Mass Effect - Skintight armor is never a fashion Faux Pas

[Dmatix]

I pretty much plan to hide myself from any ME related things until I get the chance to play it.
This is one game I do not want spoiled.

[PetPeeve]

I pretty much plan to hide myself from any ME related things until I get the chance to play it.
This is one game I do not want spoiled.

Totally. I really don't understand why people want to know everthing about a game before they play it - I just want to know if it works, is the story good, and is it fun.

then again, I know someone who reads the last chapter of novels first because they can't stand being surprised. Seriously, it makes her physically sick, like she's walking on a cliff edge, to not know every plot twist before reading. Sometimes people are just weird.

[kholhaus]

Totally. I really don't understand why people want to know everthing about a game before they play it - I just want to know if it works, is the story good, and is it fun.

then again, I know someone who reads the last chapter of novels first because they can't stand being surprised. Seriously, it makes her physically sick, like she's walking on a cliff edge, to not know every plot twist before reading. Sometimes people are just weird.

Whenever a really hyped game comes out, I have this huge compulsion to watch the game ending first.

Partly because I want to know if the game will be up to my standard.

[The Dr.]

Whenever a really hyped game comes out, I have this huge compulsion to watch the game ending first.

Partly because I want to know if the game will be up to my standard.

protip: in which case, never, ever buy RAGE.

[BRPXQZME]

What’s that Bioware? You made a Mass Effect 3? How did you know my birthday was tomorrow but also that I age up today due to time zone shenanigans? You shouldn’t have!

Oh? No copy of it for me? *mumble* cheapskates... *mutter*

[kholhaus]

So I was fuddling around in Mass Effect 2, and for some strange reasons I cannot understand, my mind drifted to sexual objectifying of Miranda Lawson. I decided to see if the character design fit this.

I came across the startling discovery that she has bad camel-toe.

WELP.

[Quirk]

So I was fuddling around in Mass Effect 2, and for some strange reasons I cannot understand, my mind drifted to sexual objectifying of Miranda Lawson. I decided to see if the character design fit this.

I came across the startling discovery that she has bad camel-toe.

WELP.

Having that much space-botox in your body at one time is bound to mess you up something fierce.

[weirdguy]

[Quirk]

Thus making the case that Katie Tiedrich is the perfect commander Shepard airtight.

[Dmatix]

Having that much space-botox in your body at one time is bound to mess you up something fierce.

Don't you mean MASS you up?
Zoing!

Yeah, I'm sorry.

[Quirk]

Wow, Bioware, wow:

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We get to see Tali's face (though just in a photo), and not only does it look far too human, but it's just a photoshopped stock image. And she had hair, which makes no sense at all and...Bioware, I thought you had Standards.

[PetPeeve]

Wow, Bioware, wow:

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We get to see Tali's face (though just in a photo), and not only does it look far too human, but it's just a photoshopped stock image. And she had hair, which makes no sense at all and...Bioware, I thought you had Standards.

Yes, this is totally worth being upset about, or even notice. LIGHT THE TORCHES

Why does it make no sense for Tali to have hair? There's certainly nothing in-game to rule it out, and I don't give a flying you-know-what about the novels. Having Quarians look humanish is actually pretty funny - you go through 2 games never showing one of their faces, and it turns out to be totally mundane. I like it.

[Quirk]

Yes, this is totally worth being upset about, or even notice. LIGHT THE TORCHES

Why does it make no sense for Tali to have hair? There's certainly nothing in-game to rule it out, and I don't give a flying you-know-what about the novels. Having Quarians look humanish is actually pretty funny - you go through 2 games never showing one of their faces, and it turns out to be totally mundane. I like it.

It was more "mild annoyance, followed by great apathy". I overstated myself.

It's more that it doesn't make much sense that the hair is long. If you're stuck wearing a helmet all day erry day, I'd suspect long hair would turn into an issue.

And I have issues with aliens that look more human than not. Pet peeve of mine.

But as usual, I overstate myself and make mountains out of molehills.

[kholhaus]

where IS this picture?

[weirdguy]

Couple of things: I think the fact that they look human IS THE JOKE, and secondly, when even a minor breach of your suit might cause you to die of a terrible infection, haircuts are more of a luxury than you can imagine.

(also, this might just be a hoax if it is really obviously photoshopped)

I can just imagine all the videos modifying this with aftereffects

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[skellytinhood]

I don't give a flying you-know-what about the novels..

That's because the novels are shite. Learning that the author of several of the novels, Drew Karpyshyn, was also the lead writer for ME 1 & 2 made me depressed. Either he just outright sucks at writing (novels at least), I just wasn't in the target age range, or Messrs Gaiman, Martin and Pratchett have spoiled me. The Mass Effect books really are just so unengaging on every level and have so many bad writing decisions.

On a related note, anyone else here think that Bioware as a whole is an excellent world builder, above-average character designer, but poor plot developer? 'Cause when their games only start falling down for me when I analyze the stories they try to tell.

[Dmatix]

That's because the novels are shite. Learning that the author of several of the novels, Drew Karpyshyn, was also the lead writer for ME 1 & 2 made me depressed. Either he just outright sucks at writing (novels at least), I just wasn't in the target age range, or Messrs Gaiman, Martin and Pratchett have spoiled me. The Mass Effect books really are just so unengaging on every level and have so many bad writing decisions.

On a related note, anyone else here think that Bioware as a whole is an excellent world builder, above-average character designer, but poor plot developer? 'Cause when their games only start falling down for me when I analyze the stories they try to tell.

As a rule I avoid video game novels. I'm sure there are some good ones, but I never came across one.

[Quirk]

On a related note, anyone else here think that Bioware as a whole is an excellent world builder, above-average character designer, but poor plot developer? 'Cause when their games only start falling down for me when I analyze the stories they try to tell.

Yep. They fall back on their stable of archetypes with regularity. Compare the Star Maps and Prothean Beacons, for example, or how a clone of Carth has appeared in every single one of their games since KOTOR, if not before.

[PetPeeve]

That's because the novels are shite.

That's as may be, but I didn't know that specifically. I'm not surprised though; I never care about tie-in material EVER, precisely for this reason - they're often hack jobs, badly edited, and aren't allowed to have any permanent effect on the setting. I'm sure someone will pipe in with an exception, but I *still* don't care. When I'm reading books, I want them to stand alone.

Learning that the author of several of the novels, Drew Karpyshyn, was also the lead writer for ME 1 & 2 made me depressed. Either he just outright sucks at writing (novels at least), I just wasn't in the target age range, or Messrs Gaiman, Martin and Pratchett have spoiled me. The Mass Effect books really are just so unengaging on every level and have so many bad writing decisions.


Writing a novel and scripting a video game are vastly different. MSPA is even a good example of that, in a weird way (since it's a nonlinear story that only works because it has the conceit of being a video game). Just something as basic as nonlinearity makes it not work. I can count on one hand (with fingers left over) the number of novels with a nonlinear component that worked. The last half of Sam Delany's "Dhalgren" maybe?

On a related note, anyone else here think that Bioware as a whole is an excellent world builder, above-average character designer, but poor plot developer? 'Cause when their games only start falling down for me when I analyze the stories they try to tell.


This is really true of most videogames I've ever played. Bioware does better than most in my opinion, though the bar is not very high. Take the uncharted games for example - really, really fun to play, but if you actually start to take the plot apart, YEESH! Best not to do that, and enjoy a game on its own terms.

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Thus making the case that Katie Tiedrich is the perfect commander Shepard airtight.

I actually liked Miranda - on my second runthrough of ME2, Jack and Miranda were my go-to squadmates, mostly because I was playing as a biotic too, and three biotics is freaking HILARIOUS. That said, these cartoons were funny as hell. In both games, I had to let everyone live (I confess, I'm a hopeless paragon in games with a morality component), or I would have pushed this button on Samara, just so she could get shot in the face when the door closed. Sadly, I needed her to live in both runthroughs, since I didn't want to waste Jack on forcefield duty.

I really hated Samara. I seriously considered picking her daughter to live instead in the loyalty quest, but that had "certain Shepard death, even if you handle her with salad tongs and don't make any romantic responses" written all over it.

[skellytinhood]

As a rule I avoid video game novels. I'm sure there are some good ones, but I never came across one.

There may be one involved in one of the big three Blizzard properties, going by sheer volume. But that's another thread.

The complaint about Bioware's stories is just that they all have plot-based narratives where things happen just because the story says it should. Not that there shouldn't be a few driving plot elements, namely the imminent Reaper invasion throughout the first two games, but it would be nice for Shepard to have some solid in-character reasoning for the things he/she gets to do. ME1 was alright, but ME2 just bound you to a chair and said "You are fighting these people for REASONS. Do as we say to win."

I just hate the pointlessness of Mass Effect 2's plot. Hate it so very, very badly.

[The Dr.]

As a rule I avoid video game novels. I'm sure there are some good ones, but I never came across one.

I stand by my opinion that the Halo series are the only good videogame novels on the market (that I've read, at least). The other ones are... er, yeah.

[reignonyourparade]

Regarding the stock photo, it's not even much EFFORT put into the photoshop: somebody on /v/ made a better photoshop out of the same image in five minutes.

[Quirk]

Regarding the stock photo, it's not even much EFFORT put into the photoshop: somebody on /v/ made a better photoshop out of the same image in five minutes.

You know, at this point, I'm not even surprised.

Good picture though. Actually looks like an alien.

[skellytinhood]

The unfortunate thing is that I had to go back and make sure the Bioware photoshop even remembered to give her only two fingers (plus thumb). The 4chan one made it more obvious, and the hand seems to look more like Tali's in-game model. Though it IS easier to believe Shepard would want to get down with Bioware's version, what with the lack of soulless black voids for eyes.

I stand by my opinion that the Halo series are the only good videogame novels on the market (that I've read, at least). The other ones are... er, yeah.

The 'Keyes Loop' bit stands out as a particularly fun space battle.

[Quirk]

Tobuscus not voicing a character = massive missed opportunity.

Though that can really be said for all games.