Disinformation Desk

[Jetroid]

Check out that box on the floor, buddy!

[That Didn't Stop]

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This month's forecast: busy, with a chance of scattered updates.

> so if amplifying is what lets you defy us, what stops us from just speaking softer to get around it?

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NEXT TOPIC>

Unplugged phone < Ring

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W-WHAT>!>!


HEY< DON"T DO THAT!

Check out that box on the floor, buddy!

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OH< THAT?


THAT"S MY AMPLIFIER>


YOUR FELLOW VOICES OFTEN MARVEL AT HOW "POORLY RENDERED" IT IS

>Mr. Irons, sir, this is Miss Manners speaking. You haven't gotten rid of the files yet. I'm afraid your friend will continue to pester you on looking at them and keep sending you new ones until you do.

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YEAH< HE PROBABLY WILL


AND< CONSIDERING THAT MY EMAIL INBOX APPEARS TO HAVE GONE FROM EMPTY TO FULL IN THE SPAN OF A FEW HOURS, I THINK HE ALREADY HAS>

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Your inbox is full!

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

(PAGE 1 of 64)

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OKAY< THESE AREN"T FROM TW


HEY< VOICEY?


IF IT IS IN YOUR POWER>>>


CAN YOU PLEASE JUST KILL ME NOW?

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FROM: systemicexemplar@conspire.scry
SUBJECT: IN THE INTEREST OF SELF-PRESERVATION, YOU WILL COMPLY.
DATE: February 6, 2012 11:11:11 AM UTC
TO: alvinirons@brainwaver.com

THERE IS A TIME AND A PLACE FOR CURIOSITY, ALVIN IRONS. KINDERGARTEN, FOR EXAMPLE. A CHURCH EASTER-EGG HUNT. THE SITE OF A HORRIFIC CAR ACCIDENT.

BUT "IF'S" DISAPPEARANCE IS NONE OF YOUR CONCERN. LET IT GO. RECORD YOUR QUAINT VIDEO-LOG. GAZE AT YOUR ESTRANGED DAUGHTER'S HIDEOUS CRAYON PORRAITS, AND REMINISCE ABOUT SQUANDERED OPPORTUNITIES. PLAY YOUR ABSURD MIDI KEYBOARD UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED FULVOUS RIVERS OF MEDIOCRITY.

FORGET THAT MAN EVER EXISTED.

THE WORLD IS VAST, AND MAN IS SMALL. IF YOU CONTINUE TO PERSUE THIS MATTER, YOU WILL NOT BE AFFORDED ANOTHER CHANCE TO GO BACK TO SLEEP.

YOUR VIGILANT ALLY,

THE SYSTEMIC EXEMPLAR

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SystemicExemplar is not signed in!

HermeticAluminium contacted SystemicExemplar at 1:22 pm

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HA: OF COURSE YOU"RE NOT SIGNED IN>


HA: THERE WAS NO WAY THAT YOU WEREN"T GONNA BE NOT SIGNED IN>

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HermeticAluminium contacted SeditiousEmissary at 1:23 pm

HA: HEY MORON!
HA: I NEED TO TALK TO YOUR FRIEND
HA: GO GET HIM
SE: uh yeah he doe5nt wanna talk right now
SE: i can take a me55age tho
HA: OKAY<
HA: TELL YOUR ROBOT BRAIN TO STOP CONTACTING ME>
HA: TELL HIM I HATE HIS STUPID ROBOT FACE
HA: AND THAT NOTHING HE SAYS WILL AFFECT MY DECISION IN ANY WAY< SHAPE OR FORM
SE: okay well fir5t of all im the "robot" not him
SE: he5 technically a human
SE: a rly evil human
HA: OH FOR CHRIST"S SAKE
HA: I DON"T CARE ABOUT THAT
HA: EVEN IF I BELIEVED FOR A SECOND THAT YOU WERE TWO PEOPLE
HA: (WHICH I DON"T)
HA: I JUST WANT BOTH OF YOU TO
HA: GO>
HA: AWAY>
SE: hey man dont take it out on me
SE: im ju5t tryin to help
HA: JUST
HA: DON"T>
SE: k
HA: NOW GO TELL YOUR FAKE ALTERNATE PERSONALITY THAT I SAID "GOODBYE"
HA: AND I HOPE HE RECEIVES WHATEVER KARMIC RETRIBUTION A SERIAL SPAMMER DESERVES
SE: yeah well we share a body
SE: so he can just read this conversation
HA: *BLUH BLUH BLUH*
HA: *DISINGENUOUS BLATHER*
SE: the exemplar is real dude
SE: you dont even know
HA: *THIRD_RATE ROLE_PLAYING NONSENSE*
HA: I MEAN REALLY
HA: IT"S NOT EVEN ORIGINAL
HA: YOUR STORY
HA: IT"S JUST LIKE THE TERMINATOR MOVIES
HA: OR THE MATRIX
SE: it5 ju5t like a lot of thing5
SE: 5torie5 ppl tell each other about their 5ecret opre55or5
SE: like metal gear
SE: best 5erie5 ever yo
SE: 5o many emotion5
SE: im pretty 5ure tho5e game5 were directly re5pon5ible for teaching me human emotion5
SE: do u play video game5e5?
HA: SURE
HA: I GOT TETHRIS ON MY LAPTOP HERE
HA: BUT ANYWAY< I"M NOT FINISHED CRITIQUING YOU YET
HA: IT"S NOT JUST THE "ROBOTS ARE SECRETLY RULING THE WORLD" THING
SE: we arent robot5 we are artificial intelligence5
HA: SHUT UP
HA: CAN"T YOU SEE I"M IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ANGRY RANT?
SE: uh no
SE: u always type like that
HA: AS I WAS SAYING
HA: IT"S NOT JUST THAT YOUR CONSPIRACY HOAX SUCKS DRAIN_O THROUGH A CRAZY STRAW
HA: OR THAT IT RIPS OFF MORE MOVIES THAN CHINESE WEBSITES
HA: IT"S THAT I DON"T BELIEVE IN THE CHARACTERS
HA: LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT
HA: YOU HAVE A COLD< CALCULATING HUMAN
HA: AND THEN YOU HAVE A GOOFY< IMMATURE COMPUTER PERSON WHO TRIES TO SABOTAGE ALL THE HUMAN"S PLANS
SE: yup that5 me
HA: I HAVE THE DISTINCT IMPRESSION THAT I"VE HEARD THIS STORY BEFORE>
HA: AND IT"S JUST AS STUPID THE SECOND TIME!
SE: i gue55 u gotta believe what u gotta believe bro
SE: i cant make you wanna be free if you dont wanna be free
HA: DONT> CALL> ME> BRO>
HA: DONT> CALL> ME> AT> ALL>
SE: k
HA: THAT GOES FOR BOTH OF YOU< ALRIGHT?
SE: k
HA: I MEAN IT!
SE: awright i wont call u
SE: or email or whatever
SE: ur dead to me
SE: ur caps lock 5peak give5 me a headache anyways
HA: I LITERALLY CANNOT BELIEVE I"M READING THIS
HA: FROM YOU OF ALL PEOPLE
HA: I MUST HAVE GONE INSANE FOR REAL THIS TIME
HA: AND I"M HALLUCINATING THIS FLAGRANT CHATROOM HYPOCRISY
HA: YOU HAVE MADE ME HALLUCINATE
HA: BESIDES<
HA: I TYPE LIKE THIS BECAUSE MY SHIFT KEY IS STUCK
SE: liar
HA: YOU TAKE THAT BACK!!!
HA: IT IS TOO!!!
SE: yeah right
HA: ALRIGHT IT"S NOT STUCK
HA: STRICTLY SPEAKING
HA: IT USED TO BE STUCK< ANYWAY
HA: IT"S KIND OF LIKE A TRADEMARK NOWADAYS
HA: KINDA LIKE YOUR STUPID %"S
HA: >>>
HA: your 5's
HA: which replace S's
HA: inconsistently, I MIGHT ADD
HA: shouldn't a computer be able to remember his own typing quirk?
SE: i do that on purpo5e
SE: it help5 me approximate a laid back sorta attitude
SE: the exact opposite of the exemplar
SE: it really pi5535 him off
HA: I CAN IMAGINE

HermeticAluminium broke contact with SeditiousEmissary

[Mibbs]

man fuck that guy for real. go get some juice man

[Naristar]

do exactly the opposide of what the computer emails tell you to do!!
Please!!!!

[WhimsicalAquarium]

>SystemicExemplar: Don't stop spamming.

>SeditiousEmissary: You really don't care if SystemicExemplar stops spamming or not; in fact, you find it amusing.

>Plant behind Mr. Irons: Come alive and start wrapping your vines around Mr. Irons.

[98714123340]

> How is our friendly neighborhood CIA doing?