Disinformation Desk

[That Didn't Stop]

> Fall down stairs because no one warned you.



You promptly fall down the stairs. Fortunately, you have already made it down to the Bigfoot picture and have only a few stumbling steps to make before you find yourself on level ground again.

> Lock Ned out! That'll really get his goat!



You can hardly wait. Dare you hope that he might show up in his ceremonial robes? And then be forced to gather up his skirts and gingerly step through the grass to make his way toward the back door? Dare you hope?

==>



You dare.

[Naristar]

Hide out of sight and watch the fun!

[Mibbs]

Ned: have a spare set of keys

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Blend into the pile of balls that are nearby. Conveniently, they are shaped and look just like your head, which was one of Ned's jokes a few weeks ago.

[PinkMawile]

> Be Ned, know real magic and step through door.

[That Didn't Stop]

>Hide out of sight and watch the fun!



You conceal yourself behind dense plastic shrubbery, which you purchased specifically for the purpose of concealment.

Your spending habits, like all of your other habits, tend to be capriciously impulsive.

==>



Crap. You forgot that Ned had a spare key.

==>



"Hey, that neighbor girl said she needed to talk to you. She looked pretty upset, so I'll just wait for you upstairs, alright?"

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Think of how badass Ned looks in that robe/cloak.

[Curris]

I am beginning to suspect that Ned may, in fact, be a Jedi.

KCF ==> Talk to the neighbor girl. You don't want her upset. If she's upset, then she'll let everyone know your secrets. That will not end well. Bah! Neighbors, snooping in your business. . . *grumble* *mumble*

Neighbor Girl ==> Be completely pleasant.

[Naristar]

Ned fall down the stairs
YOu go talk to neighbor girl!

[That Didn't Stop]

>Think of how badass Ned looks in that robe/cloak.



As Ned ascends, you take a moment to behold the magnificent robes that trail behind him. They are magnificent.

You almost regret the fact that you are going to set them on fire soon.

>Talk to the neighbor girl.



You take a deep breath, set your jaw, and coerce your feet into carrying you through the front door.

A thick silence envelopes you as you close the door behind you. It's a little creepy how quiet your neighborhood is. Seriously, it's like being underwater or something. Birds don't even come here.

==>



You don't see her anywhere. Maybe she's trying to lure you into her house, where she can offer you coffee and keep you tied up for hours.

Tied up in conversation, you mean. Not, like, actually tied up. She would never do anything like that. Probably.

>Knock on door.



She's not answering. You don't hear any signs that she's home, either. The muffled sound of country-pop music is conspicuously absent, as is the shrill barking of her ridiculous little dog.

==>



Oh, here she comes. For a dame in distress, she sure is taking her sweet time. This is not going to be pleasant.

>Neighbor Girl: Be completely pleasant.



You are now: Wendy Carter. You are just returning from a lengthy walk with your dog Sandy, and you are feeling particularly pleasant today. The soothing quiet of your sleepy community has that effect on you.

What's this? Why, it appears that your handsome, mysterious neighbor was just about to pay you a visit! What a pleasant (and completely unprecedented) surprise!

[Armok]

> dog: yelp

[Mibbs]

kevin: greet neighbor with EXTREME CAUTION

[Naristar]

"You rang madam"
Dispence with the formalities and get to the chase

[That Didn't Stop]

>Greet neighbor.



"Hi there, neighbor!"
"Hey, Wendy. What seems to be the the problem?"
"What do you mean? Did I do something wrong?"
"Huh? No. Ned said you wanted to talk to me."
"Well, I haven't spoken to Ned today, but I certainly don't mind talking to you!"
"There's no emergency or anything?"
"Not even a little bit. What's up with that hoodie, anyway? Are you some kind of spy? Or are you not allowed to you say?"
"Got it at a yard sale."
"Smashing! So, d'you want some coffee?"
"Yes. I mean, no! Sorry, I automatically accept any offer of coffee. But I really ought to go back. Ned doesn't usually say things that aren't true..."
"Oh, okay. Coffee later?"
"Sure."

==>



It looks like this was just a misunderstanding, and he didn't want to visit you at all. You try not to let that get you down.

Besides, he's coming over for coffee later! Hopefully then you can find a way to get him to reveal his name to you, without revealing the fact that you still don't know it.

Otherwise, you might be forced to rifle through his mail or something.

>Be handsome, mysterious neighbor.



You go back to being the one who calls himself Kevin C. Fritterburg.

Lousy stupid Ned and his meddlesome meddling! He's always saying that you need to get yourself a girlfriend. Obviously, he decided to exploit your helpful and altruistic nature and your crippling caffeine addiction in order to set you up on a date. That much is 100% certain.

You are going to find that jerk and give him a piece of your mind!

==>



To your immesurable dismay, you have been locked outside! There are simply no words to describe the extent to which you have been bested in this round of prankery. None whatsoever.

[Curris]

Oh man! I was so going to suggest that Ned lock Kevin out. But, you beat me to it! Bravo~!

Kevin ==> Ask Wendy for that cup of coffee now. Use Cell-phone to call Ned over. Tell him that you're going to do the filming at Wendy's house. This has several advantages
A) Ned comes back out and unlocks the door, none the wiser that his prank got you. You'll deny ever trying the door!
B) Ned, in his magnificent goofy robes will be shamed, and you'll look smooth.
C) Coffee cravings are hitting harder than expected. . . Addiction is a powerful thing. . .

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Neighbor: Be swooned over the mysterious, handsome neighbor. Be in ecstasy when he accepts your offer for coffee.

>Neighbor: He will be your boyfriend if it's the last thing you do! He will!!! Mwahahaha! Ahem...

[Chwoka]

You took your key with you, right?

[Mibbs]

check for open windows

[Naristar]

Go through your secret side entrance

[Fabricati]

> Wonder why you are partially transparent.

[Armok]

> back door: be locked to
> windows: be barred
> vents: be blocked
> more things: be etc.

[That Didn't Stop]

The mirror is up btw!


> You took your key with you, right?



What do you think?

> check for open windows





Ground floor windows: 4 of 4 locked
Back door: locked
Keys hidden on property: 0
Ladders available: 0
Traversable air vents: 0
Secret entrances: 0
Teleporters: 0

> Ask Wendy for that cup of coffee now. Use Cell-phone to call Ned over. Tell him that you're going to do the filming at Wendy's house.



You don’t have your cell phoooowait yeah you do.


==>




>Wendy: Be swooned over the mysterious, handsome neighbor. Be in ecstasy when he accepts your offer for coffee.



You are so delighted that your anonymous friend actually showed up for your date that you agree to let him use your house as a set for his independent film.

Apparently he’s a filmmaker. How exciting!

Say, maybe he can help you break into the film industry. I mean, you’ve never really given it much thought, but you suppose it would be fun to be an actress. Or maybe it wouldn’t. Who cares? The important thing is that you are friends, and that he complimented you on your coffee.

You make the best coffee.


>Wendy: He will be your boyfriend if it's the last thing you do! He will!!! Mwahahaha! Ahem...



Everything is going according to plan. His name will be yours by the end of the hour. His heart, by the end of the week. You aren’t about to let this fine fella get away.

Which is to say that you won’t let this fine fella get away without first making a decent effort to try and make him like you. You’re not a psycho or anything.

[Mibbs]

Kevin: pet that dog

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>Dog: Yip like an angry pup and bite his hand.

>Kevin: Gain werewolf powers.

>Wendy: Kindly offer to get some bandages and rubbing alcohol for disinfection. Involve a lot of touching, you will touch that hand! Contact is important in romance! It is!!! He will love you!!! Ahem...

[Curris]

Kevin ==> Begin weaving an unfathomly intricate web of lies and deceit so thick that the truth is as but a whisper on the wind. . . By which I mean, make small talk until you succumb to coffee roofie.

Wendy ==> Have you already picked out baby names yet? Couples do that, right?