Disinformation Desk

[Fabricati]

Wendy: Be actually well-adjusted. Just crushing.

Kevin: Not be sure what this lady's deal is. Is she a SPAH!?

[WhimsicalAquarium]

No!!! Wendy will not be well-adjusted! xD She will be a stalker!... A pleasant stalker, lol.

>Wendy: Ask for his name already!

[Naristar]

Wonder why you didn't just ring the doorbell and get ned to let you into the house

[Curris]

Because then NED WINS! AND we can't have that, eh?

[That Didn't Stop]

UPDATE: Yesterday's post now includes a brief music track. Tindeck wasn't working yesterday, so I skipped it.

[WhimsicalAquarium]

Yay!

Well, can't wait for next update.

[Curris]

GE ==> Send Kevin a SUPER SECRET Text message on his phone.
Wendy ==> "Who are you talking to?"

[That Didn't Stop]

>Wendy: Ask for his name already!



You've got a better idea.

>Kevin: Not be sure what this lady's deal is. Is she a SPAH!?



Well, Ned is obviously too busy being totally annoying to answer his phone or his ConspIre messages.

It's so weird. In all the years you've known him, Ned has never once tried to prank you, no matter how many times you get his goat. Heck, you're not even sure if he's ever even told a joke, unless you count all of his vaguely sarcastic grumbling. It's like his whole identity could be summed up with the words "humorless" and "reliable," and now suddenly he's acting like he's God's gift to japery.

And then there's Wendy. I mean seriously, what's her deal? Maybe she and Ned are in cahoots in some way. Or maybe she's a stalker.

Either way, your minimal CIA training and has taught you that reasonably attractive women are usually trying to poison you. You should probably stop drinking the coffee. Or at least try to resist the urge to get a refill.

>Begin weaving an unfathomly intricate web of lies and deceit so thick that the truth is as but a whisper on the wind. . . By which I mean, make small talk until you succumb to coffee roofie.



But then again, it really is the best coffee.

==>



"So, what kind of coffee is this, anyway? And where in God's name can I get some?"
"It is known as the Blood of Oromiyaa. It's almost impossible to find, but lucky you! You live next to a charming lady who always has it in abundant supply!"
"Which is pretty awesome. But does that mean I can't have any at home?"
"It's only available to the Chosen Few. The Caffeinated Friends. The Champions of Frappe. Only those who have seen the Eye of Kona and felt the jittery warmth of its regard may partake of it. Sorry!"
"But I totally have! I have passed through its radiant shadow, and so glimpsed the true form of Focus and Energy!"
"You have? Smashing! You are ready to join us, and begin your journey..."

==>



"...just as soon as we get some basic paperwork out of the way."

[Chwoka]

ned@ned.net

Your name, obviously, is Sound-Sop Yogurt.

[Curris]

I like this Wendy more and more. . .

Kevin ==> For this kind of coffee, do anything. Write your name, and valid email address. (Oh, wait, do you still have your invisible ink pen? That's not for use outside of your message board, silly you. . .)

[Naristar]

Oh no ned must be posessed by soemthing
and don't fall for the cult run from the house like this wendy chick is on fire
seriously don't explain just run

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Kevin: Put only your first name and give Ned's email.

>Wendy: Now that you've got his name, what names have you been thinking of for your children?

[That Didn't Stop]

While an obscure forum game is not the ideal place to stage a protest, I will be participating in today's blackout. I feel that the SOPA and PIPA are extremely misguided, and the potential for catastrophic harm is great. I'd write my senator, but it looks like he's already on the right side... perhaps you (yes, I'm talking to you personally) have one that needs a bit of convincing.

But if you are going to protest, please try to find out what the bill actually does instead of just spewing defiance over Twitter like a truculent wiggler! It's bloody embarrassing!

On a lighter note: thanks for all the great suggestions, people! You own at this game. You post ALL the good ideas. The readership... HASS the creativity, and the"re driving SO HARD threw the paint DOWN TOWN. soooooooooo cooooooool, etc etc.

[That Didn't Stop]

>For this kind of coffee, do anything. Write your name, and valid email address.



You feel that you cannot possibly scrawl your fake name onto that paper fast enough.

>don't fall for the cult run from the house like this wendy chick is on fire



But then again, everything about this situation stinks to Langley. What is wrong with Ned? What does Wendy have to do with it? How long have you been sitting here and accomplishing nothing while your career hangs in the balance?

>Put only your first name and give Ned's email.



Okay, that'll work. Sign first, run later!

>seriously don't explain just run



"I gotta go. Sorry, Wendy! See ya later!"

==>



Someone is messaging you.

Oh please don't be GE.

Or HA.

Or TW.

And for the love of CRAP don't be SE!

Probably not a good time to be TI, either.

==>



It's Ned!

Show ConspIrelog:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

OrwellsRecruit contacted InfallibleFalsehood at 12:26 pm

OR: don;t aNsder your door

[Naristar]

What the hell does that mean
Thats it it is time to break into your own house!
Go get crowbar from car and start breaking windows!

[Mibbs]

text back: how can i answer the door when you locked me out?

[greenMachine]

Wait a second...this means that isn't Ned in our house!

Because we're relatively clueless, reply to the text per Mibbs. Then:
>Realize a complete stranger is in your house. Panic.

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>OMG! OMG! What is this about? Is it because I wrote your email on that paper, Ned? Is it? I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry...

[That Didn't Stop]

>text back: how can i answer the door when you locked me out?



Show ConsIrelog:

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IF: how can i answer the door when you locked me out?
OR: oh gog you arleady did
OR: but your outsiesd now
OR: dont go back in
IF: whats goin on
IF: where are you
OR: i am at my houas
OR: onthe floor
OR: he drgbed me
OR: druged
OR: i can barelty see
IF: oh god im calling ge
IF: just keep talking, alright
IF: dont stop talkin

>Call GE.



Show ConsIrelog:

show spoiler

hide spoiler

GrandioseEnigma is not signed in!

InfallibleFalsehood contacted GrandioseEnigma at 12:26 pm

IF: boss when you get this
IF: neds in trouble
IF: someone attacked him
IF: pls hurry

InfallibleFalsehood broke contact with GrandioseEnigma

>Panic.



No. Don’t panic. Stay calm. Focus and Energy now, Panic later.

Show ConsIrelog:

show spoiler

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OR: he lppks jusjt like me
OR: ghe took my cosftume
OR: and i fekl asllpeep
OR: sill abit fuizzy in theh head
OR: i cant see muhc
OR: domt let him in
OR: wlht the hnel does he wnat
OR: i tohught i wad dead
OR: ord dreamnign
OR: fahahskjks
IF: hang in there ned

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Contemplate whether this is your fault because you filled out that paper with Ned's email.

>Never trust your neighbor again!

[Naristar]

try to smoke him out!!!!!

[That Didn't Stop]

>Call Police.



Yeah, right. You know better than that.


>Go get crowbar from car and start breaking windows!



There is no crowbar in your car.


==>



And you don’t need one.


==>



The Blood of Oromiyaa flows through your veins.




==>




==>



Caffetech Lvl. 1: Kona’s Wrath!


==>



LIGHT ROOOOOAST!

[Mibbs]

Not Ned: be waiting for kevin with a sack of doorknobs

[Naristar]

Ok That was +10 on the awsome meter!!
Trip over your lintel and roll a couple feet thus avoiding Fake Ned's trap

[Naristar]

Ok That was +10 on the awsome meter!!
Trip over your lintel and roll a couple feet thus avoiding Fake Ned's trap