It updated?
VLADRILLGORG: (angrily) Updated! He wants to know if it has updated!
ESREVER: (pointing) You might tie that all the same.
VLADRILLGORG: (stooping) True. (He ties his shoes) Never neglect the little things of life.
ESREVER: What do you expect, you always wait until the last moment.
VLADRILLGORG: (musingly) The last moment… (He mediates) Hope deferred maketh the something sick, who said that?
ESREVER: Why don’t you help me?
VLADRILLGORG: Sometimes I feel it coming all the same. Then I go all queer. (He takes out his smart phone, turns it on, pushes some buttons, shakes it, puts it away again) How shall I say? Relieved and at the same time . . . (he searches for the word) . . . appalled. (With emphasis.) AP-PALLED. (He takes out his phone again, pushes buttons on it.) Funny. (He knocks on the cover as though to dislodge a foreign body, looks into it again, puts it away again.) Nothing to be done.
(Esrever with a supreme effort succeeds in plugging in his computer. He turns it on, waits for it to load, brings up the internet, goes to mspaintadventures.com, clicks on the most recent page, mashes F5, looks to see if the flash has arrived, finds nothing, pushes F5 again, staring sightlessly before him)
VLADRILLGORG: Well?
ESREVER: Nothing.
VLADRILLGORG: Show me.
ESREVER: There’s nothing to show.
VLADRILLGORG: Check it again.
ESREVER: (examining the computer) I’ll air it for a bit.
To be continued?

[Descriptor]

FEdERal REgUlaTIoNs PErMIT ME To WaRN YoU oF aNY CHaNgEs MadE To THE THrEad TITlE oR CoNTENT WITHEN.
IF THEsE CHaNgEs PosE ANY SaFETY RIsK, EITHER REal oR IMaGINaRY, PlEasE CoNTaCT YoUR *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*

[Daniel990]

I didn't actually change the title to the Updog one, though, I think it was a mod.

[Bellstrom]

FEdERal REgUlaTIoNs PErMIT ME To WaRN YoU oF aNY CHaNgEs MadE To THE THrEad TITlE oR CoNTENT WITHEN.
IF THEsE CHaNgEs PosE ANY SaFETY RIsK, EITHER REal oR IMaGINaRY, PlEasE CoNTaCT YoUR *bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzt*

I read that in Torgo's voice.

[Shydragon]

I read that in Torgo's voice.

I read that in Gamzee's voice.

[Descriptor]

What I actually did in that sentence was lower case the letters in GLaDOS.

Pretty lazy, admittedly...

[Daniel990]

It begins.

[Mister Visceral]

Hmm... How can I contribute? Have a pesterlog:

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[09:49] SS: Radical, broha.
[09:49] SS: haha :P
[09:49] UC: You should write for GameBro
[09:51] SS: I think I could rip out some wicked dope word-songs for such kickass rag.
[09:51] SS: such a*
[09:51] UC: It would be totes ill
[09:51] UC: Am I doing it write?
[09:51] SS: Yes, yes you are.
[09:52] SS: It would be positively diseased.
[09:52] UC: Is there a vaccine for such a virus?
[09:52] UC: They call me the ragin' contagion for a reason.
[09:54] SS: I'm afraid that the severity of this bodily affliction is so far removed from the "goddamn chain" that no manner of panacea will shake it.
[09:55] UC: There's so much to say about this pandemic that my pen is illin'.
[09:55] SS: Wouldn't it be
[09:55] SS: .
[09:55] SS: .
[09:55] SS: .
[09:55] SS: QUILLIN'???
[09:56] UC: It claims and takes names for the chains that it's killin'.
[09:56] SS: B|
[09:56] UC: (I LOVE YOU)
[09:56] SS: You're welcome and oh god are you rapping.
[09:57] UC: Best hold funerals for the chains that deceased
[09:57] UC: The epidemic pieces just won't cease til they're pieced.
[09:58] UC: There's charm in the harm of a virus so deadly
[09:58] SS: Why can't I hold all these laughs.
[09:59] UC: We'll fight til the plight is all gone and all dead-
[09:59] UC: -like.
[09:59] SS: What was THAT
[10:00] UC: nonsequitor, bitch
[10:00] SS: Well, yeah, you nonsequited the fuck outta that one, champ.

[Almost Human]

Has enough time passed that I can make another 'Waiting for Godot' reference, or are we still rolling our eyes at my last one?

[Coasterman29]

4chan founder Moot's older brother. He was their mom's favourite, so he was called...

Updoot.

[Kíeros]

Has enough time passed that I can make another 'Waiting for Godot' reference, or are we still rolling our eyes at my last one?

Hey, I posted a rewrite that I made about a year ago less than three days ago, and wasn't yelled at; I think you can.

[Daniel990]

IT'S COMING.