Clusterbent

[Mizza]

Clusterbent

Mirror (Read the prologue here): http://mspfanventures.com/log.php?adv=514
Tumblr version: http://clusterbent.tumblr.com/

Beginning of Act 1:

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Sweeps in the future, but not many...



A bitterly frost-bitten desert blows icy air at the back of a lone traveler.

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=>

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[S] ACT 1

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Clusterbent



This young troll stands in her respiteblock. It just so happens that today, the 12th bilunar perigee of the 6th dark season’s equinox, is a day of no real signifgance to this particular troll. But it is the wriggling day of one of her friends, and the day she will begin to play a most dangerous game.

What will the name of this young troll be?

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Enter name.



Your name is LYRCEA CADENA.

You are SIX SWEEPS OLD and live in a lavish hive, on AN ISLAND IN THE MIDDLE OF FUCKING NOWHERE. You love it because you usually VALUE YOUR PRIVACY, but when you are in the mood to talk to people, it makes it A TAD DIFFICULT TO SOCIALIZE. Still, you have a few INTERESTS with which to occupy your time. You enjoy playing the HARP, something that you think you are PRETTY DAMN GOOD AT. You also enjoy playing the FLUTE, but you are NOT SO GOOD AT THAT ONE. You used to enjoy playing the VIOLIN, but have lost your bow recently. Aside from playing music, you also spend time making ELIXIRS, POTIONS, AND DRUGS out of the various HERBS growing on your island. You also used to enjoy CASUAL GAMES WITH OTHERS.

Your island has a dense forest which is full of INTERESTING AND DANGEROUS BEASTS, all of which you have DRUGGED to make them docile. They now FAWN OVER VISITORS and are generally PRETTY FUCKING WORTHLESS, but you like them all the same.

You used to have VISITORS quite often, but now you mostly talk to people ONLINE. You have a SEADWELLER friend who visits you in her BOAT, but that’s about it. When she visists, she’ll usually humor you with a game of DARTS, just because she knows you have no one else to play with. You used to have a KISMESIS who would visit on her FLYING LUSUS, but she recently DROPPED YOU LIKE A BAD HABIT, probably because she was sick of your BULLSHIT. She now spends all of her time with her OVERPROTECTIVE MATESPRIT, which makes you SICK TO YOUR STOMACH. Luckily, you have a ELIXIR FOR THAT. You’ve been trying to REFILL THAT QUADRANT, but it’s hard when the particular troll you have your eye on LIVES ON THE MAINLAND and doesn’t have a flying lusus to visit you with, not to mention HE PROBABLY WOULDN’T WANT TO VISIT YOU ANYWAY, due to your aforementioned abundance of BULLSHIT.

Your trolltag is nymphsCanticum, and you speak in a manner that is ♪Very melodic and proper, if not a bit pretentious~.

What will you do?

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Snort some drugs and chitter like a monkey!



No, no! You can’t! Today is a very important day, and you need to be in perfect tune.

But then again…

No! You can’t do that. You need to do something else. What will you do?

[Naristar]

Make a new bow for your Violin!

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Make a new bow for your violin.



This is certainly one of the better ideas you’ve had today. Unfortunately, to make a new bow, you’d need wood and hoofbeast hair, two things that you don’t have at your immediate disposal!

You make a mental note to get these things next time you go out scavenging in the forest with your lusus.

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Contact the troll you have your eye on.



This is also a very good idea! You hastily make your way over to your computing device and start it up.

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Open up Trollian.



You hate to admit it, but this new version of Trollian that Thelai forced you and these other chumps to download is pretty cool. Even if it is sort of stupid that it takes up the whole screen. And includes some weird feature that probably helps him with his creepy spying obsession. So actually, no, it’s not really that cool at all. You immediately revoke that admission.

Ugh, speaking of the insufferableIdiot, he’s trolling you now.

[Naristar]

answer chum

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Answer troll.

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-- infernalInferno [II] began trolling nymphsCanticum [NC] --
II: lyrcea
II: answer me you gigantic BITCH we dont have a lot of time
NC: ♪Always the impaitient one, aren't we, Thelai~?
II: wow shut the FUCK up
NC: ♪Alright, I shall depart, then~.
II: no no SHIT stop
II: i just need to make sure that everything runs FUCKING smoothly okay
NC: ♪Fine, I'm listening~.
II: did you download the trollian beta
NC: ♪Indeed I did~.
II: and did you get the updated chumproll with everyone on it
NC: ♪Yes, but I don't know why I need it~.
NC: ♪I don't know half of these trolls~.
II: thats exactly the FUCKING point
II: once we get into the game we all need to be able to communicate
II: even with the players we dont know personally
II: make sense SHIT-for-thinkpan
NC: ♪Your obscenities are really not making me prone to cooperation~.
II: ugh
II: just get the FUCKING stick out of your nook okay
II: this will never work if we don't watch out for each other
NC: ♪Easy for you to say~.
NC: ♪I'm sure you've been 'watching out' for me since you started developing this creepy viewport feature~.
II: dont flatter yourself
II: i dont give a half-baked SHIT what happens to you
NC: ♪Then why are you even bothering with this charade~?
II: FUCK
II: because
II: i know for a FUCKING fact that arctus is going to want to play with you when the game starts
II: the stupid SHIT might have even asked you to be his server player if i didnt take the spot
II: so i want to make sure you know what youre FUCKING doing
NC: ♪What is a server player~?
II: its the person who manipulates your environment around you
II: basically if you were his sever player youd have to keep his stupid ASS from getting killed by FUCKING monsters
NC: ♪And you don't think I could~?
II: hah-FUCKING-hah
II: youre FUCKING hilarious
II: i have no doubt that you could but i also doubt you wouldnt FUCK around with him for kicks
II: dropping SHIT on his head
II: tripping him and CRAP like that
NC: ♪Wow, that's quite rude of you to say~.
II: no it isnt
II: youre smiling just FUCKING thinking about it
NC: ♪Fine, fine, point taken~.
II: sadistic BITCH
NC: ♪Sticks and stones, Thelai~.
II: id maybe consider letting you be his server player if you could FUCKING play nice
NC: ♪That's not my forte, you know that~.
II: ugh
II: it doesnt FUCKING matter anyway
II: im his server player
II: so if you want to play with him youll have to let him be your server player
II: and then youll have to pick some poor FUCKER from the updated chumproll to be your other partner
NC: ♪I suppose I can ask BE while I'm wishing her a happy wriggling day~.
NC: ♪Or I could ask FZ~...
II: dont you FUCKING dare
II: she broke up with you
II: dont bother her with your BULLSHIT
NC: ♪Calm down, Thelai~.
NC: ♪I wouldn't dare get in the middle of your happy matespritship~.
II: i dont trust you any farther than i could FUCKING throw you
NC: ♪I won't ask her, but I can't guarantee that I won't accept if she comes crawling back to me~.
II: i am going to FUCKING kill you
NC: ♪Hahaha, oh Thelai, you are way too easy to get riled up~.
NC: ♪Seriously, calm down before you bust a vein~.
II: can i at least trust you to play the game
NC: I don't know Thelai, can you~?
II: FUCK
NC: ♪Don't worry, I have no intention to back out~.
NC: ♪I said I'd play, and therefore I will~.
NC: ♪But you have no right to dictate with whom I play, do you understand~?
II: i already have
II: by being arctus server player ive prevented you from FUCKING around with him
NC: ♪ Naive as well as impaitient~.
NC: ♪Very well, you be Arctus' server player, and he can be mine~.
NC: ♪And we'll see about FZ~.
NC: ♪How is she, by the by~?
II: FUCK you
II: its none of your FUCKING business
NC: ♪Touchy touchy, I just want to know~!
NC: ♪You're way too sharp with people, you know that, Thelai~?
NC: ♪Your complete lack of proper, polite etiquette is going to get that sharp tongue of yours cut off some day~.
II: listen BITCH
II: i dont need to listen to this SHIT from you
II: i just wanted to make sure you were all set to start playing
II: after this we wont need to antagonize each other any FUCKING more
II: sound good to you
NC: ♪That sounds lovely~.
NC: ♪I'm sure you won't need to deal with me again once we get going~.
NC: ♪I'll have my server player, you'll have yours, and we'll never even have to talk~.
II: i FUCKING hope so
NC: ♪Who is your server player, then~?
II: ee is
II: he wants to teach me how to play before all you other DIPSHITS start connecting to each other
II: i can only FUCKING imagine what kind of chaos would ensue if i let you PRICKS try and figure this game out by yourselves
NC: ♪I think I'll be perfectly fine figuring it out on my own~.
NC: ♪If EE is digging it up, it's probably a game for wigglers~.
NC: ♪Anyone who won't be able to figure it out probably won't make it very far anyway~.
II: i hope you FUCKING realize that were trying to get through with most everyone in-FUCKING-tact
II: despite your sick FUCKING sadism
NC: ♪I'm not saying I hope any of our new friends get hurt~!
NC: ♪But it is certainly a probable outcome~.
II: just
II: take the FUCKING game file and find someone who needs a sever player okay
II: i have to go get ready
NC: ♪Always a pleasure chatting with you, Thelai~.
II: FUCK off
-- infernalInferno [II] ceased trolling nymphsCanticum [NC] --

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Now, get down to business with your kismesis-to-be.



Right, the whole reason you opened this stupid program. You're on it.

[Naristar]

(squee! its the sheep guy )
Ask his thoughts on the game?
or if he has any recomendations for your server player?

[whimsicalGuru]

>Flirt

[Mizza]

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-- nymphsCanticum [NC] began trolling sableBellwether [SB] --

NC: ♪Hey Arctus~.
SB: Oh! Haaay, Lyrceaaa!
SB: Whaaat's up?
NC: ♪Oh, nothing much~.
NC: ♪I was just curious if you were going to be playing the game today~.
SB: Of course I raaam!
SB: Thelaaai haaas been taaalking aaabout it since my wiggling daaay.
NC: ♪Sorry I missed that, by the way~.
NC: ♪I had lots of much more important things to attend to~.
SB: Oh, um, well, thaaat's okaaay, Lyrceaaa.
SB: I waaas out in the field working most of the daaay aaanywaaay!
NC: ♪Quite~...
NC: ♪So, Thelai is your server player, then~?
SB: Yeaaah!
SB: He insisted.
NC: ♪I'm sure~.
NC: ♪I still don't have a server player for myself, you know~.
SB: Oh! Do ewe waaant to paaair up with me, Lyrceaaa?
SB: I'm not very good with technology, but I caaan try my best!
NC: ♪Well, that sounds lovely~.
NC: ♪Now I just need someone to connect to me~!
SB: Well, ewe better be quick aaabout it!
SB: I waaas just taaalking to SS, and she saaays thaaat everyone is paaairing up reaaally faaast!
NC: ♪So SS already has a server player, then~?
SB: Yeaaah, I think she does.
NC: ♪Hm~...
NC: ♪Well, there goes my first choice~.
SB: Sorry!
NC: ♪Not to worry, I have a back-up plan~.
SB: Well, thaaat's good to heaaar!
NC: ♪What are your thoughts on the game, Arctus~?
NC: ♪Excited~?
SB: Yeaaah! I'm sure it'll be aaa lot of fun. Aaand we get to meet new friends, too!
NC: ♪I'm not sure about these other trolls, personally~.
NC: ♪I can't really trust someone I've never spoken to before, you know~?
SB: Why don't ewe taaalk to them, then, Lyrceaaa?
NC: ♪Oh Arctus~.
NC: ♪I have a lot of things to do before I start chatting up random strangers for the sake of some silly game~!
SB: Like?
NC: ♪Well, I have to wish BE a happy wriggling day~.
NC: ♪Have you done that yet~?
SB: Oh! Thaaank ewe for reminding me!
SB: It aaalmost slipped my mind. The woolbeaaasts haaave been aaacting up todaaay.
NC: ♪See, you would have messed up again and forgotten all about poor BE if it weren't for me~!
SB: Yeaaah, I guess so...
NC: ♪Now, where would you be without me~?
SB: Thaaanks, Lyrceaaa.
SB: Listen, I haaave to go. I need to get the woolbeaaasts under control before Thelaaai connects to me.
NC: ♪Oh, alright~...
SB: I'll get in contaaact with you when it's your turn to plaaay, Lyrceaaa.

-- sableBellwether [SB] ceased trolling nymphsCanticum [NC] --

[Naristar]

(does trollian have profiles for the users?)
If it does peruse the profiles of the other names on the list

[Mizza]

(does trollian have profiles for the users?)
If it does peruse the profiles of the other names on the list

{Not as far as I know, unfortunately!}

[Mizza]

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Well, that went spectacularly badly. …What now?

[Naristar]

(I don't think I get it)

Start randomly trolling others

[Chaos Waltz]

(I don't think I get it)

Start randomly trolling others

Arctus feels red for Lyrcea, and Lyrcea feel black for Arctus. And apparently neither one knows how to flirt.

>Throw a dart to see who to talk to next.

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Find a new kismesis.



It’s not that simple! Your hatecrush is extremely serious, like all romantic prospects are at 6 sweeps old.

Arctus would be a perfect kismesis for you. You hate his stupid sheep puns, the way he falls asleep on his keyboard like an idiot, his infuriating laziness, his mind-boggling obliviousness, and his excruciatingly fragile feelings. The only problem is the bulgesucker won’t hate you back!

But you’ll make it work. You’re clearly a pro at making these things work out.

[Belgarion489]

>Pick a random point on Arctus' timeline and feel your hatecrush for him disappear

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Pick a random point on Arctus’ timeline and feel your hatecrush for him disappear.



You mean use Thelai's creepy stalker feature? No thank you.

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Throw a dart to see who to talk to next.



Sure, why not.

You go over to your dartboard and grab your darts. First, you allocate one to your strife specibus.

[Mizza]

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You then captchalogue the other two darts for use.

Your sylladex uses an ORCHESTRA MODUS, which plays a particular NOTE when an item is captchalogued. This note becomes associated with the item and when searching for an item to retrieve, you pick it out of the deck based on SOUND. It took some training, but you have a pretty good handle on it now.

[Naristar]

get to the random people choosing

[Mizza]

Lyrcea: Get to the random people choosing!



Hold your hoofbeasts! This is a very delicate process.

You sing the proper note and retrieve one of the darts.

[Mizza]

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And then you let it fly.